Lol holy shit, this chick just blew up on me because I didn’t text her for a day. Now apparently she’s done with me, thinks I treat her like shit and is done with men in general. Either someone fucked her up good in the past or she met someone she wants more than me, either way, done with that mess. -sqwared2000
“I dont want you to text me EVERY DAY…. I want you TO WANT TO text me every day.” I’ve gotten that.
Do your legs stop working when taking a shit? Happens everytime, but this is that long shit, like 30 min in the bathroom shit. Can’t even get up after that. -failedspy
You sit all day at work or school and your legs dont fall asleep, do you want to know why? It’s because you’re resting your elbows/arms on your legs to play on your phone or assist squatting. That’s cutting off blood flow. Roll up a towel and use as elbow rest. Or build a shitter desk. Or hurry up.
I found god tier chocolate; Cadbury Dairy Milk with Oreo. I’m in the UK right now btw. -OAmber
No one goes to England to find their favorite food has been upgraded. That’s ludicrous. It’s an offense to chocolate that youd leave anywhere on Earth, and find some better version of it in England. Going to England for food is like going to the car dealership for medical assistance.
What would be the worst way to get cheated on? Beej, anal, emotionally, vaginally?
Whatever she wouldnt let YOU do.
How do I erase memories? I’m having a terrible morning. -OffalTerrine
By making new ones. Thats why getting over a painful experience takes so much time. If youre in a time crunch, I recommend drugs.
Did anyone honestly even really like Hanna-Barbera cartoons? -IDeservedThat
Yes. Laff-O-Lympics was the absolute winner of life for me, as an 8 year old. The Great Grape Ape. JabberJaw. USA Cartoon Express. Giddyup. But, essentially, if you liked one show, you liked them all. They were all pretty much the same formulaic story lines and art styles. I can see how you wouldn’t dig them. Again, if you hated one, you hated them all.
If you live out of your car, what are you labeled as? Someone who lives out of their car (that’s paid off and the maximum worth is about 9K) but can’t afford to pay for an apartment? They’re financially fucked in a lot of ways but yet they aren’t homeless. What would most people label this person as? -packingMC92
A human. And I disagree with your contention that they are not homeless. Do they have a home? No? They’re homeless. Just because you are carfull doesnt mean you arent homeless.
I think it’s gross when people use their tablet/phone in the bathroom. -byeonyx
Then why do you leave your toothbrush in there?
Are you afraid of dying? -km_ultra
I’m afraid of pain. I’m afraid of death coming sooner than Id like. I don’t want it to come, but accept that it will. Death itself, though? I respect Death. Death plays an important role. It’s the ultimate in unconditional acceptance. It sucks for the living, but I’ve never heard anyone experienced complain about it.
Do you think retired porn stars masturbate to their own scenes? -Steev88
Probably? I doubt they are doing much masturbating at all, though. They have probably partnered up with a person (or people) who satisfy them, after the years of experiencing that kind of lifestyle. Maybe they watch porn while they do it. Maybe its their porn scenes? Maybe the porn star in question finds that tacky. Maybe they have a digital picture frame slideshowing their best Texas steer-horned reacharounds right next to pictures of their Mom on the fucking marble and gold mantlepiece. Porn seems to attract all personalities.
Having a daughter, huh? How will you handle her birth control situation? -CanadiAnne
I know, right? All my tongue-in-cheek hiding-behind-the-anonymity-of-the-internet misogyny comes back to haunt me. Luckily, her mother can handle most of that heavy lifting. I am a realist. Shes not getting married a virgin. Ive already accepted that before I rolled the dice of fatherhood. Ive resigned to her losing her virginity to some long-term high school boyfriend, as a victory of Fatherhood. Now that you mention it;
Hi, Honey. It better be at least 2019 before youre reading this. Daddy loves you, whatever happens. Don’t rip his heart out.
The Whimsical MetaCognitionist Chronicles 