The What’s What, Volume 111

Are you Overweight? *just curious* -CHIPMUNKGIGGLES

My WiiFit claims I am.  I’m 5’11” and weight 180.  I don’t feel or look  fat though.

Is paying for dinner a good enough birthday present? -BROntosaurausMax

Depends. Lady friend you want to slide something inside? No.  Family member or platonic friend?  Yeah, sure. As long as they pick the place.  If its a milestone birthday, you might consider picking up a little extra; card, lottery tickets, chocolate or something, though.

Bill Nye the Science Guy collapses during speech. Students text and update Twitter rather than help him!  -Melonchomfortable

Was he speaking to medical students? Because if I pass out on stage, the last thing I want is a bunch of kids crowding around me thinking they can help, gaffling my wallets, and taking pictures of me with a retarded look on my face.

explain what’s going on in Harry Potter up to the new movie. I’m going to see it with my friends and I haven’t seen any since the Goblet of Fire I think -BroncksBommahs2

Something about Baltimore, I mean, Voldemort putting his power into objects, called horcruxes.  Potter & Company have to collect 7 for the final showdown or something, they already killed 2 or 3 and need to find the rest.  Everyone is exiting puberty, getting horny and prepping to link up with each other.  That, seriously, is the summary of the first 5 movies in terms of long term plot in two sentences.

So why is CNN calling those Chilean miners “heros”? -GMAustra1ia

Because they can’t spell “heroes”.  I kid. Has it been that long since I’ve updated.  I feel bad now.  But I don’t really care about the miners.  I’m glad they got out.  That’s all, really.

What parts of the US Constitution does the government hate? -Superman242

For the people, and of the people.  They really like by the people.

I have a crap load of kief, how exactly are you supposed to smoke it? I would like to optimize the potential of this kief. -5harkBoy

Do NOT smoke it as is. Packing a bowl is going to waste a lot of keef because youll suck the dust through whatever piece you are using. Plus it’s harsh, and it will get you crazy high, so its best to portion it thusly.  Couple ways.  As a sundae topping on crappy weed bonghits.  Make tiny balls of sticky resin, and roll them through keef, making “truffles”. This is my preferred method when I’m out of green.  Licking the ends of your cigarette and dipping in, for enlightening yourself in stealthy fashion.  Enjoy.

Have You Ever Been Or Are Now a Bandwagon Fan?  I haven’t been on any teams bandwagon. -B_Alone

Maybe?  I root for my teams until theres no chance of making the playoffs, then I’ll jump on another ship just to keep the season exciting. Usually an underdog or something, never a rival of my chosen teams. Just something to keep my interest.

Italian food is one of the bases of all culinary mastery, behind French cuisine. -Rob922004

You sound educated, but are spewing lies. Probably told to you by someone trying to enhance their heritage.  Italians didnt invent any cooking techniques. Pasta was invented by the chinese. Everything classically Italian has tomato and cheese on it. Everything. If you go to a Italian restaurant and order something without tomato and cheese on it, (ie Marsala, Madiera, Picatta) its Italian wine. Those dishes are actually French.  A famous running joke for DOUBLE DIGIT CENTURIES is to put sauce and cheese on something and call it “<Meat> Italiano”.  It’s delicious and foolproof, I’ll give you all that.  It’s just not original cuisine, nor a basis for culinary mastery.

The What’s What, Volume 39

Whats the most unique way you’ve killed a bug/pest in your home? -Metsfan43

I emptied a can of Aquanet on a spider and his web in my basement when I was a kid. The thing was frozen in time, the web became stiff  and remained there for almost a year, probably.

Ever gone mushroom hunting? -Edgyset717

Only on the golf course with a 5-iron in my hand.  Its crazy satisfying to have them explode into spongy pellets and fluffy mist.

My supervisor just texted me “Your an idiot”. The need for ownage is fighting with my need for a job.. What the hell should I do? -Buildinset

*Reply* Idiots don’t know the difference between you’re and your.  I’m more of a moron. *Send*

ever smoke resin? JonathanLockes

We make “truffles”. Little one-hitter balls of sticky resin, rolled through the shake and keef of the last bag.  Gives you the quick familiar high of shake dust, and the long slow head fuck of resin.

Copying Music is not stealing, it would be like copying a car – MicksedMedia

What if you overhear the music in your friends car? What if you borrow your friends cd? It’s such a slippery slope and full of bad logic from both sides.  If the music companies had their way, you wouldn’t be able to listen to it without paying.  They’re as phony as the artists who claim when they start playing that its all about the music and bringing enjoyment to other people and then take a check and start asking “Where’s mine?”

would you bid $1 over someone else in price is right? AlnTedBundy

My one time chance to play Plinko? The grandmother next to me should bet the correct price on those golf clubs, cause I am all over that dollar.

If you could decide the setlist a band would play at a live show, what would it be? -MLSOK1

The London Symphony Orchestra and then I’d make them play my favorite pop/rock/rap and video game songs, ending with the Presto from Vivaldis “Spring”.

Dr. Cox > House. -Charcoalsands

Neither show is funny. The problem is that Scrubs is TRYING to be a comedy. House by 12 lengths.

Would you give up your right to vote forever for 5,000 dollars? -TilledDeath

National elections, yes. Local elections, no.

Could you date a worker at a fast food restaurant? This girl at the Chic-Fil-A at the mall is gorgeous. Look like if you were to combine Julia Roberts with Sarah Silverman. -MrLemon

If you can’t, then you are a shallow person who’s going to miss out on good women.

So, some girl where I work is pregnant. (she’s 17) Luckily she’s acting responsible about it and not getting an abortion, so I respect her for that. -11Ghosts

I’m glad you agree with her decision. It’s great that shes “responsible” only because her choices have your approval.  The process will be so much easier for her now that she has your respect.

Dealing with someone who is stoned is worse than dealing with a drunk.-FluffPunk

The rate that I get randomly punched in the face by drunks far exceeds that of stoned people.

Us Asians are the only people that still get made fun of right to their faces.  -HooktonFonix

You no rikey? Oooooooh, a thousand pahdons!

How many Canadian cities do you know? ManiToby

I know the ones that ever owned NHL teams, the capitals of the provinces, and maybe a handful of others.

If Your girlfriend got raped, would it change your perspective of her? I know saying “no, of course not” is the intuitive reaction because of how terrible the other answer is, but honestly, I don’t think that anyone can say no completely. I mean, you would be horrible to leave her for such a thing, but to not be affected is not possible.  I think most people wouldn’t be able to look at them the same again.

To my knowledge I had never been in this situation. I’d like to think I’d act nobly. Depends on alot of things. If she was drunk and made really bad decisions about where to sleep and how much to drink or who to trust, there would be alot more resentment towards her than some guy who breaks into her dorm, threatens her life, and beats her ass to shut up.  With some luck, Ill continue never having to know.