The What’s What, Volume 111

Are you Overweight? *just curious* -CHIPMUNKGIGGLES

My WiiFit claims I am.  I’m 5’11” and weight 180.  I don’t feel or look  fat though.

Is paying for dinner a good enough birthday present? -BROntosaurausMax

Depends. Lady friend you want to slide something inside? No.  Family member or platonic friend?  Yeah, sure. As long as they pick the place.  If its a milestone birthday, you might consider picking up a little extra; card, lottery tickets, chocolate or something, though.

Bill Nye the Science Guy collapses during speech. Students text and update Twitter rather than help him!  -Melonchomfortable

Was he speaking to medical students? Because if I pass out on stage, the last thing I want is a bunch of kids crowding around me thinking they can help, gaffling my wallets, and taking pictures of me with a retarded look on my face.

explain what’s going on in Harry Potter up to the new movie. I’m going to see it with my friends and I haven’t seen any since the Goblet of Fire I think -BroncksBommahs2

Something about Baltimore, I mean, Voldemort putting his power into objects, called horcruxes.  Potter & Company have to collect 7 for the final showdown or something, they already killed 2 or 3 and need to find the rest.  Everyone is exiting puberty, getting horny and prepping to link up with each other.  That, seriously, is the summary of the first 5 movies in terms of long term plot in two sentences.

So why is CNN calling those Chilean miners “heros”? -GMAustra1ia

Because they can’t spell “heroes”.  I kid. Has it been that long since I’ve updated.  I feel bad now.  But I don’t really care about the miners.  I’m glad they got out.  That’s all, really.

What parts of the US Constitution does the government hate? -Superman242

For the people, and of the people.  They really like by the people.

I have a crap load of kief, how exactly are you supposed to smoke it? I would like to optimize the potential of this kief. -5harkBoy

Do NOT smoke it as is. Packing a bowl is going to waste a lot of keef because youll suck the dust through whatever piece you are using. Plus it’s harsh, and it will get you crazy high, so its best to portion it thusly.  Couple ways.  As a sundae topping on crappy weed bonghits.  Make tiny balls of sticky resin, and roll them through keef, making “truffles”. This is my preferred method when I’m out of green.  Licking the ends of your cigarette and dipping in, for enlightening yourself in stealthy fashion.  Enjoy.

Have You Ever Been Or Are Now a Bandwagon Fan?  I haven’t been on any teams bandwagon. -B_Alone

Maybe?  I root for my teams until theres no chance of making the playoffs, then I’ll jump on another ship just to keep the season exciting. Usually an underdog or something, never a rival of my chosen teams. Just something to keep my interest.

Italian food is one of the bases of all culinary mastery, behind French cuisine. -Rob922004

You sound educated, but are spewing lies. Probably told to you by someone trying to enhance their heritage.  Italians didnt invent any cooking techniques. Pasta was invented by the chinese. Everything classically Italian has tomato and cheese on it. Everything. If you go to a Italian restaurant and order something without tomato and cheese on it, (ie Marsala, Madiera, Picatta) its Italian wine. Those dishes are actually French.  A famous running joke for DOUBLE DIGIT CENTURIES is to put sauce and cheese on something and call it “<Meat> Italiano”.  It’s delicious and foolproof, I’ll give you all that.  It’s just not original cuisine, nor a basis for culinary mastery.

The What’s What, Volume 64

Your issues with the movie Watchmen would be best served by reading the graphic novel.  It was a movie for people who were fans, if you don’t like it, get the fuck out. -JoystickJesus

It’s the same thing with Harry Potter.  Movies are not 2 1/2 hour book commercials.  Movies should be able to stand alone.  If a normal person buys a ticket, pays attention, and leaves the theatre confused on any key point, then the movie has done a disservice to the paying customer.

I noticed you’ve been playing a lot of Fat Princess. What exactly is it?  Is it fun?  There’s no demo. -SeminoldTimer

It’s capture the flag only the flag is a princess that your make more difficult to carry by feeding her cake. Plus there is wizards, priests, warriors, rangers and worker classes to choose from at any point you wish during the game.  Hell yes it’s fun, a mix of button mashing mayhem and strategy.  (Anyone reading this with a PS3, please feel free to send a friend request to MetaCognitionist)

Do you think Bob Saget is funny? I think people only think hes funny because he used to be Mr Tanner and now hes saying bad words.  -MysticalOfficer

Saying shocking things does not necessarily make them funny.  His stand-up is worthless, but his acting is funny. He’s only funny when others write the funny for him.

Is Socom Confrontation the biggest failure of this generation? I mean seriously. Horrible at launch, released with only 8 maps, And still no MAP PACK, COD WAW has 3.   Still waiting for a patch to fix the famas and the clan ladders ,  Not even gonna talk about the inability to shoot out of windows and over rails…. and yet, with all this i played the game like hell for about 4 months, i just recently said fuck it i put it away.   Slant six fails so hard. -LegolassMan

SOCOM is pretty fail. Complete lack of single player or tutorial completely removes the fun for any rookies who haven’t played it.   Plus the installation and load times are shockingly ridiculous.   It’s the only game I have regretted purchasing this generation that’s for sure.

If Jesus had died 20 years ago, Christians would be wearing electric chairs instead of crucifixes. -Sharkaroo

Interesting point. I’m not sure he broke any of today’s laws, though.  Plus we would have visual record of him committing miracles.  I agree that someones method of death is a bad symbol for their lives, if that is your point, but I’m not sure it translates to today’s time.

Wait.. RadioShack is going to be called just “The Shack” now? Bad move.-GermanApologist

Really? You don’t think that the term “Radio” harbors a little bit of credibility issues for a cutting edge electronics store?

Imagine being the children of a porn star???-InfinityZero

I can’t decide what’s worse.  Being a teenage boy and completely mortified to look at porn in case you accidentally see your Mom catching a mouthful from 12 dudes in public.  Or having to deal with your friends that have.  Poor bastards.

Should cops be respected more than the average citizen?-Superdickery

Everyone deserves only the respect they earn. This goes for cops, strangers, your parents, everyone.

Do you usually laugh at your own jokes?  -ManJuiceLunatic

It’s okay to do so if you are being witty and making immediate jokes based on a situation that just happened.  If you write jokes for a living, argue over the proper wording in the writers room, and then laugh while telling them hours later, you are a failure. See Bill Maher, and Jimmy Fallon.

What are your impressions on the Batman: Arkham Asylum demo?-CockoldFart

Fun to play and looks nice. I particularly like the way the game visuals transform into comic book illustrations when you pause the game.  But yeah, there doesn’t seem to be much in the way of replayability, but I’m at least renting the game, for sure.

Oh Boo-fucking-hoo.  Cry about your  ex-girlfriend some more. Way to hold a grudge. –jasonnasojjason

I was asked a question.  I wanted to be clear that her having sex with someone else wasn’t really the problem.  It was that her attitude changed towards me,  she realized this and used me  instead of dumping me.   I’m certainly not holding a grudge against her.  I swear to God, it took me three days to remember her last name, and I’m still not convinced I remember it correctly.  Just because I know from previous experiences that I don’t like the kind of person she is, and we would not get along, doesn’t mean I’m holding a grudge.  It means I let history influence decisions.  I didn’t mean to come off sounding still wounded or anything.  Other people suck too, I’m not losing any sleep over them, either.

you do realize that religion only exists because it’s a trillion dollar industry, right?  -Soggypillow

Just like any other business, most money goes into advertising which never tells the truth.  They should run with something like “Catholocism: Subsidizing teenage nut juggling for over 1500 years.”

Do you think you could take a dump on a chick’s face if she asked you to? I was thinking I could, but not if I liked her and she knew any of my friends though. -DrayDizzle

Wait. Your crapping on a girls face and your worried about what your friends would think ABOUT YOU if she told them? Like you would be the one to be embarrassed in that situation?   “Oh yeah? Well, I’m gonna tell all your friends that you shit on my face! That’ll show you!”

Pepsi & Mountain Dew Throwback will return!! On facebook & twitter Pepsi announced the throwbacks will be making a comeback December 28-February 22.-DataLovesJordi

I loved them both, and will support their return with purchases.  If you are a perceptive reader, thanks for the heads up.  If you are a corporate shill googling where your products are mentioned and sending me a mail to pimp your shit, then fuck yourself with a Coke bottle.

How did your meteor shower night golf event thing go? -Crow754

Great, thanks for asking.  I lost but played well and the weather cooperated.  The group confirmed 8 meteors in 3+ hours.  The only bad thing were the mosquitoes.  It sucks being the only food source available for these bastards within the mile.

Wow, Youkilis really made himself look like a fool… Porcello looks smaller than him too. -CaptDrawers

They both looked foolish.  Porcello backing away with his hands raised leading Youkilis to Porcellos defenders is a bitch move.  But so is throwing your helmet and getting your momentum shifted by someone 40 pounds lighter than you.  It wasn’t a good thing for either of them.

Is Mad Men a good show? I’m interested in the new season, but I’ve never seen it.  -Illegalsubstance

Its in my top 5 right now.  You might want to Netflix the first couple of seasons. Not because the stories are so complex, Im sure you could piece it together. Its mostly awesome because of the sets, acting and the authenticity feel of the writing. I haven’t seen the new season so I’m not sure how much info you would need to follow along.

Have you ever used pages of the Bible or record sheaths as joint paper?-LifeofStrife

Yes. In a hotel while travelling cross country. We used Genesis because we figure everyone already knew that story.