The What’s What, Volume 92

Do you think the next GTA will be able to break the single day sales record again? MW2 made it pretty tough. -DaGaym

Well, something will, at some point.  MW2 will not last forever, I promise. Even if it takes MW3.

Going to the circus Friday. Haven’t been to the circus since the 6th grade. I’m going to ride the elephant.  -MightyMaybe

And a clown will likely molest you. They’re like the priests of carnivals, don’t let the makeup fool you.

lol this girl gave me a bj in bathroom then made out with my friend.  Then i was standing with a different friend and her and joking about it. And i told her to suck that friends dick and she did for 10 seconds. Then she went inside and made out with the other friend again. He knows nothing about it and its his regular booty call. Little does he know we both had sex with her in the past.  LMAO if only he knew. A girl just sucked two of his friends dick then made out with him within a 30min period. This is not a white trash situation either. This is a hot 105lb asain chick that works for abercrombie.  Ugh im surrounded by bad people. This is why i dont trust anyone anymore. Including myself. -HimandEric

I can’t tell if you are bragging about this?  Even if this is true, it paints you as a really bad friend.  I just don’t understand the brotherhood fraternity mentality of friendship. Its more like torturing dozens of each other into emotional bribery and blackmail instead of just building a few trusted relationships with partners in crime.  The groups of friends that you want getting your back in fights, are not the ones you want in a successful real life where there aren’t brawls breaking out, commonly. Just a heads up.

My Favorite nfl Player Is A Second-String Player, is that weird?  -ArkoftheGovernment

Since mine is retired, Barry Sanders, I say no.

So we’re about one season away from E3 2010 in Los Angeles; What are YOU hoping for this year? -BestServant

I’d like to see a good crop of innovative software titles, and less of the wii motion control shenanigans catered to from Sony and XBox.  I’d like the sandbox genre to continue to get more popular, expansive, and varied. I’d like for Nintendo to drop an Animal Crossing for the Wii. A new one and everything. Seriously. Those three and it’s going to be an expensive season for me.

What exactly is a plea of “No Contest”? I dont really understand it. -NinjaFlapper

From what I understand, people only use it when they accept a plea bargain from the Law but want to be able to defend themselves in civil court.

Played the Just Cause 2 demo yet? -DynamicBarbarian

Yes.  Also, I bought the game Day 1.  It’s amazing.  Huge open world.  Your main method of transportation is a parachute/grappling hook combo.  The missions are varied and fun, I highly recommend it.

Pugs are seriously the best dogs of all time. -RileyV113

A buddy of mine’s girlfriend has one and besides the fact that its ugly as hell and fires the nastiest smelling shitfire acid on his belongings unless he takes it to the vet/groomers every two weeks to get its rectum squelched, it’s really a nice pet.  You should get a couple.

My buddy keeps going on and on about how the Simpsons are not funny and how Family Guy is a way better cartoon.  Whatever, it’s an opinion, but he feels superior to those who prefer Simpsons. Anything I can tell him to shut up? -FreeBoobies

I’d wager Seth McFarlane considers the Simpsons an inspiration.  It’s cool to have a preference, but to call the Simpsons not funny, even if you think it’s true, makes you seem overemotional about the topic to the point where your credibility is a serious concern.

The What’s What, Volume 73

Dude, Chad Ochocinco not only reads your blog but he’s been stealing your pick-up tips.  He claimed to invent the “borrow a girls cell phone and call your own number” routine that you had published months before Hard Knocks was taped. -Maleman

I’m sure other people get good ideas, too. I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt.  I posted my successful pick-up techniques so others could reap the benefits now that I am married.  I won’t take an issue with the situation until he tweets that he invented “wingman goes first” or tells the story about how he kicked a little kid in the face for peeping on his lady in a dressing room.

Rush Limbaugh dropped by group trying to buy American Football team, thoughts? -Czechlist

I thought that his defense that he was an entertainer and just saying divisive things simply to fill a void in the market and garner ratings wasn’t much of an excuse.  I certainly would respect him more if he believed in the things he’s talking about.  Like saying hateful divisive things is okay, if you are doing it for the money.  What kind of reasoning is that?

Poor Meghan McCain, I just saw her “controversial” pic. People are SOO lame. People are calling her a slut and stuff on her twitter because of this picture of her in a tank top. -loverslayer

I’ll be sure to feel sorry for an attention whore who’s just now finding out that all attention is not pleasant.  Shes getting what shes asking for, and making herself feel better by blaming others.  Up hers.

What movie monster/villain would you have sex with? -Triggah2K8

Mystique, hands down.   She could be any woman you wanted for the evening, including any other villan you could come up with.

so do gay people get off by looking at their gay parts? -nivekkevin

Only the narcissistic ones.

I hate when someone is playing video games on TV or in movies.  Can you possibly overact more? Who plays video games like that?  Jesus.  -Otaku21

And then they stop playing to have a conversation and the game is still being played by an invisible entity.  That’s what kills me.

Who ya got on Top Chef Las Vegas? -phkb33

I still can’t believe they dumped Ash for cat food maker.  I mean, obviously they kept Robin in because she breeds drama and she’s the only one giving it to them.  So, she’ll stick around until the shows credibility is completely used up, which already might have happened in everyones eyes but the producers.

I take issue with Tom Colicchio giving Ash flak for complimenting the older twin, saying it was an honour to wash Picasso’s paint brushes.   At least he’s honest. All the Italian Mike guy does is pump himself up and shit on everyone else, and he’s not better a better cook than Ash.

No one knew who the competition was until they got there. Is everyone who realizes someone is better than them supposed to drop out of the competition on the first day?  Its Tom Colicchios biggest mistake in 6 years, if you ask me.

But to answer the question,  Jennifer, Kevin and the twins, with Kevin and the older brother in the finale.  Kevin wins it all.  He’s awesome.

Hey Heene Family, awesome parenting. Be sure to leave a mysterious flying machine within arms length of your kids. -CanadiAnne

Questionable parenting, but legitimate engineering.

If you like Vice City more than San Andreas, it’s only because you are racist. -SkullandCrown

VC had better story and voice acting. But, that small advantage completely pales in comparison to the epic awesomeness that SA offered.  If you prefer gameplay to storylines and voice acting, and claim VC is a better game, then you are likely a racist.

How much is the Roman Catholic Church including the Vatican worth? -infodeleted

In what currency? US Dollars? Italian Lira? 11 year-old penises? Blood of the non-believers?

whats your favorite film made before 1970?  Mine is the Manchurian Candidate. -hezzbowler

Easy Rider,  North by Northwest, Reefer Madness, The Sting? Was that pre 70? Or is the Black and White throwing me off?

The Whats What, Volume 11 (GTA IV special)

No planes in GTA IV.  We’ve been grounded – Todd_Easter

Yeah, I was disappointed when I heard this too.  But now that I play, Im not missing it all that much.  Would the game be enhanced with planes and parachutes?  Yes.  Am I playing happily without thinking about the missing planes and parachutes?  Yes.

I enjoyed all the empty space San Andreas had. It was a nice break from the Urban Environments. Nothing like driving in the desert as the sun set, while listening to Free Bird.  Some of the Desert and even the mountain/forest area were just cool to cruise through. Made it actually feel like it was a real world. -blading2001

I couldnt agree more.  Completely disheartening to know that enough chuckleheads needed constant action to whine about ruined my ideal of fun.  If you were out in the middle of nowhere and smashed your ride, YOU SHOULDNT HAVE SMASHED YOUR RIDE, ASSHOLE.

I still remember my most guilty pleasure from GTA3 I would use a cheat where all peds had weapons and they were also hostile then i would just sit back or drive around and watch the carnage i still remember when this one chick in a skirt wasted a cop car driving by with a rocket launcher -shyguy5454

I liked gambling on horses.  Still do, in fact.  I also suggest filling a bus with gang members and driving it off Mount Chiliad. They scream like little girls one by one as they get off the bus into a free fall.  Hilarious.

What’s your favorite radio station?  – Kyoot_Hilly

My stats claim Journey as my favorite radio station.  I listen to Radio Broker, The Jazz Stations (Fusion particularly) and Journey.  Journey gets a bad rap, but I think its great driving music.  It doesn’t drown out the sound effects and the voices of NPC’s.   Also, if you are in a cab and change the station, the way Niko asks is great;  “uhhhh, I don;t want to be trouble, but can we listen to something else, my friend?  I WANT to HEAR Juuuuurrrrrney.”

Which version are you getting?  I don’t care DLC because Im sure all versions will have some sort of exclusive downloadable stuff in the future. – HazzardUSS

Though the XBox Achievements looks pretty cool, I decided to run with a PS3 for a few reasons.  Blue Ray DVD player for my new 52″ Flat screen, the friends I want to play with have PS3. (Save one important exception whos lady friend thought systems were the same and got him an XBox.  Hes not unhappy though, we’re not Sony Fanboys or anything) im familiar with the controller, and I am pretty interested in PSHome to drop round Christmas.

Detailed chronology of your plans for 4/29/08.  Go.  – the_future420

8a-5pm = work
5-5:05 = 2 bonghits
5:05-6pm = Around the Horn and PTI
6pm-7pm = Dinner (Homemade Chinese food)
7pm-11pm = Nap
11-11:30 = more bonghits
11:30-Mid = BlockBuster for game
12:15am-8pm Tuesday- GTA:IV and bonghits

I took Tuesday off of work to play the game all day.  Also, I pre-ordered the game at BlockBuster.   I showed up 10 minutes before midnight.  Was first in line.  Meanwhile Gamestop, less than 800 yards away had a line of at least 100 people.  A lot of stores re-opened at midnight, yet all I heard about was Gamestop, like the game was better from there or something.  I even got a free picture frame with Nikos picture inside.

New driving, Buy or Sell? cause it seams like the diving gets knocked the most and IMO the driving is great and much improved over past Gtas -jewbacca32

Ill be honest, I was worried it had ruined the game at first.  Now, I legitimately enjoy the challenge.  Its better than SA for sure.  Makes racing on-line fun, also.  And it is the main reason I now consider GTA no longer a game, but a simulator to avoid police capture.  Combine realistic driving with better cop AI, factor in the tactics you need to use to lose the cops, and this is no longer a game in my eyes.  BUY.

It is absolutely incredible.  I mean .. It’s so amazing that I took a cab to my next mission, it was like an 8 minute ride, and I didn’t rush the cab driver (thats an option). I just stared out the window and appreciated a living, breathing city.  Sorry, but just had to get it out there.  -Albino_Ferret

Taxis are great, they let me get to your destination in the amount of time I desire, with no hassle from the cops, while I learn about the city as I’m packing my bong!  Romans cab service is better even, because the poor guy astutely ridicules you for the entire trip!

For us Eastern European guys, GTA IV is heaven Finally a game we can relate too.. seeing the Albanian mob in the game is awesome!  San Andreas sucked balls.. worst theme ever -Negativiteen

In GTA 4, Game plays you!  Finally, a poster of someone other than Vlade Divac on Serbian bedroom walls everywhere.  Congrats to all of you.

The TV shows in GTA IV are amazingly funny. Such creativity, you can actually sit there and watch them for a long period of time haha. -Babedlam

Republican Space Rangers, for the win.  When they shot the tentacle off the purple octopus with the light bulb on his head offering  peace, I almost fell out of my chair. My friends and I have a controller rotation going. I get three mission attempts, safe house to save, watch TV while we all take a bong hit, hand the controller to the next man for his three missions.  The TV keeps us all well entertained.

GTA4: Brucie or Patrick. I can’t decide Which character do you like more?  -Orangepeel

Brucie is irritating.  Packie seems to run things effeciently, plus I feel like I am part of his family and he’ll never turn on me.  Patrick, in a landslide.

Do you stop and pay the tolls in GTA4? I did at first, now I just haul ass and outrun my wanted level. Eat that toll booth guy!! -OKSteerChalupa

Yeah, Im embarrassed to admit that I do.
I like squeezing to the front of the line and honking at the bastard standing at the open gate.

What’s your PS3 multiplayer name? -Nizbart

Metacognitionist.  Feel free to add me to your friends list, anyone.

Stay well in Liberty City, all!

The Whats What, Volume 4

Would you bang Leela from Futurama? -gazzilla8k

Probably, but just because shes a celebrity.  The one-eye things seems like it could get in the way.  How would I know if she’s winking at me, or just blinking?  The only thing that really bothers me about the situation, is that Id have Zap Brannigans sloppy seconds.  Im not sure if Im down with that.

If you had to choose what game coming out in 08 to be the only game you’d play the rest of your life which 08 game would be your eternal game forever? -conkerfan5

I know theres a lot of hype about Brawl & Metal Gear Solid 4.  But, Ill give the benefit of the doubt to R* and go with GrandTheftAuto:IV.  Seriously, Im still playing San Andreas.  Im disappointed the map is smaller and there are no flying machines.  I still cant believe that the majority of people were complaining that the game is too big.  I mean, it takes 5-10 minutes to get from your house to the Vegas strip by car.     During the commute, you probably ran over three pedestrians and lost a cop tailing you. And this was a problem with everyone?  Ridiculous.

My wife and I have had to change sex positions now that she’s pregnant, its lead to some amazing discoveries.  -omnivus

Sweet.  I will probably not be having sex with my wife while shes pregnant.  Not because I wouldn’t think pregnant women are attractive.  I just dont want to harm the baby with my immense penis.  Imagine, you’re a baby floating around your mom, “La La La, Im a little baby, maybe Ill kick today… La La La” and *WHAM* your dads penis is rammed into your forehead, several times.  How am I supposed to look my child in the eye when it comes out?  Like its not crowded enough in there, I gotta go implant a boystick into the tight quarters?  No thanks.

Do you eat McDonalds Fish Filet’s on Fridays (in lent)? -Centaurian

I don’t need to look  a calendar to enjoy a delicious Filet-O-Fish sammich.  Luckily, my God doesnt care when I enjoy the fruits of his work.  

Damn, did you HEAR? The MONTEL WILLIAM show is coming to an end in MAY I watch his show everyday at 1, except when he brings out that bitch Sylvia Brown. I bet she didn’t predict his show coming to an end this May.  – Penisocchio

Good riddance. Finally, the lowest form of accepted news medium is coming to a halt. Just an idiot with a microphone exploiting Americans for his own gain. Every single one of these shows is pompass, self serving, and anyone who is disappointed they are leaving is a sheep to the worst kind of shepard.  Fuuny line about Sylvia Brown, though.  I hate that liar.

Im not defending Natalee Hollaway’s killer but……  If the killers story is true, she is stupid as all hell.
Why are girls so ****ing stupid?’Hey im absolutely shit-faced and in a foreign country. Im going to find a random guy and drive off with him to a secluded area.’ Do women just think something like that is romantic or some ****?
Honestly, some young women are quite possibly the thickest people on the planet. -ilikefreemusic

The fact that she was drunk is obviously additional to the basic retardation most pretty girls suffer from anyway.  I dont care about her or finding her killers. Not because shes drunk, or a woman, or whatever. I just dont know her; Im not going to be outraged for her, when Im so complacent about all the other unnatural deaths seen every day on this planet.  I just want it to end so Nancy Grace shuts up for ten minutes.

Where should I go for lunch today?  -Annthym

You didnt leave any location info, so Ill just go with chains.  Red Robin, get the Banzai Burger.  I want to try the new Wendy’s Fish sandwhich.  So, theres an option.  When in doubt, the Burger King Rodeo Cheeseburger hits the spot.   Im gonna have leftover Chinese food.