The What’s What, Volume 13

You are a person with no religion, where do you get your morals? -mafia149

There alot to be said for the instincts of morality.  Alot of people see benefits in supporting others, naturally.

Is it wrong to say that Africa is extremely uncivilized? -Burntcheese

They’re civilized enough to milk retarded Americans from their bank accounts over the internet.  So, they got that going for them.

Is G4 an epic failure of a channel? I flip through it occasionally and it’s. just. awful. I don’t know why it’s still on air.  X-Play sucks donkey balls and is so one-sided it’s not even funny. -RuebenPubes

When a video game channel stops talking down to its audience with immature writing, zany “in your face” hosting, and shaky cameras for extreme effects, the public will not allow itself to take it seriously.  Any industry that thinks its doing its customers a favour by referring to them as and marketing to them as “pimply faced virginal teenagers” is not going to succeed.

Ever since Guitar Hero appeared on the market, people don’t care about Dance Dance Revolution. It just overtook it. But Guitar Hero gives that feeling of being a rockstar.  Still show DDR some love. -HiRoll3r

You mean those idiots dancing all the time in front of people at movie theatres and arcades thinking that people were admiring them when, in fact, they were ridiculing them, gained no tangible positive long-term effects?  All that training in synchronized hopping paid no real life benefits?  I’m shocked.

Would you rather date a stripper or a porn star? On the one hand the porn star would be extremely experienced. Extremely, but the stripper also knows quite a bit of moves. The porn star’s sausage wallet would be way more loose than the stripper, though. Lets say the chances of them having an std is equal. They are equally hot and you can’t have both. -Edamiller

Which ever one would allow me to sit in her house all day, eating her food and playing PS3.

If Toby is really gone from The Office I’ll probably stop watching even though I like Amy Ryan’s character a lot. -Farleylives

I almost peed my pants when Kevin was getting food from the vending machine, and the new HR girl thinks hes retarded.  I love the new angle.  Toby was a wet blanket. Good Riddance.

fargo is such a great movie YA DARN TOOTIN! -hjde4450

You were such a supah lady! *sobs uncontrollably*

i’m thinking of opening a topless barber shop…. i need a name for it and I’m stuck on “a bit off the top” any suggestions? -ChesterBronzekettle

Trim ‘n Trim?

You wake up and the Earth is empty of humans.  What do you do? -SmallFarva

Probably rob a bank first, just in case its temporary.  Then Id probably play Corvette demo derby.  Drive a few luxury sedans full of fireworks off cliffs.  Maybe burn down some places I think suck. It be pretty destructive for a while.  After that I’d probably try to wrap my head around how solar power works, so I can get to handling when the power grid shuts down.

Remember “Who let the dogs out”? -blanketmedia

*Does the macarena*

I’m 17 and waitresses still ask me if I want a “big person” menu at restaurants. What the hell. I hate looking so freaking young. I will be ID’d till I’m in my 40s at this rate. -pokemaniac1311

Tell her “If you want a “big person tip.”  Only really hit “Big person tip” with inflection and finger quotes.  She’ll get the point.  Also, Pokemon e-mail addresses aren’t doing your adult credibility any favours.

Are there any real life facilities that have a self destruct sequence? I don’t know. -P_O_T_G

I read somewhere that the the UberSuper conductor they are building has 24 independent points they can cut off a test with large explosions.  It would destroy the superconductor.

Why do people hate hippies? -Kryogenetix

People just hate preachers. The people that think that their way of living should be imposed on everyone. And hippiedom has a high percentage of preachers; Vegetarians, pacifists, idealists.  Most hippies believe that what they are doing should be the way for everyone. Its the same reason I hate most churchie republicans.

As it Turns Out, Transformers are Galactic Hippies

While trying to wrap my head around the Transformers movie plot line last night, and consistently failing, I noticed the profound psychological argument embedded in Transformers I had somehow missed when I was 7.  Quick review, so the AutoBots (Good Transformers) come to Earth to stop the Decepticons (Bad Transformers) from getting this super powerful cube.  Of which the main function of, apparently, is killing humans by transforming things into human killing robots.  From what I can understand, the only reason these robots exist on planet CyberTron is to either destroy or protect humans, some light years away, presumably.  Ones name is “BoneCrusher” for some reason.  Like they know what “Bones” are, and how desperatly they are in need of “crushing” on planet Earth.  Anyway, theres a big existential debate between the good robots and bad robots on if humans should live.  One wants to kill us (for seemingly no reason), and the other wants to protect us because we deserve the option of whether to live or die.  Optimus Prime (leader of good robots) claims he would gladly give his life to save our waaaaay underdeveloped species.  He is to humans, what Hayden Panittiere is to whales.  Hes the Alicia Silverstone, standing up for those who cannot, by throwing the red paint of justice and righteousness at the evil Megatron.  And while Optimus Prime has the job of War General, BumbleBee has the only job of helping the main character renegade the panties of the most popular chick in school.  Really, this is the plot.  Somehow, one of the transformers is black.  Get this, hes the only good robot to die in the movie.  I guess they really did their research.