The What’s What, Volume 120

Sorry about that last eyesore last month.  My computer broke and I had to use a formatting system I was not familiar with for WW 119.  New computer, back to normal.  Thanks for reading.

Back to collapsing, hey Red Sox fan?  The Yankees really rubbed shit in that open wound for you. -BroncksBombaz

First of all, I don’t get the strategy. Why let the hottest team in August (Rays) have a dramatic, emotional, playoff clinching win over you? Doesnt that worry you? You are feeding an awesomely hot team emotion the day before the postseason.  Why don’t you want the Red Sox in the playoffs?  They wouldnt have made it out of the first round.  I’m not sure you want to be playing the Rays again next week after they run through Texas.  Secondly, I wasn’t even all that upset.  It was more shock of the amazing baseball drama of what 10 runs over 2 games in a ten minute span can bring.    Seriously.  Im very grateful for the recent success of Boston that makes this moment of failure recognition nostalgic.  Just a riveting hour of baseball drama last night. On to cheering for underdogs, I still love baseball.  Let someone else have a parade.  Cool by me.

Which is more fun to cut? Vegetables vs Meat -Animadopt13

Cucumbers, zuchini and bell peppers are the funnest thing you can practice knife skills on.  Also, whenever Im butchering against the grain, I couldn’t help but get occasional visions of the animal still fuzzy and cute as I was cutting through something that would be pretty painful if it were still alive.   Their deliciousness rationalized away those thoughts pretty quick, though.  And the fact he wouldnt have a life at all if it wasnt for human consumption.

If you’re turned off by girls with tattoos or multiple piercings or ones that smoke, you need help.  They’re the hottest.  -BuoyWonder11

They aren’t necessarily a turn on either.  But I wouldn’t let any get in the way of caring about someone or being interested in someone.

So I’m dating a girl with Genital Herpes, What would be some good things to know or good reading material about the subject? -Crunx1056

She’s made haphazard decisions regarding access to her vagina in the past.  You will find it difficult to feel special in any way.  Don’t get genital herpes from her.

Dammit, I’m home alone, and there’s a big storm coming. -JustaStageName

The way you worded that makes you seem like youd be safe if Mommy was home to protect you, or something.

If Chipotle served Breakfast Burritos, would you buy them?-ChrisKamanMyMouth

Havent been lucky enough to have Chipotle yet.   But I love me some breakfast.  I would try one, for sure.

oh the joy of English weather-mastermonin

I was disappointed when I spent a week in London and it didnt rain once.  I never found DangerMouse, either. It was quite a disappointing trip.  It’s ironic that I essentially said: Nice weather + No rodents = Bad Vacation, but thats what happened.

What did you think of the Entourage finale? Felt like the show had run it’s course, but finales always make me sad. Heard a movie is def. in the works…but also heard unconfirmed rumors of a Ari Gold spinoff based on the finale scenes,  hear anything about that?-FoleyIsGod92

Terrible. The series started with movie politics and hollywood insider information, and ended up with three relationship angles like a dog-damned soap opera and everything wrapped up in a pretty bow just in time.  Eric and Sloans relationship is okay, apparently, because everyone lied to her face about E sleeping with her stepmother. Awesome closure, writers. I’m sure that relationship will last forever.

Is the title “Barista” really necessary?  You make coffee, motherfucker. STFU and go get me some.  They’re not any better than fast food workers. -InfernalMachine

Are any titles really necessary, though?  Maybe Doctor and Officer, that’s about it.

Do you believe that things happen for a reason? -CatPunchOneTwo

I believe that effects have causes, but in the religious/cosmic/supernatural sense I feel like you actually mean, no.

When you see a commersial and then buy the product, do you think that you’re responsible for your own decision or have you been so affected by the commersial that it’s not your fault that you bought the product?  As you probably understand, this was just an example, but this example can be used on MANY things.  Are we always responsible for our own actions or can we shift responsibility to media, marketing and other people who affects us daily? -ArkyLoLogist

Of course. People made the decision to buy the product based on the information presented in the commercial.  The commercial didnt choose anything. If it did, there would be no need for commercials.

Why do we care so much about seeing the console itself? As if the shape and size and color of the thing will somehow make it that much better or worse. -chaunni

I’ve never really cared about console design though. As long as the disc fits and isnt too loud, fine by me. Sure, lights and sleek design are nice and all, but I’d rather have a cardboard box that works over purrdyness.

Since when is it not okay to be a fan of players instead of teams???? Isn’t it the players that draw you to the teams, hell even the sport itself. ESPECIALLY when you live NOWHERE near any market of ANY team in ANY sport like I do… -BragginSlayer

Always, it’s always been uncool. Investing in a team should come with lows and highs, but you support them regardless.   Teams are about community, athletes are about themselves.  Very few people follow Darko Mlicic.  Millions follow the Warriors.  It’s for a sad person who knows nothing of loyalty, and everything about investing in a person who doesnt know you exist. 

What would happen if NBA players had to call their own fouls like in pick-up? In pick-up ball people get majorly looked down upon if they call too many of their own fouls and there tends to be a general agreement when a foul was actually made. Maybe you can have 1 ref on a monitor to settle disputes kind of as an arbitrator. Do you think NBA would be able to hold each other accountable for BS flops, or would they abuse the system?  INTERESTING TO PONDER NO? -anders115

Nope, not buying it.  When there’s hundreds of millions of dollars at stake, you better believe the situation would be a complete disaster.

The What’s What, Volume 79

What’s the most common cause of negativity in your life?  A person?  An event?  Work?  -goodlucky7

Hands down, when my basement floods.  It’s just so disappointing to know that your next twelve hours will be spent in some shorts, making sure the electronics are off the ground, canceling any plans I might have had and sweating my ass off lifting 20 gallon tubs for the indefinite future.   I assure you, it’s the momentum equivalent of getting fisted by the Incredible Hulk when he just finished shopping for habanero peppers.

I give up. Internet Explorer I tried, I really did but I just can’t put up with you any longer. I’m moving on, downloading Firefox as we speak but before I add my my bookmarks should I investigate Opera or Chrome? -tradingfaces

You give up, now? You’re the WWII equivalent of the Japanese guys all bunkered into some dormant volcano who thought they were avoiding the Allies for 30 years and got smacked in the face with Disco when they were uncovered.  Any of those three, just not IE.  100%  Welcome back. The Red Sox won the pennant 5 years ago, and Arnold Swarzenegger is a Governor. Don’t hurt yourself.

Who is your favorite Celebrity (of all time) to share your first name? -Develabmentor

Ever since that episode of Extras, Patrick Stewart.

Why Couldn’t Seinfield get an REAL reunion?  Is it because the show hasn’t really held up over time?  I mean the one on curb was ok but it was more like a behind the scenes stuff and not a real episode, I would have liked to seen a real one on NBC like 30 minuets or an hour.

Saying that Seinfeld has not stood the test of time is incorrect.   Seinfeld has been the 2nd most syndicated show in history, right behind the Simpsons. Affiliates would not be airing the show if it did not resonate with viewers today. It pretty much swallowed up Cheers in terms of syndication. So, that’s ridiculous.

Also, Seinfeld did get a REAL reunion on CYE. I’m not sure if you had noticed, but with the read-throughs and rehearsals, you got an entire episode of Seinfeld in. For me, it was like watching a new episode of Seinfeld, and if it’s the way they wanted to do it, it worked fine for me, and it’s better than nothing.

Can you dance?  I find it awkward.  No matter how skilled a dancer is I still can’t help to think from time to time that dancing is odd. -ArchieBunkerDown

Dancing is retarded. Its about the most primitive thing a human being can do thats considered socially acceptable these days.  But,  it’s fine if you want to, just keep it down for everyone else who would rather use their minds to have stimulating conversation with someone else and not spaz around some maple tile to Kool & The Gang for the thousandth time.

So there’s a Tila Tequila blowjob video going around. If you’ve got an ET fetish, heres your chance. -Czechlist

Giving or recieving?

I’m Netflixing a new series.  Deadwood or Mad Men?  You’ve been boosting both series.  Which one first? -phkb33

You’re talking about two of my favorites, right nyah.   Deadwood has boobies and an insane amount of swearing. So, that’s a big plus. The dialogue can be a little confusing, but its not too distracting.  Mad Men has nostalgia, and epic writing, but it can get a little soap opery sometimes.   You can’t go wrong with either one. Mad Men is a little more light-hearted, and Deadwood is a little more gritty.   I’d go with whichever you have the mood for. Mostly light-hearted fun and heavy drama, or handfuls of “Holy Shit!”

I really hate the shirts they made for the Yankees when they won the World Series. Did MLB really have to mention on the shirt that they won it 27 times? If the Phillies won, I highly doubt they’d say “3 Time World Series Champions” on the shirts. -2JeterisGod2

So, this is what you get to complain about after your team has won that many championships.   I always wondered.

This Christmas, I have declared JIHAD on high prices!!! Join me brothers!!! JIHAD!!! Join me my brothers as we rain savings upon the nonbelievers this Christmas holiday!! Clip coupons, scour the internet and hit the infidels where it hurts, in their wallets!!! -MoneyJack

Allahu Bargains!

Any non Christian who celebrates christmas is a poser. -Nickelwise

Jesus’ birth is decided by lots of theological scholars as being late spring, early summer. So, saying you celebrate your birthday 5 months early is hardly an accurate celebration of your BIRTH DAY.
Decorating trees and your house with lights is just to bring some light to the shortest days of the year, the winter solstice.

Or you can quote some scripture from the Bible and prove that it’s all Christian based.  If it was really a birthday ceremony for Jesus, we’d all be wearing bathrobes to the petting zoo instead of participating in dozens of documented Pagan traditions; like presents, mistletoe, christmas trees, and lights.

The What’s What, Volume 50

I think every Sox/Yanks fan secretely respects certain players on the other side. For instance, I’m a big Red Sox fan and hate the Yankees but at the same time, I have a lot of respect for Posada, Jeter, Rivera, and Mussina and Torre when they were with the Yanks. -CrossFiyah

I don’t secretly respect them, I openly respect them. I am a Sox fan and my love for baseball won’t allow me to hate the Yankees. They’re great for baseball.  I do dislike the new stadium, the new Steinbrenner and A-Rod. But only because I think they are bad for baseball.  I think that Jeter is way overrated, but I still respect him as a competitor. Sox v Yanks truly does transcend baseball and thats great for the sport.

What foods are better as left overs than fresh? Earlier I had a meal from Olive Garden, it was ehhh while I ate it there. I ate half and boxed up the rest. I heated my left overs up in the microwave not too long ago and it was FUCKING AMAZING. So much better.  -Filmenhancer

Soups, stews, and chili all taste better after they’ve been fridge fucking for a day or two.  Time enhances these flavours, like marinating only after the fact.

Senator John Mccain is still Alive! Now four months since his humiliating lose to the Community Organizer in the American Presidential election. It appears the much talked about supposed Liberal theory of him dieing shortly after being  elected were GREATLY EXAGGERATED or possible even  just Propaganda.  More updates to come in the next 3 1/2 years as this story continues to unfold. -Large_Loaf77

He’s also playing golf with family and friends, and not having to deal with the stressful situations that comes with being President.  No wonder he’s fine.   And the only reason that was an issue is because of his choice for VP.  Republicans aren’t even close to getting over losing, and it’s making their opponents happy.  Stop letting everyone know how much it kills you inside.  When your enemy suffers, laughter is acceptable.

I think Im alone when I say HJ’s > BJ’s. -Regrenade

Thats ridiculous, you can give yourself a hand job. Plus the added bonus of getting your girl to shut the fuck up for 10 minutes, is pretty key.

I had a bad afternoon with a girl. She consistently pushed away and denied kissing me. Now I feel like a jerk. Discuss. -SizzermeTimbers

Chloroform: The Handshake of Seduction.

Humans can do cool, amazing things, but it’s really only limited by how much we currently know and how far out into the universe we are capable of reaching… Which is laughably short-handed, obviously. I bet in comparison to other intelligent beings out there, we are incredibly lame and pretty limited in ability… -Tokyo_Black

I’m sure these other alien races had obstacles to deal with.  You have to evolve into a better race. I’m talking mentally as much as physically.  Everyones cognition has to be globally centered to utilize full progress.  But to most on Earth today, it’s a laughingstock. Too many obstacles still to overcome for us.

i’m the kind of guy that hates small talk, but also hates awkward silence.. im going out with like 3 girls tonight, and i’m sure there will be few times when no one will be saying anything and it will get awkward as hell. what do you  do during times like these? -IMNigerian

Think of some good stories before the event to bring up only in these situations.  That’s what I do. Or just fart, really, really loudly.

Somehow it’s okay to make fun of the nuclear bombing of innocent civilians 70 years ago at the cost of the victims but it’s not okay to do the same for 9/11? I’m not for or against either, just wondering why this is so. Doesn’t suffering=suffering, and shouldn’t that concept exist outside of time? Humans so fickle…

I know, seriously. They do say that humor = tragedy + time.  The good news is, in just a few short years the holocaust is going to be COMPLETELY HILARIOUS.

Is it me or Black people pissed that Eminem is at the very least a top 5 Emcee of all time? -BahamaPapa

About as mad that some white people are about Tiger Woods being the best golfer.

5 Progressive Insurance commercials later.. would you hit Flo? -plaidtrousers

I’d like to trick out her name tag.

Why did Constantinople get the works? -Moneyhan

That’s nobodies business but the Turks.

The What’s What, Volume 44

Don’t you hate video news stories on sites? If I want to look up news I want to read it, I don’t want to wait for a video to load, see an ad, watch all the boring stuff, etc. I want to be able to read it, skim through to an important part, or just click back if the story wasn’t good.  . -Raistlin666

Absolutely, its one of the reasons I pay for a news site.  That, an no ads or sponsors to hinder stories based on ratings. If I wanted to watch the news, I’d turn on the TV.

Have you ever listened to a bulgarian song? -BuckWalid

Unlikely, unless they snuck one into GTA:IV’s “Chernobyl” station.

Nevada just put a state tax on cigs and it’s about 6 dollars for a pack now. I’m not a real smoker but I went to a pool hall with some friends tonight and we like to have a few cigs while we drink and play pool. So I picked up a pack for all us to share and it was freaking 6 dollars. it used to be 3.50. The cashier told me it’s going up to 7 dollars a pack august 1st. I feel bad for the every day smokers who pound through a pack a day. I realize the government needs money but if they put cig companies out of business aren’t more people going to lose their jobs? -she_bay_bee

I suggest buying cartons online. I used to get my Parliament Lights with Russian warnings on them, but they tasted the same and cost like 1/4 of the price. I just kept a carton or two in the freezer. They probably had lax regulations in Russia, but I rationalized that by smoking any kind of cigarette anyway. Like cigarettes in America are healthy or something?

Im hitting .175 with my RTTS guy in The Show after 63 at-bats. Why did they make hitting so damn hard. Makes me want to stop playing. Everything is just a weak ground ball. -Mass_FX

Yeah, just try and get through spring training. Once you get in the minors you’ll do okay. You are a rookie fresh out of highschool, trying to hit Jake Peavy and Tim Lincecum. Don’t get too discouraged.

do you hit the clearance rack first thing you go inside a store? -Cumulus_Max

My wife and I like the little dollar section as soon as you walk into Target. It’s crazy they put the impulse shopping at the beginning, usually its the end caps and aisles of check-out lanes, but they get us with it every time. But yeah, it only makes sense, you might find what you are looking for on the cheap.

hahah wtf @ The Last Boy Scout opening scene.  he shoots his way to the end zone and then kills himself. -inb404chan

That’s not even the best part. It’s “There’s six feet of mohagany desk between you and me right now; maybe I make it, maybe I don’t.  But if you say that to me one more time, we’re gonna find out.”  Best line of the movie, Damon Wayans made it work.

Would you go out with a girl that had a physical deformity? -SPippen458134

I dated a deaf girl for a while. She made some crazy noises during sex.  Imagine killing a 125 pound wild animal with your penis that laughs the entire time. Bad combination of distracting, disturbing and hilarious.

Did You Expect Your Wife to Change Her Surname? -Sandlotsoffun

I’m the last of my bloodline. So, I told her it was pretty important to me. She did.

What game(s) will you be playing over the weekend?  I’m going to try the new Street Fighter. -KAS321

I’m hoping to complete the GTA IV stunt jumps this weekend.  Probably some Show, also. LBP and 4 man co-op hockey when my friends come over.

DAMN GATOR CUT ME DOWN TO MY PRIME -pimpchimp

Just easing the tension, baby. Just easing the tension.

Imus has stage 2 prostate cancer.  Should I feel bad for this dick? -IndianDoug

Nappy headed Cheme-oes? Whatever you feel take into consideration that he does have a place for kids with cancer, I believe.  Granted, its a ranch that lets kids come slave for his property. You have the right to feel conflicted, surely.

Is Scrubs the best sitcom on TV? -BryanD1zzl3

I don’t have the time, want or bandwidth to list the amount of shows that are funnier than Scrubs.  Hermans Head was funnier than Scrubs.  Small Wonder was funnier than Scrubs.

Opening Day! How long will it take for fans to get over teh A-Roid situation? -nyyanks4live

Yankee fans? When he performs well, they’ll forget all about steroids.  Everyone else will never forget.