The What’s What, Volume 1o6

Why Is Catholicism A Punchline And Islam Untouchable?  -WaltWhitesHat

Because old guys who are supposed to be moral leaders turning out to be peepee touchers is ironic, while crashing airplanes and bombing buildings without any direct confrontation or chance to defend yourself is scary.  Not saying it’s right, just how it is as I see it.

I was in third grade when 9/11 happened. I remember coming home and my parents and sister were watching the news all day and I was like wtf is this man, i wanna watch digimon bro. A real tragedy. -Chispart66

I was in Kindergarten and some old guy had come into class to read “My Dog Skip”. He finished it and everything.

Are there any types of prank devices that can disrupt TV signals?  Like to turn off tvs, mess about with random settings, anything like this? -PriorityMale

A universal remote, genius.

So, I saw the Dragon Ball z movie on HBO a couple of days ago.. To call it shit is insulting to human waste.  -amazingbagman

I thought it was a perfect representation of the source material.

More overrated rapper?  Tupac, Eminem, or Andre 3000? -DuSheauwnDre

Tupac, his death made him a martyr. His lyrics were elementary.

Have you seen the 3D optical illusions of children playing they are using as speed bumps in Vancouver?  -Corks

I have not.  However, I don’t think fucking with the eyes and heads of people in charge of 2 ton vehicles is a great idea.

I have been having really fucked up dreams since seeing Inception. I’ve seen the movie three times, and I’ve been dwelling on its concept for a while now and its just such an original and unique film. Since I’ve been obsessed with it I’ve noticed my dreams have been lasting way longer than normal, and I’m remembering so much more when I wake up in the morning. Not to mention I’ve even had a couple lucid dreams where I was in complete control, and the dreams I’ve been having seem so much more realistic. -jbscotchman

I can’t help but pity people who have such an overwhelming emotional reaction to someone else’s fiction that they have to modify their reality.  A seriously unfortunate scenario playing out more and more often. What a herd of vapid, feeble-willed simpletons.

I wouldn’t have given security Brandon Jacob’s helmet either.  It’s not like he’s gonna need it.. But seriously don’t act like they use the same helmet all season.. it’s doubtful that they even use the same one all game.. let the man keep the helmet if the dumb ass is gonna throw it. -Cl3ms0nTigers

I would have told the security people that it’s evidence of an assault in my possession and if I am not catered to, then the NY Giants, Brandon Jacobs, Lucas Oil Stadium, the Indianapolis Colts and the stadium security would all be hearing from my lawyer. I’m not even kidding. When a foul ball or puck goes into the crowd, you get to keep it. If they take it from you, then the player has to trade something to you for it. If security wants it that bad, they should have given him tickets or a jersey or something.  Some giant pissed-off uber-wealthy monster doesn’t get to whip 2 pounds of hard plastic at me without paying for it.

The What’s What, Volume 70

If I told Christians that I am God, Do you think they would give me money?  They seem to believe whatever can’t be proven false. -.Munnkee

If I came into contact with someone claiming to be God, I’d ask for a miracle as proof, and wager Christians would too.  It’s a lot easier and there’s more money in saying you speak FOR God, as opposed to being him.

Would you rather have a Gay son or A Slut daughter? -PalletJunkie

Gay son, hands down.  Having a slutty daughter would mean I failed as a father.  And only uneducated inbred shitcakers would look down on me for having a gay son, and I’m not in the habit of listening to their opinions, anyway.

Favorite constellation?  -DeathReception

Orion. Hands down.  Also, the seven sisters, Subaru.  Not really a constellation, but enjoy scoping it.

“Glee” is such a POS show.  I watched an episode of it, and it was absolutely terrible. I will not be returning to that show any time soon. -Awesomo3k

You mean a show cobbled together to ripoff the popularity of the “High School Musical” seems forced and cliched? Who would have thought?

The Overhead or Bicycle Kick Is The Most Spectacular Way To Score A Goal In Any Sport.  You have to be a Ninja and good at football to score a goal like that. I dont think any other sport has a move that can win the game as cool as the overhead kick. -HamTam

I would give that nod to either the alley-oop, or that kid from Michigan who lacrossed the puck onto his stick and into the goal from behind the net over the goalies shoulder.

Remember when the Bushbots called French Fries “Freedom Fries”?  LoL.  -DJJazzyJim

It’s astonishing to me how “Russian Dressing” made it through the Cold War.

What do you think when you hear stories like the one that happened last week in Kansas city, “HS team gives up shutout to allow player with Down Syndrome to score TD”? -PTYarnem

I think that if I was that kid, I would have rather had a 3 yard run that I earned than a TD I didn’t.   Kids with a chance of actually making that TD play but were never given the opportunity were passed up so Donnie could walk 12 yards.  Let him join a special league for kids like him or treat him like everyone else.

I turn 21 next week and I have no idea how bars work. What drinks should I get? How much money should I have pulled out? -FluffyBuster

If you are going to one bar. Show them your ID and ask for a free drink. A lot of places will buy you a drink on your 21st. Tip big early and drink those all night.  Otherwise, bar hop and get free drinks everywhere. The most economical strategy because you’ll likely get a lot of free drinks and you don’t have to tip big because you are leaving soon to go to another bar anyway.  Congrats, have fun, and stay healthy.

Bush was an idiot, I get that, but when he was reading to the kids on 9/11 why’d he get flack for finishing the story? What did all of you expect him to do? It seemed like the only intelligent thing to do considering how little information he got, was to finish what he was doing, not cause any alarm, and leave. -SydneyPortopotty

“Kids, thanks for having me here today. Your teacher is going to finish the story for you. While you are important to me, I’m being told there is an issue that I have to take care of right now. The President is a busy man, thank you for understanding. It was great meeting all of you.”

He deserves the flak he gets for this issue, in my opinion. The Presidents job is to handle crisis’, not read to school children. That 7 minutes he spent is 7 minutes people were waiting for every decision that needed to be made by him. When those decisions get pushed back, another 7 minutes worth of decision get pushed back another 7 minutes. He’s the decider, after all.

Corporations or Government? Who do you trust more?  -ChaChaWoodruffisretarded

When government screws the littles, it’s called “Corruption”.  When cooperations screw the littles, it’s called “Longterm fiscal solvency solution.”  Government by 10 lengths.