The What’s What, Volume 84

Whats up with France owning the Muslims?  No burkas?  Shit is about to get real. -King_Of_Things

Oppressing oppression seems like hypocritical justice to me. I’m on the fence.

Ever eat Cream of Wheat? Best hot cereal ive ever had in my life. Add a little milk and a spoonfull of blueberry jam after its cooked -Wurrdz1

Not since they stopped making the Apples & Cinnamon green box version.   I can’t find it anywhere and it was the only kind I liked.

I main Archer on Fat Princess, you? -SooperToobes

I worker rock, timber, and machines until they’re set, and then it’s archer for me.   I like healing as a priest also, but that’s pretty much all I do.

My wife and I are wanting to “get into” wine. You know, so we can be pompous asses like Frasier Crane and sip wine all day long. Problem is there is a ton of it! So many different flavors, grape varieties, brands and on and on ad nauseam.
Any suggestions for first time drinkers? -IwontheInternet

I am currently into German wines, Riesling and Gewurztraminer.  I suggest going into a wine store, not necessarily a liquor store and simply talking to the sommalier if the have one, the good stores will. Or the owner or someone should ask you a couple simple questions like sweet/dry, red/white, food pairing, and price limit, and come up with a couple good suggestions.  I would also suggest researching tastings in your area.  That’s always a good start.  Good luck, enjoy.

I love watching vintage porn. I tend to watch it for the intricate plot and character development.  Just recently I watched one where a couple go out to a disco and it shows them afterward talking about how it went. He says something along the lines of, “I don’t know baby, I know other guys like that sorta of stuff but it just doesn’t really do it for me. Nothing compares to alone time with you.”  Then she’s like, “Well let’s do something about that. I think I can give you just what you want for your birthday” I’m thinking to myself, whoa whoa whoa since when is it this guy’s birthday? This is insane, I did NOT see this coming.  -Indubitably

LoL  What a twist. But, I agree. The plots are far more detailed and intricate with vintage porn.  My only complaint is the overuse of facial expressions during the actual act.   I don’t need proof that he’s enjoying his blowjob.

Why do people believe in aliens even though theres no physical proof of them? but not ghosts? -RedmanCoasting

We do have proof that all sorts of life can live on other planets because we have all sorts of life living on ours.  And with the proof of all this life and death on our planet, there is not proof of ghosts.   I think that’s a fair corollary to make.

So does Tiger Woods win the Lifetime Achievement award for Biggest Career Suicide Ever? -Travis-Tea

Maybe.  We’d have to see his career die first.  Who knows?  This might make him stronger.  In any event, I’d like to point out that Paul Reubens lost everything for masturbating to porn.   And don’t give me that “in public” jive.  You mean “in public” being an adult movie theatre?  Where theres a close-up of a 12 foot long penis being inserted into a gaping 3 foot wide vagina 20 feet from your face?  Who the FUCK is complaining about a penis in an adult movie theatre?

What’s the point of EBAY sniping? Just bid how much you’d be willing to pay and be done with it. I’m trying to get a certain game for a certain price. I’ve homed in on what I believe to be the lucky price.. that is, the price that it doesn’t go for very often, but that I’ll be able to get it at eventually.  The last seven in a row have gone exactly the same way. I have high bid until the last few minutes, and then some asshole puts in a last minute bid.  Just put in the god damned bid when you see the item, outbid me right away, and I can go on my way and bid on another item. This bidding/waiting/getting sniped/bidding on another auction is getting to me. -M0NoD_MD

So.  If I am following you correctly, you are claiming that you know how it works, can see it coming a mile away, choose not to use the strategy to your own means, and get pissed when the inevitable happens?  WELCOME TO HOW EBAY WORKS.

The What’s What, Volume 42

Who would win in a fight, the Hamburgler or Grimace? I think I’m going to have to side with Grimace on this one because he looks more fierce -Boboozol00

Though Grimace has a huge weight advantage, he’s got tiny tyrannosaurus arms of which he can’t even use to scratch his own nuts, if he had any.  Plus, the hamburglar has prison experience, I bet he fights dirty. I’d say Hamburglar weasels out of Grimaces tiny reach and shivs the purple blob in his back with a spork or happy meal toy, whichever is more dangerous this week.

Familiar with the show “Charmed”?  Ever watch it? -Closetdweller

Ill be flipping channels and stop on it because the girls are hot.  Then they’ll say something completely ridiculous like “But I thought the Amulet of Hamsammich vanquished him to the netherworld months ago.” and I’ll laugh openly and change the channel.

Favorite chess piece? -GMBrody99

Every time I see a different artists version of a chess board, it seems the bishop is the most open to interpretation and modification.  I like variety, so I’ll go with the bishop.

If weed was legalized would you smoke it more, or roughly the same as you do now? BossFoley4

My habit is pretty set, but I would smoke more if it were legalized, if only to cancel out the times that I have problems procuring it.

Michael Cera finally onboard the Arrested Development movie — it’s a go!  -MasterofScience

It’s nice of Michael Cera to throw a bone to a dozen of the least talented actors in Hollywood today. I mean, if this hadn’t happened for them, they have no other slightly popular projects to grasp at in hopes of getting work.  I’m looking at you, David Cross.

What makes you think you’re so cool? -WhatRichWhat

The fact that I don’t care whether I’m cool or not.

Why all the hate for Juno? -pantlessninja

It’s a movie written by a porn actress failure who stole her best friends problem in high school, exploited her issues, added in an abortion angle to get the movie edgy and controversial, and never gave a dime to the woman who lived the life.  What’s there to love? I’ll never see the movie, and talk badly about the author any chance I get.

Does anyone think LARPing might be kinda fun? Not all taken to the nerd extreme where you think it’s real and never break character or whatever….but I think running around and fighting with swords and stuff would be pretty fun. -12ptbucknaked

I would rather go to a renaissance fair. Some women throw down in haystacks at the drop of a hat if you are in character and costume. Even the slightest flirting has been met with a handy. Or so my friend swears. Plus, the costumes seem more comfortable.

Any ideas how to get my gf to open up to anal?  No pun intended.  -StoneJohnson

If you are having sex with her already, it’s easy. Gonna take a couple sessions. Let her be on top. While shes bouncing on your boystick, reach around and spread her ass cheeks. Circle your middle finger around her anus while shes working on orgasm, she’ll be too busy to say anything. Do this for two or three sessions. Advance on the situation by slowly introducing a fingertip in there. A session later, a knuckle. A session later two knuckles. She’ll pretty much be down for it at this point. Of course a lot of girls think if you like the ass, its because you like pounding dudes. Just a heads up.

If you sleep with a cousin of a cousin, is that incest?  I say it’s not because there is no genetic relation. -H4xsawTim

No blood? Good to flood.

I honestly find it impossible to not believe in ghosts, especially when there’s so many eyewitnesses out there who have seen ghosts first-handed. I know a lot of people have told me they’ve seen or experienced some kind of supernatural event, and these people are honest people, who would have no reason to lie, and definitely aren’t the crazy-type.
Even my parents and grandparents told me they’ve seen ghosts, and hell if they would lie about something like that.
So, what’s your take on this? -KSJayCock

It all boils down to people believing in what they want to believe in.They got scared, and don’t want to admit to themselves they allowed themselves to get all worked up over the reflection of moonlight off a window or something.
It sounds like you are insinuating that everyone doesn’t believe in ghosts until they see one and then become converts, where I offer that those who believe in ghosts already are more likely to claim they saw one.