The What’s What, Volume 78

The Chinese have devised a way to eat a fish while it’s still alive, not raw, alive.  The video shows a fish on a plate gasping for air while 2 Asian couples giggle while peeling out his sliced insides with chopsticks.  It’s the most disturbing video I have ever seen.   -Awesomo3k

I found a video like you described on LiveLeak, though I will not link it.  I can’t help but feel apathetic to the fish there, struggling to suffocate, wishing someone would eat his brain.  If anything positive comes from this video, it’s knowing that when fish evolve legs, guns, lungs, and language; they will gladly push me and my family aside to peel apart some Chinese family and eat them alive while giggling in front of me.

What’s your opinion of Kristen Stewart? -CryYoung

Until this recent Twilight mayhem, I thought her and Jena Malone were the same person.  Both are attractive, one is outrageously richer than the other.  I don’t know either of them personally, so I can’t really offer any personality observations.

Is the Catholic Church full of perverts and molestors? -wool21

Of course not. It’s Gods plan that his servants enjoy some tiny nut juggling.  If He did not, then why did God create such handsome and easily manipulated little boys?

I’m thinking about becoming a chef, tell me more about the kitchen industry. -AllenBro

It’s complete hell. You work 10 hour days in wool jackets in front of 500 degree ovens and stoves in summertime with no air conditioning. You work when everyone else you know is having fun; nights, holidays and weekends. It’s a thankless job that deals with hungry people, not the most patient kind of human. You come home smelling like sweat and raw fish, only if you are doing it right.

Otherwise, you do end up with an amazing amount of respect from people. Everyone likes to eat good food. Waitresses are easy, likely college aged, and are usually hot and/or super nice, because they make their money from tips. If you work at a place that doesn’t promote you working either while high or drunk, then you have found the exception. It’s a job that’s ALWAYS available, in any city, state or country.

And you know all the inside tricks to a Restaurant. You learn to avoid restaurants on Mondays, because thats the day off for a vast majority of head chefs, and the specials are just leftovers from whatever didn’t sell on the weekend. That’s just one of the useful 50 tips I gleamed from being a chef.

Do you really answer every e-mail? –Carmelodious

Yup.  Either in the blog or via reply e-mail.  Sometimes, I haven’t formulated and opinion on something because of lack of information.  A lot of music questions go this route, I’m not up on a lot of bands.  A couple times people have asked they I do not blog their letter for whatever reason, and I’ll send a personal reply.  Other than that, everything is run through the blog.

Why don’t you ever talk about Metacognition? -CanadiAnne

Judging from my failed novel sales, no one is interested.  Also, people use the words for a lot of different meanings.  My experience with metacognition is figuring out how you interpret information to manufacture new opinions, and improving your outlook by regulating your feelings.  I simply think about an issue, and then disregard the first few obvious reactions to get through the knee-jerk reactions everyone else seems to stop thinking at.  Whatever notions are left are to be consolidated into an original thought.  Just a way of being sure you are able to see situations in a unique way.

If you are interested in regulating your feelings, I suggest renting or purchasing the movie “What the *Bleep* Do We Know?”  It explains much better than I could about how your mind works and how you can remove guilt and other unwanted feelings from your life.  Once you figure out that “venting” is about the most destructive thing you can do for yourself, the rest seems to all make sense.  At least, that was my experience.

Ever been to CiCi’s pizza? -rex1440

Yeah, I went when I was in Florida. It wasn’t the best of atmosphere, bunch of red neck kids running around half naked, blowing water at each other through straws with parents who were too interested in stuffing another dozen bread sticks into their purse.  But if you can eat with white trash around, the mac n cheese pizza was aces.

Why exactly do a vampire and a werewolf wanna bang a teenager? -glidemonkey

If you were immortal, you are saying you could find something else better to do then spend your eternity in HIGH SCHOOL?  I think not, sir.

Whats your favorite food to eat while playing video games? -thecheezythree

Nothing. I try to keep my controller free of oil and crumbs at all times. Even the slightest hint of tactile distraction on the controller forces me to wash it or use another one.

The What’s What, Volume 15

Do they make machines that suck your penis, a male equivalent to the sybians females have? -Clitorious

I wouldn’t go so far as to call your Mom “a machine”. But shes good. *Zing*

why do republicans support israel anyway? what has israel ever done for us? -CrunchyGoings

AIPAC gives lots of money to American Democracy. Plus, we need a friend over there in the Octagon they call the Middle East. Also, Christians preparing for the rapture need Jerusalem to be under friendly control for when Jesus comes back.

Have you ever seen someone get hit by a car? I haven’t, but my dad told me that when he was a kid, he saw a guy get hit by a trolley and he exploded. The guy’s head landed right next to my dad. -RazinBrand

I watched a girl who sat next to me in English class absolutely DECIMATE this 5 year old girl at a busy intersection near the school. The little girl just ran out in the road of a 45MPH zone. The little girl went FLYING, like 20 feet up in the air and like 50 feet down the street.

I never saw the girl driving the car again. She didn’t go to jail or anything. I know she quit school because she was so affected by the incident. She doesnt drive anymore either. I don’t know if thats a punishment given by the state or anything.

Why are Juggalos Hated On So Much? This is coming from a Juggalo. It seems I been getting more crap then ever… -Paymaster

Its like they ripped off the Kiss army. A gimmick that was cheesy in the 70s has a place with rapping chuckleheads today, somehow. You put on matching make-up to claim individuality. A ridiculous, hypocritical act of attempted shock value. A friend of mine is a juggalo, he’s cool, so I can’t bash too much. Clowns aren’t cool, lets just leave it at that for now.

Would you rather be deaf, or be a mute? -DitShip

Its difficult to understand a word deaf people are saying anyway. Ill go with mute.

Fact: Some girls with boyfriends sometimes try their best to avoid good looking guys. Those that don’t are usually sluts… -JillytheKid

I chased all the hot I could in college. The majority of those relationships ended in “cheating”. I then found a girl who treats me like a king and would make a great mother. I married her, and regret nothing. It’s tough to get anything meaningful other than an ego boost from sex with an attractive person.

Don’t you hate when people try to shove philosophy down your throat? Especially when there philosophies come from books by guys who have no idea what the fuck they’re talking about and are only known because their book was featured on Oprah. -Saladify

Some people let “brain gum” take up far too much of their time. Being a realist can have similar spiritual recognitions. But, I like the occasional philosophy discussion, metacognition mostly.

Do people really not care enough to pick up after their dog? I swear to god, I just saw this huge pile of dookey in my lawn that was the bigger than my dog’s entire head when walking him this morning. Absolutely ridiculous. For Chirst’s sake, I wouldn’t even have minded if the guy would’ve come up to my front door, rang the door bell and asked for a sheet (or 10) of toilet paper so he could pick his own **** (lol) up. -GaryQueen

You think people should care enough about YOUR lawn that they should pick up their dog shit? I couldn’t blame anyone for not caring about your lawn. Even you. People should be picking up after their dog because its the right thing to do, not because your majesties pristine lawn demands it.

I met a live crack dealer today. He’s our new maintenance man at work. I talked to him on break and he told me that he sells crack. Though he claims to have never touch the stuff, he said people are fiends. He even claimed selling it to his own mother. He seems like a nice guy too. He has a wife and three kids, and is some trainer at a local karate center. He also told me his wife is a stripper. -GrainusMax

You should ask him where you can find $5 BJ’s and be the hit of your friends.

Nice get, though, seriously. Its important to have a network that dabbles in all sorts of areas. You can get a lot of things done for yourself or others, along with helping out causes you feel for. As long as you don’t show judgement or, in this case, get hooked on crack, it’s a great catch. Maintain the friendship, or at least leave on good terms.