The What’s What, Volume 1oo

I live on the gulf coast and I have some investment capital.  You consider yourself smart, any ideas to capitalize? -Roarseed

I’m omitting purchasing stock in BP.  Sure, its at its lowest and will go back up, but let’s say you have a conscience.  Also, I’m going to forgo any idea revolving around capitalizing on desperation, ignorance, and fear.  Granted, there is A LOT of opportunity if you have no scruples about screwing your neighbor who’s already broke, but I’d rather not advocate them.  Boil it all down, I come up with a half dozen ideas.  The one I think would make the most profit is investing in Freshwater Sportfishing.  Right? Marine Sportfishing is a billion dollar a year industry.  All these people will have to find new hobbies. Changing your hobby from saltwater to freshwater fishing doesn’t take a lot of knowhow adjustment, but it will cost uber dollars. Lures/Bait, poles and especially, boats are very different. Hell, even the line is different.  That’s what I got.  Good Luck with your life down there.

what will people think of Derek Fisher in 10 years? one of the best ever or just in the right place at the right time? most people thought kobe couldn’t win a ring without shaq, i think he can’t win one without d fish -kid_chilly

An astounding number of people I hear talk about Derek Fisher didn’t like him until they hear about his daughter, and then they don’t talk about how much they hate his personality anymore and instead talk about his daughter.  Right now, I think he’s an asshole who exploits his daughters condition for America’s good graces. 10 years? I’m not sure.  Hit me back in 10 years.

Your stance on abortion? -g4m3rg1rl

I can’t believe it’s taken 100 updates and three years for this question to make an appearance.  Weird.  Men have a habit of leaving pregnant women instead of manning up, so women should be allowed to have abortions. Personally, I’m disgusted by women who weigh it as an option while rationalizing having unprotected sex, which happens a lot more than we’d like to admit.  Ultimately, it’s a woman choice, and I feel like only women should have the right to vote on this issue.  The globe can’t afford more unwanted people in the resource sink.  Its voluntary population control, so bring that on in full effect.  I find it hypocritical when people don’t want abortions, but then don’t want to support the social programs to give the baby a fair shot at a decent life.

Did you get a chance to play the new Super Mario Wii?  Reaction?  -Glocktypus

Awesome and challenging when playing alone. Frustrating and a disaster when playing with friends.

Diane Lane is the hottest cougar on planet, currently.  All other opinions are currently invalid.  -EcklesBee3

Something about her trusted roles as strong mothers that always put her in weird territory with me. Also, her spot on Boston accent might have something to do with it. I’m sure others have a celebrity that they recognize the physical attractiveness of and just don’t have a sexual urge to plant. Like resembles a sister or ex that you hate or something.

Kobe Bryant has some of the ugliest children ever. -lezzeeneeus

They are remarkably ugly. I said the same thing when I saw those things on his lap, as anyone in the room with me at the time can attest.   They look like trolls.  Not mythical trolls, but actual “Trolls” those pencil toppers from the 80s.  It’s a good thing they’re rich.

I kind of hope a solar flare destroys a bunch of satellites.  I’d love to watch people’s reactions when their GPS doesn’t work, their cell phone can’t make calls, and when they can’t dick around on apps all day. -Corrosieve

I geocache, so the GPS would completely disassemble my favorite hobby. But, it would allow everything to start over from scratch and I bet there would be a lot of improvements.  Would I take the destruction on my hobby for a year or so if it made things better?  That’s a tough one.

This dude in the stall next to me had no brotiquette.  I’m trying to take a piss, and he’s trying to discuss the decor of the restroom with me. Dude, you do not talk to the guy next to you in the bathroom. -WhoresShoeChamp

The decor? Thats an offense of brotiquette as it stands. What the hell could have possibly been so amazing about that bathroom that he started talking to you?  I mean, if he asks you for the time or if you know a local sports score, that’s one thing.  But wall treatments and shit?  You should have peed on his shoes.

The What’s What, Volume 61

What’s the worst kind of internet degenerate?  Liars, Fanboys, Music/Religious elitists, Trolls? -Lourde_VJ

Oh, God. White Knights. Hands down.  Is there anything more pathetic that a guy standing up for someone over the internet solely because shes a woman?   I just can’t find it in myself to allow them even a slight shred of credibility. Plus, they are feeding attention whores, my second least favorite type of internet user, and least favorite type of real person.

My girlfriend dumped me, but as it stands, I still have to give her rides to work.  Is there anything more pathetic than that? -ValidDickTorian

Pathetic?  Yes.  But, also, a little opportunity to twist that dagger.  Grab some of your sister/Moms perfume and spray it in the car the night before.  Then pick her up with the windows down so it looks like you were trying to mask it.

Can you imagine how epic it would be to see the Star Wars V twist in theatres for the first time? -Victor777

Kinda sad that no one from any following generation will get the twist. With all the pop culture reference and what not. I remember that an episode of Muppet Babies spoiled it for my little sister. Kids now will just find it as a shocking moment to Luke, and important to the plot, not shocked themselves.

Family Guy was nominated for Outstanding Comedy Series. That has only been the 2nd time an animated show has been nominated in that category. The Flinstones is the other. -wool21

Great show.  But the fact that the Simpsons wasn’t the 2nd animated show to be nominated is borderline criminal, and definitely produces credibility problems for the Emmy’s, in my eyes.

Sarah Palin’s pregnant daughter vs Bill Clinton’s affair. Why do people who love Clinton bash Palin for her daughter being pregnant?   Sounds pretty stupid to me.  -Harts1780

I think it’s because while Gov Palin preached abstinence as the best policy and from her daughters actions, it seems she didn’t have her families support on the issue. President Clinton wasn’t trying to make adultery or cigar molestation a punishable legal offense or anything.

What restaurants should the health department hit hard; Asian or Mexican?-Emptymedia

Oh my God. Mexican BY FAR. Mexican food is slow cooked and left out in double boilers or under heat lamps for hours.  Chinese food is flash fried to order in searing woks. And in order to get many sauces to caramelize, they have to be brought to a ridiculously high temperature.   You could seriously add a teaspoon of swine flu in front of me into the wok thats preparing my food, and I’d still take the chinese food over Mexican.

Do you know that paramedics can’t pronounce someone dead unless they’re decapitated?  Moobs1818

You saying the movie “Knowing” had inaccurate information involved in its presentation?

As I type this, my girlfriends step dad is playing guitar and singing Christian music. I’m an atheist, and he knows it. -MDTerps07

Make up your own lyrics about how you should kill women for speaking in church, and stoning gays and sing along.

Were you involved in any school activities at college?-DimNeon

My friends and I had a radio show. We created fictional personalities and interviewed each other.   I was the Prince of International Waters for one show. We broadcast live Zonk games from the dorms. Played music and held marathon shows for lunar eclipses and meteor showers. Some of the greatest times I had was in that studio.

Which minor injury sucks more; Papercut or Splinter? -DigitalTornado

Ill go with splinter. Papercuts heal themselves.   You have to wait until you can take a sliver out which can be hours, and then you have to deal with this painful annoyance in you for hours, possibly.

Thoughts on the Erin Andrews nude video? -Crackagoboom

Its not fair to her at all. But in the mean time, she’s smoking hot and she’s welcome to see me naked any time she would like to.  Additionally, shes the one who confirmed it.  The video quality isn’t great enough to make a definitive claim as to the identity.  If she said “That’s not me” I would have believed her and likely never have seen it.