The What’s What, Volume 1o1

How dare you criticize the appearance of Kobe’s children.  They really aren’t ugly at all. They just have that poofy natural hair that black women normally have. You want them to start perming their hair at 5 years old so you can fap to them or something?  Give it a break seriously.  -007saradim

Listen up, you pig.  You’re the one bringing up sexual activity with a toddler.  It’s not my fault your parents didn’t teach you to distinguish beauty from sexuality.  I bet you are one of those assholes who get insulted instead of proud when someone remarks that you have a pretty girlfriend.  Don’t get mad at the rest of us because your upbringing balks at the sight of a  breathtaking sunset on the beach and forces you to think “I’m gonna stick my dick in that.”  Get the fuck out of here with that junk.

Been watching the new Futurama? -420Pharmah

The new season is better than the movies, not as great as the old stuff.  I laugh a few times an episode, still worth watching for me.

FACT: there is nothing better for traffic jams than smoking weed -GoBadgersUW

While traffic jams are coupled outrageous frustration and mind-numbing boredom, both of which weed immediately cures in seconds, I am not sure I’m comfortable advocating this remedy.  Can’t we just take a couple deep breaths and turn on the radio?  No?  Okay, well, just don’t hurt anybody.

$50k Salary not working, or $150k Salary as a Doctor or other realistic profession?  Personally, I’d rather be the Doc earning my bank. $50k is just too average imo even if I do get to sit around doing nothing. -MisterMaster

I’d take the 50K and call myself a professional Geocacher.   If I started a hobby carving granite/marble figurines by hand or breeding tropical fish or some shit, could I profit from their sale, still?  I can still have hobbies, right?  Or, are you literally paying me to do nothing?  I mean if you are paying me to do nothing for 8 hours every weekeday, that’s one thing.  But I’d rather keep the situation as it is now then do nothing forever.

Bristol Palin, Levi Johnston say they’re engaged.  LOL -PelleeCee

You should read the article.  It’s like a public finger wagging at Levi.  Has there ever been a mentally balanced couple in history to make plans to get marriage counseling before getting married?  In fact, thrice divorced rednecks on the verge of the fourth marriage have a bad feeling about this. What a spectacular failure they have become. At first I thought the Palins’ were trying to fill the void of being the right-wing Kennedy’s.  Now it just seems like they’re trying too hard.

Have you seen Hot Tub Time Machine yet? -jdkeggerstein

In Blu-Ray.  Damn right.  Which is funny because we made fun of the fact that there are no big budget special effects, and then the return to the future brought in some serious CGI and I turned to by buddy with a thumbs up and said “Blu-Ray!” excitedly. Although, something happened over half way through that made me pause.  When Darryl from “The Office” sang “Let’s Get it Started” instead of “Let’s Get Retarded”, I felt the comedy writers lost a little credibility.  You’re telling me that a movie that included Rob Courdry wiping cum off his fame and eating it is telling me that it’s delicate sensibilities end at offending the mentally challenged?   I’m not saying that I stopped finding the movie funny at that point and everything that I laughed at previously was considered moot or anything, the movie was still funny. Worth watching for me, no question. I just thought to myself “Oh, these offensive comedy writers are pretentious self-righteous hypocrites. That’s rare.”

As a Red Sox fan, you celebrating George Steinbrenners death? -tyka28

Not at all.  I have heard Red Sox fans relay positive stories about “The Boss” while he was still alive.  I did have him on my death pool list, so that was worth celebrating, but not his death.  I will admit when I heard the news of his death, I said aloud “Further developing information on this story, ESPN has learned that George Steinbrenner fired his bed-side nurse of 10 years, less than 24 hours ago.” which made me laugh for a bit.  But I’m not happy he’s dead.

The “All-Star Game” should be scrapped in every sport  NFL – Pro Bowl is changed to week BEFORE the superbowl means those players don’t play…not that half of them didn’t drop out from playing anyways  NHL – No hitting, little defense gives us some 6-9 game debackle  NBA – Bunch of ball hogging number 1s jacking up shots and the only scoring they attempt more than on the court comes after the game at the strip club
MLB – Give an exhibition game meaning is fail.   Not to mention there’s so many pitchers that each only throws 2/3rd of an inning. Nice rythem
Just get rid of these. If you want to do some all star roster and take a team photo that’s fine, but actual games? Meh…do not want  -MoeMunney66

I completely agree, but want 2 or 3 days of skills competitions. I’m not even kidding, like full weekend Olympics of individual skills. Also, I want Celebrity Pro/Am games for charity. I’d make All-Stars do the jobs of the equipment managers, vendors, and announcers and follow them around with a camera crew. Of course, there would be a video game competition between All-Stars.  If they had poker and shuffleboard tournaments, I’d watch.

True or False: There’s a logical explination for everything -empty-medium

Oh, the religion guy.  Any example you can bring up to bring consideration to false is then immediately credited to either Jesus, God or Allah. That’s the great part though, you get to choose whom to give credit for. Bonus points if its the one your parents think.

Mel Gibson tapes: Great recording or GREATEST recording? –Muckrow70

While never a good idea to threaten someone, she obviously riled him all up, hung up on him, and taped his reaction while calling back. She spoke all cool and collected and let him hang himself, just pushing buttons.  “Oh I don’t want your money anymore, I’m just worried for my daughters life!” Then, when she started to get heated the tape ended, what great timing for her.  She is a bitch. But, yeah, he’s bat-crap insane. I don’t really care, everything but Braveheart sucks. But she’s obviously a manipulative bitch, so his claims are pretty jsutified in my eyes. I bet she is, in fact, a gold digging ungrateful dick target.  Though, I really enjoyed the “What?!……. WHAT!?!?!??” parts.  In conclusion, they both suck and I don’t care about either of their welfares, just the prospect of more crazy recordings.

The What’s What, Volume 1oo

I live on the gulf coast and I have some investment capital.  You consider yourself smart, any ideas to capitalize? -Roarseed

I’m omitting purchasing stock in BP.  Sure, its at its lowest and will go back up, but let’s say you have a conscience.  Also, I’m going to forgo any idea revolving around capitalizing on desperation, ignorance, and fear.  Granted, there is A LOT of opportunity if you have no scruples about screwing your neighbor who’s already broke, but I’d rather not advocate them.  Boil it all down, I come up with a half dozen ideas.  The one I think would make the most profit is investing in Freshwater Sportfishing.  Right? Marine Sportfishing is a billion dollar a year industry.  All these people will have to find new hobbies. Changing your hobby from saltwater to freshwater fishing doesn’t take a lot of knowhow adjustment, but it will cost uber dollars. Lures/Bait, poles and especially, boats are very different. Hell, even the line is different.  That’s what I got.  Good Luck with your life down there.

what will people think of Derek Fisher in 10 years? one of the best ever or just in the right place at the right time? most people thought kobe couldn’t win a ring without shaq, i think he can’t win one without d fish -kid_chilly

An astounding number of people I hear talk about Derek Fisher didn’t like him until they hear about his daughter, and then they don’t talk about how much they hate his personality anymore and instead talk about his daughter.  Right now, I think he’s an asshole who exploits his daughters condition for America’s good graces. 10 years? I’m not sure.  Hit me back in 10 years.

Your stance on abortion? -g4m3rg1rl

I can’t believe it’s taken 100 updates and three years for this question to make an appearance.  Weird.  Men have a habit of leaving pregnant women instead of manning up, so women should be allowed to have abortions. Personally, I’m disgusted by women who weigh it as an option while rationalizing having unprotected sex, which happens a lot more than we’d like to admit.  Ultimately, it’s a woman choice, and I feel like only women should have the right to vote on this issue.  The globe can’t afford more unwanted people in the resource sink.  Its voluntary population control, so bring that on in full effect.  I find it hypocritical when people don’t want abortions, but then don’t want to support the social programs to give the baby a fair shot at a decent life.

Did you get a chance to play the new Super Mario Wii?  Reaction?  -Glocktypus

Awesome and challenging when playing alone. Frustrating and a disaster when playing with friends.

Diane Lane is the hottest cougar on planet, currently.  All other opinions are currently invalid.  -EcklesBee3

Something about her trusted roles as strong mothers that always put her in weird territory with me. Also, her spot on Boston accent might have something to do with it. I’m sure others have a celebrity that they recognize the physical attractiveness of and just don’t have a sexual urge to plant. Like resembles a sister or ex that you hate or something.

Kobe Bryant has some of the ugliest children ever. -lezzeeneeus

They are remarkably ugly. I said the same thing when I saw those things on his lap, as anyone in the room with me at the time can attest.   They look like trolls.  Not mythical trolls, but actual “Trolls” those pencil toppers from the 80s.  It’s a good thing they’re rich.

I kind of hope a solar flare destroys a bunch of satellites.  I’d love to watch people’s reactions when their GPS doesn’t work, their cell phone can’t make calls, and when they can’t dick around on apps all day. -Corrosieve

I geocache, so the GPS would completely disassemble my favorite hobby. But, it would allow everything to start over from scratch and I bet there would be a lot of improvements.  Would I take the destruction on my hobby for a year or so if it made things better?  That’s a tough one.

This dude in the stall next to me had no brotiquette.  I’m trying to take a piss, and he’s trying to discuss the decor of the restroom with me. Dude, you do not talk to the guy next to you in the bathroom. -WhoresShoeChamp

The decor? Thats an offense of brotiquette as it stands. What the hell could have possibly been so amazing about that bathroom that he started talking to you?  I mean, if he asks you for the time or if you know a local sports score, that’s one thing.  But wall treatments and shit?  You should have peed on his shoes.