SRSLY. Is the Queen REALLY majestic? i mean, why bother referring to her as “majesty”? Is she a magician? I doubt it. She’s no more majestic than a ham sandwich or a $6 whore. Come on, it’s utterly ridiculous. -TECMOfan
Royalty is outdated and slightly embarrassing for a culture to invest in, I’ll give you that. The Last Royal is going to be a hero, for giving the fantastic buildings and resources back to the people. It certainly seems ridiculous to have a fancifully decadent family of people around simply because their parents were also fancifully decadent people for no reason. Having said that, comparing the Queen unfavorably to your lunch or mother certainly isnt called for, and it won’t do on my shred of the internet, sir. It will not stand, indeed.
If you ask your gf’s parents for permission to marry her, you’re an asshole. Real Talk. It was used as a sexist way of basically passing ownership of the daughter onto the new husband. It’s an embarassing tradition that should be done away with. -Talk_Puncher
Now, it’s just a tradition of courtesy. Which doesnt seem so bad. When it happened for me, I had asked if my wifes father had done it. He had, so I did. If I have a daughter, I won’t care, though. Its her decision, even if I hate him.
Man robs bank for $1 so he could be arrested and sent to jail for free medical health care. I knew this would happen sooner or later. It’s ironic how prisoners get free medical care, but citizens don’t. -LJBinder
Coincidentally, my third novel, the one never published, was about a guy who did this because he lost his job and lady and his life sucked. But because of the incompetence of the small town cops and general population around him he just kept successfully robbing banks. He eventually meets another woman and gets a nice job from her brother, but then a young deputy puts the pieces together and the guy gets jailed. His lady then studies law and files an appeal to get him out under some non-violent loophole. Its unsuccessful so she breaks him out and they live happily ever after. It’s part non-fiction now, apparently.
If suddenly chickens were able to communicate to us in english, would we still eat them? -PeonLowalski
I bet they’d go great braised, and drizzled in a cranberry comprehension. Mmmmmm, linguistilicious.
Lips are even smackier, slams are even dunkier. -RamboSpice
It’s the ping to the pong, ding to the dong. McDonalds commercials are by far the largest exporter of mouth farting in advertising history. If you haven’t seen the pre-Monopoly McD’s ad where some hipster goes spoken word on the awesomeness of McNuggets and their new sauces, you are missing out. On rage.
Judge people much? There is a huge point of regular people talking about politics. It helps shape the public discourse. Ever hear of the court of popular opinion? No, I don’t have any connections to politicians or news sources, so I won’t directly create any changes, but indirectly I am subtly shaping the public discourse of those around me, which as a whole will get back to politicians and journalists. -amurrican
This sounds like something people tell each other to convince themselves they aren’t wasting their time. Discussing politics brings negativity to something that has absolutely nothing of value to be gained. In my experiences, it leads only to people trying to talk louder than each other. You aren’t changing anyones mind, or else you wouldnt be arguing. So, the people that you are yelling at that DO know influential politicians or journalists (less than .01%) still aren’t influenced by you. When you talk about sports and weather, very rarely will things get awkward and judgments of character are made based off of answers of opinion.
Every man should try a single blade razor and a shaving brush. You’ll never want to go back! NEVER! -C_HOX518
Recently I grew tired of looking like John Adams, so I shaved my hair and now run with the skin helmet. The first time, I was surprised how easy it was to do using a Gillette Mach 3 without looking. So, I might get there at some point. A straight razor. I’d love to give it a shot and become proficient with one. A better shave, undeniable cachet, and the chance to defend my family against home invasion, wearing nothing but a towel and a half-grill of shaving lather. COME GET SOME, TERRORISTS. Not only did I just round-house your cheeks, but your last eyeful of the afternoon was of my terrycloth hoop skirt staging a balls and taint pageant, a fucking nut puppet show to relive during your 20-to-life stint. But seriously, I’m gonna have a straight razor from a professional barber a few times, first. That sounds nice, and I’d get what it’s supposed to feel like down. I tell you, I’m considering your recommendation.
This seems like as good as place as any to bring up a recent conversation with my wife. Imagine my pride when she didn’t bat an eyelash as I said to her “I want you to prepare yourself for something I’m going to try with my face this winter.” It actually took me a couple times to say the sentence fully, without having to stop for laughter. But, I got through it and she took it like a champ. I grow a beard in the winter, usually. But, now that I shaved my head, I have to consider where the beard is going to end at the top. So, I introduced my plan to keep a half-inch of trim around the top of my ears and immediately trademarked “beard goggles”. It’s coming.
The Whimsical MetaCognitionist Chronicles 