The What’s What, Volume 157

Is ordering a burrito bowl the gayest thing ever? I love women… that’s the point, it’s a woman’s order, not a man’s. I will give any man ordering a “bowl” shit. I expect women to do it lol, it was invented for them. -JohnMcClane

If you enjoy stuffing a warm thick dense skin-like object with a fold at the top like a foreskin into your mouth, you can knock yourself out all day. But you’re going to sound like an idiot arguing that eating a burrito is somehow more manly than a bowl of food with a fucking fork, which you can use to kill assailants at any time during the meal. Your contention is wholly fucking ludicrous, and I wont stand for it.

Star Wars trailer? Star Wars trailer. -FlagstaffMerc

The Millennium Falcon sucks. There, I fucking said it.

Lukes XWing single-handedly blows up the Death Star, its still some random nameless X-Wing. There’s countless models of YT-1300s floating about the galaxy, but you are getting excited when you see a 1992 Honda Civic because the admittedly proud liar who drives the thing says its awesome. And we fucking eat it up like winter oatmeal. We let our panties melt by the big-talking sailor with a cute face and a leather vest.

Oh, it broke some important time on some training run like decades ago between movies, says the admitted criminal? Im sure that happened. Especially since every time we see the bolt and nutload on screen, it’s breaking down or under performing until JUST the right moment, and were supposed to somehow believe it makes another 30 years without being heaped? It was barely a functioning junk heap at the time and there is absolutely no reason for it existence in a sequel taking place decades later.

Rate Buffalo Wild Wings / 10 Just brought some home. Got boneless jalapeno seasoning and regular buffalo seasoning. Having it with beer. 8.5/10 pretty damn good -ignoramasaurus

Sorry, I just can’t. The sauces are fine. Fatty and salty, but so are all sauces. The chicken is processed or barded. It doesn’t need to be. They could have a real wholesome chicken joint if they wanted to. But they’d rather make a few more pennies selling filler and synthetic fats with microwaves. Which Im not even against in occasional moderation. But there are better flavours Im willing to trade in for minutes of life, and these dont cut it for me. No thanks. But you have fun. 3/10

I dont think your as intelligent as you think you are. -zer00

I dont think Im all that smart. I may just have a different way of seeing things than the majority of people. It’s not always right, I get that. But YOURE essentially Stevie Wonder calling Ray Charles an asshole because he’s black, blind and has a successful piano career. That doesnt seem that bright, either.

So Far Cry’s driving controls could be worst ever. Loving the game so far, gorgeous and fun. Hard to believe it came from the same developer as AC Unity. That being said, if it wasn’t for autodrive, I would never drive in the game. -pswii60

I dont mind the Far Cry driving. It makes for shooting people easier than using 3 trigger buttons at the same time or whatever. Just the brakes are a problem. I dont have issues steering or getting around. Its kind of refreshing, larfy and fun. Fast Travel and running always good, too.

My girlfriend claims she hasnt farted in three years, we’ve been dating for two. Thats a normal body function. How can this be? Is that possible or is she a liar? -TerminalRage

I recently barfed for the first time since May 10th, 2009. Yes, I know the exact date and time thanks to Google Calendar. But, THATS a normal body function. Maybe she just stifles farts until shes sleeping. If you hold it in, does a fart really still exist? Does she burp a lot? I only have more questions, because I am not a gastro-enterologist. I wouldnt let it get to you. At worst, shes lying about a small embarrassment.

I really hope after Craig is gone that Bond goes back to being more tongue in cheek. But it won’t happen -BeLump

That shit was super campy for me, even before Austin Powers. I prefer the way it is now. I suppose Id make my own changes, but I absolutely enjoy the recent trend towards fictional documentaries like Damons Bourne and Craigs Bond. I dont mind the occasional wisecrack, but I see comedies for laughs. I go to movie theatres so the big kabooms can fuck my eyeballs for me.

Worst Christmas trend this year? -CanadiAnne

Maybe just more common for me this year were people who spend the first 24 days of December preaching about keeping the Christ in Christmas, but then posting photos of presents and wrapping paper everywhere on the actual day. I didnt see one picture of a prayer gathering or church service. I dont think they even got the contradiction. Itll be around next year, too.

So they’re going to merge Men in Black with 21 Jumpstreet. Sounds ridiculous, but also funny. -OAmber

Is Men In Black really that popular, still? Cant we have the guy who wrote “The Other Guys” write another buddy cop movie for Hill and Tatum or something? Put them in SuperTroopers 2, I dont care. These guys are funny and all, but I dont need more CGI celebrity aliens. I think weve all outgrown that, as a culture.

If you do heroin one time, will it mess you up forever? -codcmndr

It depends. Will doing it once change your mind on just doing it once?

The What’s What, Volume 29

My 18 year old cousin hurts my heart… I’m talking about real shit here man. My cousin is a God damn whore. Now she’s living with a damn crack head selling her ass. It’s painful to watch her because God knows we tried to help her.  -4lock

I doubt it, Gods been paying nickels for that ass all week.

favorite hot pocket? -bloogoo

Either Supreme, or Italian four meat/four cheese.

Honestly in porn.. does the guy matter to you at all? Meaning, if it’s a hot chick ****ing a goldenboy, is that different than the same hot chick ****ing a hobo? -mattitude17

As long as he’s not making retarded jokes. Guys don’t bring anything TO the table in porn, so they’re only job is to not take anything FROM the table.

Do you understand how the United States economy works? -salgood

I don’t claim to know, but I don’t claim to care either.

THE THING I HATE MOST IN THE WORLD! MANUAL CARS!!!! arghhh why cant people just get with the times
they should stop making them… I just want all cars to be auto then I could reach my dream of becoming a police officer!!!  -Jonathan_Drama

Manual is way better once you learn. More control of the car. The car is safer because it’s waaaaay lighter. Also, many girls think driving a manual is sexy. Go ahead, ask them.

What’s a career you feel you’d be perfect for but will likely never do? For me, it would be a career in law, specifically a lawyer, then a judge. -Ganon_Jones

Park Ranger.  I love the outside, and feel strongly in protecting it. Plus, I’m even-keeled and don’t mind being alone.

On the real… Why is beef jerky so expensive? 6 bucks!?!? -acquacurse

Because they have to use real meat.  The higher the quality of meat, the higher quality of jerky.  You are buying a bag of ready-to-eat flavoured steak, how should this not be expensive?

Is Quantum of Solace a “stand-alone” movie? I know you might not have seen it. But do you know if you need to see Casino Royale before you see it? -Melon_collie

No, you have to watch the previous 21 movies in order to be able to follow along with the explosions and car chasing.

Has anything weird ever come up on shuffle while you were doing the dirty? -MizzerAble

“Aids” by Ween.  We laughed and she hit FF with her toe, and the scrumping recommenced.