The What’s What, Volume 163

Have you gone in on Bruce/Caitlyn Jenner yet?  -Atchamachula

Lets talk about Caitlyn refusing to identify herself as a lesbian as obviously masking homophobia.  I mean, that was my understanding of her explanation.  When she balks at giving the required details, it seems quite ingenuous when you invited the camera into your home to begin with.  You’re the one who brought up your bafflejunk, so lets talk about it.  Maybe your argument would be better received if you stop piquing everyones interests and then telling those who are trying to understand that its none of their business.  Even trans people can be homophobic.  What a complex world equality is.

Is Bruce Jenners transformation just a publicity stunt thought up by reality TV execs to make money? can’t decide if its legit or he’s full of shit. -Breezy921

I believe hes the reason for the TV show. The producers knew Bruce was a trainwreck ready to happen, had some fame hungry kids so they gave them a tv show knowing the eventual trainwreck would happen and  they get to cash in on that juicy transgender breakthrough ratings and money and hype.

GF: We should do engagement photos
Me: No.
GF: Why not?
Me: I don’t want to play in leaves
GF: There doesn’t have to be leaves.
Me: There’s always leaves.
GF: You really don’t want to do this do you?
Me: No.
GF: Fine, but we’re doing wedding pictures and if I get pregnant, baby pictures.
Me: Okay.

Summarized convo. I’m going to try to wiggle out of baby announcement pictures if that time ever comes. I have some time to work on that though.  -machooch

I fought my way out of them, too. Its not a representation of who we are. “Remember that time we went to the beach and carved our initials into the beach with our bare feet, so the tide could wash away our love into the ocean forever more? You dont remember? ITS BECAUSE WE WOULD NEVER DO SOMETHING AS RIDICULOUS AS THAT.” I dont want to spend hundreds of dollars memorializing an event that wouldn’t exist.  Seems conceited.  Have your friend take candid photos of you doing things you like to do. Its the shit Id want remembered anyway.  That was basically my argument. We had a baby and she gets baby photos. I don’t care about that. Grandparents, relatives and friends legitimately want photos of that shit. Good Luck getting out of that one. You dont have to be in them or anything. You dont need the professional family mayhem. But there WILL be professional baby photos, you get used to that shit right now.

Are you more of a “based on statistics” or “based on personal experience” kind of person? -PermiscuousRex

My gut tells me I should say statistics.

Christian Summer Camp Denies Autistic Boy.  I thought Christians were caring people.  I didnt think Jesus hates autistic children.  -critter717

You must have missed it.  “‘And Yay’, he said standing on the mount and before the gathered village, ‘it is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle, than the developmentally awkward to enter the Kingdom of God'” and with that did he shoveth Corky, the village boy needing a goat-skull helmet, to the ground with disdain”. Jericho 7:13-18

Today I learned that some girls have the philosophy: “Lets get it brackin’ now or never”.  Meaning you better make the move now. I’m not going to wait on your ass to make a move. If not, I’m moving on without you. -Cosmospolitan89

So youre saying some women participate in emotional games?  Get the fuck out of here with this insanity.

It’s my ex gf. I hate when she does this shit. Talking about offing herself for one reason or another. I can’t bring myself to ignore her or be an asshole because you never know when it’s for real or not. On top of that she’s a cutter. Got nasty wounds on her arms. Part of the reason we didn’t work out. She would keep doing that when things didn’t go her way or for whatever reason.  It’s mentally, emotionally, and physically draining -TommyTiptoes

The great thing about ignoring suicide threats is if they dont commit suicide, you get to be right, and if they do commit suicide, no one knows you were wrong.

I’m going to Virginia Beach in a few weeks.  Protips?  -BetItsButterIfYouDo

Pocohontas for Breakfast, Timbuktu for Dinner.  Hope you like Mini Golf and jet noises.

Why do so many people in america think they are entitled to so many thing? see a lot of people complaining bout they dont have this they dont have that. If they dont get a job they blame obama. They want a min pay of 15/hr. It seems like to no one wants to put in hardwork. May be thats just me idk. -BoJo4

In the USA, the size of the paycheck you get from your job indicates the amount of respect you are able to expect from the general public. If fast food workers began to get nice homes and fancy cars and pay for their kids to go to private school, then people would WANT to have fast food jobs. To keep up with that, the job you have would have to raise your wage, or else theyd be worried youd go hustle fries at Burger Shack. You can work hard and get paid $7.25/hr. You can be a lazy ass making $50k/year. Working hard doesnt necessarily equate to more money and you sound like an idiot doing so.

Sushi is unnecessarily expensive for little bits of uncooked fish and rice.  Total scam.  Even when you get a hot meal (say salmon teriyaki, which is what I usually go for), they give you a woefully small portion of salmon.  The only thing I like is miso soup. -BritaniaPrevials

Choosing the ingredients in sushi is so much more important because everything is served raw. The higher the quality in fresh meats, sauces, fruits and vegetables is of ultimate importance since so very little is being done to them before service. Saying nothing of the techniques possibly showcased inknife skills, rice making and nori rolling by a skilled experienced chef can be really noticed when nothing is being done to anything else. They have sushi available in the big grocery stores if you cant tell the difference. No sense in paying for it.

WOW DOUGIE HAMILTON TRADED TO THE FLAMES -Nepats81

Its ugly, yes. I mean, Hamilton wants like $10M a year, and the Bruins dont want to pay him that. I feel like Chiarelli was booted because he invested too much in his own draft picks at the expense of other talent. So Sweeney doesnt want to do that, by starting to invest heavily in Chiarellis young talent. I mean, this is awful. Theres no way around it. Okay, we have picks. Don Sweeney better turn them into fucking gold because right now our defense consists of an ailing olding Zdeno Chara and a half a dozen ice cream cones on fucking skates.  We wont see the playoffs until 2018, if were lucky. 

I’m not sure I want to live in a country where gay marriage is legalized.  -TAV0R

Im not sure I want to live in a world in which The Shaggy Dog has 2 stars, while Whos Harry Crumb? has 1.  So, we should totally get an apartment together somewhere.

The What’s What, Volume 1o4

WMC: I am now talking about Red Dead Redemption.  Ending and everything.  Just a heads up for the following question.

Can we talk spoilers, yet?  Are people really surprised about the ending of RDR?  The game was so heavy on his story about him trying to get back to a normal life and all that bullshit, I saw it coming a mile away. Not that I cared. Marston was a cock anyway.

I expected his families death as I watched them set up the end story. I thought the farm missions were to build character development so you cared about losing them when they were taken away. I also expected you to take Bonnie as your wife. It all seemed so set up.  So, when John fought his way into the barn to purposefully not fight his way out of it, I was a little shocked.  I did screw up the ending by activating Dead Eye seconds after the story does it for you.  The result of which leaves everyone pointing their guns at you for about FIFTEEN RETARDED SECONDS of the feeling like you’re standing there with your dick in your hand before they empty their weapons into you.

Now that I think about it, I like my ending better.  Family dies, John gets to marry Maid Bonnie who was written to be perfect for him.  The fact that they taught you how to ranch several times could get used to actually ranch some cattle with Bonnie, a cause to keep the sandbox alive, unlike now.  The HorseShoe pit and Poker Gazebo on the Marstons property could be used for HoreShoes and Poker instead of nothing, like it is now.  Don’t get me wrong, I very much enjoyed the game.  Maybe they thought people would be okay with losing John because they were going to get themselves immersed in the multi-player, which I could defend.  The ending seemed like it was changed late in production, is all I am saying.

Joker’s Social Experiment From The Ferry in The Dark Knight – What would YOUR City Do? -WaltWhiteshat

Convicts riot and flip the switch.  Citizens are too worried that the detonator blows their own ship.  One of them is sinking, that’s for damn sure.

The BoonDocks.  I hated this show at first mainly because I think Aaron McGruder is racist towards white people and elitist towards black and the first season really didn’t do much to make me like it. The 2nd season was definitely better but it still hadn’t won me over. This newest season though has been downright hilarious. I think the biggest reason why is because they stopped focusing so much on Huey and started writing stories based on other characters. Huey might just be my most disliked character (probably because he’s supposed to be a voice for McGruder). -shyguy5676

I totally agree with your assessment of character development and Huey.  It’s good to have a straight man in the act, but to grandstand a character that has all the answers and never fails is another.  To build that character around yourself while poking specific social commentaries and offering no solutions to the issues is another.  I also feel like the show used to be more about making fun of the stereotypes, and now it seems to be more like a show built around the stereotypes and shock value.  I’m still watching it.

On August 11, ESPNs Chris Mortensen tweeted “On the Mike & Kike Show now!” ROFL -phkb33

I got that exact same tweet and thought to myself “I hope they’re really good friends”.  Turns out he claimed it was a typo, which I believe.  It sucks when you’re an equalitist and say something stupid.

The term “spear-chucker” itself is quite ludicrous. I was under the assumption that spears are to be thrown. -Soleless

Offended black people should simply use the term “Javelinist” to describe white people, so the hate train can keep on chugging.  Choo-choo, bitches.

Of the 50 US States, how many have you been to/driven through? -blameradio

Over half. I live and visit all of New England, regularly. Drove Albany to Vegas and back, different ways. Drove Florida and back.  Hawaii for my honeymoon.  I’m really only missing the Northern Border with Wyoming from Michigan to Washington, and Alaska.  I think we missed Louisiana too, I’d like to go there.

yesterday my brother and roommate joined me for a trip to buffalo cantina in williamsburg, brooklyn. we had been looking for a good wing place in brooklyn for a minute, and saw it on the travel channel’s “man vs food”. he needed two attempts to complete the challenge: six “suicidal” wings in three minutes.  so thats what we did.  through my tears i could see my brother and roommate each only ate a bite of theirs and were both red faced, tears flowing, snot dripping, miserable. last night was hell. this morning wasn’t any better.  -misterwelshman

Yeah, I like spice and everything.  But there’s a fine line between enjoyment and pain, and that line for me is just a touch above habanero.  I no longer cross that threshhold, and rarely attempt anything close anymore.  Habanero is enough for me to enjoy about twice a year, and only for new foods or unfamiliar spice flavour profiles.

What do you think of the Jewish people? -TrenchMode

I had a negative attitude against them early in my life. But, then I saw the movie “School Ties” and it really set me straight.

Is Lebron James decision to play with D-Wade and Chris Bosh the fall of the NBA?  -ballin06

I think you’d have to blame the Celtics for bringing the Big Three together. If it wasn’t working there, it wouldn’t be attempted again this soon.  Lebron is just going with the tide. Superstars get drafted, make a bunch of money in ticket and jersey sales for the team, and if they don’t win a championship in that first x amount of years, they go to a place they have a better chance of doing it.  He came into the league from high school and signed a long term contract with the team he was drafted by. He needs to do more than Charles Barkley and Karl Malone because he is younger? From what I understand, that TV special had a lot to do with producing the negativity. That just my take. Are they going to win 3 out of the next 4 championships? Yes, yes they are. Is that bad for the NBA? We will see.

Is it legal to watch the cops arresting someone?  I mean being up close and personal so you can see and hear what’s going on. Or will the cops just tell you to Fuck off? Every time I see something like this me and whoever I’m with sort of hide in the distance and act like we’re not watching trying to find out what’s going on. Wanted to know if I could save some trouble and just walk up to them. -Otaku21

Walk up to them and watch. Don’t get too close, you don’t want them concerned about your safety or what you’re gonna do. If they say something to you, simply say “I’m a witness available for a statement if you need one.” Seriously. They’ll leave you the hell alone.

If atheists were right, shouldn’t they kill themselves? Because according to them, life has no purpose. -BobSon17

Shouldn’t theists be killing themselves to get to heaven faster?  Life IS the purpose. Atheists are working hard to build a legacy while others are walking on eggshells to avoid an angry God.  Theists are lucky to get a tombstone.

Magic or Bird? I say Magic. -007saradim

Bird was better in the clutch and was a waaaaaaaay better defender. Plus, Magic arguably had a lot more to work with.

NFL Predictions, Favorite team Predictions, Fantasy Predictions, Go! –

NFL – Vikings d Packers in NFC, Ravens d Jets in AFC, Vikings d Ravens in SuperBowl.  Favorite team – Patriots get 10 or 11 wins, Randy Moss causes trouble, Laurence Maroney puts up exciting numbers, passing defense a huge problem, win one playoff game.  Fantasy – Make playoffs in two out of three leagues, Participate in Super Bowl, CJ Spiller is a beast, Philip Rivers is a bust.

The What’s What, Volume 27

Thoughts on President Obama? – nihilist4567

Ignorance wakes up in extreme discomfort this morning and I, for one, welcome that.

Would you voluntarily have sex with 50% or more of women your age? -Linklots44

I’ll assume for the basis of argument that I’m single and everyone is STD free.  So, I think yes. I’ve always found plainness attractive.  My standards have always been set on a case by case basis of women that show a sexual/relationship interest in me.  And I always liked variety; body type, skin colour, disabilities (she was deaf).  Very few were rejected.

I saw Fast Times At Ridgemont High for the first time yesterday awesome movie though it would be more awesome if they gave Sean Penn’s character more screen time. -hotgoogunn

I particularly enjoyed the immediate dismissal of serious issues. “I’m gonna go grab a quick abortion in the time it would take to go bowling.” *wipes hands* “Okay, and on with the comedy!”

Have you done ANYTHING remotely notable in your life? -eaglent4242

Obviously, you mean besides this blog.  I wrote 2 novels, both were published and and failed miserably.  That’s about as close as I got.

Do you like cold or warm weather? I’m a cold weather type-of-guy personally. -Stahmchasah988

There is nothing like flannel pyjamas, a quilt, my wife, my dog and a fire.  I’m going with cold weather.

Protip: Don’t use soap as lubrication. What the hell was I thinking that one time -NavySailorX

Once a girl gave me a handy with soap while I was knuckle deep in her in the girls bathroom at church during sunday school.  We had to hurry so I just kind of wiped off, instead of rinsing.  It left this crusty painful film I had to peel off my junk.  Like when you were a kid and dried Elmers glue on your hand.  Only this was my junk, and it hurt.  Still worth the life experience of a knuckle-shuffle at church.  Growing pains, i believe they’re called.

I never understood why it is selfish of people to commit suicide. I don’t support suicide in anyway, and I think people are weak for doing it. How is it selfish? -TellyMundo05

Because its a permanent solution to a temporary problem.  One who commits suicide has their own gains in mind and pays no attention to the feelings of others.  It’s the ultimate act in the “Ill show them” arsenal.

why doesn’t my cat like her belly scratched? she always tries to bite my fingers -jumblemix19

Instincts. Usually when things go for an animals stomach its to disembowel them so they may eat them after a slow painful death.

Something I’ve always wondered about: Does anal intercourse promote constipation or diarrhea? – Spacesage

I suggest a professional opinion. You should call your Mom anyway, she misses you.

The What’s What, Volume 19

I really, really, really love prison rape jokes, and i don’t think they’re in poor taste at all hell, they’re probably 70% of the reason why i’m a law-abiding citizen, and i’m pretty sure lot of other people agree that they don’t want to go to prison and get married to lorenzo. that’s a deterrent and a half.  prison rape jokes keep this country together. -GoSpartans

I agree its probably the greatest deterrent to prison for American men.  But, it’s not funny when you think of how many innocent people are imprisoned into this situation every month.

In 1994, How did you feel when Kurt Cobain Died? – Cena_is_God

Shocked that so many people cared.  Girls in my class were crying like he sat next to them yesterday.  I always thought suicide victims should not be mourned, it was their choice.  If anyone I had close ties with committed suicide, I’d take it as a personal insult.  He decided his problems were worth more than your friendship.  It’s like a break-up, only instead of the dissolution of a relationship with eventual mutual benefits, theres a weak minded simpleton that takes himself too seriously and allows menial problems to outweigh permanent relationships as he forsakes them in one last act of insecurity, selfishness, and retardation.

I can’t stand (heheheh) other handicapped people even though I myself am handicapped. Is this wrong? I’d like to think it’s because I rarely let my disability get me down, so I don’t really think about it, thus I don’t view myself as one of them.  Fact is also, that I don’t have a single handicapped friend. -I_Shart_Huckabees

I know this handicapped guy and his attitude of “I can do anything anyone else can do” has become a problem, because he can’t do everything anyone else can do.  Sure, he wants to play games, but old people who want to play and can’t throw a frisbee that far, aren’t trying because they know its infringing on other peoples fun.  It sounds terrible to admit, but I can’t respect any person that can’t accept their own limitations, whatever their condition.

Have you ever had the urge to shave your wife’s rosebud? – LAMode

I can’t say Im all too familiar with that particular opening. That ones hers.  Im a simple guy. I’m pretty meat and potatoes sexually.  She can have all the privacy she wants back there.  So, no.  If she has a hair problem there, I’m blissfully unaware of the issue.

Why does the rest of the country hate Texas so much? -SutherrnBoay

I don’t hate Texas, but I was only there for about an hour, traveling the panhandle from Vegas to Albany.  I saw the moon rise in Texas and I actually thought it was a domed lighted building, because the landscape is so flat.

But, when I asked for a pack of Parliament Lights at the gas-station the single-toothed lady said “You’re a long way from Massachusetts, college boy!” Like she was better than me. I didn’t bother to argue I was a college dropout from Vegas at the time.  Apparently, Texas only has Marlboros and Camels.

I’m sure if I spent more time there, I’d learn to hate it as much as the rest of America.

my mother owes me money…..should i remind her or just let it go?  i picked up some stuff at the mall for her and she said she would pay me back…  about $50 worth of stuff….she said she would pay me the next day (this was about a week ago)  should i just let it go? or what? -JuggledNuts

Ask to borrow $50.

If she says yes, You have your money back, and when she asks for her money back, you can run with “I thought you were paying me back for that thing.”

If she says no nicely, just walk away going “No big deal, I wanted to do something and I’m $50 bucks short this week, for some reason.”

If she says no meanly, yell at her for being a deadbeat who can’t pay her son back $50 bucks.

What Team Should I Use in Tecmo Super Bowl?  Before you say “The Raiders”, I was for a few seasons and need a break from Bo Jacksons awesomeness. -TheDalyFlow

San Francisco has the only play that can’t be stopped.  If you choose the pass play with the tight end hooking in the middle of the linebackers, and the defense chooses that exact play, you can still complete the pass to Brent Jones.  Pick this play when you need a 1st down, watch the line, and if they blitz, hit the TE.  You gotta be quick, with 2 A buttons to choose Jones and a B to throw it to him.  But he catches it, every time.

My sister just had a miscarriage.  I was excited to be an uncle. -EastGundam

If it makes you feel any better, my dad used to tell me I was a stillborn baby.  “We didn’t want you, but you were still born,” he’d say, and laugh.  I hope shes safe and you get your chance to be an uncle.

You have to pick one drink and one food to last for the rest of your life. What will you choose? -EnglishFunnel

Gatorade and chinese food.  Please dont make me be more specific than that.

so i woke up and my brother is standing over me naked….. and he punched me in the arm 3 times.  he found out i used his mach3 to trim my pubes -HairyKrishna

You can’t trim with a Mach3, that’s called shaving.

Go to girls house with 2 good looking girls or not shower eat chips and stay here? Somewhat hard decision… -Chibbers

Go to their house and eat their chips.  This way you get to keep your chips.

The Whats What, Volume 6

That show Intervention on A&E is intense . . . . . . you can watch entire episodes online now . . . f’ing intense. -tearsforbeers

Do you know how this show works? They tell the Junkie that they are doing a documentary on drug abuse, they give him/her a bunch of money to get zooted for a week, and then they televise the most personal thing anyone ever has to go through on national TV.  Disgusting exploitation.  Makes me sick of the families that agree to this.

I just watched the video of Ed Dwyer shooting himself. I don’t understand why people willingly watch these things as entertainment. You’re putting a permanent impression on your psyche by doing so. -SSgohan31

Honestly, I think that I react better in emergency situations because I damaged my psyche as a child by watching Faces of Death. Im less in awe of the situation when it arises, leaving me a clear head to make quicker, reasoned decisions.

Whenever we get into a fight, not an arguement, we basicly stop talking to each other. We don’t yell or scream but we walk around the house like neither one of us exist. We don’t say goodnight, but we remain courtous in front of our son. We kiss each other goodbye and say, have a good day and all that, but when she gets home it’ll be back to the same thing, no talking, no how was your day, just she does her thing and I do mine. 

So here’s my question. Is this healthy? Everyone fights in a relationship, that normal. But should I, knowing that she isn’t going to resolve it till she’s ready, just give in and let it slide until we can talk about it later, or should I continue to stand my ground and make her admit that she’s wrong so we can have resoloutn the the problem once and for all? -DeePiddy

Play her game. Not a word, and you can’t let her see that it bothers you. Go out when you usually don’t without a word, come home hours later and sit down in a common area without eye contact. It sucks that you both dont have the same way of working out problems, but your method only makes things worse for her. So make her method worse for her. You are already doing it now, without it being your choice. Make it your choice, and then own your choice. You are now better at it then her. When shes ready to talk, you still need time. Make her options suck for her.

Why do you smoke weed? I’m not going to try to sit here and act like some elitist douche about it all, I just don’t understand it. A couple of my friends that have smoked can’t give me a definitive reason for why they do such a thing. -projectshadow21

Because I don’t like alcohol, and I find sobriety a mundane chore.

be honest: Have you ever pooped and NOT washed your hands after? -mishtahdeeze

 I have pooped outside before, so yes, I guess.  I washed my hands when I got home.  Whats the time alottment for washing traces of poop from your hands?  I’ve never had pink eye, anyway.

Were you kidding when you said there was a sex video of you on the itnerenet? –  hayzeedayzee

Me and my girlfriend were illegally taped in a motel having all sorts of weird sex play during a trip to her prom. It was on the internet for a few weeks before the guy was caught.  I took a settlement check and had to sign a bunch of papers.  It was out there, Im sure some poeple got it to their hard drive before it was removed.  I never called and told my ex-gf.

When does McDonald’s breakfast end around you? 10:30 or 11? -E11ios

6 hours later, in my toilet.