The What’s What, Volume 113

Can you jump and touch your feet? -N1t3M4r3

Is this another fat test?  I thought of one yesterday involving putting your seal belt on with one hand easily, without grunting.  But hold on…..  Yes.  While loud, on the second floor, I can definitely jump and touch my feet.

Fact: There’s no difference between what Vick did and Pokemon.  -RoaRuroken

While hilarious, when the Pokemon travel from gym to gym they aren’t liable to cover intrastate commerce violations, the real reason why Michale Vick went to jail.

Do you know what is with Billy Joel and “We didnt start the fire?” The song has nothing to do with anything.  It’s just a buzzword scat mouth fart. Sounds nothing like any of his other stuff.  Did he lose a bet?  Try mushrooms? -PriorityMale

I was disappointed as a child when I found out that Space Monkey and Mafia were two different entities.  I understood that everything else in the song had ties to history and actual events. I was actually hoping to hear about the wacky misadventures of a 1930s Space Monkey Mafia.

Am I the only one who thinks its a basic, fundamental right to be able to have the wealth you’ve accumulated during your life distributed according to your wishes when you die?  -pokerCHiPs

Yeah, I’m kind of with you on the Estate Tax. The do-nothing kids who inherit the money will just spend it all anyway, or lose it to bad business decisions if they aren’t properly prepared. Therefore, putting it back into circulation or into the government. They’ll run out in a few generations of haphazard management and then the problem will correct itself.  Granted, we’re absolutely kidding ourselves to think that the rich can’t get their money where they want with loopholes and some planning, while when normal people die, it’s gets taxed because they can only afford a will from a lawyer, and no safe havens from accounting firms.  So, no Estate Tax is fine with me.

Would you completely deny a person’s intelligence over a single belief? -EdgeXtyan

It’s not the beliefs that I take issue with, it’s the attitude surrounding them.  If people are going to tell me that I am wrong about a matter of opinion, I question their intelligence. If someone were to tell me they know something for a fact, when the matter is very much in question, I doubt their intelligence.

Rate snow/10 -AmericanBorat

When its snowing 10/10.  When youre trying to get shit done, its brown and salty, and the person in front of you doesnt know how to drive 2/10.

Should Jared Lee Loughner get the death penalty? -Skrillex

I want the victims families to decide.  Give them some choices.  If they want to come up with something of their own, let the judge decide.  I’m all for victims families in these situations.

What’s the best rollercoaster you have been on? -JohnnySprinter

I was just on it a couple weeks ago, the Hulk in Universal.  The way they bring you up a quarter of the incline on a chain and then switch to magnets to give you the 0-70 in 5 seconds going UP THE INITIAL INCLINE is the craziest part of any roller coaster I have ever been on. Hands down the best I’ve ever been on in my 25 years of riding.  I’m no aficionado, though.  Some people take then seriously.

How about them Oscars? -OffenseSupplied

I liked Anne Hathaway, believable Hollywood energy, and she was a good sport, throughout.  Franco seemed disinterested, at best.  Gwenyth Paltrow was terrible.  Complete lack of stage presence, which could be overlooked if she sounded awesome, which she did not. She needs to stop embarrassing herself.  I was a little weirded out by Kirk Douglas.  I didn’t know Dick Clark and the Cryptkeeper had a child, but there he was cracking jokes at the Oscars.  Jesus Christ, he should close the Ark of the Covenant before his face completely melts off.  And then he plays “hand over hand” for his cane with seat filler? Christ Almighty Kirk, no one has played that game for ownership of anything since 1945.  And while I’m ranting, leave Colin Firth alone. He’s a serious guy, no need to be racist about it.  All this negativity, and I still enjoyed it.

 

 

 

 

The What’s What, Volume 13

You are a person with no religion, where do you get your morals? -mafia149

There alot to be said for the instincts of morality.  Alot of people see benefits in supporting others, naturally.

Is it wrong to say that Africa is extremely uncivilized? -Burntcheese

They’re civilized enough to milk retarded Americans from their bank accounts over the internet.  So, they got that going for them.

Is G4 an epic failure of a channel? I flip through it occasionally and it’s. just. awful. I don’t know why it’s still on air.  X-Play sucks donkey balls and is so one-sided it’s not even funny. -RuebenPubes

When a video game channel stops talking down to its audience with immature writing, zany “in your face” hosting, and shaky cameras for extreme effects, the public will not allow itself to take it seriously.  Any industry that thinks its doing its customers a favour by referring to them as and marketing to them as “pimply faced virginal teenagers” is not going to succeed.

Ever since Guitar Hero appeared on the market, people don’t care about Dance Dance Revolution. It just overtook it. But Guitar Hero gives that feeling of being a rockstar.  Still show DDR some love. -HiRoll3r

You mean those idiots dancing all the time in front of people at movie theatres and arcades thinking that people were admiring them when, in fact, they were ridiculing them, gained no tangible positive long-term effects?  All that training in synchronized hopping paid no real life benefits?  I’m shocked.

Would you rather date a stripper or a porn star? On the one hand the porn star would be extremely experienced. Extremely, but the stripper also knows quite a bit of moves. The porn star’s sausage wallet would be way more loose than the stripper, though. Lets say the chances of them having an std is equal. They are equally hot and you can’t have both. -Edamiller

Which ever one would allow me to sit in her house all day, eating her food and playing PS3.

If Toby is really gone from The Office I’ll probably stop watching even though I like Amy Ryan’s character a lot. -Farleylives

I almost peed my pants when Kevin was getting food from the vending machine, and the new HR girl thinks hes retarded.  I love the new angle.  Toby was a wet blanket. Good Riddance.

fargo is such a great movie YA DARN TOOTIN! -hjde4450

You were such a supah lady! *sobs uncontrollably*

i’m thinking of opening a topless barber shop…. i need a name for it and I’m stuck on “a bit off the top” any suggestions? -ChesterBronzekettle

Trim ‘n Trim?

You wake up and the Earth is empty of humans.  What do you do? -SmallFarva

Probably rob a bank first, just in case its temporary.  Then Id probably play Corvette demo derby.  Drive a few luxury sedans full of fireworks off cliffs.  Maybe burn down some places I think suck. It be pretty destructive for a while.  After that I’d probably try to wrap my head around how solar power works, so I can get to handling when the power grid shuts down.

Remember “Who let the dogs out”? -blanketmedia

*Does the macarena*

I’m 17 and waitresses still ask me if I want a “big person” menu at restaurants. What the hell. I hate looking so freaking young. I will be ID’d till I’m in my 40s at this rate. -pokemaniac1311

Tell her “If you want a “big person tip.”  Only really hit “Big person tip” with inflection and finger quotes.  She’ll get the point.  Also, Pokemon e-mail addresses aren’t doing your adult credibility any favours.

Are there any real life facilities that have a self destruct sequence? I don’t know. -P_O_T_G

I read somewhere that the the UberSuper conductor they are building has 24 independent points they can cut off a test with large explosions.  It would destroy the superconductor.

Why do people hate hippies? -Kryogenetix

People just hate preachers. The people that think that their way of living should be imposed on everyone. And hippiedom has a high percentage of preachers; Vegetarians, pacifists, idealists.  Most hippies believe that what they are doing should be the way for everyone. Its the same reason I hate most churchie republicans.