The What’s What, Volume 84

Whats up with France owning the Muslims?  No burkas?  Shit is about to get real. -King_Of_Things

Oppressing oppression seems like hypocritical justice to me. I’m on the fence.

Ever eat Cream of Wheat? Best hot cereal ive ever had in my life. Add a little milk and a spoonfull of blueberry jam after its cooked -Wurrdz1

Not since they stopped making the Apples & Cinnamon green box version.   I can’t find it anywhere and it was the only kind I liked.

I main Archer on Fat Princess, you? -SooperToobes

I worker rock, timber, and machines until they’re set, and then it’s archer for me.   I like healing as a priest also, but that’s pretty much all I do.

My wife and I are wanting to “get into” wine. You know, so we can be pompous asses like Frasier Crane and sip wine all day long. Problem is there is a ton of it! So many different flavors, grape varieties, brands and on and on ad nauseam.
Any suggestions for first time drinkers? -IwontheInternet

I am currently into German wines, Riesling and Gewurztraminer.  I suggest going into a wine store, not necessarily a liquor store and simply talking to the sommalier if the have one, the good stores will. Or the owner or someone should ask you a couple simple questions like sweet/dry, red/white, food pairing, and price limit, and come up with a couple good suggestions.  I would also suggest researching tastings in your area.  That’s always a good start.  Good luck, enjoy.

I love watching vintage porn. I tend to watch it for the intricate plot and character development.  Just recently I watched one where a couple go out to a disco and it shows them afterward talking about how it went. He says something along the lines of, “I don’t know baby, I know other guys like that sorta of stuff but it just doesn’t really do it for me. Nothing compares to alone time with you.”  Then she’s like, “Well let’s do something about that. I think I can give you just what you want for your birthday” I’m thinking to myself, whoa whoa whoa since when is it this guy’s birthday? This is insane, I did NOT see this coming.  -Indubitably

LoL  What a twist. But, I agree. The plots are far more detailed and intricate with vintage porn.  My only complaint is the overuse of facial expressions during the actual act.   I don’t need proof that he’s enjoying his blowjob.

Why do people believe in aliens even though theres no physical proof of them? but not ghosts? -RedmanCoasting

We do have proof that all sorts of life can live on other planets because we have all sorts of life living on ours.  And with the proof of all this life and death on our planet, there is not proof of ghosts.   I think that’s a fair corollary to make.

So does Tiger Woods win the Lifetime Achievement award for Biggest Career Suicide Ever? -Travis-Tea

Maybe.  We’d have to see his career die first.  Who knows?  This might make him stronger.  In any event, I’d like to point out that Paul Reubens lost everything for masturbating to porn.   And don’t give me that “in public” jive.  You mean “in public” being an adult movie theatre?  Where theres a close-up of a 12 foot long penis being inserted into a gaping 3 foot wide vagina 20 feet from your face?  Who the FUCK is complaining about a penis in an adult movie theatre?

What’s the point of EBAY sniping? Just bid how much you’d be willing to pay and be done with it. I’m trying to get a certain game for a certain price. I’ve homed in on what I believe to be the lucky price.. that is, the price that it doesn’t go for very often, but that I’ll be able to get it at eventually.  The last seven in a row have gone exactly the same way. I have high bid until the last few minutes, and then some asshole puts in a last minute bid.  Just put in the god damned bid when you see the item, outbid me right away, and I can go on my way and bid on another item. This bidding/waiting/getting sniped/bidding on another auction is getting to me. -M0NoD_MD

So.  If I am following you correctly, you are claiming that you know how it works, can see it coming a mile away, choose not to use the strategy to your own means, and get pissed when the inevitable happens?  WELCOME TO HOW EBAY WORKS.

The What’s What, Volume 64

Your issues with the movie Watchmen would be best served by reading the graphic novel.  It was a movie for people who were fans, if you don’t like it, get the fuck out. -JoystickJesus

It’s the same thing with Harry Potter.  Movies are not 2 1/2 hour book commercials.  Movies should be able to stand alone.  If a normal person buys a ticket, pays attention, and leaves the theatre confused on any key point, then the movie has done a disservice to the paying customer.

I noticed you’ve been playing a lot of Fat Princess. What exactly is it?  Is it fun?  There’s no demo. -SeminoldTimer

It’s capture the flag only the flag is a princess that your make more difficult to carry by feeding her cake. Plus there is wizards, priests, warriors, rangers and worker classes to choose from at any point you wish during the game.  Hell yes it’s fun, a mix of button mashing mayhem and strategy.  (Anyone reading this with a PS3, please feel free to send a friend request to MetaCognitionist)

Do you think Bob Saget is funny? I think people only think hes funny because he used to be Mr Tanner and now hes saying bad words.  -MysticalOfficer

Saying shocking things does not necessarily make them funny.  His stand-up is worthless, but his acting is funny. He’s only funny when others write the funny for him.

Is Socom Confrontation the biggest failure of this generation? I mean seriously. Horrible at launch, released with only 8 maps, And still no MAP PACK, COD WAW has 3.   Still waiting for a patch to fix the famas and the clan ladders ,  Not even gonna talk about the inability to shoot out of windows and over rails…. and yet, with all this i played the game like hell for about 4 months, i just recently said fuck it i put it away.   Slant six fails so hard. -LegolassMan

SOCOM is pretty fail. Complete lack of single player or tutorial completely removes the fun for any rookies who haven’t played it.   Plus the installation and load times are shockingly ridiculous.   It’s the only game I have regretted purchasing this generation that’s for sure.

If Jesus had died 20 years ago, Christians would be wearing electric chairs instead of crucifixes. -Sharkaroo

Interesting point. I’m not sure he broke any of today’s laws, though.  Plus we would have visual record of him committing miracles.  I agree that someones method of death is a bad symbol for their lives, if that is your point, but I’m not sure it translates to today’s time.

Wait.. RadioShack is going to be called just “The Shack” now? Bad move.-GermanApologist

Really? You don’t think that the term “Radio” harbors a little bit of credibility issues for a cutting edge electronics store?

Imagine being the children of a porn star???-InfinityZero

I can’t decide what’s worse.  Being a teenage boy and completely mortified to look at porn in case you accidentally see your Mom catching a mouthful from 12 dudes in public.  Or having to deal with your friends that have.  Poor bastards.

Should cops be respected more than the average citizen?-Superdickery

Everyone deserves only the respect they earn. This goes for cops, strangers, your parents, everyone.

Do you usually laugh at your own jokes?  -ManJuiceLunatic

It’s okay to do so if you are being witty and making immediate jokes based on a situation that just happened.  If you write jokes for a living, argue over the proper wording in the writers room, and then laugh while telling them hours later, you are a failure. See Bill Maher, and Jimmy Fallon.

What are your impressions on the Batman: Arkham Asylum demo?-CockoldFart

Fun to play and looks nice. I particularly like the way the game visuals transform into comic book illustrations when you pause the game.  But yeah, there doesn’t seem to be much in the way of replayability, but I’m at least renting the game, for sure.

Oh Boo-fucking-hoo.  Cry about your  ex-girlfriend some more. Way to hold a grudge. –jasonnasojjason

I was asked a question.  I wanted to be clear that her having sex with someone else wasn’t really the problem.  It was that her attitude changed towards me,  she realized this and used me  instead of dumping me.   I’m certainly not holding a grudge against her.  I swear to God, it took me three days to remember her last name, and I’m still not convinced I remember it correctly.  Just because I know from previous experiences that I don’t like the kind of person she is, and we would not get along, doesn’t mean I’m holding a grudge.  It means I let history influence decisions.  I didn’t mean to come off sounding still wounded or anything.  Other people suck too, I’m not losing any sleep over them, either.

you do realize that religion only exists because it’s a trillion dollar industry, right?  -Soggypillow

Just like any other business, most money goes into advertising which never tells the truth.  They should run with something like “Catholocism: Subsidizing teenage nut juggling for over 1500 years.”

Do you think you could take a dump on a chick’s face if she asked you to? I was thinking I could, but not if I liked her and she knew any of my friends though. -DrayDizzle

Wait. Your crapping on a girls face and your worried about what your friends would think ABOUT YOU if she told them? Like you would be the one to be embarrassed in that situation?   “Oh yeah? Well, I’m gonna tell all your friends that you shit on my face! That’ll show you!”

Pepsi & Mountain Dew Throwback will return!! On facebook & twitter Pepsi announced the throwbacks will be making a comeback December 28-February 22.-DataLovesJordi

I loved them both, and will support their return with purchases.  If you are a perceptive reader, thanks for the heads up.  If you are a corporate shill googling where your products are mentioned and sending me a mail to pimp your shit, then fuck yourself with a Coke bottle.

How did your meteor shower night golf event thing go? -Crow754

Great, thanks for asking.  I lost but played well and the weather cooperated.  The group confirmed 8 meteors in 3+ hours.  The only bad thing were the mosquitoes.  It sucks being the only food source available for these bastards within the mile.

Wow, Youkilis really made himself look like a fool… Porcello looks smaller than him too. -CaptDrawers

They both looked foolish.  Porcello backing away with his hands raised leading Youkilis to Porcellos defenders is a bitch move.  But so is throwing your helmet and getting your momentum shifted by someone 40 pounds lighter than you.  It wasn’t a good thing for either of them.

Is Mad Men a good show? I’m interested in the new season, but I’ve never seen it.  -Illegalsubstance

Its in my top 5 right now.  You might want to Netflix the first couple of seasons. Not because the stories are so complex, Im sure you could piece it together. Its mostly awesome because of the sets, acting and the authenticity feel of the writing. I haven’t seen the new season so I’m not sure how much info you would need to follow along.

Have you ever used pages of the Bible or record sheaths as joint paper?-LifeofStrife

Yes. In a hotel while travelling cross country. We used Genesis because we figure everyone already knew that story.