Hey folks. Shorter updates during the next two months because of the holiday season. If I didnt answer your question by reply mail, I might be saving it for next month. Hope you and yours have a happy and safe one.
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Jon Stewart signed a 4 year deal with HBO. What you think? -Gr8Escape
I thought he was really going to take some time off, but he probably feels bad because Donald Trump is still in this race and Trevor Noah is awful. I welcome him back, but Jon Oliver is absolutely killing it over there. The whole thing seems wonky, but Ill give whatever hes doing a shot.
Any first world problems this holiday season? -CanadiAnne
Oh my God, only the most firstest world problem ever. I bought a dozen macarons from this fancy downtown Salem bakery on Friday before Thanksgiving for $25, thinking Id take them home to family for a snack to share. Yes, thats fucking $2 a cookie, like 2 bites each. But they are fantastic. Turns out they wouldnt last that long and I had to eat a dozen of the most luxurious cookies by myself between Sunday and Tuesday. I was an asshole stuffed with amazing baked goods.
How often do you drink alcohol, and how much? -LikwidGreen93
Whenever Im at fancy dinners or social events. Couple times a month, maybe. How much depends on how Im feeling at the time, usually 2 or 3 drinks. I had 2 or 3 Jamesons during Thanksgiving after fasting all morning in preparation for the meal. Then my wife broke out cider and caramel vodka cordials, so I topped off with one of them. I stopped because I wanted to keep my wits for dinner. I was having fun, but eyes on the prize, you know?
Do you have to trade toys when Geocaching? -SugarComa11
No, but thats a fun part for me, so I do. Its not essential to the experience. We just get happy meals and keep the toy wrapped. Or sometimes Ill just put a quarter in a bubblegum toy machine as Im leaving the store. Theres a shoebox in my car full of little random toys. You dont have to trade anything. Even if you see a little toy or trinket, you can take it without anyone calling you a cheater or whatever. Its all about having fun, and if a tiny rubber alien is going to bring you some small amount of joy then you fucking pocket that pencil topper and rock on.
I read that Jimmy Fallon is an alcoholic. Didnt see that coming. -Itab
Yeah, I can see that as hes kind of a man child, and so goofy youd think substances would be almost counter-productive. But after I saw him playing beer pong on his show with celebrities, I kind of got the hint, and apparently its the most open secret in Hollywood since John Travolta. And what a slap in the face to that tea-totaler, Johnny Carson. I like how everyone is pretending that employment as “Late night talk show host” requires sobriety. But, there’s self-righteousness to be had, I guess.
Would you rather suck 1 horse sized human dicks or 100 human sized horse dicks? -Saywhaaaaa
I’d rather play video games and eat dessert, but Im going to assume this is a “gun to the head” situation and say the one giant dick. Sucking one hundred dicks sounds like practice to me.
Jon Batiste & Stay Human Ruin The Late Show with Stephen Colbert. I hate that guy with his piano harmonica. Am I supposed to be impressed with that silly instrument? That guy is so weird and out of place. -INTRESIS
The music is great for the show, hes a fine bandleader, and his energy and tone are a perfect fit to Stephen, but Jon Baptiste is completely devoid of any acting chops or comedic skill. The melodica is also dumb for a television bandleader. He can have the exact same size toy piano with a pedal or wheel or something to control modulation so it comes off gimmicky and like a novelty. It looks like he duct taped two Fisher Price instruments together that he grabbed from a nearby preschool to bring onto a nationally televised show. It would be fine if he was making an album or on the radio, but television accompanies music with pictures and its fucking distracting to see him playing with toys. The Fisher Price Xylophone is an actual instrument used by actual musicians (albeit a small number of them). It also doesnt have a place on television when you want to be taken seriously as a musician.
Give me a billion dollar idea. -Ctrl.Alt.Repeat
A remake/version of JackAss with a female cast would make a billion dollars, right? Youd have to have a couple sexy ones to make a billion dollars, but factoring in worldwide receipts, I bet you break the three comma mark.
The Whimsical MetaCognitionist Chronicles 