My fat ass sister ate my Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Ice Cream. Half of the can was left yesterday night. Today I wake up and the can is in the trash empty. Bitch. -iPhony
Act like you are just noticing when she is in the kitchen. Open the freezer, poke around and yell “Alright who ate MY cookie dough…” Stop here, look at your sister and say, “Oh, you did; I can tell by the 18 ounces of cream and sugar visible in your thighs.”
Does anybody really ask a girl to be their girlfriend? It just happens with me. -StraightFighter3
I did. I’d say “So, what? Are we at that point where I get to make fun of you, and give you a nickname like “Muffin-Ass”, and have to stand up for you when other people are making fun of you? Or are you still shopping around? No big deal, I just like to know where I am at.” I gave a version of that speech to 10 different girls and each one thought it was endearing and charming.
i started work at summer camp today. it was a good day, lots of memories from years past, and lots of fun times today. We had a game called “deetz”, where you punch people in the nuts. It’s funny when you aren’t getting hit. We couldn’t last 1 day without someone getting deetz’d. -assandphyre
Sweet! A reason to touch 10 year old boys in their groin, have fun in Chris Hanson’s chair.
Hot Pockets take 30 minutes to cook in the oven Does this seem like BS to you? WTF? Are they trying to pass it off as filet mignon? – Theeter
3:15 in the micro with that pseudo-foil sleeve is the best way I’ve found. I like the crust softer though. In 30 minutes I could cook real food.
Everything that ever had a beginning had a cause for its creation. So can you please tell me how the universe came to be without a cause? I just want an honest answer. Thanks -SliteofMan
The contraction into itself of the previous universe caused a massive explosion, the Big Bang. Also, this is not a good debate starter, the Atheist gets to ask “What created God then?”
With inconsistent QBs, below average RBs, and only one decent WR (from what we’ve seen from him,) do they lack an offense? -EMailaddress
Unless they put in 10 lineman and Devin Hester, they do NOT have an offense.
Do you shave or trim your armpits? I’m debating on whether or not I should shave them or just trim ’em.
What do you do? -FreakoBellic
I trim them. More often in the summer.
Kids is the most useless movie I’ve ever seen, horrible. -3dbuck
There was a lot of bad acting, thats for sure. And I don’t care about my friends drama, I don’t know why anyone thought I should care about these peoples manufactured nonsense.
Rate my DVD haul from the $5 bin at Wal-Mart/10; Clerks 2, Joe Dirt, School of Rock, South Park Movie, Fight Club. -Haddagootodd
I’m gonna go with 8/10. School of Rock is a kids movie, and Fight Club is a bit overrated. I instinctively find myself distrustful towards soap-makers because of that movie.
Do you drink at all? If so, how often? -SecretAsianMan
I exclusively drink whiskey, rather rarely. Maybe, three drinks in one sitting a month. I haven’t been drunk since college, like 10 years ago.
The Whimsical MetaCognitionist Chronicles 