The What’s What, Volume 1o7

WMC: I apologize for the uneditable spacing issues.  I’m officially looking for a free blog service to transfer mine too.  Currently accepting nominations.

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Luke Skywalker only knew Obi-Wan for like, half a day. They meet in the morning when Luke almost gets captured, talk for a bit, then Luke finds his dead parents, so they decide to hire Han Solo. A little later in the day Han and them leave Tatooine and get abducted by the Death Star, where Obi-Wan dies.  -StealthyMission

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I assumed that Obi Wan was there to protect Luke from harm. Luke just had a crap ass boring existence, which includes the sole highlight of blasting swamp rats when he’s not harvesting blue milk from the desert, and he never needed anyone to do anything to protect him. So, Obi Wan knew Luke a lot more than Luke knew ObiWan. Do you know the scale of hours between Earth and Tatooine? They could have spent 4 days in constant sunlight there. Also, I imagine the space travel was a little more than a few hours. I’m not an apologist or anything, you might be right. Just what I come out with. The relationship didn’t really strike me as a hoax when I was a toddler in 1980.

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create the ultimate super group band with living or dead band mates -ballin06

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Guitar and lyrics – John Lennon & Bob Dylan
Piano – Ben Folds
Vocals – Eddie Vedder
Drums – Carl Palmer
Horns, accordion, and accompaniment – They Might Be Giants

I immediately think less of someone if I find out they smoke.  To the extent that I wouldn’t secks them if I found out. -jamdlw

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That’s cool. I can relate. Kind of like the way I immediately think less of you for thinking less of people based on one decision they’ve made.

Will you raise your KIDS with a religion? -hottubmimemachine

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No.  And it’s unlikely they’ll see a baptism, which is likely to bring about issues with my Dad.  He’s a good guy and everything.  He just like-a da Jesus.

Jon Hamm is typecast. His voice + anytime he wears a suit = Don Draper for the rest of his life -GreyFocks15

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I could not disagree more.  I’m going to wager you have never seen him on 30 Rock, SNL or the Emmy’s.  Hes been getting a shitload of credit for his comedy work, recently.  It seems that way to me, anyway.

if black ppl dont like mayo, what do they put on their sandwiches?  -DuSheauwnDre

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White women, obviously.

What is something your penis can’t do that, that you wish it could? -LVWINRAR

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Either laser beams or free HBO.

Have you ever pooped in the oven?  -Homey65

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Not my own oven, of course not.  That would be a mistake.

Congrats on your first platinum trophy.  Can I get a review?  -Glocktypus

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LoL.  Afrika?  It was just okay.  I just kept completing missions, and some seemingly super easy mission would pop up, so I would do that one. Then it told me that I did all the missions. I looked to see what I was missing and it was the 20th item. So, I went to get that and it went all “Platinum Trophy”.   I put 30-40 hours into it, I guess. 3 of those hours hunting for the ever elusive Kori Bustard in the Kiwanja Plain.  I got the from Gamefly, and am pleased I did. Once you platinum it there is absolutely nothing left to do but goof off. It looks pretty, that’s for sure. The music is awesome.  I’m still humming it, weeks later.  If you like photography, it’s definitely worth a go round.  But I’ve spent way more hours on other games that I haven’t platinumed.

The What’s What, Volume 1o4

WMC: I am now talking about Red Dead Redemption.  Ending and everything.  Just a heads up for the following question.

Can we talk spoilers, yet?  Are people really surprised about the ending of RDR?  The game was so heavy on his story about him trying to get back to a normal life and all that bullshit, I saw it coming a mile away. Not that I cared. Marston was a cock anyway.

I expected his families death as I watched them set up the end story. I thought the farm missions were to build character development so you cared about losing them when they were taken away. I also expected you to take Bonnie as your wife. It all seemed so set up.  So, when John fought his way into the barn to purposefully not fight his way out of it, I was a little shocked.  I did screw up the ending by activating Dead Eye seconds after the story does it for you.  The result of which leaves everyone pointing their guns at you for about FIFTEEN RETARDED SECONDS of the feeling like you’re standing there with your dick in your hand before they empty their weapons into you.

Now that I think about it, I like my ending better.  Family dies, John gets to marry Maid Bonnie who was written to be perfect for him.  The fact that they taught you how to ranch several times could get used to actually ranch some cattle with Bonnie, a cause to keep the sandbox alive, unlike now.  The HorseShoe pit and Poker Gazebo on the Marstons property could be used for HoreShoes and Poker instead of nothing, like it is now.  Don’t get me wrong, I very much enjoyed the game.  Maybe they thought people would be okay with losing John because they were going to get themselves immersed in the multi-player, which I could defend.  The ending seemed like it was changed late in production, is all I am saying.

Joker’s Social Experiment From The Ferry in The Dark Knight – What would YOUR City Do? -WaltWhiteshat

Convicts riot and flip the switch.  Citizens are too worried that the detonator blows their own ship.  One of them is sinking, that’s for damn sure.

The BoonDocks.  I hated this show at first mainly because I think Aaron McGruder is racist towards white people and elitist towards black and the first season really didn’t do much to make me like it. The 2nd season was definitely better but it still hadn’t won me over. This newest season though has been downright hilarious. I think the biggest reason why is because they stopped focusing so much on Huey and started writing stories based on other characters. Huey might just be my most disliked character (probably because he’s supposed to be a voice for McGruder). -shyguy5676

I totally agree with your assessment of character development and Huey.  It’s good to have a straight man in the act, but to grandstand a character that has all the answers and never fails is another.  To build that character around yourself while poking specific social commentaries and offering no solutions to the issues is another.  I also feel like the show used to be more about making fun of the stereotypes, and now it seems to be more like a show built around the stereotypes and shock value.  I’m still watching it.

On August 11, ESPNs Chris Mortensen tweeted “On the Mike & Kike Show now!” ROFL -phkb33

I got that exact same tweet and thought to myself “I hope they’re really good friends”.  Turns out he claimed it was a typo, which I believe.  It sucks when you’re an equalitist and say something stupid.

The term “spear-chucker” itself is quite ludicrous. I was under the assumption that spears are to be thrown. -Soleless

Offended black people should simply use the term “Javelinist” to describe white people, so the hate train can keep on chugging.  Choo-choo, bitches.

Of the 50 US States, how many have you been to/driven through? -blameradio

Over half. I live and visit all of New England, regularly. Drove Albany to Vegas and back, different ways. Drove Florida and back.  Hawaii for my honeymoon.  I’m really only missing the Northern Border with Wyoming from Michigan to Washington, and Alaska.  I think we missed Louisiana too, I’d like to go there.

yesterday my brother and roommate joined me for a trip to buffalo cantina in williamsburg, brooklyn. we had been looking for a good wing place in brooklyn for a minute, and saw it on the travel channel’s “man vs food”. he needed two attempts to complete the challenge: six “suicidal” wings in three minutes.  so thats what we did.  through my tears i could see my brother and roommate each only ate a bite of theirs and were both red faced, tears flowing, snot dripping, miserable. last night was hell. this morning wasn’t any better.  -misterwelshman

Yeah, I like spice and everything.  But there’s a fine line between enjoyment and pain, and that line for me is just a touch above habanero.  I no longer cross that threshhold, and rarely attempt anything close anymore.  Habanero is enough for me to enjoy about twice a year, and only for new foods or unfamiliar spice flavour profiles.

What do you think of the Jewish people? -TrenchMode

I had a negative attitude against them early in my life. But, then I saw the movie “School Ties” and it really set me straight.

Is Lebron James decision to play with D-Wade and Chris Bosh the fall of the NBA?  -ballin06

I think you’d have to blame the Celtics for bringing the Big Three together. If it wasn’t working there, it wouldn’t be attempted again this soon.  Lebron is just going with the tide. Superstars get drafted, make a bunch of money in ticket and jersey sales for the team, and if they don’t win a championship in that first x amount of years, they go to a place they have a better chance of doing it.  He came into the league from high school and signed a long term contract with the team he was drafted by. He needs to do more than Charles Barkley and Karl Malone because he is younger? From what I understand, that TV special had a lot to do with producing the negativity. That just my take. Are they going to win 3 out of the next 4 championships? Yes, yes they are. Is that bad for the NBA? We will see.

Is it legal to watch the cops arresting someone?  I mean being up close and personal so you can see and hear what’s going on. Or will the cops just tell you to Fuck off? Every time I see something like this me and whoever I’m with sort of hide in the distance and act like we’re not watching trying to find out what’s going on. Wanted to know if I could save some trouble and just walk up to them. -Otaku21

Walk up to them and watch. Don’t get too close, you don’t want them concerned about your safety or what you’re gonna do. If they say something to you, simply say “I’m a witness available for a statement if you need one.” Seriously. They’ll leave you the hell alone.

If atheists were right, shouldn’t they kill themselves? Because according to them, life has no purpose. -BobSon17

Shouldn’t theists be killing themselves to get to heaven faster?  Life IS the purpose. Atheists are working hard to build a legacy while others are walking on eggshells to avoid an angry God.  Theists are lucky to get a tombstone.

Magic or Bird? I say Magic. -007saradim

Bird was better in the clutch and was a waaaaaaaay better defender. Plus, Magic arguably had a lot more to work with.

NFL Predictions, Favorite team Predictions, Fantasy Predictions, Go! –

NFL – Vikings d Packers in NFC, Ravens d Jets in AFC, Vikings d Ravens in SuperBowl.  Favorite team – Patriots get 10 or 11 wins, Randy Moss causes trouble, Laurence Maroney puts up exciting numbers, passing defense a huge problem, win one playoff game.  Fantasy – Make playoffs in two out of three leagues, Participate in Super Bowl, CJ Spiller is a beast, Philip Rivers is a bust.

The What’s What, Volume 1o2

One of my friends actually “iced” me the other night.  I don’t think I’ve ever been more disappointed in a friend… but being the bro that I am, I couldn’t deny a good icing.  It tasted like drinking a pixy stix… real gross. -KrazyIvan82

I don’t get the joke. In my day, if someone bought you a drink as a laugh, they wasted $4 at a bar, because you just left it there and got yourself what you wanted.  Over half the time, the drink was slid off the table or dropped on purpose for additional laughs.  You have to drink it for some reason?  It sounds like you’re all being sheep to viral marketing that doesn’t take itself too seriously.  You find out who’s idea this was, they are getting paid.

I never got the appeal of licking a girl’s vagina. -Diamond_Crown

That’s okay, neither did she.

Have you heard that story about the Arab guy who was convicted of rape after he lied to A Jewish woman about being Jewish and had consensual sex with her? –TDog789

I’m just shocked that she went public with the whole affair.  I mean, any embarrassment she feels from admitting to being duped and having sex with the guy could have been met with the exact same reaction any other woman in the world responds with by not telling anyone, showering 3 times extra, and only admitting to it 3 years later in a drunk circle of friends years later when you’ve got Alicia’s story beat again.  Instead, she went with THE ACTUAL LEGAL DEFENSE of “I was a slut with him because I thought he was Jewish. And now that I find out he’s an Arab, I’m outraged. I’m not just a slut, I’m a RACIST slut. The Law needs to protect me.”

Would you beat a puppy to death with a bat for $10,000?  -blurnahn

If you want me to change the way I view myself for the rest of my life, I’m going to need life changing money.  It really is about the amount. I can rationalize killing a puppy for $1 million, because I can use that money to help thousands of other puppies.  If someone were to offer my wife $100M to shoot me in the head three times and she used that money to help thousands of people, I’m willing to take that role. Because let’s not kid ourselves here. Me hitting a puppy with a bat is going to kill it on the first strike to head. I wait until it falls asleep, close my eyes, and blammo. It’s at least knocked out. It’s not going to feel any pain when I give the second shot. It’s not like you gave me a prison shiv and told me to pull it apart. But 10k? That’s an offer only meaningful to pathetic poor people.

I prefer the 360 disc hole.  The 360 tray gently opens up, you give it the disc, and it gently and and greatfully brings it back in so you can play your games knowing full well that the 360 loves you.  The PS3 just gobbles up those discs because it knows it has no gaimez and it gets desperate, like a crack whore. -fullquietcasket

While hilarious, the XBox destroys discs. So, it’s more the crack whore in your analogy. PS3 is the junior prom queen, of which all you have to do is dip your tip and it pulls you  in smoothly and effortlessly.

are The Simpsons the most family in the world? -EatapusPrime

Its true, they’re the mostest family of all time.

Are They Seriously Bitching About Performance Incentives on ESPN?  The ESPN demonization is going on with TO and they are complaining about his performance based incentives. Greenberg is saying they should be more team based incentives. Don’t players automatically get a bonus for going into the playoffs and the Superbowl? -slaterhayer

As far as I’m concerned you base a payment structure around what the player values most. If a player values making the playoffs over 60 receptions, then you pay him for the playoffs.  Team based incentives for personal achievement players has failed in the past, with players taking off plays or getting phantom injuries after the team fails to make the playoffs. Makes the most sense to me, honestly.

Josh Elliot is the worst Sportscenter anchor. I really can barely stand watching morning Sportscenter because of this guy. -BuildCosby

He’s always talking to the director about some inside joke that no one else can hear.  And God help the broadcast if something doesn’t go as scripted, he’ll make jokes about that for 30 minutes. What an amateur. He must be someones kid.

What’s up with the Senate voting down the 9/11 volunteers healthcare bill? -mixmasterho

The Republicans wanted to be sure that no illegal immigrants get healthcare through this loophole.  However, If any illegal immigrant risked their health to help 9/11 victims, then not only should the government pay their health care expenses, but the government should expedite their citizenship papers to granted, immediately. This is pretty much what it boils down for me.

So, you think you’re so smart.  What don’t you know about? -Archetype66

Electricity. I am scared shitless of it. You get hit by lightning and you die. You get hit by lightning standing on a wooden box and your hair gets frizzy.  It’s like a serious face plain to me because its everywhere, crazy deadly, and I just can’t understand it.  Two guys get hit by the same lightning bolt, one dies instantly, but the other one is fine because he had coins in one pocket and an eraser in the other or some shit.  Just mayhem.

Go 20 years in the past or 500 years in the future? You will maintain all of your current knowledge.

Going 20 years in the past could make you billions of dollars. But maybe 500 years in the future we live in a scientific utopia where no one dies and we have extensive knowledge of the universe. Or, it is a post-nuclear apocalyptic world ala Fallout.  The choice is yours and yours alone. -FluffyBuster

Past.  Living rich and being right all the time > The unknown

I know a girl who cries when she practices violin.  Each note sounds so pure it just cuts through her and the melody comes pouring out of her eyes. And to me, everything else sounds like a lie.  -5Mt1.

Worst explanation ever. She may be a good musician, but shes a horrible writer.  Music has made me cry. But I didn’t make up a bunch of fortune cookiebull shit to try to explain it to people, trying to sound all superior about it.

Getting involved in social issues discussions on facebook…yay or nay -jackbob21

Since it’s mainly my friends and family, I don’t really add to the conversation unless I agree and no one has started an argument.  To be fair, I don’t usually go in for those kind of conversations in real life either, unless someone is asking for advice.  Issues like politics and religion only contribute drama to life. Your Thanksgiving dinner isn’t solving health care, and your bong circle isn’t going to disprove God. You Dad isnt a Senator, your buddies buddy who you’re playing horseshoes with isn’t a prophet.  I’d rather talk about things everyone can understand and enjoy.

All mosquites should die. No one would miss them. -Sicileen

The people with the food chain argument are always the same people complaining that 99% of species on Earth have been eradicated because of man. Make up your minds, hippies

The What’s What, Volume 99

The Mario Marathon was awesome, good choice on your first link ever. -Nights-In-Malta

Woah.  Shit got real at the end of the Mario Marathon there.  What happened? Did they really let trolls cancel it?  -MetzylAtzi

No, but thanks for bringing it up.  It’s been a few days and I still can’t believe what happened there.  To those unaware of the situation, let me preface by saying that I am about to shit on a charity fundraiser.  At the end of my observations, I’m going to prove it all doesn’t matter, but for just a moment, let’s pretend like it does.  I’d also like to add that I feel confident in bringing it up, because of the overwhelming support I received from people involved in the event.  To avoid possible strained friendships, I’ll  say I got AT LEAST one message of “You are saying what everyone in the room is thinking, but can’t say.”

The Mario Marathon had distinguishable defined rules that “unlocked” levels that had to be played after a certain specific donation level was reached.  Throughout the marathon, people would ask how long the marathon lasted and were consistently told “There is no time limit.  We play until the last level has caught up to the donation limit, and then we turn off the Nintendo.  People can still donate, but we’re done playing.”   However,  that’s not what happened.  It turns out the wife of the guy hosting the event wanted her house back, after they raised too much money and would have to spend another night in her living room playing video games.  They even made jokes about it.  Their official excuse for ending the marathon early was “My wife got a new job six months ago, and we didn’t know the situation.”  Everyone in the chat knew all about her job, because she left for it every morning while the guys sacrificed time, effort, and sleep for charity.

“Woah, hey, MetaCog.  C’mon, lets give them a break.  The guys raised $82,000 for charity, and did a lot of good.”, you might say, accurately.  Which might force me to wonder how much money could have been raised with a legitimate, credible ending to the event.  You also might say, “Give the wife a break, it’s not like she was selling off memorabilia for financial gain while everyone was coming to an emotional grip with the end of an event that brought so many people happiness.”  You could say that, if that wasn’t EXACTLY WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED.  Would you believe, that seconds after her husband had finished a tearful speech ripped from his yearbook about how far they’ve come, and new friends they’ve made, and how this will be the last marathon; the wet blanket took the opportunity to offer the Mario-themed decorations on sale to the chat room?  Would you believe that?   Did I forget to mention the part where she said “All proceeds go to Childs Play?”   It’s because she didn’t.

I’m in an, apparently rare, considerate, supporting marriage.  I could not begin to imagine my reaction if my wife publicly castrated me in front of an audience of thousands of people building a provident image of me over three years through sacrifice and effort for the benefit of sick children.  Luckily, my wife wouldn’t allow that to happen.  I loved the event, and those guys are heroes to me.  They could have easily called the event “100 hours of Mario” if they had worries.  They probably shouldn’t have been estimating an end time, publicly, while simultaneously raising the hopes of everyone else to exceed their estimations.  It just brought an unfortunate ending to a magical three years of concurrent fun and pride.

I wish the guys long friendships of happy memories of the event.  And as promised, to prove that it all doesn’t matter what I think,  I leave the last word to a faithful reader who’s observations are all that does matter:

Thanks for advertising to Mario Marathon 3.  My little sister was in the hospital and we were allowed use of a game kart to keep her mind off treatment.  Not only was it the bearer off many of the last few smiles of her life, but it allowed us to keep some amazing memories of her, sides of her we had not or ever would have seen.  I’m not sure if Childs Play was involved with my situation, but I am happy to invest in other peoples similar circumstances. -PelleCee33

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How do you feel about 3d being pushed into the market so suddenly? -hottubmimemachine

Seems like a money grab. Some rehashed gimmick from the 50s to make money.  Oh, and for it to work right, you need to buy a new TV AND STILL use clunky glasses?  I remember being impressed with a 3D Super Bowl ad a couple years ago, worked on my TV and everything.  I’m not investing.

If you don’t die next week, congreats on Volume 100.  Plans for a big to-do? -NinjaFlapper

Thanks for noticing. Nope.  No big plans.  Going to use the letter “o” in place of zeroes “0”.  Try and notice the difference.  It’s quite the milestone, I’ve always wanted a counter on my boredom and image of self-importance.

I’m selling my 360 with a 20gb HD, 2 wireless controllers, the charger kit, and 2 games.   All this for $200 dollars. Well actually I’m buying all this from a friend for $150 and then turning it around and selling it for $200.  That’s a fair deal, yeah? -DragonSlayah

Not for your “so called” friend.  Does your friend know you are reselling it? If not, you’re an asshole. If so, you’re a charity case. Congrats.

What is the greatest national anthem of all time?  -taekwondokid

USSR>Canada>USA>Everyone else

E3 reactions? -WalrusAmI

Nintendo won, hands down.  How they hell they have gotten me to anticipate a Kirby game is beyond my current understanding.  The 3DS looks interesting.  More importantly, it comes with a new Animal Crossing game.  I’ll have to get one in my hands for a final answer.  Sony and Microsoft paid far too much attention to the movement controller future.  I just feel like anyone who likes that stuff already has the Wii.  At least Sony had actual demos.  Microsoft showed gameplay recordings with actors miming, very underhanded by them. Leads me to believe that Kinect/Natal is having workability issues.   Sony had a better showing of games.  Microsoft really failed the event for me.

Fuck 1. Marry 1. Kill 1. Breaking Bad Edition: Jane (Jesses dead girlfriend), Skylar (Walts Wife), Marie (Hanks Wife) GO!-WaltWhiteshat

I’d fuck Jessie’s dead girlfriend, well, when she was alive.   Marry Hanks wife. She seems very caring, pleasant, and not embarrassingly self-righteous. Handy in the hospital? You marry that. Kill Skylar. What a bitch. All she does is complain and get involved where shes not invited.

The What’s What, Volume 98

So, how about something for your faithful way-back readers from Glasses & Smoke?   I’m thinking something really showcase.  Like profound existentialism in haiku format. -CanadiAnne

Holy mackarel.  You’re even using Price is Right terms as adjectives.  What is this, 2oo4? That brings me back.  I can’t possibly deny you that request, but I’m a little rusty so let’s keep the expectations low.  How about;

Thinking why and how <>  Sporadic brain gum is fun <> Reality Serves

My professor got mad at the class because we wouldn’t give different opinions.  She was asking us if people should have the right to take their own life themselves and the whole class basically said yes. I didn’t say anything cause I don’t give a shit. So then she was basically trying to get people to say no so we could start a discussion or debate.  She was calling us hiveminds all butthurt. -WaltWhiteshat

She trying to win an award or something? LoL @ life not turning out like Dead Poets Society.  Too bad, lady.

What should I name my FIRST American city in Civilization V? -ProfUNT10

New Fresno?  Yeah, New Fresno.

Thoughts on the new Tiger Woods?  A couple severe changes. -M4rk4swe11

The Demo really sold me.  The Ryder Cup is awesome. Also, I really like how they added focus his year to limit the amount of power boost, spin and putt previews used. I might pick it up for my birthday in a couple weeks.

Let’s say your NBA, MLB or NHL team that you are a die hard fan of is in the finals. They lead the series 3-2. Game 6 is on the road. You have tickets to game 7 which would be at home. Do you root for your team to lose Game 6, so that you can go to game 7 and hopefully witness the championship win first hand? Remember, there’s a good chance your team could lose game 7. Or, do you want them to wrap it up in 6, making your tickets useless?  -Eagles9_9

That’s pretty selfish.  You’re putting a possible personal experience in front of the wants and goals of millions. Hell, bringing it up makes you  lose credibility as a fan for even giving credence to the concept.

I pray that you go to hell, because if you have not found God and accepted him into your heart, then you don’t deserve to be in heaven with me.  Go to hell.  -XtianBC

Did you know that heaven was invented as a chance to offer pagans a chance at the afterlife which had been previously only been available to Gods? Your ancestors fell for advertising. Do some research.

The opening at the end of your penis is called the meatus.  The more you know.  -jackbob21

All I need now is a little gladiator helmet. Meatus Shooticles, meet m’lady, Dame Ashley of Hootershire.

You say you enjoyed Deadwood, but I hear alot of mixed reviews.   Can you tell me what you DIDN’T like about the show? –kanaroki

Yeah, the dialogue did seem a little excessive. But the Wild West seems like a weirdly good fit for that.  The Wild West always conveys this feeling that everyone is living by their own code of what they believe is right. Even the villains have limits they set on themselves. So, interacting with each other should be formal.  I dunno. I bought it. It was slightly excessive to the point of distracting and I can totally understand why some would be put off or confused at some points. I was, occasionally. But, I still loved the show.

my friend wants me to go to her grad party but her mom hates me, because she thinks im into her daughter, who has a boyfriend like seeeerious hate, im banned from their housebut my friend doesnt care and wants me there. ive explained im uncomfortable, but she wont listen what do? -rawksawlid1

This is really no brainer. Why are you worried about the negativity you bring to someone who already hates you?  Let the people who suck be uncomfortable for an hour or two, so you can celebrate a milestone with a friend.

Why all the hate for World Cup vuvzelas?  They’re just big kazoos.  -Tellyourride

The kazoo is a fine instrument. Make them 3 times louder, and give one to every 50,000 people attending your event of global importance that you are in the center of, trying to communicate and concentrate. It’s a disaster, for me, personally. If you love it, cool for you.

The What’s What, Volume 88

I don’t understand how people can actually LIKE cocktail sauce. -pen_island

Its horseradish and ketchup. Two condiments can sometimes go great together.  Relish and mayo, honey and mustard, etc.  I suggest saving your disdain for more important things, though.

Why is there so much hate on Lent?  I feel bad for people that have such a simple message of self discipline and sacrifice fly right over their head.   -teaboxer

Because others feel bad for people whos views of self discipline and sacrifice begin and end at giving up chocolate for a month.

Lol My dad thought that you made Oreo milkshakes using Oreo ice cream.  The other night after we were done eating dinner he said “Well, if you want to make an Oreo milkshake we have some Oreo ice cream in the fridge”. Me and my Mom both laughed at him.  -LastTopModel

You are completely wrong. You want the Oreo Ice Cream because the cookies are moister and break apart easier and fit through the straw. To this you add chocolate sauce, extra cookies and milk. I feel bad for your Dad that he got ridiculed for being right.

So, what’s the consensus on MAG? Good? Bad? Worth a purchase? -ZippahHead

My brother in law is really into it. Pretty good too. I liked playing the demo.  I like how they force you to push for an objective rather than every game turning into a deathmatch.  Pretty innovative scoring, revival, and activity systems.  I would suggest renting before purchase, as I would most any game you’ve never played.

So this disabled lady that my mom buys groceries for passed away… How long before I can drink her A&W Root beer?  -SOCommander

Im assuming you can’t just drink one and claim you didn’t know?  If she does, pour two glasses and bring one to your Mom. Raise a glass to the fallen disabled lady and toast in her honour.  She can’t really feel guilty if you have good intentions, and you shouldn’t either if you thank her memory for it.  Bonus points: Make floats.

Who deserves more credit for the success of a movie?Director or Writer? -Sicileen

Tough call. Essentially, movie ideas don’t happen from nothing, so I would have to go with writers. I’d be interested to hear what a successful writer/director like Tarantino would have to say about it.

The problem with you potheads is that it doesnt matter if you are factually wrong if people believe you.  Its kind of a big problem, given the amount of stupid people out there… -IEnjoiRayden

The problem with everyone (Christians/Atheists, Reps/Dems, Hershey/Nestle) is that it doesn’t matter if you are factually wrong as long as people believe you.

A friend BLOCKED all time wasting sites at work, now the 20 somethings are upset! LOL  he has many 20 somethings under him. They spend time on sites like facebook, twitter, myspace, etc. …. everyday! So my friend talked to the tech guy and had him block all those sites. Now the 20 somethings are crying! WTF? Your at work to work, not surf the net. Here and there, surfing is no biggie, but several times a day, each and every day is pushing it. So my friend was pro active. -MortalityDeadbolt

Now, all the 20-somethings are checking these sites on their much, much slower phones wasting much, much more time.

I don’t get why people like you.  This blog is about nothing, and it’s not even funny.  -ShawneeL91

I don’t get why if I throw a paper clip or aluminum foil sheet into the air, it’s doesn’t float down slightly North.  Shouldn’t this happen?  Life is full of mysteries.

The What’s What, Volume 77

Call of Duty Modern Warfare 2 or Uncharted 2? -RattlensnakeStyle

Full disclousre.  I haven’t played MW2 yet.  In fact, I just started the franchise last weekend by renting World at War.   Which is a great FPS.  But theres a few of those around and they all kind of have the same thing going on.  Uncharted 2 is like nothing I have ever played before.  It truly was an experience for me.   Puzzles, platforming, shooting, great story, amazing visuals.  It wins GOTY hands down for me this year, personally.

How long could you make it on a deserted island?  Let’s say there are coconuts and rats. -MysterySolver

Islands mean fish.   I’m smart and relatively outdoors savvy. If I had a knife and a fire, I’d be alive for a while. Just bored out of my skull.

Do you play videogames as much as you did in the past? -EllisTurks

Im playing way more video games now than I did when I was a kid. I might have played Tecmo Bowl or Baseball Stars few games a week.  There was a lot of swimming, bike riding, and random fun in the woods when I was a kid.  Now I’m hitting the sticks every day for hours at a time.  I blame the shift on marriage, a 9-5 job, and marijuana.

There needs to be a political party solely dedicated to destroying the two party system. -OpinionBoxer

There needs to be a rich, charismatic, moderate to run as an Independant.   That’s really all it would take.  Ross Perot had a shot, but then he did that retarded drop-out/re-run thing and destroyed his own credibility and damaged future candidates.  What an amazingly asshole move there.

Why is TMZ being a bitch and not releasing the Carrie Prejean masturbation video? -DeathReception

Now that’s it been proven that she wasn’t 17 in the video like she originally claimed and tried to have her boyfriend lie for her, which he wouldn’t do for some reason, it will likely be released.  I mean, who wouldn’t go to jail on CHILD PORNOGRAPHY CHARGES for an exgirlfriend who dumped you because she decided she was going to have better prospects to date as Miss California.  If TMZ doesn’t release it, they will sell it someone who will.   It does them no good clogging up their archives.

Full house would be a much beter show if it werent for the leftist subtext; it was all about 3 polyamoros gay men raising kids  it was really a disgusting topic that that’s why i couldn’t watch it for more than a few minutes at a time -Panthertopdog

Let’s not forget Kimmy Gibblers horrible penchant for Communism.

You getting the Levi Johnston Playgirl? -XSessRage

Nah, I already read the article and I’m all set on seeing his junk.  I particularly enjoyed how in that interview, Levi seems to insinuate that knocking up a high school girl is experience that gets his foot in the door of the entertainment industry. And then they tell him that the majority of PlayGirl readers are gay men and he’s all “Yeah whatever, they say that, but theres a lot of cougars too.” And tries to play it off like its okay that men are sticking up his pages.

Can everyone shut up about Michael Jordan?  He’s the most overrated player in any sport, all time.  He was only good because his level of competition was so poor.  -CrestFightStrips

I’m open minded, but your argument doesn’t start off well when your position is that he’s overrated because he was too dominant.   Seriously. It’s a different game now, I’ll give you that. But, you couldn’t consider Tiger Woods overrated and he’s been just as dominant.  To a certain extent, Jordans experience changed the game of basketball to the way it is now. He showed how one person can take over a league, so now teams and the league build stars.  I’d like to hear more on this, because apparently, he was a real asshole. But, I never met him or anything.

I wasn’t given a middle name at birth, so Im going to legally add one on my 18th birthday.  Thoughts? -Navybound88

How else would you be a viable serial killer without one?  I’m gonna go ahead an offer “Vesuvius”.  Seriously.  Consider it.

Merril Hoge agrees with Belicheck’s 4th down decision, I think he’s had too many head injuries.  – somerandomguy

I had the opposite reaction everyone else seems to be having.  At first, I thought it was a mistake, but after it failed I started to come around to Belichicks thinking.  First off, he gets to make that decision because he has supreme job security.    Other coaches don’t have that luxury because they are on the hot seat and their teams suck. They punt that ball because it gives their team the team the best chance of not losing.  With the game on the line, he would rather Tom Brady have the ball in his hands to get 2 yards than Peyton Manning to get 50.  I think that’s reasonable.  Theres a big difference between playing to win and playing to not lose.

Roseanne was an awesome show. I watched it all the time.  Sure, the last season sucked, but I think that the last episode made up for that. -DaveKevin45

It was a culturally impactful show in the 80s. Before RoseAnn, being white trash was something to be embarrassed about.  It allowed a generation of worthless degenerates to actually STRIVE to become white trash, instead of allowing everyone else to consider them who they actually are, homeless people who happen to have homes at the moment.  Thanks RoseAnne.

The What’s What, Volume 75

HOLY CRAP Drago just knocked out Apollo. He’s not looking good after that. -ThereIsNoGodZilla

I agree with the widow Creed and blame Rocky, he should have thrown in the towel.  No matter how proud Apollo was.

Would you take $10,000 to Teabag a hibernating bear? -TinHearted

I’m pretty sure he’d fucking tear you to pieces before you unbuttoned your pants.  So, no thanks.

Watching Bored To Death? –NineInchMark

Yeah, last Sundays was particularly funny, with the Craigslist girl. But the show is okay. More interesting than it is funny.  I don’t like that he never loses a case. It would make the show more appealing if you weren’t sure it was gonna work out in the end. I suppose they could be setting up for something.

FACT: Les Stroud > Bear Grylls -wool21

Les takes himself too seriously and is over-dramatic. We don’t need to see him bored in the wilderness to prove that he’s there.  They should merge the shows and drop one in one spot one week, and the other in the same spot the next week and see who has the best ideas and easiest time. Now, we’re talking.

“Taking Ecstasy is Safer Than Riding A Horse” -British Drug Czar David Nutt.  Reply? -BBSS8833

What a coincidence, Ecstasy is less exciting than riding a horse, also.

Rachel Scotts Dad came to talk to us at school today.  Shes the girl killed in the Columbine attacks that had all these premonitions of the attack and her death and stuff.   Very moving and eerie.  Have you heard of this? -everpack17

Have you heard the theory that she was in on the attack?  Apparently, there’s concern that she wanted to die, but didn’t want to commit suicide.  I’ve even read that the three of them had sex because no one wants to die a virgin, and then she did a bunch of things to look like she knew it was going to happen, because she did.  She even “somehow” saved her brother, who had a gun to his head at one point from several accounts.  I don’t subscribe to anyones version of the situation, because I wasn’t there and I really don’t care.  But when given the basic choices of “Knowing Co-conspirator” or “Teenager with mystical powers”, I’m going to invariably go with the one that’s more likely.

You’re from Boston.  Ever been to Salem on Halloween?  I just went, shit gets crazy there, It’s like being in the North Pole for Christmas, it just feels right. -EricaLamb

I prefer not to support the site of one of the most retarded government-sanctioned murder sprees in the countries history.   But thanks for asking, though.

I am part Japanese, and I don’t consider the word “jap” to be offensive.  -DaGr1lla

I don’t see how anyone could.  It’s like “Jew” or “Brit”.  But some Japanese people do get offended. So, I’ll still avoid the word to not chance bringing someone negativity because I’m not so lazy that I need to shorten a three syllable word.

PS3 fans are loving that party chat was removed from the XBox, but they never had it at all!  How does it feel, fanboy? -5Mt1.

Great, knowing that all my online games have been legitimate, and not open to rampant cheating exposed on the XBox. It’s like someone who has beaten cancer asking someone else “Hows it feel not having Cancer?”  It’s great, and you look retarded for asking such a retarded question.

Would you have to be really bored or have nothing better to do in order to take revenge on someone?  Let’s say someone you love gets killed. You have a 4.0 GPA and have a lot on your plate, maybe even an athletic scholarship. Could you be bothered to seek revenge? Would your decision depend on your itinerary? If I were bored enough I’d enact tons of revenge. -DudeListen

Revenge is not motivated by boredom or an abundance of free time. Revenge is motivated by injustice, and usually comes at the expense of future plans, not in spite of them.  If you aren’t emotional enough to concoct revenge, then you’re just wasting your effort thinking about how awesome it would be if you did.  That’s called a “grudge”.   Revenge isn’t rational. You either sacrifice things to obtain it, or you don’t care enough to do so. That’s it, the only two options.

The What’s What, Volume 74

why does the fbi get involved when people make joke threats concerning the president? doesn’t that violate the first amendment? you can have things like the anarchist’s cookbook but as soon as you make a joke about terrorism the fbi/government gets involved. -skatewaker

Because they want to discourage people joking about it. It makes the real threats easier to spot if everyone is afraid of joking about it.  Which is why anything that makes the news gets investigated, they want everyone to make sure they are on top of it.

I was just playing the most addictive game ever,Tetris. Have you heard of it? -blameradio

My Dad was literally addicted to this game from ’86-’88. We’d have a line of ten year olds ready for a Tecmo Bowl or Double Dribble tournament, and my dad would be sitting there all cracked out “One more game, just one more game,” he’d say.  I mean it was fun and everything, but this dude was playing some puzzles.

Why the hell does it take so long for shippers to process orders nowadays?  Used to,I could get my Amazon order of books in 2-3 days and Walmart orders in the same frame of days but now it takes almost a week to process and to get here to my house. Goddamit,I want my DX book so bad. And my A Bridge Too Far DVD from Walmart. IS IT BECAUSE OF THE ECONOMY?! -TexBox99

After the Back-to-School sales end, all companies get busier for the holiday season. It’s not just people ordering Christmas gifts, its people ordering supplies so that they can make their Christmas gifts to be available in time for the holidays.

So, just STFU already. Back in the day, when you ordered something, it ALWAYS took 4-6 weeks for delivery. So, settle down or get off your lazy ass and go down to the store and get it yourself. Internet purchases are not meant for people who need things immediately.

I’m so damn tired of the health care bill debate..we need to move on to another issue- VinceMcMahonisGod

Personally, I like my issues resolved before moving on to another one. Unless you are an insurance lobbyist, it’s in everyones best interest to complete this issue.  I’m sure we’re all very sorry that you are bored, though. Hopefully the next issue that comes up affects you more. Like gays in the military, or federal subsidies for the next Royal Rumble.

I’m afraid that one day they’ll televise the Special Olympics.  And someone will walk in on me laughing my ass off at the hurdles race. -Mootsghost

I feel like they tried this in the 80s in conjunction with the hooplah surrounding the LA Games.  It got very low ratings. Apparently, people don’t care to watch substandard competition.   And if they do, they can watch the same level of competition at any local rec center on any given Saturday afternoon.  Not saying they aren’t inspirational or anything.  But legitimate competition has historically gotten better ratings than inspiration.

Congress Approves Law Extending Hate Crime Protections to Gays, thoughts?  -Nickelwise

Hate crime legislation fogs issues and makes martyrs of the attackers.  Plus, I personally would feel like a hypocrite asking for special protection when I was fighting for equal rights.   Everyone should be treated equally, end of story.

Bong Water Can Be Illegal Drug, Minnesota Court Rules.  Uh-Oh Twins fans. -Lohanbrau

My basement carpet is a class A felony in Minnesota, I wager.

Wow Kevin and Jennifer really fell apart this week, they ruined restaurant wars. –KennyPowersJetSki

Yeah is was the biggest beatdown in Restaurant Wars history.  The Volt Brothers are gonna run away with this thing.  The QuickFire Challenge with the blind folds and everyone had ten minutes to pick up where the first person left off, was really cool though.   I thought that was creative and ultimately kick-ass, and would love to see it again.

Bill Simmons is the best sports writer out there.  His use of comedy in his artciles are a nice change to the formatic way everyone else writes.   Its in my blood to not like him because he’s a huge celtcs homer and hates the lakers.   Check him out. -JuggledNuts

I’m familiar and very much enjoy his work.  But he’s on the verge of being over-exposed, and a tad self serving for me.  I mean, columns about his retiring Dad and dead dog? Is ESPN his fucking dream journal now?  His podcast is fun, the only thing holding him back is having the voice of a ten year old with strep throat.  I very much enjoyed him on PTI, though.  He dos a great job of portraying genuine passion in what he’s saying, without the phony energy and excitement like some other sports commentators do.

How is Borderlands? You didn’t seem to play it that much. -Glocktypus

It’s a complete failure that we can’t play BorderLands 4-player local.  Some of us have friends within fucking driving distance.   TV’s are big enough to support quad screens way more than the 27″ GoldenEye days anyways.  And how is it that I can play four players online, but not at home?  Complete bullshit.  But yeah, it was fun for a bit.  My PS3 had it’s second YLOD in 3 months with a rented game stuck in the bastard, so Sony is on my shit list.  Customer service replied to my insightful letter with a form email that didn’t help at all.    Service and equipment reliability were two main reasons I felt comfortable investing with Sony to begin with.  I can’t believe I have to actually reconsider Microsoft as being better in those categories.

Your writing sucks.  Your opinions suck.  Why do people care what you have to say? -SabbyGee

I don’t know.  Maybe they don’t.  Maybe they just like seeing their question printed in a blog.  I’m not your thing, that’s cool.  I suggest not reading the column, anymore, though.  If you don’t like Vegemite, don’t eat it.  Problem solved.

The What’s What, Volume 67

How do you get laid at a party?  What do you say?  “Hey, would you like to go to my room?” I mean, that sounds retarded.
Advice? -nivekkevin

Start with a conversation.  And then, after things are going well, act like you’re having difficulty hearing what she is saying and ask her if she wants to take a walk or something.  Walk to your room and invite her in.  I always went after the girls that weren’t really having fun at parties though, because I never really had fun at parties. Loud and drunk are not my things.

How do you keep your head about you after a bad poker beat? -ImmediateComedian

I go in to the game expecting them. You have to. Then, when it happens you aren’t surprised, and can brush them off.

Your favorite moment in “Total Recall”? I cant decide mine, its between the tri-boobed chick or “DAMMIT COHAAGEN, GIVE ZEE PEOPLE ZEE AIR”.  -FuggerSlow

I’m going with the other classic accent modified line “Cahl wan eight-huntret GO TO MAHZ!”

Why do people get insulted by insults?  “Hey you’re gay!”

Option 1: You are not gay, so this person is wrong. Doesnt change the fact that you aren’t gay
Option 2: You are gay, this person is stating a fact. Cool. -MitchHeadpiece

It’s fun to be able to brush them off when you realize that people are just saying what they think will make you upset or angry.   Legitimate criticism from people I care about the opinions of are what really hits home. It’s just so rare.

What do you get when you go to P.F. Changs? -KamchatkaNative

Polynesian Short Ribs in Pineapple Rice.  They took it off the menu, and I haven’t been back since.  Not sure what I’ll get next time.

PS3 Firmware Update 3.0, yay or nay? -GMBrody99

Little of both.  Yay to Dynamic Themes, nay to the new friends listing.  More yay than nay, a majority improvement.

So I was at his house playing poker today and I got totally fucking drunk (i only had 3 four locos but i hadn’t eaten a signle bite of food the entire day so it hit me hard) and he talked me into calling this chick that I’m into and that was really into me until today. He told me to call her and tell her I wanted to fuck her right now and put the phone on speaker which I did, and she said “excuse me”? and then he whispered to me to tell her that she just needs to stop talking and suck my cock, so I did. she then hung up on me. Should I punch him in the face? -SunshineAssociation

LoL @ content to name.  Fantastic. But, your defense of not being responsible for yourself when drunk won’t hold up in court, doesn’t make any sense here.  Regardless, now you know that your friend can’t be trusted to have your best interest in mind when you are drunk.   Welcome to wisdom.

How can you claim True Blood is a vampire soap opera for women?  There’s naked ladies in it! –WolfgangAtari

I watched the first two episodes, told my wife I hated it and werewolves would be along shortly.  Oh, naked ladies, you say like it clears you? You mean like Sex and the City? That was another of your favorites, also? They still are waiting for the return of your man-card at Testicular Headquarters.

Why is it ok for Jesus to die and come back but when other authors do it they get criticized? That book wasn’t even good. -Yayooz

Thank God the Bible didn’t talk about time travel. Think of the movies it would have ruined.