The What’s What, Volume 1o2

One of my friends actually “iced” me the other night.  I don’t think I’ve ever been more disappointed in a friend… but being the bro that I am, I couldn’t deny a good icing.  It tasted like drinking a pixy stix… real gross. -KrazyIvan82

I don’t get the joke. In my day, if someone bought you a drink as a laugh, they wasted $4 at a bar, because you just left it there and got yourself what you wanted.  Over half the time, the drink was slid off the table or dropped on purpose for additional laughs.  You have to drink it for some reason?  It sounds like you’re all being sheep to viral marketing that doesn’t take itself too seriously.  You find out who’s idea this was, they are getting paid.

I never got the appeal of licking a girl’s vagina. -Diamond_Crown

That’s okay, neither did she.

Have you heard that story about the Arab guy who was convicted of rape after he lied to A Jewish woman about being Jewish and had consensual sex with her? –TDog789

I’m just shocked that she went public with the whole affair.  I mean, any embarrassment she feels from admitting to being duped and having sex with the guy could have been met with the exact same reaction any other woman in the world responds with by not telling anyone, showering 3 times extra, and only admitting to it 3 years later in a drunk circle of friends years later when you’ve got Alicia’s story beat again.  Instead, she went with THE ACTUAL LEGAL DEFENSE of “I was a slut with him because I thought he was Jewish. And now that I find out he’s an Arab, I’m outraged. I’m not just a slut, I’m a RACIST slut. The Law needs to protect me.”

Would you beat a puppy to death with a bat for $10,000?  -blurnahn

If you want me to change the way I view myself for the rest of my life, I’m going to need life changing money.  It really is about the amount. I can rationalize killing a puppy for $1 million, because I can use that money to help thousands of other puppies.  If someone were to offer my wife $100M to shoot me in the head three times and she used that money to help thousands of people, I’m willing to take that role. Because let’s not kid ourselves here. Me hitting a puppy with a bat is going to kill it on the first strike to head. I wait until it falls asleep, close my eyes, and blammo. It’s at least knocked out. It’s not going to feel any pain when I give the second shot. It’s not like you gave me a prison shiv and told me to pull it apart. But 10k? That’s an offer only meaningful to pathetic poor people.

I prefer the 360 disc hole.  The 360 tray gently opens up, you give it the disc, and it gently and and greatfully brings it back in so you can play your games knowing full well that the 360 loves you.  The PS3 just gobbles up those discs because it knows it has no gaimez and it gets desperate, like a crack whore. -fullquietcasket

While hilarious, the XBox destroys discs. So, it’s more the crack whore in your analogy. PS3 is the junior prom queen, of which all you have to do is dip your tip and it pulls you  in smoothly and effortlessly.

are The Simpsons the most family in the world? -EatapusPrime

Its true, they’re the mostest family of all time.

Are They Seriously Bitching About Performance Incentives on ESPN?  The ESPN demonization is going on with TO and they are complaining about his performance based incentives. Greenberg is saying they should be more team based incentives. Don’t players automatically get a bonus for going into the playoffs and the Superbowl? -slaterhayer

As far as I’m concerned you base a payment structure around what the player values most. If a player values making the playoffs over 60 receptions, then you pay him for the playoffs.  Team based incentives for personal achievement players has failed in the past, with players taking off plays or getting phantom injuries after the team fails to make the playoffs. Makes the most sense to me, honestly.

Josh Elliot is the worst Sportscenter anchor. I really can barely stand watching morning Sportscenter because of this guy. -BuildCosby

He’s always talking to the director about some inside joke that no one else can hear.  And God help the broadcast if something doesn’t go as scripted, he’ll make jokes about that for 30 minutes. What an amateur. He must be someones kid.

What’s up with the Senate voting down the 9/11 volunteers healthcare bill? -mixmasterho

The Republicans wanted to be sure that no illegal immigrants get healthcare through this loophole.  However, If any illegal immigrant risked their health to help 9/11 victims, then not only should the government pay their health care expenses, but the government should expedite their citizenship papers to granted, immediately. This is pretty much what it boils down for me.

So, you think you’re so smart.  What don’t you know about? -Archetype66

Electricity. I am scared shitless of it. You get hit by lightning and you die. You get hit by lightning standing on a wooden box and your hair gets frizzy.  It’s like a serious face plain to me because its everywhere, crazy deadly, and I just can’t understand it.  Two guys get hit by the same lightning bolt, one dies instantly, but the other one is fine because he had coins in one pocket and an eraser in the other or some shit.  Just mayhem.

Go 20 years in the past or 500 years in the future? You will maintain all of your current knowledge.

Going 20 years in the past could make you billions of dollars. But maybe 500 years in the future we live in a scientific utopia where no one dies and we have extensive knowledge of the universe. Or, it is a post-nuclear apocalyptic world ala Fallout.  The choice is yours and yours alone. -FluffyBuster

Past.  Living rich and being right all the time > The unknown

I know a girl who cries when she practices violin.  Each note sounds so pure it just cuts through her and the melody comes pouring out of her eyes. And to me, everything else sounds like a lie.  -5Mt1.

Worst explanation ever. She may be a good musician, but shes a horrible writer.  Music has made me cry. But I didn’t make up a bunch of fortune cookiebull shit to try to explain it to people, trying to sound all superior about it.

Getting involved in social issues discussions on facebook…yay or nay -jackbob21

Since it’s mainly my friends and family, I don’t really add to the conversation unless I agree and no one has started an argument.  To be fair, I don’t usually go in for those kind of conversations in real life either, unless someone is asking for advice.  Issues like politics and religion only contribute drama to life. Your Thanksgiving dinner isn’t solving health care, and your bong circle isn’t going to disprove God. You Dad isnt a Senator, your buddies buddy who you’re playing horseshoes with isn’t a prophet.  I’d rather talk about things everyone can understand and enjoy.

All mosquites should die. No one would miss them. -Sicileen

The people with the food chain argument are always the same people complaining that 99% of species on Earth have been eradicated because of man. Make up your minds, hippies

The What’s What, Volume 92

Do you think the next GTA will be able to break the single day sales record again? MW2 made it pretty tough. -DaGaym

Well, something will, at some point.  MW2 will not last forever, I promise. Even if it takes MW3.

Going to the circus Friday. Haven’t been to the circus since the 6th grade. I’m going to ride the elephant.  -MightyMaybe

And a clown will likely molest you. They’re like the priests of carnivals, don’t let the makeup fool you.

lol this girl gave me a bj in bathroom then made out with my friend.  Then i was standing with a different friend and her and joking about it. And i told her to suck that friends dick and she did for 10 seconds. Then she went inside and made out with the other friend again. He knows nothing about it and its his regular booty call. Little does he know we both had sex with her in the past.  LMAO if only he knew. A girl just sucked two of his friends dick then made out with him within a 30min period. This is not a white trash situation either. This is a hot 105lb asain chick that works for abercrombie.  Ugh im surrounded by bad people. This is why i dont trust anyone anymore. Including myself. -HimandEric

I can’t tell if you are bragging about this?  Even if this is true, it paints you as a really bad friend.  I just don’t understand the brotherhood fraternity mentality of friendship. Its more like torturing dozens of each other into emotional bribery and blackmail instead of just building a few trusted relationships with partners in crime.  The groups of friends that you want getting your back in fights, are not the ones you want in a successful real life where there aren’t brawls breaking out, commonly. Just a heads up.

My Favorite nfl Player Is A Second-String Player, is that weird?  -ArkoftheGovernment

Since mine is retired, Barry Sanders, I say no.

So we’re about one season away from E3 2010 in Los Angeles; What are YOU hoping for this year? -BestServant

I’d like to see a good crop of innovative software titles, and less of the wii motion control shenanigans catered to from Sony and XBox.  I’d like the sandbox genre to continue to get more popular, expansive, and varied. I’d like for Nintendo to drop an Animal Crossing for the Wii. A new one and everything. Seriously. Those three and it’s going to be an expensive season for me.

What exactly is a plea of “No Contest”? I dont really understand it. -NinjaFlapper

From what I understand, people only use it when they accept a plea bargain from the Law but want to be able to defend themselves in civil court.

Played the Just Cause 2 demo yet? -DynamicBarbarian

Yes.  Also, I bought the game Day 1.  It’s amazing.  Huge open world.  Your main method of transportation is a parachute/grappling hook combo.  The missions are varied and fun, I highly recommend it.

Pugs are seriously the best dogs of all time. -RileyV113

A buddy of mine’s girlfriend has one and besides the fact that its ugly as hell and fires the nastiest smelling shitfire acid on his belongings unless he takes it to the vet/groomers every two weeks to get its rectum squelched, it’s really a nice pet.  You should get a couple.

My buddy keeps going on and on about how the Simpsons are not funny and how Family Guy is a way better cartoon.  Whatever, it’s an opinion, but he feels superior to those who prefer Simpsons. Anything I can tell him to shut up? -FreeBoobies

I’d wager Seth McFarlane considers the Simpsons an inspiration.  It’s cool to have a preference, but to call the Simpsons not funny, even if you think it’s true, makes you seem overemotional about the topic to the point where your credibility is a serious concern.

The What’s What, Volume 61

What’s the worst kind of internet degenerate?  Liars, Fanboys, Music/Religious elitists, Trolls? -Lourde_VJ

Oh, God. White Knights. Hands down.  Is there anything more pathetic that a guy standing up for someone over the internet solely because shes a woman?   I just can’t find it in myself to allow them even a slight shred of credibility. Plus, they are feeding attention whores, my second least favorite type of internet user, and least favorite type of real person.

My girlfriend dumped me, but as it stands, I still have to give her rides to work.  Is there anything more pathetic than that? -ValidDickTorian

Pathetic?  Yes.  But, also, a little opportunity to twist that dagger.  Grab some of your sister/Moms perfume and spray it in the car the night before.  Then pick her up with the windows down so it looks like you were trying to mask it.

Can you imagine how epic it would be to see the Star Wars V twist in theatres for the first time? -Victor777

Kinda sad that no one from any following generation will get the twist. With all the pop culture reference and what not. I remember that an episode of Muppet Babies spoiled it for my little sister. Kids now will just find it as a shocking moment to Luke, and important to the plot, not shocked themselves.

Family Guy was nominated for Outstanding Comedy Series. That has only been the 2nd time an animated show has been nominated in that category. The Flinstones is the other. -wool21

Great show.  But the fact that the Simpsons wasn’t the 2nd animated show to be nominated is borderline criminal, and definitely produces credibility problems for the Emmy’s, in my eyes.

Sarah Palin’s pregnant daughter vs Bill Clinton’s affair. Why do people who love Clinton bash Palin for her daughter being pregnant?   Sounds pretty stupid to me.  -Harts1780

I think it’s because while Gov Palin preached abstinence as the best policy and from her daughters actions, it seems she didn’t have her families support on the issue. President Clinton wasn’t trying to make adultery or cigar molestation a punishable legal offense or anything.

What restaurants should the health department hit hard; Asian or Mexican?-Emptymedia

Oh my God. Mexican BY FAR. Mexican food is slow cooked and left out in double boilers or under heat lamps for hours.  Chinese food is flash fried to order in searing woks. And in order to get many sauces to caramelize, they have to be brought to a ridiculously high temperature.   You could seriously add a teaspoon of swine flu in front of me into the wok thats preparing my food, and I’d still take the chinese food over Mexican.

Do you know that paramedics can’t pronounce someone dead unless they’re decapitated?  Moobs1818

You saying the movie “Knowing” had inaccurate information involved in its presentation?

As I type this, my girlfriends step dad is playing guitar and singing Christian music. I’m an atheist, and he knows it. -MDTerps07

Make up your own lyrics about how you should kill women for speaking in church, and stoning gays and sing along.

Were you involved in any school activities at college?-DimNeon

My friends and I had a radio show. We created fictional personalities and interviewed each other.   I was the Prince of International Waters for one show. We broadcast live Zonk games from the dorms. Played music and held marathon shows for lunar eclipses and meteor showers. Some of the greatest times I had was in that studio.

Which minor injury sucks more; Papercut or Splinter? -DigitalTornado

Ill go with splinter. Papercuts heal themselves.   You have to wait until you can take a sliver out which can be hours, and then you have to deal with this painful annoyance in you for hours, possibly.

Thoughts on the Erin Andrews nude video? -Crackagoboom

Its not fair to her at all. But in the mean time, she’s smoking hot and she’s welcome to see me naked any time she would like to.  Additionally, shes the one who confirmed it.  The video quality isn’t great enough to make a definitive claim as to the identity.  If she said “That’s not me” I would have believed her and likely never have seen it.