The What’s What, Volume 11o

One of my friends always brought the argument up of why didn’t gandaolf just get those big ass eagles to carry frodo over mordor and drop the ring in the volcano? -rawksawlid1

I was under the impression that’s what the frontal offensive was for.   To keep the eye thing busy building monster armies and sacking cities while Frodo snuck in the back.  But I don’t know, I’m no apologist.  I was more confused by the very beginning.  You’re telling me that someone by the name of The Dark Lord of Mordor and who is a General for the Army of the God of Evil is handing out party favours to the leaders of his sworn enemies, and noone is going to question motive?  Really?

How old is too old to Trick r’ Treat? -Cl3ms0nTigers

No such thing,  Several options. Take a bag and say your collecting for sick little brother or sister. Take small family kids or neighbors kids and walk up to door with them and simply say “Those are my favorites! Can I have one?” at every house. Fill pockets. Give non favorites to kids. Just go up to a house and say “Trick or Treat”. They say something snotty, and you say, “So, you are choosing trick?” and show them a carton of eggs. Even the cops will make fun of the house owner.

$10mil but you can’t see your son until he’s 18. No pics, no video, no voice, no drawings, no paintings, or anything that can resemble him. You also can’t send him money or create a trust or college fund for him. In?  -FluffyBuster

Okay, no trust fund, but I can save some money for him, right?  I’m not spending $10M in 20 years.  I can have other kids too, right?  Then I invite you to picture this, a boy spends the first 17 years of his life being raised by a single Mom, likely through financial hardships. The boy is left to ponder hundreds of scenarios on why he has no dad; his mom is an easy lay and doesn’t even know who the dad is, hating his father for leaving, and wishing that he was some rich guy that would see his wrong ways and come back to save the family. Now you are telling me that the best case scenario is going to happen to the victim, and further more, you are going to give me ten million dollars to make this kids life a dream starting from the point that it actually matters?  Yes. I’ll take the check.

Still watching the League? –fullquietcasket

Yeah, Ghost Monkey went a little overboard, but the Taco’s offering song was pretty good.  Vinegar Strokes was bold and hilarious.  I think the second season has kept up the funny to first season levels, for the most part. I wish I could remember the names of the two guys with the same last name who write the show. I want to say Schafer brothers or maybe gay marriage thing going there.  It’s all their fault. Soon, they’ll likely start running out of ideas they’ve been collecting and refining for the past ten years and have to start forcing funny. Then, we’ll see what they really got.

Least favorite 30 for 30? –fullquietcasket

Oh, hands down, Marion Jones.  She’s too happy recanting the story of how she beat someones ass in prison. I forgot how fake her crying was. Shes spending too much time trying to convince me that she was a victim. John Singleton is in his own film too much, and didn’t ask a single difficult question in 52 minutes.  She spent 6 months in jail for lying to Congress and now she’s a hero for overcoming it or something?  She seems attention and money hungry.  I felt a little gross afterward.

What do you think of people who can do illusions? -4ThumbsDown

I feel like the majority of magicians, who have to maintain their secrets, get off to the fact that they know how to do things that others don’t, and derive a superiority from that.  The magicians that will show you a trick and show you how it works, are the ones who truly love magic. The tricks themselves, the glam costumes, the Philip Glass music, the hot assistants; none of this matters. The skills it takes to make a difficult trick look easy is where I get impressed. If I don’t know how the trick is done, I can’t rate the skill level of the magician, and hes likely covering up for an easy trick.

 

The Whats What, Volume 5

I like the new site, easy to read.  I know this is old but god dam those NBA ASG jerseys were stupid as fuck. It looked like there were three teams on the court. One in blue, one in white, and one in beige. Honest to god, whoever came up with those uniforms needs to be fired. -ilikemusicmorethanyou

I completely agree. I said the same thing about three teams being on the court.  I cant fathom how there werent just crazy amounts of turnovers. I mean, its got to be confusing for this one game to look for guys in a different colour then you’re used to. But to make them different colours in front and back? Could they have possibly made it any MORE confusing?

I have to take a big dump, but im at work and cant leave the lab – chaosme

Two words, Ass-Cork.

You got thoughts on this years American Idol cast? -HacksawJim

I do.  Only that super young dude stands out.  But, he’s soooo “Aw Shucks” that its going to get old fast.  There was some girl last year, Melinda DooLittle, I think was her name.  She acted surprised when everyone loved her, which was unique and genuine, until she continued doing it into week 8.  I feel like this kid has to get that under raps or people will start resenting him.  Otherwise, Im not impressed.  When I sit down on Tuesday and Wednesday nights, Im not waiting for anyone to sing.  Im just watching the show.

When you get an erection while wearing jeans, which pant leg does your penis usually go down? -TheCytan

The left.  Its just the side the thigh holster for my giant penis always seemed more comfortable.

Lord of The Rings, or Star Wars? -dapuge

I was never into the fairies, elves, goblins, and dwarves that are the mainstay of most fantasy movies/books. Always seemed like kind of a cop out. The ultimate in “attempting” imagination.
Star Wars seemed more original, and because of that, more genuine ingenuity. I prefer Star Wars.

Do you still answer questions in haiku? -SunKissed420

Not any longer.
Prose Problems were inherent.
Just short answers now. 

Im emailing this to you from an iPhone on store display! -KandallWacks

Google Image search: goatse.  Set as wallpaper, leave quietly.

You ever watch Boondocks on Adult Swim? -pmuse

Yeah, I love it. Uncommonly complex writing.  Its like SouthPark for black people. With its ability to boil down issues and lampoon them from both sides, its satirical comedy is the perfect mesh for what they are trying to do.  Flawless execution.

I don’t see why people still believe in religion. Especially adults. It seems like you could have matured past the idea of a magical man in the sky that affects everything you do.  Grow up, people. -MrBlonde2120

I always found it ironic that Christians teach kids about Santa and God, almost together.  Both are unseeable forces that live far away; and if you are good, you are rewarded, and if you are bad you are punished.   And then, when your 10, they’re all  “We were lying about one of them.”
But the real answer to your question; Its easier to be told that your life is worth living, rather than make your life worth living.

My employer just sent me an incorrect paycheck.  I make $713 for two weeks of work.  I was sent a check for $7,130.  Whatever you tell me to do with the check, I will.  -BSchuman

Don’t tell another soul about this.  Open a savings account with it.  Deposit every penny.  Accrue interest until they find their mistake.  if they dont find their mistake by February 2010, spend everything.