The What’s What, Volume 1oo

I live on the gulf coast and I have some investment capital.  You consider yourself smart, any ideas to capitalize? -Roarseed

I’m omitting purchasing stock in BP.  Sure, its at its lowest and will go back up, but let’s say you have a conscience.  Also, I’m going to forgo any idea revolving around capitalizing on desperation, ignorance, and fear.  Granted, there is A LOT of opportunity if you have no scruples about screwing your neighbor who’s already broke, but I’d rather not advocate them.  Boil it all down, I come up with a half dozen ideas.  The one I think would make the most profit is investing in Freshwater Sportfishing.  Right? Marine Sportfishing is a billion dollar a year industry.  All these people will have to find new hobbies. Changing your hobby from saltwater to freshwater fishing doesn’t take a lot of knowhow adjustment, but it will cost uber dollars. Lures/Bait, poles and especially, boats are very different. Hell, even the line is different.  That’s what I got.  Good Luck with your life down there.

what will people think of Derek Fisher in 10 years? one of the best ever or just in the right place at the right time? most people thought kobe couldn’t win a ring without shaq, i think he can’t win one without d fish -kid_chilly

An astounding number of people I hear talk about Derek Fisher didn’t like him until they hear about his daughter, and then they don’t talk about how much they hate his personality anymore and instead talk about his daughter.  Right now, I think he’s an asshole who exploits his daughters condition for America’s good graces. 10 years? I’m not sure.  Hit me back in 10 years.

Your stance on abortion? -g4m3rg1rl

I can’t believe it’s taken 100 updates and three years for this question to make an appearance.  Weird.  Men have a habit of leaving pregnant women instead of manning up, so women should be allowed to have abortions. Personally, I’m disgusted by women who weigh it as an option while rationalizing having unprotected sex, which happens a lot more than we’d like to admit.  Ultimately, it’s a woman choice, and I feel like only women should have the right to vote on this issue.  The globe can’t afford more unwanted people in the resource sink.  Its voluntary population control, so bring that on in full effect.  I find it hypocritical when people don’t want abortions, but then don’t want to support the social programs to give the baby a fair shot at a decent life.

Did you get a chance to play the new Super Mario Wii?  Reaction?  -Glocktypus

Awesome and challenging when playing alone. Frustrating and a disaster when playing with friends.

Diane Lane is the hottest cougar on planet, currently.  All other opinions are currently invalid.  -EcklesBee3

Something about her trusted roles as strong mothers that always put her in weird territory with me. Also, her spot on Boston accent might have something to do with it. I’m sure others have a celebrity that they recognize the physical attractiveness of and just don’t have a sexual urge to plant. Like resembles a sister or ex that you hate or something.

Kobe Bryant has some of the ugliest children ever. -lezzeeneeus

They are remarkably ugly. I said the same thing when I saw those things on his lap, as anyone in the room with me at the time can attest.   They look like trolls.  Not mythical trolls, but actual “Trolls” those pencil toppers from the 80s.  It’s a good thing they’re rich.

I kind of hope a solar flare destroys a bunch of satellites.  I’d love to watch people’s reactions when their GPS doesn’t work, their cell phone can’t make calls, and when they can’t dick around on apps all day. -Corrosieve

I geocache, so the GPS would completely disassemble my favorite hobby. But, it would allow everything to start over from scratch and I bet there would be a lot of improvements.  Would I take the destruction on my hobby for a year or so if it made things better?  That’s a tough one.

This dude in the stall next to me had no brotiquette.  I’m trying to take a piss, and he’s trying to discuss the decor of the restroom with me. Dude, you do not talk to the guy next to you in the bathroom. -WhoresShoeChamp

The decor? Thats an offense of brotiquette as it stands. What the hell could have possibly been so amazing about that bathroom that he started talking to you?  I mean, if he asks you for the time or if you know a local sports score, that’s one thing.  But wall treatments and shit?  You should have peed on his shoes.

The What’s What, Volume 58

Breaking news; Michael Jackson in death coma. Thoughts?  -ASteiner31

Michael Jackson, woah. – Animedia

So, the King of Pop is dead.  You one of the caring? -copydude11

I can’t care for people I never met.  Sure, his music was great, but it’s not like he died in his prime and we’re missing out on years of upcoming hit singles and critically acclaimed albums.

What really got me caring about anything related to this is the fake mea culpa of Jordan/Evan Chandler that people are passing around as fact.  One guy writes a fake news piece about a molested child admitting the charges were lies, and everyone who can uses it as means of fact, blindly. I realize that someones heart is in the place of wanting to do anything to get the person they care about most the respect they feel the deceased deserves.  But can you imagine if you were raped and 10 years later someone writes a false confession for you? I ‘ve been accused of things I didn’t do, but still I can’t even come close to imagine what this kid is feeling. Not cool, Jacko sympathizer.

What team do you think has the coolest logo in sports? I’m not much of a hockey fan but I think the Minnesota Wild logo is pretty badass. -glidingprimate

Either the Amsterdam Admirals from NFL Europe or the throwback Boston Bruins logo with the bear in the forest, and the ungodly brown and orange striped uniforms.

Who Is Your Favourite Ghostbuster? -<3ALevin<3

Ill go Stantz. He was as smart as Egon and could be as funny as Venkman. Plus he developed most of the gadgets, and got a blow job from a ghost.

what if barbara boxer called the general the wrong rank? How would he have reacted? -akotohealth

I like how you get to address her as “Barbara”. He didn’t call her “Congresswoman”, he called her “maam.” The same thing she was calling Condoleeza Rice during testimony, I’m told.  I bet if she called him “Sir” he wouldnt have responded like a douche.   I’m with the Conservatives on this one.  If someone claims to have earned respect and a a title through hard work, I tell them it should be no problem to work a little harder for my respect.  Respect is earned, not entitled.

How about that Oklahoma girl who killed and skinned her puppy, and made a belt to get back at the girl who gave her the dog? –MKennedy

Just think of the ownage that would have been when the ex-girlfriend saw her in a store somewhere.
“Hey Alexa, sorry about leaving you, hows Fido?”
“Hes great at keeping my pants up, bitch.” *Lifts up shirt to show jack russel belt with owners tag buckle.*

What does reputation mean to you?  To me? Nothing, because of the music I and my friends like we are hated.
But hey, who cares? Reputation is determined on what a certain amount of people think about you. Its not Important, never care what people think about you. If they like you or hate you, who cares? Never let somebody else judge you. -Illinoid

Good luck trying to stop people from judging you.  Reputation is important because it goes farther than you do. People you have never met that could benefit or hurt your situation in life are judging you right now based on your reputation.   Doesn’t make it right, but it happens. Ever heard the phrase “Your reputation preceeds you.”? It’s because it does.  And whether you like to believe otherwise, peoples opinion of you matters a great deal. Telling people that it doesn’t matter what they think is only hurting you.

Thats crazy that Pennsylvania has 3 of the 4 major North American Championships, and 2 of them are in one city. -IdreamofJeanie

So then, it’s even way crazier to realize that The Red Sox, Celtics and Patriots all had championship at the same time 2 years ago, and they ARE from the same city!  Or is it only cool because its Pennsylvania?

How come anyone who’s been murdered is suddenly considered a good, decent person? you ever wonder about that? Every murder victim “brightens up the room, and was everyone’s friend”. It’s just weird, you know? -PhoenixRight

Its because they don’t put murdered assholes on the news.

Have you ever got pussy so good that you just don’t ever bother jerking off? i had some on monday…and me being a daily masturbator, haven’t even touched my penors in 4 days….i just deleted porn off my computer as well…could this be the end of a chronic masturbator? -IllbeBuck

Yes, I have. But it turns out other people were enjoying it also. And that’s how that goes.

I just found out that my Dad wanted me to be aborted… -OfficerFoster

I would be bringing that up in every situation, good or bad.  If I mess up it’s “Man, if only I was a bloody pool in the pan like you wanted, right Dad?”  If I do something nice it “A coathanger with a fetus attached couldn’t have done much better.. right pops?”

Have you ever looked at gay porn? -Girugamesh

Yeah, I watched a gay porn with some girls in college. I was hoping it would prove my openness while getting them all riled up and want to throw down, but they laughed it off and we went back to smoking weed and playing Scattergories like nothing happened.

All the dog lovers I’ve ever met hate small dogs. You are the only person I’ve ever seen to feel small dogs are superior. -FunnyJello

I think it’s an asshole move when you have a big dog and a small yard. I have a small yard, so I got a small dog.   Also, when people cant control their giant dogs when company comes, its a pretty big let down. It’s cool that you love your dog jumping and slobbering on you. But don’t subject your guests to that.  If my little dog jumps at you, he comes up to your knees.  Not really a big deal.

If the Ghostbusters game were not Ghostbusters licensed, it would be considered a bad game. Im enjoying it enough, but its a very ‘static’ feeling game.   I could see an expanded upon sequel being a great game, but this current game is a skeleton of a better game. -Mybandiscool

If it wasn’t licensed, it would have nothing to do with the GhostBusters. It would be called “Urban Apparition Hunter” and wouldn’t have any of the familiar characters, weapons, or plot that the original movie had.   But I agree with you, the game has an antiquated unprofessional feeling to it. It’s the nostalgia, plot and relatively fun combat that allows me to feel like I didn’t waste my money.

I once called my Grandfather by his real name, boy did he get mad. He said “What the hell did you just say, boy? You call me Papaw. Im not your drinking buddy, you stupid kid.” -RoyWi11liams

“I guess I was hoping we were buddies, too. I won’t make that mistake again, don’t worry about it, Grandfather.” Every time following that incident my grandfather would call me by my name I would say “What did you just call me? You call me “Sonny”. We’re not drinking buddies, old man.”

You can call my stories B.S. But I have done this before. When people tell me how hard they worked to receive the title “Doctor”, so they deserve respect. I tell them “You’ll have to work just a little harder to earn it from me.” I find someone demanding respect from people about the most disrespectful thing you can do.

Governor Marc Sanford, lol.  Did you see how Faux News had him as a Democrat in his press conference? -MissinChrisFarley

Seems like a bad idea for Fox to do that.  Now their viewers will deride him instead of supporting him like they would if they knew he was a Republican.  Either way something is fishy, his wife has known for 5 months, but yet he still goes to Argentina?  It sounds to me like hes made his choice.  Family values be damned, Republican, go get you some.

The most powerful superhero that no one ever talks about is probably Cap’n Crunch. And I mean in the literal sense that no one on ever talks about him on the lsit of superheroes.  You can bring up some superheroes that are very rarely brought up, but they are talked about more than Cap’n Crunch.  Sog out. -MainScreech

Keeping cookies crunchy in milk isn’t really a super power with broad usage.   I mean, it’s unlikely to save anyones life.

My Mom just got in a verbal fight with the cashier at 7-11. She is really scared of germs and when you buy a drink at 7-11 they always wrap their fingers around the top, where you have to put your mouth. This time she just put the bar code of the drink under the scanner, and the guy is like “this is mine, not yours” (he was talking about the scanner). Then she explained to him that he does not own 7-11, and he did not buy the scanner so he doesn’t own the scanner. Then she said if he owned 7-11, he would not be standing behind a counter for 8 hours a day,scanning her drink.

She couldn’t have explained her reasoning instead of being a total asshole?

The What’s What, Volume 39

Whats the most unique way you’ve killed a bug/pest in your home? -Metsfan43

I emptied a can of Aquanet on a spider and his web in my basement when I was a kid. The thing was frozen in time, the web became stiff  and remained there for almost a year, probably.

Ever gone mushroom hunting? -Edgyset717

Only on the golf course with a 5-iron in my hand.  Its crazy satisfying to have them explode into spongy pellets and fluffy mist.

My supervisor just texted me “Your an idiot”. The need for ownage is fighting with my need for a job.. What the hell should I do? -Buildinset

*Reply* Idiots don’t know the difference between you’re and your.  I’m more of a moron. *Send*

ever smoke resin? JonathanLockes

We make “truffles”. Little one-hitter balls of sticky resin, rolled through the shake and keef of the last bag.  Gives you the quick familiar high of shake dust, and the long slow head fuck of resin.

Copying Music is not stealing, it would be like copying a car – MicksedMedia

What if you overhear the music in your friends car? What if you borrow your friends cd? It’s such a slippery slope and full of bad logic from both sides.  If the music companies had their way, you wouldn’t be able to listen to it without paying.  They’re as phony as the artists who claim when they start playing that its all about the music and bringing enjoyment to other people and then take a check and start asking “Where’s mine?”

would you bid $1 over someone else in price is right? AlnTedBundy

My one time chance to play Plinko? The grandmother next to me should bet the correct price on those golf clubs, cause I am all over that dollar.

If you could decide the setlist a band would play at a live show, what would it be? -MLSOK1

The London Symphony Orchestra and then I’d make them play my favorite pop/rock/rap and video game songs, ending with the Presto from Vivaldis “Spring”.

Dr. Cox > House. -Charcoalsands

Neither show is funny. The problem is that Scrubs is TRYING to be a comedy. House by 12 lengths.

Would you give up your right to vote forever for 5,000 dollars? -TilledDeath

National elections, yes. Local elections, no.

Could you date a worker at a fast food restaurant? This girl at the Chic-Fil-A at the mall is gorgeous. Look like if you were to combine Julia Roberts with Sarah Silverman. -MrLemon

If you can’t, then you are a shallow person who’s going to miss out on good women.

So, some girl where I work is pregnant. (she’s 17) Luckily she’s acting responsible about it and not getting an abortion, so I respect her for that. -11Ghosts

I’m glad you agree with her decision. It’s great that shes “responsible” only because her choices have your approval.  The process will be so much easier for her now that she has your respect.

Dealing with someone who is stoned is worse than dealing with a drunk.-FluffPunk

The rate that I get randomly punched in the face by drunks far exceeds that of stoned people.

Us Asians are the only people that still get made fun of right to their faces.  -HooktonFonix

You no rikey? Oooooooh, a thousand pahdons!

How many Canadian cities do you know? ManiToby

I know the ones that ever owned NHL teams, the capitals of the provinces, and maybe a handful of others.

If Your girlfriend got raped, would it change your perspective of her? I know saying “no, of course not” is the intuitive reaction because of how terrible the other answer is, but honestly, I don’t think that anyone can say no completely. I mean, you would be horrible to leave her for such a thing, but to not be affected is not possible.  I think most people wouldn’t be able to look at them the same again.

To my knowledge I had never been in this situation. I’d like to think I’d act nobly. Depends on alot of things. If she was drunk and made really bad decisions about where to sleep and how much to drink or who to trust, there would be alot more resentment towards her than some guy who breaks into her dorm, threatens her life, and beats her ass to shut up.  With some luck, Ill continue never having to know.

The What’s What, Volume 27

Thoughts on President Obama? – nihilist4567

Ignorance wakes up in extreme discomfort this morning and I, for one, welcome that.

Would you voluntarily have sex with 50% or more of women your age? -Linklots44

I’ll assume for the basis of argument that I’m single and everyone is STD free.  So, I think yes. I’ve always found plainness attractive.  My standards have always been set on a case by case basis of women that show a sexual/relationship interest in me.  And I always liked variety; body type, skin colour, disabilities (she was deaf).  Very few were rejected.

I saw Fast Times At Ridgemont High for the first time yesterday awesome movie though it would be more awesome if they gave Sean Penn’s character more screen time. -hotgoogunn

I particularly enjoyed the immediate dismissal of serious issues. “I’m gonna go grab a quick abortion in the time it would take to go bowling.” *wipes hands* “Okay, and on with the comedy!”

Have you done ANYTHING remotely notable in your life? -eaglent4242

Obviously, you mean besides this blog.  I wrote 2 novels, both were published and and failed miserably.  That’s about as close as I got.

Do you like cold or warm weather? I’m a cold weather type-of-guy personally. -Stahmchasah988

There is nothing like flannel pyjamas, a quilt, my wife, my dog and a fire.  I’m going with cold weather.

Protip: Don’t use soap as lubrication. What the hell was I thinking that one time -NavySailorX

Once a girl gave me a handy with soap while I was knuckle deep in her in the girls bathroom at church during sunday school.  We had to hurry so I just kind of wiped off, instead of rinsing.  It left this crusty painful film I had to peel off my junk.  Like when you were a kid and dried Elmers glue on your hand.  Only this was my junk, and it hurt.  Still worth the life experience of a knuckle-shuffle at church.  Growing pains, i believe they’re called.

I never understood why it is selfish of people to commit suicide. I don’t support suicide in anyway, and I think people are weak for doing it. How is it selfish? -TellyMundo05

Because its a permanent solution to a temporary problem.  One who commits suicide has their own gains in mind and pays no attention to the feelings of others.  It’s the ultimate act in the “Ill show them” arsenal.

why doesn’t my cat like her belly scratched? she always tries to bite my fingers -jumblemix19

Instincts. Usually when things go for an animals stomach its to disembowel them so they may eat them after a slow painful death.

Something I’ve always wondered about: Does anal intercourse promote constipation or diarrhea? – Spacesage

I suggest a professional opinion. You should call your Mom anyway, she misses you.