The What’s What, Volume 64

Your issues with the movie Watchmen would be best served by reading the graphic novel.  It was a movie for people who were fans, if you don’t like it, get the fuck out. -JoystickJesus

It’s the same thing with Harry Potter.  Movies are not 2 1/2 hour book commercials.  Movies should be able to stand alone.  If a normal person buys a ticket, pays attention, and leaves the theatre confused on any key point, then the movie has done a disservice to the paying customer.

I noticed you’ve been playing a lot of Fat Princess. What exactly is it?  Is it fun?  There’s no demo. -SeminoldTimer

It’s capture the flag only the flag is a princess that your make more difficult to carry by feeding her cake. Plus there is wizards, priests, warriors, rangers and worker classes to choose from at any point you wish during the game.  Hell yes it’s fun, a mix of button mashing mayhem and strategy.  (Anyone reading this with a PS3, please feel free to send a friend request to MetaCognitionist)

Do you think Bob Saget is funny? I think people only think hes funny because he used to be Mr Tanner and now hes saying bad words.  -MysticalOfficer

Saying shocking things does not necessarily make them funny.  His stand-up is worthless, but his acting is funny. He’s only funny when others write the funny for him.

Is Socom Confrontation the biggest failure of this generation? I mean seriously. Horrible at launch, released with only 8 maps, And still no MAP PACK, COD WAW has 3.   Still waiting for a patch to fix the famas and the clan ladders ,  Not even gonna talk about the inability to shoot out of windows and over rails…. and yet, with all this i played the game like hell for about 4 months, i just recently said fuck it i put it away.   Slant six fails so hard. -LegolassMan

SOCOM is pretty fail. Complete lack of single player or tutorial completely removes the fun for any rookies who haven’t played it.   Plus the installation and load times are shockingly ridiculous.   It’s the only game I have regretted purchasing this generation that’s for sure.

If Jesus had died 20 years ago, Christians would be wearing electric chairs instead of crucifixes. -Sharkaroo

Interesting point. I’m not sure he broke any of today’s laws, though.  Plus we would have visual record of him committing miracles.  I agree that someones method of death is a bad symbol for their lives, if that is your point, but I’m not sure it translates to today’s time.

Wait.. RadioShack is going to be called just “The Shack” now? Bad move.-GermanApologist

Really? You don’t think that the term “Radio” harbors a little bit of credibility issues for a cutting edge electronics store?

Imagine being the children of a porn star???-InfinityZero

I can’t decide what’s worse.  Being a teenage boy and completely mortified to look at porn in case you accidentally see your Mom catching a mouthful from 12 dudes in public.  Or having to deal with your friends that have.  Poor bastards.

Should cops be respected more than the average citizen?-Superdickery

Everyone deserves only the respect they earn. This goes for cops, strangers, your parents, everyone.

Do you usually laugh at your own jokes?  -ManJuiceLunatic

It’s okay to do so if you are being witty and making immediate jokes based on a situation that just happened.  If you write jokes for a living, argue over the proper wording in the writers room, and then laugh while telling them hours later, you are a failure. See Bill Maher, and Jimmy Fallon.

What are your impressions on the Batman: Arkham Asylum demo?-CockoldFart

Fun to play and looks nice. I particularly like the way the game visuals transform into comic book illustrations when you pause the game.  But yeah, there doesn’t seem to be much in the way of replayability, but I’m at least renting the game, for sure.

Oh Boo-fucking-hoo.  Cry about your  ex-girlfriend some more. Way to hold a grudge. –jasonnasojjason

I was asked a question.  I wanted to be clear that her having sex with someone else wasn’t really the problem.  It was that her attitude changed towards me,  she realized this and used me  instead of dumping me.   I’m certainly not holding a grudge against her.  I swear to God, it took me three days to remember her last name, and I’m still not convinced I remember it correctly.  Just because I know from previous experiences that I don’t like the kind of person she is, and we would not get along, doesn’t mean I’m holding a grudge.  It means I let history influence decisions.  I didn’t mean to come off sounding still wounded or anything.  Other people suck too, I’m not losing any sleep over them, either.

you do realize that religion only exists because it’s a trillion dollar industry, right?  -Soggypillow

Just like any other business, most money goes into advertising which never tells the truth.  They should run with something like “Catholocism: Subsidizing teenage nut juggling for over 1500 years.”

Do you think you could take a dump on a chick’s face if she asked you to? I was thinking I could, but not if I liked her and she knew any of my friends though. -DrayDizzle

Wait. Your crapping on a girls face and your worried about what your friends would think ABOUT YOU if she told them? Like you would be the one to be embarrassed in that situation?   “Oh yeah? Well, I’m gonna tell all your friends that you shit on my face! That’ll show you!”

Pepsi & Mountain Dew Throwback will return!! On facebook & twitter Pepsi announced the throwbacks will be making a comeback December 28-February 22.-DataLovesJordi

I loved them both, and will support their return with purchases.  If you are a perceptive reader, thanks for the heads up.  If you are a corporate shill googling where your products are mentioned and sending me a mail to pimp your shit, then fuck yourself with a Coke bottle.

How did your meteor shower night golf event thing go? -Crow754

Great, thanks for asking.  I lost but played well and the weather cooperated.  The group confirmed 8 meteors in 3+ hours.  The only bad thing were the mosquitoes.  It sucks being the only food source available for these bastards within the mile.

Wow, Youkilis really made himself look like a fool… Porcello looks smaller than him too. -CaptDrawers

They both looked foolish.  Porcello backing away with his hands raised leading Youkilis to Porcellos defenders is a bitch move.  But so is throwing your helmet and getting your momentum shifted by someone 40 pounds lighter than you.  It wasn’t a good thing for either of them.

Is Mad Men a good show? I’m interested in the new season, but I’ve never seen it.  -Illegalsubstance

Its in my top 5 right now.  You might want to Netflix the first couple of seasons. Not because the stories are so complex, Im sure you could piece it together. Its mostly awesome because of the sets, acting and the authenticity feel of the writing. I haven’t seen the new season so I’m not sure how much info you would need to follow along.

Have you ever used pages of the Bible or record sheaths as joint paper?-LifeofStrife

Yes. In a hotel while travelling cross country. We used Genesis because we figure everyone already knew that story.

The What’s What, Volume 63

Have you ever tried breast milk after being a baby? -cocakratos

I slept over a friend of mines house and in the morning he put his wifes breastmilk in my coffee. I barely noticed a difference, he thought I was gonna spit it out. When he told me I looked him straight in the eye, drank the rest of the coffee, and told him her boobs were delicious.

NO NOT CHRIS MCKENDRY, Bring back Hannah Storm.  -CircusBest

Both those ladies are worthless for sports reporting.  They are like robots who can’t pronounce athlete names.  Erin Andrews and Linda Cohn own them.

Have you ever hit a girl? -DJBizzle

Yes, twice.   Once, I instinctively slapped a girl who just spit water in my face to prove to her friends she was a bad ass or had the upper hand on me or something.  I’m not exactly sure why, but it was premeditated and juvenile.  And it wasn’t really like I hit her, more like I pushed her by the face, but there was a loud slap.  The other time was because a different girl asked me to several times during sex, so I did.  She had to convince me over time it’s what she wanted, but I eventually did.

A 3some with two 5’s or a 1-on-1 with a 10? -ElectoralUniversity

I have had both experiences. And I’m gonna say the three-way for a couple reasons.

1.) It’s more likely that you get a 10 drunk enough or generally vulnerable enough to plug her at some point in your life time. I have had 2. One as a girlfriend, and another as a one night stand.

2.) One the door is shut and the lights are off 2 sets or hands and holes is just ridiculously fun, and the likelihood you are going to get another opportunity for this is far less likely.

Mind you, during my threesome one was a 6 and the other an 8. But, I can’t ignore my own experiences. I guarantee that if you were really given that option, once its over, you’d regret not picking 2 girls. You’ve had sex with a hottie before. You’ve never been knuckle deep in two girls at the same time, or balls deep in one while being molar deep in the other.

Better Head Coach: Urban Meyer or Pete Carrol? -GestapoMotorCompany

Urban Meyer, 2 reasons.

1.) Recruits well in a really competitive state. Pretty much anyone who is talented and wants to live in Cali goes to USC these days.

2.) Not a proven failure in the NFL.

Name food combinations that sound odd/disgusting but are great in reality. -LynchPin321

Watermelon Sherbet and chocolate chips, my all time favorite.

have you ever been cheated on? If so, did you actually love the girl that did it to you?  my girl did it to me last month, during one of our “down” times. it really hurt me but i took her back… would you ever take back a girl if she cheated on you? -CooliosDreds

Yes, and I was in love with her. I would never have known about the cheating, if she wasn’t blackmailed into telling me by someone she trusted.  I owe the blackmailer a lot, she was the only one offering me the truth, as underhanded as the way she presented it was.

I didn’t have the option to take the girlfriend back. She had already decided to leave me when she started banging other dudes, yes, plural. She just needed me to help her move, get her high, eat her out, and buy her things until she had the nerve to dump me.  I wasn’t upset at the cheating as I was the way she handled it and treated me in the process.  She got a STD test, and I accepted that she cheated on me then, and didn’t really care all that much about the sex.  I was more interested in repairing what made her cheat, but again, she has resigned the relationships failure and portrayed an interest in fixing the relationship to continue taking advantage of my generosity.

Luckily, I had sex with the blackmailer (and unwittingly assisted the blackmail) a handful of times, and I had lost so much respect and just general interest in the ex-girlfriend, because of the callous way she treated me, it became a celebrated blessing that she was gone, never to resurface in my life for even a casual hello.   Again, in my story, I didn’t see the cheating as the serious problem.  It was the way she so easily resigned herself to using and disrespecting me  after advertising to our family and friends how much we were in love at the time that really opened my eyes to the type of person she was capable and, apparently, comfortable being.   That feeling of betrayed trust was far worse than her sleeping with some guy I didn’t like to begin with.

What’s opinion on Gordon Ramsay?-Vadilla

Don’t know, never met him. I have had his food once and it was fantastic.  If he really is how his TV shows portray him, then we would not get along, professionally. I have worked for chefs like him, and don’t react well to that kind of motivation.

So wait… the recession was caused by people buying things they couldn’t afford on credit. So as part of the recovery, the government creates a program where they encourage people to buy cars on credit they normally wouldn’t? You don’t  see a problem with this? -LittleFather

Prius’ don’t cost as much as a two family, 12 acre Colonial in Lenox, Massachusettts, genius.

If the PS3 sold trophies, I’d probably buy one. –OfficerFoster

They’re a good secondary goal if I’m having a good time with the game. It seems like the design, to allow others to see what games you liked by how far you advanced or how much you play them was overrun by farmers. I bet it sells/rents more games so, I bet the developers like that.

I’m in Boston alone. What should I do? -PeriodicLoveseat

Museum of Science is the bomb. Theres usually a few good IMAX movies playing throughout the day. The planet-arium is good there also.

I would also suggest BU Beach. Which is not actually a beach. Its a field next to Storrow Drive behind BU, and when you lie down and close your eyes, the cars driving by behind you over the hill sound like waves crashing. But, hotties tan there during the summer when the kids are out of school.

If you have a GPS go Geocaching and see some cool landmarks and historical sights, if that stuff interests you.

What near-future events are you most excited for? -Josh9515

In order of appearance; The 6th Annual Perseid MeteOpen (a night golf event during a meteor shower), my friends fantasy football draft party, football sundays, fall weather, and Red Dead Redemption.