The What’s What, Volume 1o5

When you told someone to go to Red Robin, I thought you were kidding.  I thought the place was a kids party place like Chuck E Cheese.  But then my wifes friends made us go and I had a great burger, they had a bar with drafts and everything! –ajent007

I’m not sure how you could get that impression, what with the giant cartoon bird, commercials that never show anyone over the age of 12 and buildings that looks like a god-damned neon and glass casino extravaganza.  Get past the wacky attempted retro burger joint vibe and the burgers are still amazingly delicious.  Stay away from the shakes.  Don’t go there without kids.  Just get a couple Bonzai burgers to go and sit in a park or your car, like we do.

Nice predictions, Uri Gellar.  Could you have had a worst week 1?  CJ Spiller + Laurence Maroney = Fail. -FluffyBuster

I also went 0-3 fantasy in Week 1.  But I haven’t given up on Spiller.  I certainly admit I have no idea what happened with Maroney.  It must have been personal or something.  He could still put up exciting numbers for the Broncos, now that he has an axe to grind.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m not defending myself, I suck.  I never claimed to be sitting on a perpetual success festival over here.  I’m saying we just don’t know how badly I suck yet.  Let’s give it the proper time to really compost down to shit, is all.

After all these years, I still think Melissa Joan Hart is pretty good looking.  Not mind blowingly hot or anything but there is something nice about her. -hbkny2j

She was my first celebrity crush, like 25 years ago. Sill hot now. I’m not gonna watch her show or anything, though.  Too hokey.  And I didn’t watch her dancing, either.  She needs a good role.  I bet she could pull it off if someone gave her a legitimate shot.

NHL 11 will be the best sports game of this generation. -OkravinaOfTime

Passing is pretty fail in ’11.  Loading up speed by holding pass is a complete disaster.  It needs to be done with analog, the harder or quicker you push the button, the faster the pass goes.  Its a shoulder button for a reason.

Why would Brady watch the Jets on Hard Knocks? He already has tapes of their practices. -Corks

LoL.  Good line.  However, If I was their competition, you damn right I’d be watching it to find out something to get in their head with. I’d probably be calling Mark Sanchez cheap for putting the screws to some poor college kid over a fucking 75 cents cup of ranch dressing.   Hes a damned millionaire, and he’s griping this poor kid over the coals for something Rex Ryan has bottles upon bottles of stashed in his mini-fridge for chugging.

Have you ever received a hate message from someone after playing online with them? -blurnahn

When I played Galaxies as a spy, I got them all the time.  Like, daily.

Lost got absolutely screwed by the Emmys. Even if they didn’t deserve to win the acting awards (seriously though, Terry O’Quinn should have won), at the very least Michael Giacchino should have won for the music direction. Instead 24 won. Absolute bullshit.  -StealthyMission

Everyone knew this going in, this was not a surprise.  The ending really crapped in everyones collective mouths.  So, blame the writers of that travesty for the residual negativity towards everything else related to the show.

LOL Poor People. OH NOEZ $10 MORE FOR XBOX LIVE! HOW WILL I AFFORD IT!? -wareagles91

It’s what the $10 is for is whats making people upset.  ESPN? Twitter? Facebook? Anyone with an internet connection gets that stuff for free, including 99.9% of the XBox audience. Makes no sense.

Preseason week 4 NFL > Regular season week 1 NCAA -IntimidatingPresents

College football is generally more exciting, but the NCAA is corrupt.  Pro Football is just so much more meaningful competition.  They both have merits, but still, your opinion is correct.

The What’s What, Volume 1o3

My sister is friends with the girl who plays Ginny Weasley in Harry Potter.  Bonnie Wright. She met her at a dinner party for an acquaintance they both knew. She’s nice, but IMO, too nice to tap.  -wariO’s

Yeah, she wouldn’t have stood a chance at those charms of yours. It’s a good thing you respect the kindness of someone you’ve never met enough to not make her want to have sex with you.  Is your sister friends with her, or did she just meet her at a dinner party for an acquaintance they both knew? Because there’s a pretty big difference.  It  sounds like your sister told you that she didn’t make an ass of herself in front of a famous person, like she would have seen the conversation as anything else but her impressing a celebrity.  Do you have even the SLIGHTEST idea of how many people attempt to be friends with a famous person on any given day?

Ian Huntley, who murdered two girls eight years ago, is sueing the prison service for £100,000 after he got slashed in the throat by another prisoner. Do you think this is right? The guy is in jail, what is he going to do with a hundred grand? -Ham-Tam

Well, his family could probably use the money. I don’t believe prisons get the right to be ThunderDome.  I’m not going to lose any sleep if he doesn’t win his case.

so this guys owes me a few grand… this morning he drops by with a “deal“.  He wants to give me two “houses” instead of paying me back. This guy owns a butt load of trailer houses and is trying to give me two of them. There are currently people living in them and paying $450 a month. He claims they have lived there for a long while and never missed a payment. on one side it would be steady income.. but do I want to get into property with this economy? Sure they are trailers but to be honest I have seen much worse…  -rawksawlid1

I don’t like the deal.  He might know things about the property that you don’t.  You might have to invest in fixing it, back taxes, or the people might be moving out.  Who knows the arrangements he has with these people?  Tell him you would feel more comfortable if he used the rental property income to pay you back. Draft up a payment schedule with prime rate interest to be nice. Get a notary. Wipe hands of this guy.

Breaking Bad VS Dexter VS Lost – MisterSerious

Dexter isn’t as good as everyone thinks it is. Lots of questionable dialogue and the drama is even a little too much. Lost is a joke.  Breaking Bad by ten lengths.

Can people on “Lets Make A Deal” actually TAKE the zonk if they get it?  Sometimes they look really cool… I wouldn’t mind taking a motorcycle with triangular wheels… -Corks

Once I saw a guy win a pineapple cart or something, and he took like 5 pineapples back to his seat.  I bet he got out of there with them.

how do you start smoking when you know it’s bad for you..? to look cool, huh? enjoy your cancer, loser -Adsimbenefits

Why eat butter when you know it’s bad for you?  Why do you spend all day in the sun when you know its bad for you?  Why do you play sports, when you know all the health risks associated?  Why do you get a puppy companion when you know you’ll have to bury him someday?  Why do non-smokers think they are avoiding death by whining about it?

Of all the religions in the world, only 1 has it right.  The Amish. You have NEVER heard of radical Amish terrorists, have you? Nope. The world would be a better place if everyone was Amish. This is indisputable.  -MGSisLife

I refuse to argue.  Wonderful peoples.  One of the greatest restaurants I have ever been in my life was an Amish restaurant.  Everything from scratch, big giant plates of three kinds of meat served family style with like 12 different sides and every fresh vegetable you could think of. And the desserts, Jesus, the desserts. Pies from scratch still hot from the oven. Fresh ice cream. Was like $9 for me to eat everything I wanted.

Did you see Inception?   -MoeMunney66

I did, and I was a little distracted by something.  Cillian Murphy wears a burlap sack on his head in all 3 of Nolans epic movies, Batman Begins – He’s Scarecrow, kind of his thing.  Dark Knight – Batman de-burlap sacks him during the robbery attempt in the beginning.  Inception – As a kidnapped energy concern mogul, he’s wearing a burlap sack in the back of the white van for a healthy percentage of the movie.  After I noticed this, I spent the rest of the movie analyzing this fact, and I think its obvious the conclusion we can come out with. Apparently, Cillian Murphy has the ability to make some sort of magical supernoise of which he needs to contort his face in awkward ways to make, but the result of this supernoise convinces you that what you are doing is awesome and you need to tell your friends and implants a yearning for it to continue. I am currently running tests to determine if burlap has some sort of amplification properties science might not be aware of.

I understand your mind is blown here. Please, try to settle down. Let’s not let the media know until I’ve concluded with my experiments and can get a concrete case here. But, since the the blog is about to get a lot more popular, I’ll need to deputize some people to handle press events. Thanks for your patience and effort, readers. We’ve finally done it.

What do you think about that Fox News guy buying  gay bar next to the “Ground Zero Mosque”? –DUN-FIP

A conservative owning a gay bar out spite hardly sounds like the greatest business model.  But, it sure is confusing the hell out of both conservatives and liberals, so that’s kind of funny.

Chocolate Milk in Cereal, Yay or Nay -IllyMays

I did it once with regular rice crispies because I didn’t have any sugar.  It was great. Ill vote Yay, but only for some cereals.

You’re a gamer/nerd.  Interested in Scott Pilgrim? -pepsiizawsum

I’m also 33.   So, no.  I’ll wait the 16 months and turn the channel to something else 12 minutes into it when its free on HBO.

The What’s What, Volume 96

The “Imperfect Game”.  Discuss. – KrazyIvan82

If Bud overturns last nights major fuck up, then I want him to go back to September 7th 1984 and over turn the official scorer who gave a base hit to a cubs hitter when Ray Knight bobbled the ball at 3rd base and was unable to get off a throw. That is an error. Dwight Gooden should have a no hitter.  I also want him to go back to 2008 when Marlon Anderson was called out for illegal contact on a slide against the Phillies that would have resulted in the winning run being scored. So at the least the Mets and Phillies would have been tied at the end of that season and they should have gone to a 1 game playoff.  YOU CAN NOT OVER RULE THE CALL ON THE FIELD UNLESS YOU ARE PREPARED TO RIGHT ALL THE WRONGS THAT HAVE HAPPENED IN BASEBALL OVER THE LAST 120 YEARS.  -VendingLights

No you cannot. The technology wasn’t there to fix it. And those situations you described are totally different.  One would have changed the celebrations of millions of fans.  Can’t do that.   And the other is a judgment call by a  scorer.  I’m sorry bad calls happened to your favorite team, they happened to everyone’s favorite team over the years equally.  But let’s not let past mistakes validate present ones.

You CAN fix the “imperfect game”.  While people benefited from those other calls you mentioned, absolutely NO ONE benefits from the tragedy. It’s a complete disaster for every single person involved.  There is indisputable evidence and admissions and apologies from the Umpire, Jim Joyce. This is the perfect place for Bud Selig to fix it and won’t. 100% of people who saw the play concede/believe its a perfect game. The only thing that says otherwise is the box score.  Shame on him and anyone else lauding “human factor” as traditionalism. You are advocating that incorrect history be written instead of admitting you were wrong.

So whats the going rate for male adult actors in bukkake porn? -igetbet

Seriously? I wager a free blow job from a hot girl whos expectedly good at it and assurances to keep your face out of the video is the only compensation a lot of the guys get.

Saul is the best character in Breaking Bad no doubt.  Dude’s a real bro I love it -skeetskeetsk33t

Why was the last episode of Breaking Bad basically 53 mintues devoted to a fly? -malpractcevctm

Saul might be the greatest character on TV right now.  It always pisses me off when people don’t listen to him.  And, the fly episode was okay. I see what they are going for, but it seemed a little long and forced. I think the writers could have saved the twenty minute monologues from Jesse about a possum, I mean “an opossum”, and Walt trying to figure out what time was best that he died. Those really dragged on.

Some shows are good at the random episode direction and theme, like House. They do the best job ever, and sometimes it’s still a little clunky. I just wish 2 or 3 good seasons didn’t give the writers the right to change whats been working for them, under the guise of art.  It’s like they don’t do “special episodes” where a character gets hooked on drugs for an episode anymore, and clip shows are lazy, but they still have to “mix it up” for some reason, so they have to be pretentious about it, and go with arty, to validate their schooling or something.

Did you watch the LOST finale?  You must have something to say. -CanadiAnne

I did.  People have been talking about how the writers had to sew up all these crazy loose ends for 4 years, and I decided I’d be able to tell how happy fans were by how ridiculous and pretentious the ending was.  And it seemed to me like fans would not be happy.  It was kind of a creative cop-out.  Apparently, the writers had the first fantastic season written and concluded, and when it got popular, they had to scramble to extend it.   See Prison Break, Heroes, etc…. Sometimes they do it right and reserve the ending, other times they take liberties to keep curiosity peaked and have set the story too far out to write their way out of it, a la Lost. The writers left holes in the plot because they needed to keep curiosity peaked throughout the years and weren’t good enough writers to figure out something sensible.

People who claim to understand some deeper profound ending like they are smarter than everyone else and are touting this failure as genius are those who love and championed the shows to others so loudly that they can’t give the appearance of being let down. Here’s a litmus test. If you ask a writer what a vague ending he wrote meant and he says, “What do YOU think it meant?” That’s pretty much the best sign that the work is a massive failure.

Most people who vote democrat are suckers just saying if you vote dems for reasons other than being black and not rich and not giving money (which will in turn bone the population as a whole at least a little bit but does not keep money in your pocket)… you are either a biggot or a retarded sucker just saying. -nutsh0t

And in turn the Republicans are masters of getting poor uneducated retards to give their money to corporations, so the CFO’s daughter can get heated seats in her 16th birthday Bugatti.  Thank God poor people love God and hate gays so much.  The real failure here?  Is that you don’t understand that your vote is only choosing who gets to screw you, like your opinion makes a difference.  Vote 3rd party.

dude.  wtf is up with bitches laughing over Paul Gray, slipknot bassist’s death? you’re a stupid fuck if you show no sympathy for someone dying just because you didn’t like the band. -MezzDupp

Human nature dictates you celebrate the stoppage of things you dislike, no matter how unfortunate the reason, nor how much you disagree with it.  He didn’t know your name.  Try not to get so worked up over it.

What exactly is American Culture?  Racism, obesity, gullibility?  -OptimalShag

Well, other countries consider American movies and music to be the greatest export the Earth has to offer.  So, you kind of sound bitter for not recognizing such an obvious concept.

Great job pepsi, giving 25,000 to a 12 year old. For the idea of “Putting a sheet of plexiglas in front of buses to increase aerodynamics to save gas”What a worthy cause! So genius! And what a great use of 25,000 dollars! -BladerX

I’ve also seen this.  The “Green Screen”, right?   What a bad idea. No one wants anything even remotely obscuring a SCHOOL BUS DRIVER. The Pepsi-blue school bus they enlisted for the event DIDN’T EVEN HAVE ONE. The whole thing is a fucking sham.  School buses don’t even go high speeds for long periods of time, everything is stop and go on residential roads.  Complete failure.   If that’s among the best they had offered, Pepsi should have scrapped the campaign and donated the money to putting solar panels on a school or something.  What a disaster.

The What’s What, Volume 53

I just saw that Eddie House video from the semifinals.  What a bitch he is, he got hoe slapped upside the head, and didn’t do nothing about it. What a pussy, but he is a Celtic, and they’re a team full of pussies. -Jijcore

Really? Eddie House is the bitch? Not Rafer Alston, who SLAPPED a dude in the BACK of the head? He SLAPPED him. In the BACK of the head, and Eddie House is the bitch? With an open hand, Alston hit House where he cant see it coming, and Eddie is the bitch?  You sure about this?

did they really have to show that guy’s cock so much in ‘forgetting sarah marshall?’ -jbillz

They should have traded off with some Mila Kunis or Kirsten Bell boobies.  And don’t give me “They did, the snapshot…” I mean REAL boobies.

If you were starting an MLB franchise right now, who would you take with the first pick? -hamashummus

Either Pujols, Longoria, or Hanley Ramirez.  Pitchers are too sporadic.

I’m skipping church this Wednesday to watch Lost -SoljahofGawd

This just means when you need a miracle, God will be watching 30 Rock.

Do you think it’s completely retarded that global warming/climate change is a political issue? I don’t think something as important as the future of Man and the Earth should be hinged on which side you lean towards the most. -IluvHaydenP

If the government shouldn’t be the one to fix it, then no one will. Corporations? Theres no profit margin. God? He’s the one who’s causing it. Your Mom? Shes busy causing my glacier to melt, if you know what I’m saying.

Ever had a drug deal go bad?  N3w_Y0rk3r

After a drug dealer sold my friend blunt shavings, he approaches the dealer who says to him, “You best not press, lest you gots a vest fo yo chest.”  We laughed in his face and left. He got our twenty dollars, but we bought one hell of an incident for it.

If you were grilling a pork tenderloin, What would you flavor it with? -ObesityLite

Dry rubs work really well on grilled pork. Creates a textured crust that seals in natural juices.  I would suggest either cajun, lemon pepper or cinnamon chipotle.

Pericings or Tattoos? -HighOnLifeandDrugs

Piercings are usually immediately distinguishable and when you notice them, it’s because some retard put them in a place to garner attention and shock value.   Tattoos can only be seen if you want them to. It’s like finding out a secret when someone shows you one.  Tattoos by 15 lengths.

I wonder what it’s like to be in a swimming pool during a big earthquake.  -Hammeroidrage

I went SCUBA diving in the caribbean and asked the instructor what happens if theres a tsunami.  He said “You wouldn’t feel a thing, we’d come up to the surface and wonder what the fuck happened to the beach and parking lot.”. Pretty cool.

how much of your life has changed since Barack Obama was elected President?-Mototype12

Other than the copious amounts of lulz from butthurt Republicans, very little.

How much did you spend on your sunglasses? -BishDin

$250 They’re prescription so I only get one pair, and I buy high quality so they last a while.

Who do you love more wife or your parents? -Czechlist

Well, they are different types of love. My love for my parents is based on respect and gratitude. My love for my wife is different because I chose her based on her inherent qualities, of which I fell in love with. You don’t get to really choose to love your parents. But if they werent my parents, I probably wouldn’t have had the chance to meet them.

Jim Rome is a bitch about Pot Use. Mind you this is a dude that grew up in So. Cal and went to college at UCSB. Can’t believe that guy is wound so tight. Maybe pot touched him in a bad place when he was a kid? -Large_Soprano

I wager his girlfriend started to smoke and dumped him for a dealer or something.

Do you think Christian Bale is a prick? -RRODDaily

Dunno, never met him. But from what I have assembled from people who do know him or overheard by reading the news, he’s a class A douchebag.