The What’s What, Volume 117

Why do so many MLB players not swing 3-0?  Very often you’re getting a fat meatball of a pitch down the middle of the plate. The highest level I ever played was HS ball, but I always swung 3-0 if it was a good pitch to hit. This always bothered me that MLB hitters just pass on what is likely to be the most hittable pitch they’ll see in the whole game.  -VendinglyIlluminated

I completely agree. They should, AT THE VERY LEAST, be expecting a meatball to crush. I see alot of 3-0 meatballs that go by because the manager demands another click to the opposing pitch count. I’m all for working a pitcher long, but also have never understood the pitch count argument in that situation.  I get the “next two pitches might be a ball” angle, but still feel like the rewards are worth the risk.

Why do men who pose for Playgirl do so without boners? I mean if it’s without boners then it’s kind of not telling the whole story. -Trezzk2

Good point, never thought of that.  My first instinct is to note that it would seem like people whod want to look at pictures of naked men for sexual arousal, would want those men sexually aroused.   But, whatever. Not my canoe, so I’m not wasting any time paddling.

Fuck you, Texas.  I dunno why but I felt compelled to say that. -Tricky70930

I had a fair time when I went. The people were nice enough. And the BBQ, while good, I’ve always preferred the saucy version of Tennessee and the Carolinas. I also disagree with some of their politics, but it’s a fine place and I’d welcome the chance to go back.

 Is it acceptable to eat dessert after lunch? – somerandomguy

I say Yes, unless you’re fat.  Then, you are inviting ridicule.  You can wait an hour or so and call it a snack, legally.  Of course, this is all hinging on the fact that it’s a lighter dessert than one would expect at dinner, since lunch is a lighter meal that dinner.  You can’t have a cup of soup and a bakery tasting sampler at the break room table or anything.

I Showed My Gynecologist Friend, Who Specializes In Women Over 70, Your Blog Yesterday…He said it’s the worst thing he’s ever seen.  -Adsimbenefits

I am shocked bordering disbelief. Why a doctor would focus on a human organ that doesnt work anymore is completely over the scope of my understanding. What kind of gynecologist specializes in the elderly? The malfunction rate on a human female 75 year old uterus has to be around 100%. It’s like rebuilding a god-damned BetaMax. Even if you get it working, theres nothing you can put in it. Wait. Not the best analogy. Hold on. It’s like calling a mechanic for that car you have under a tarp in your garage for the last 20 years, but it runs on moon rocks.  Why not deliver babies? Why not try to give a middle aged woman the chance at motherhood? Seems counter-productive to me, is all. Not only is that gross, but he must suck.  He just slides off their panties, takes a dust buster to the wrinkly cooters, tosses in a couple moth balls and charges Medicare $300?  I hope you didnt let him use your keyboard.  I kid, tell him thanks for reading.

SCENARIO: You can ENHANCE one part of your body with CYBERNETICS.  Which body part do you choose?  Which body part do you choose?  Derk@_Derk@

While it would be very cool to have super eyesight or hearing for the rest of my life.  Can I cheat and wait until something starts to fail, and use it on that?  For a guaranteed second lease on life for even the slightest amount of time?  I’d do that.  What a rare gift.

I know hes dead and everything but Greg Giraldo wasnt that funny.  this i only my opinion of course….maybe i just didnt understand his schtick.  -OffenseSupplied

While I enjoyed his roast work, people overstepped his impact and success in the days after he died.  I can’t blame them, and it’s am amazing common phenomenon.  Don’t let it get to you.

Should I buy a Kindle? -prusion3126

While it’s my favorite stand-alone e-reader, not if you can hold off. The prices have continually decreased since their inception. Eventually, people believe it will be more cost effective to give them away with the purchase of 5 books, or opening an amazon account or something.  Unless you are getting an iPad or a tablet to does other things, hold off as long as you can to save hundreds of dollars, and gain years of technological advancement.

People who aren’t registered organ donors shouldn’t be able to be put on an organ waiting list.  They shouldn’t be able to receive donated organs if they aren’t willing to do the same.  -BroncksBommahs2

This isn’t a take-a-penny, leave-a-penny pot luck supper. Usable organs should go to those that need them, end of story.

The What’s What, Volume 96

The “Imperfect Game”.  Discuss. – KrazyIvan82

If Bud overturns last nights major fuck up, then I want him to go back to September 7th 1984 and over turn the official scorer who gave a base hit to a cubs hitter when Ray Knight bobbled the ball at 3rd base and was unable to get off a throw. That is an error. Dwight Gooden should have a no hitter.  I also want him to go back to 2008 when Marlon Anderson was called out for illegal contact on a slide against the Phillies that would have resulted in the winning run being scored. So at the least the Mets and Phillies would have been tied at the end of that season and they should have gone to a 1 game playoff.  YOU CAN NOT OVER RULE THE CALL ON THE FIELD UNLESS YOU ARE PREPARED TO RIGHT ALL THE WRONGS THAT HAVE HAPPENED IN BASEBALL OVER THE LAST 120 YEARS.  -VendingLights

No you cannot. The technology wasn’t there to fix it. And those situations you described are totally different.  One would have changed the celebrations of millions of fans.  Can’t do that.   And the other is a judgment call by a  scorer.  I’m sorry bad calls happened to your favorite team, they happened to everyone’s favorite team over the years equally.  But let’s not let past mistakes validate present ones.

You CAN fix the “imperfect game”.  While people benefited from those other calls you mentioned, absolutely NO ONE benefits from the tragedy. It’s a complete disaster for every single person involved.  There is indisputable evidence and admissions and apologies from the Umpire, Jim Joyce. This is the perfect place for Bud Selig to fix it and won’t. 100% of people who saw the play concede/believe its a perfect game. The only thing that says otherwise is the box score.  Shame on him and anyone else lauding “human factor” as traditionalism. You are advocating that incorrect history be written instead of admitting you were wrong.

So whats the going rate for male adult actors in bukkake porn? -igetbet

Seriously? I wager a free blow job from a hot girl whos expectedly good at it and assurances to keep your face out of the video is the only compensation a lot of the guys get.

Saul is the best character in Breaking Bad no doubt.  Dude’s a real bro I love it -skeetskeetsk33t

Why was the last episode of Breaking Bad basically 53 mintues devoted to a fly? -malpractcevctm

Saul might be the greatest character on TV right now.  It always pisses me off when people don’t listen to him.  And, the fly episode was okay. I see what they are going for, but it seemed a little long and forced. I think the writers could have saved the twenty minute monologues from Jesse about a possum, I mean “an opossum”, and Walt trying to figure out what time was best that he died. Those really dragged on.

Some shows are good at the random episode direction and theme, like House. They do the best job ever, and sometimes it’s still a little clunky. I just wish 2 or 3 good seasons didn’t give the writers the right to change whats been working for them, under the guise of art.  It’s like they don’t do “special episodes” where a character gets hooked on drugs for an episode anymore, and clip shows are lazy, but they still have to “mix it up” for some reason, so they have to be pretentious about it, and go with arty, to validate their schooling or something.

Did you watch the LOST finale?  You must have something to say. -CanadiAnne

I did.  People have been talking about how the writers had to sew up all these crazy loose ends for 4 years, and I decided I’d be able to tell how happy fans were by how ridiculous and pretentious the ending was.  And it seemed to me like fans would not be happy.  It was kind of a creative cop-out.  Apparently, the writers had the first fantastic season written and concluded, and when it got popular, they had to scramble to extend it.   See Prison Break, Heroes, etc…. Sometimes they do it right and reserve the ending, other times they take liberties to keep curiosity peaked and have set the story too far out to write their way out of it, a la Lost. The writers left holes in the plot because they needed to keep curiosity peaked throughout the years and weren’t good enough writers to figure out something sensible.

People who claim to understand some deeper profound ending like they are smarter than everyone else and are touting this failure as genius are those who love and championed the shows to others so loudly that they can’t give the appearance of being let down. Here’s a litmus test. If you ask a writer what a vague ending he wrote meant and he says, “What do YOU think it meant?” That’s pretty much the best sign that the work is a massive failure.

Most people who vote democrat are suckers just saying if you vote dems for reasons other than being black and not rich and not giving money (which will in turn bone the population as a whole at least a little bit but does not keep money in your pocket)… you are either a biggot or a retarded sucker just saying. -nutsh0t

And in turn the Republicans are masters of getting poor uneducated retards to give their money to corporations, so the CFO’s daughter can get heated seats in her 16th birthday Bugatti.  Thank God poor people love God and hate gays so much.  The real failure here?  Is that you don’t understand that your vote is only choosing who gets to screw you, like your opinion makes a difference.  Vote 3rd party.

dude.  wtf is up with bitches laughing over Paul Gray, slipknot bassist’s death? you’re a stupid fuck if you show no sympathy for someone dying just because you didn’t like the band. -MezzDupp

Human nature dictates you celebrate the stoppage of things you dislike, no matter how unfortunate the reason, nor how much you disagree with it.  He didn’t know your name.  Try not to get so worked up over it.

What exactly is American Culture?  Racism, obesity, gullibility?  -OptimalShag

Well, other countries consider American movies and music to be the greatest export the Earth has to offer.  So, you kind of sound bitter for not recognizing such an obvious concept.

Great job pepsi, giving 25,000 to a 12 year old. For the idea of “Putting a sheet of plexiglas in front of buses to increase aerodynamics to save gas”What a worthy cause! So genius! And what a great use of 25,000 dollars! -BladerX

I’ve also seen this.  The “Green Screen”, right?   What a bad idea. No one wants anything even remotely obscuring a SCHOOL BUS DRIVER. The Pepsi-blue school bus they enlisted for the event DIDN’T EVEN HAVE ONE. The whole thing is a fucking sham.  School buses don’t even go high speeds for long periods of time, everything is stop and go on residential roads.  Complete failure.   If that’s among the best they had offered, Pepsi should have scrapped the campaign and donated the money to putting solar panels on a school or something.  What a disaster.

The What’s What, Volume 69

That new Cowboy Stadium is something.  -TheMichiganKid

Jerry Jones’ two Opening Acts last night for his new house were Jordan Sparks, Daughter of opponents New York Giants and franchise Hall of Famer, Felipe Sparks. And GW Bush, arguably one of the greatest Presidential failures in recent history.   Sure, they are from Texas, but it’s a big place. Seemed like a set-up for eventual football embarrassment.

As we were watching the game they showed John Madden and former Pres Bush chatting in a luxury box and my buddy said “If Jim Rome were in that mix, Frank Caliendo would have had a heart attack.”  I’m still laughing.

I hate football season.  Its not that I dislike football, but when the only baseball highlights i see are on the top ten plays, it gets really annoying. -Belgianrofls

I watched SportsCenter this morning and saw plenty of full-game baseball highlights.  Please note that you sent this on Tuesday, and Monday is one of baseballs off days. You’ll get Wednesday-Saturday back, settle down. Football is only on for like 30 days a year.  Baseball is what, 250 days worth?

FACT: if you update your facebook status/twitter twice a day or more, you’re a fucking moron -Dustyahoo

I wouldn’t say they are morons. But they are attention whores, for sure.  If they really think people care what they are up to 3 times a day, that’s what makes them morons.

I love how the media doesnt care about what Obama said rather that some douchebag was disruptive with two words.  -Considerate_Wanderer

It’s almost like it was planned that way, no?   One small ambitious shitcaker could move the debate to him and his feelings on how he’s standing up for what’s right, with a simple two word outburst on the biggest stage available.

He’s Joe the Plumber and Town Hall Meetings all over again, rolled up into one, and the media expectedly eats it up because they licked their plates clean last time.  You can’t really act shocked.  It’s called “Stealing Thunder”.  And it’s a pretty common technique to distract, these days.

I heard someone say on the radio yesterday that Americans often follow the player rather then club.  Is this true? -ShadowRunKevin

From my experience, it exists but is uncommon.  I find that this phenomenon is existent only in American basketball.  At least , I’d say it’s more common than the other sports, but still the vast majority of fans are team fans. 8:1 I’d say.

In WW68 you said “Why the government hasn’t made stashes of parachutes a legal requirement for floors higher than the 15th floor after this incident is completely beyond my scope of understanding.”

You can’t understand high school level physics?

Skydivers pull the cord very far from the ground so that their acceleration and velocity have time to slow down. That just isn’t possible with a regular parachute. It’d have to be huge and there’d be a ton of complications like getting stuck.

Most jumpers pull at > 3000 ft to have time to slow down, the biggest building in the world would be a comfortable landing, but most other skyscrapers are less than half that size. -limited_skillz

I’ve seen base jumpers from 150 feet. Thats 15 floors. Your move, Stephen Hawking.

Lol, Jeff Hardy finally got arrested. -rex1440

This isn’t even rock bottom for him.  That’ll come in a few months when he listens to his album sober.

Caster Semenya sanction would produce “third world war”, says South African Minister.  I have to admit, I thought Germany would be the cause of WWIII…their track record for World Wars was hard to ignore.  -CoachGenero

As far as starting world wars, I’ll put “female with penis wins running race” between the invasion of Poland and the assassination of Ferdinand, in terms of legitimacy.

What’s up with black people and turning display radios in electronics stores up really loud? -good_pork

Because their ears have been damaged over time due to extended interactions with the loudest thing on this planet, black women.  But seriously, if you like your music loud and are shopping for a stereo, then you should test it loud.

Most underrated snack item? -Crow754

Unfrosted, untoasted, Blueberry PopTarts.

Scenario: you jump out the nearest window to you, how hurt would you get? Let’s assume the smash through the glass does no damage to you; only the fall. -AllHailHypnotoad

Great Question.  Into bushes after 3 foot fall.  Some scratches, embarrassment and pissed off animals later, I’m fine.