The What’s What, Volume 23

Fill in the blank: It would be crazy if ______________ died. – salgoode125

Both Obama and McCain

Every month I pit two unlikely teachers against each other in a no holds barred death match and size up the two teachers (listing pros and cons and student testimonials) and its been a big hit so far, the only problem is that I need a catchy name.  -RJsquared1

Either “Class-Whoopin'” or “TeacherDome: 2 people enter, one gets SCHOOLED”

I don’t understand people who hate on people for tats/piercings. This kind of attitude is best left to 1952 and the Cold War. In any case, tats and piercings are older than Jesus. Literally. -CrunchyBjorg

Because shock value doesn’t make you an individual, it makes you a tool box with a bunch of piercings.  Stop trying to scare old people.

What’s funny, is frats in real life are actually a lot crazier than they are in movies. -Labradator2020

I spent about 17 years dreaming of entering a frat, and another 4 days to dismiss them completely without care during pledging.  I can’t believe the stuff people did for whatever reason. I had immediately decided to salvage my dignity and live in the dorms.

I see nothing unethical about shopping at Wal-Mart. Anyone who does has too much time on their hands. -Batistaownsjoo

I think it’s great that white-trash and poor people alike can come together and buy processed barded chicken and one-ply onesie outfits at the same place I go to get video games at 1 o’clock in the morning twice a year.

I just sat on my balls. That pretty much sums up how my day’s been going. -Nullset001

Jesus, I know, right! Bad positioning, there.  You think evolution would have done something to help us out by now.

I didn’t think it was possible.  but I am officially sick of blow jobs.  -ckickenkicker

Yeah, your jaw must be sore by now.

Rate a snack: Funyons -liddle_e

The first dozen or so are okay. They get salty and weird quick.  The texture is weird too. Too puffy.  I like the flavor of those first few, though.  7/10

OMG Pecan moved out of my Animal Crossing town! -SenatorNook3

My wife booted up the GC version recently and the animals yelled at her for not visiting in 147 weeks.

I have tan lines.. from my flip flop straps -Un_Jm_Lmy

If you are a girl, thats funny, and even a little cute.  If you are a guy, thats like the nazi flair for retards.

Age old question: Who shot first; Han or Greedo? -McCanadianEh

Greedo never shot at all. He was far too dead to return fire.  The question itself is a fallacy.

Highschool changes people. I used to know this really cool girl rocker who was fun to hang out with and go to concerts with. Highschool comes she hangs out with different people and shes acts likes some preppy bitch now who hates rock music and now listens to pop  from grade 9-10 I havent really talked or hung out with her. shes too busy with her other friends -blder34co

Experience changes people.   99% of the times, its for the better.  Quit being selfish, your friend is improving herself.  I’m sure she’s sorry its not to your approval, maybe she’ll apologize when she starts caring.  It probably wont happen soon, what with you all the way up there on that high horse of yours.

Who is your favorite Muppet? He might be the straight laced leader, but I’m still for Kermit.  Sweetums comes in a close second  -polmyra43

I’ve always been pro Rolf. For no particular reason. Seemed like the only Muppet I could trust. Plus, you know he smokes bongs. He never seemed to get enough play.

The What’s What, Volume 16

If you were to go on a killing spree, how many people do you reckon you could take out… …before getting killed yourself or arrested? -FartAttakk

I bet I could kill a handful of people and not get caught. I just choose not to. If I was going for body count it would have to be explosives. People realize they should run from the sound of gunfire, limiting your potential targets. I would probably come up with an elaborate super-villainous plan of separate explosions timed to go off together in a variety of popular locations, and blow myself to bits in the basement of my house setting it up because I don’t know shit about explosives. Which is why I don’t try. Well, that and the fact that I’m adverse to killing nameless faceless innocent people for no reason.

Anybody who tries to argue that the confederacy was about southern pride is an idiot, as the vice president himself outlined the fact that the ideology that it revolved around was slavery. Those arguments that they show every year on the news while they re-enact their civil war are BS. -Shanadu

I never understood people that are proud of losing a war. I mean, sure, I’m still a Bruins fan, so I understand the concept of loyalty. Just seems foolish to be exposed in public and claim righteousness in private.

My Aunt died in February. My Uncle is getting remarried already. I don’t know what to think of it other than I think he’s making a decision based on grief but I could be wrong. It just seems so messed up. -off-da-hook

I know, you should totally get a say in how your Uncle copes with grief and seeks happiness.

If you were a leader, would you rather be loved or be feared? -DrRamone

If your departure or death results in happiness in people, you were/are a cancer on humanity. This is true for anyone; King, Boss, Father, or Friend.

Brick killed a guy – ToyFair

That really escalated quickly.

now that hilary is out, have you decided on who youd vote for president? -BellicanPay

The last 8 years have brought nothing but resentment and distrust of my own government.
Ill probably give a shot to the guy with no experience, because all my previous experience with experienced leaders has been unpleasant.

Name one place you’d like to visit at least once during your life. -Emileezer

Ive been pretty much everywhere Ive wanted to go. Id like to see Dubai and stay at their hotels. But the plane ride would drive me mental.

Gay athletes shouldn’t be allowed in the same locker room. I have nothing against gay people but I don’t think they should be allowed to……unless I am allowed in girl locker rooms. -iPhony

Im as liberal as they come, but you have good point. Bathrooms were set up in gender roles to prevent insecurity from interested eyes. Honestly, I would feel less self-conscious naked in front of a lesbian, then in front of a gay man.

Who is more likely to be assassinated if elected president, Obama or McCain? -Yoshi

Historically, liberal leaders have always been the victims of assassination. JFK and his brother, MLK, Lincoln, Benazir Bhutto. It just echoes sentiment of conservatives being close-minded and threatened by change to the point where they sacrifice themselves to create martyrs. Obama is a huge proponent of change and with some of the radical racist rhetoric in this country I fear for him the most. Even noting John McCains health, if we include nature as an assassin.

Do you guys remember when co-op games were fun? -360FanBoy

My friends and I rarely play sports games against each other, always dynasties co-op. Whole different game. Plus turns friends into teammates instead of competitors which can get dicey at times, even between the greatest of friends.

Why do the Democrats lose so many elections they should have won? I mean, seriously. They should have won 1988, they should have won 2000, they should have won 2004. The Republicans go dirty every time, the Democrats refuse to, so they lose. Why is my party so full of idiots? -TransparentWhale

Because conservatives have discovered that is causes less mayhem to rig an election, then it does to assassinate and martyr a popular liberal figurehead.

I had to explain the meaning of “gay” to my 5-year old daughter. She thought it meant something completely different, considering how often her brother uses the word. I had to put it in simple terms: “You know how some families have a mommy & a daddy? Well, sometimes there’s two daddies who fall in love, or two mommies.” She seemed to accept it, especially when I reminded her that Aunt Melissa married DJ, but then she said “I still think Josh was pretty gay when he tricked me into going on the dinosaur ride.” -DrMelissa

Its not smart to inform a child of such a young age. They truly cant understand concepts of gender roles or sex in general. You’ve informed her about gayness, now she gets to make her choice. And you should have mentioned that Aunt Melissa and DJ will burn in hell for intirety for their love. Expect her to cut her hair, wear Birkenstock and get macho shortly. Consider buying her some Liz Phair for her 6th birthday. I hope you didn’t have hopes for a son-in-law.