The What’s What, Volume 97

as every summer approaches, I hope and pray that it is the year where jorts enter extinction and every summer I am disappointed. -_Deeze_

I actually had to google “jorts”.  That’s how old I am.  Turns out, they’re “jean shorts”.  Now it all makes sense. After consideration of the issue, I’m going to vote to continue letting women wear jean shorts, but only the kind made from old jeans.  Never hemmed at cuff.  Men can’t do either.  If you have a penis and are wearing jean shorts, you should leave your trailer for an hour and get yourself something that isn’t embarrassing you for the summer.  Treat yourself, and the rest of us.

See the Evans/Rampage bout? -Grapedrinker

I did.  I understand when people who pay for the fights get upset by what they call “lay and pray”.  Also, I completely agree that these fights are wholly unexciting.  However, I just cannot fault Evans for using the strategy to win.  In a successful career, winning and limiting damage are pretty much the two necessities.   It’s boring, but landing 2 jabs and snuggling is technically fundamental.  Which is why the undercards are always more exciting.  Less fundamentals, more opportunity for mistakes.

i mean, like these dudes are bitches. i make one comment and they remove me from their friends list lol.    i could understand when girls do this, but like really what little bitches.  so what if i drop f bombs and shit, who the fuck cares, its the goddamned internetz. serious bizness. -smoke_dust_rising

So what if you drop f-bombs? The people who dropped your ass care. How about using a little god-damned tact and consideration for the people you consider friends? Some peoples Facebook pages are the social equivalent of a childrens birthday party on the internet. You run into the inflatable bouncetty-bounce, start swearing and dropping retarded jokes next to people that were born this decade or lived through the holocaust or something and you wonder why you don’t get invited back?

I don’t care if you want to be a retarded asshole in front of people that could eventually offer you help in your life. Your reputation is yours to piece up all you like, but I’ll be damned if I’m going to listen to you complain about it like your butthurt, and then act like you don’t care when you admit it’s all your doing.

In about 15 years, J.K. Rowling will probably make a lotta “greatest author of all-time” lists… Even though she probably doesn’t deserve to be there, she is single-handedly responsible for igniting an entire generations love for literature. Not many, if any, writers have ever been able to do that in their lifetime.  ColLexSanders

“Most successful” =/= “Greatest All-Time”.  Plus I’m going to take issue with your claims of her turning a generation onto literature.  Kids waited for the next HP book.  They weren’t pick up any Ginsberg or anything.

SCENARIO: Qui Gon Jinn never goes out & gets Anakin Skywalker. How do things change? Does the original trilogy still happen? Is there still civil war? Does Palpatine still become all powerful?  -RoyaleSithCheese

It’s a prophecy. Anakin would have found his way into the situation some other way.   What’s more interesting to me is how everyone expected Anakin to be this wonderful person. His prophecy was to bring balance to the force. And the Jedi were ahead by thousands. So, either the Sith would become equally powerful, or the Jedi’s were to get served up to a scant few, which is what happened. Everyone seemed shocked by these events. I still don’t get it.

Sarah Palin recent tweet:  “Extreme Greenies: see now why we push “drill,baby,drill” of known reserves&promising in safe onshore places like ANWR? Now do you get it?”

I realize she’s pigeon-holed herself as America’s Mom, and everything.  But, I can do without the condescension.  Being all “I told you so” is going to get people defensive instead of considering your point.  Not that I believe what she’s saying anyway, there’s plenty of footage of her campaigning for extended off-shore drilling.

A-Rod doesn’t seem to want the record anymoreEver since he was like “I’m on teh roids lol” he’s not swinging for the fences. This makes me a sad panda. -ImpliedOffense

Well, because of his steroid usage, it’s been tainted.   It’s best he keeps quiet and cross bridges as he comes to them.  I’d rather not double the amount of complete douchebag juicers on top of the HR list. But you are free to hope as you choose.

Do women withhold sex as a form of coercion or punishment? This is another one of those issues that perplexes me whenever I contemplate female sexuality. I’m genuinely curious to know if (a) this is a widespread occurrence, and (b) why a woman would do this at all. -amazingbagman

Really?  After centuries of sexual repression, objectification and double-standards, you need to ask why women use sex as a weapon?  Really, dude?  I hope you are good looking.

Someone Steps on Your Sneakers; pull knife, pull gun, or punch them?  I did option 1 today when some cracker stepped on my Jordans. I went easy on him since they are kinda old, I’ve had them for two whole months.  -FritosInyoAss

Well, traditionally people expect shoes to take a beating. You know, due to the close proximity and repeated contact with THE GROUND.  An accident is one thing. Completely unacceptable to get upset over. If not this, then you’d kick a curb or catch a screw on the train or something.  On purpose is another. You’d best equalize or answer with superior aggression if you got the numbers, size and/or skill., in any situation someone is trying to bring you undue negativity.

The What’s What, Volume 20

Is there anyone you would die for? Like, would you dive on a grenade? -Nights_Of_Malted

I don’t think anyone knows how they’d react to that situation until they get there.
I bet 50% of people are surprised with their own reactions. Hopefully, I never have to find out.

Which is worse? Necrophilia, Bestiality, or Incest? -CarmeloDaFellow

Incest is the only one with a victim that could be scarred from the experience, so I guess I’ll go with that.

Would you BANG Paige Davis? -Version4.1

I would rather spend an hour tenderly kneading Samantha Brown with my mouth in any one of her thousands of luxury hotel stays, that little mynx.  Really, I’d just like to have dinner with her.  Most of my feelings stem from her attitude.  Shes got a very refreshing outlook.

If you were a Jedi, would you have likely followed the path of Vadar? -JuggledNuts

Probably not, I’d be able to tell that the Chancellor is dirty.  But I’ll be damned if I’m not sexing up alien ladies.  Also, just to be clear, I’m posting any question you pose as long as you keep sending them from that e-mail address.  JuggledNuts is a great e-mail name.

If the Bible says to love everyone why do all christains hate gays? that seems mighty hypocritical to me. how can a religion with so many obvious problems last so long. -Shawllin

Don’t get confused; Jesus loves everyone, God hates gays.  Seriously though, you are generalizing, you can’t get anyone to agree on anything these days.

The video game industry has grown. Only problem is that they have become an “industry”. This has been beneficial to many people, including gamers. But I can’t help want to go back in time. When the outside world looked at gamers and laughed, while we had fun. It’s not even about the “console wars”, they have and always will be around.
But it feels that our space have been taken over. Not by “casuals” or the so called “hardcore”. But by those same people who laughed at us. Doesn’t even matter what camp they belong to. -blueconsole

Interesting opinion. I guess I just can’t see it that way. I don’t remember anyone laughing at me because I played video games. Though I realize your talking in social generalities, I can’t tell you if they weren’t doing it to me or I just didn’t care enough to notice.
If they did I’d probably just be glad they were laughing with us now, to our benefit, surely.

If you could change to color of your sperm what color would you pick? -SeanAwesome13

Rainbow, no doubt.  If that would happen, I could get a catch phrase for the climax too, something like “Pot o’ GOOOOOOOOOOOOLD!” or something.

Why go to Subway when I could make my own sandwiches at home? And cheaper than what I can pay there as well. No point whatsoever. -CoachGenero

Small price to pay to have your sub made by a “sandwich artist”.  When you get 2 hours of training and a video, then we’ll talk.