The What’s What, Volume 118

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Why so negative on critics? -Lightfroodom (and like 4 others this year)

I’ve taken a lot of heat from people who like to read reviews and use them to make decisions on the movies/music/food they are going to ingest. Most bloggers and  journalists call themselves “critics” when they are actually “reviewers”.  I have no problems with critics, and have only read a few in my life.  Everyone is talking about reviewers, let’s make that clear.  And for the most part, I’m slightly offended that they think their opinion is more important than any other person.   On matters of opinion, seeking someones out who doesnt even know you exist is pretty retarded, in and of itself.  I concede the information earned is useful.  To me, it’s about as much worth as asking someone on the street what they think, and I don’t find it an efficient use of my time.  If I really wanted to make it worth it, I’d have to invest hours of months reading a target critics past reviews to see if they jive with my opinions.  Or I could ask a few friends what they thought.  This only has the maximum possible effect of raising or lowering the bar of my expectations.  Why so little stock into friends opinions?  And heres the important part.  Because I’m going to see the movie, AND MAKE MY OWN DECISION ANYWAY.   I would much rather have a couple disappointments in exchange for happy surprises, and in by doing so, I’ve doubled my life experience regardless of the outcome.  Unfortunately, you  have either completely limited your scope of opinion by watching only movies you like, or have wasted your time reading reviews because you are watching bad movies anyway.  In short, the time you waste reading reviews can be spent WATCHING THE MOVIE.

You’ve got so many weirdos in show business that encourage people to be weird. And they’re not being different because they ARE different, they’re being different because they WANT to be different and they WANT to stand out. They’re not even being themselves, they just want to be unique, so they act weird. In my opinion, this kind of crap is contributing to the corruption of television, music, any popular culture medium. People aren’t programmed to be as competitive as before because losing is ok. And don’t worry if you’re fat because you should love the way you are.  Let me know if you agree with me or think I’m an ignorant ass. -Razkizzle

I’m with you. Now that there’s so much variety, and its becoming more and more accepted, the only thing for tomorrows generation to get noticed in this way is to turn up the volume on the craziness.  Granted, being different for difference sake is a copout, because its admitting that you dont have any redeeming qualities to show off, but that’s not going to stop you from being an attention whore, so the only way to get noticed is to act like something you aren’t.  When people do things for “shock value” I find it offensive to people who are actually different trying to get accepted.   It’s counter-productive, and only exists because people want attention.  When the people who are different, just want to be accepted.  Kind of sad, more than anything, really. 

what is it called when you go by one name, like Pele and Madonna? Mononomial?  Mononomous?  -LBJ1230

Egotistical.

Do you enjoy spitting in the face of God after everything he has given you? -RamboSpice

I don’t see my form of atheism as disrespectful.  I don’t pity Christians, I envy them.  I continually hope and pray that God fills the requirement of proof that he instilled upon me so that I may follow him. My heart is open and patient.  In the meantime, affix any label you wish to me, if it makes you feel better about yourself and the choices you have made.

What do you think would be the most epic magic trick that David Blaine could do to make beleivers out of you and everyone else? -HackneyandChase

Break into the Oval Office, and he should expect and serve jail time or else I’d think it was an inside job with help from the Secret Service.  He wouldn’t even have to do it live on TV or anything.  Just a CNN breaking news story that David Blaine was arrested after President Obama went into work in the morning with a paper and a cup of coffee, and David Blaine is playing fucking Minesweeper on LapTopOne.  I wouldn’t be a believer, I’d be a disciple.

my parents left me seven dollars and the house to myself WHAT DO I DO -ButtersBrown

$7? Are they THAT poor or are you really THAT untrustworthy?

Happy Birthday!  Who’s your favorite person born on the same day? -CanadiAnne

Thanks!  I got a great list of celebs; Patrick Stewart, Harrison Ford, Cheech Marin, and Tony Kornheiser.  Harrison Ford is probably the most popular, but ever since I saw Patrick Stewart on that episode of Extras, he’s raised the bar to new heights of personal respect of acting performances.  Even Cheech was the best character in what is the greatest chick flick of all time, Tin Cup.  Just a strong showing from Bastille Eve.

Would you date a girl who wants to wait till marriage to have sex?  she loves you very much, and you love her as well. your relationship is perfect and you get along amazingly well, and she’d never do anything to hurt you. however, she wants to wait till after marriage to fuck. what do you do? -OprahsEvilTwin

Yes, because the three times I have been in that exact situation I’ve consumed their virginity like the Highlander in, at the longest, 6 months.  Didnt even need any pressuring. One of them even had crippilingly religious parents, and was devoted herself. It’s a confusing time for girls. All they need is one train of thought one day when you are already molar deep in her. One wavering thought, while your knuckle deep in her hopper, and it’s over.  One slight consideration of “Okay” among the hundreds of times you are pleasuring her, and she convinces herself while you are busy with your mouthful, you win.  Go get you some.  Plus, if she’s perfect she’s worth marrying.

What do you think of people claiming that it was the editing and context that made Billy Mitchell come out looking bad? fullquietcasket

They are probably right.  I’m sure some of his more endearing scenes made the cutting room floor.  That being said, when your parents are telling camera crews that you have constantly manipulated situations to your own benefit, it’s a pretty damning character testimonial.

If we found out Osama Bin Laden went to Heaven, would that change peoples religious beliefs? -quartermohican

I figured he’s knuckle deep in his 72 virgins. He doesnt get heaven, he wasnt Christian. He was martyred by the Western infidels and he gets the Islamic versian of heaven.   He played by the rules of his religion, he saved up the stamps, he gets to redeem them for the slide whistle.  It’s how religion works. You win the prize of the game you play. You don’t get the Stanley Cup for winning the Super Bowl.