The What’s What, Volume 157

Is ordering a burrito bowl the gayest thing ever? I love women… that’s the point, it’s a woman’s order, not a man’s. I will give any man ordering a “bowl” shit. I expect women to do it lol, it was invented for them. -JohnMcClane

If you enjoy stuffing a warm thick dense skin-like object with a fold at the top like a foreskin into your mouth, you can knock yourself out all day. But you’re going to sound like an idiot arguing that eating a burrito is somehow more manly than a bowl of food with a fucking fork, which you can use to kill assailants at any time during the meal. Your contention is wholly fucking ludicrous, and I wont stand for it.

Star Wars trailer? Star Wars trailer. -FlagstaffMerc

The Millennium Falcon sucks. There, I fucking said it.

Lukes XWing single-handedly blows up the Death Star, its still some random nameless X-Wing. There’s countless models of YT-1300s floating about the galaxy, but you are getting excited when you see a 1992 Honda Civic because the admittedly proud liar who drives the thing says its awesome. And we fucking eat it up like winter oatmeal. We let our panties melt by the big-talking sailor with a cute face and a leather vest.

Oh, it broke some important time on some training run like decades ago between movies, says the admitted criminal? Im sure that happened. Especially since every time we see the bolt and nutload on screen, it’s breaking down or under performing until JUST the right moment, and were supposed to somehow believe it makes another 30 years without being heaped? It was barely a functioning junk heap at the time and there is absolutely no reason for it existence in a sequel taking place decades later.

Rate Buffalo Wild Wings / 10 Just brought some home. Got boneless jalapeno seasoning and regular buffalo seasoning. Having it with beer. 8.5/10 pretty damn good -ignoramasaurus

Sorry, I just can’t. The sauces are fine. Fatty and salty, but so are all sauces. The chicken is processed or barded. It doesn’t need to be. They could have a real wholesome chicken joint if they wanted to. But they’d rather make a few more pennies selling filler and synthetic fats with microwaves. Which Im not even against in occasional moderation. But there are better flavours Im willing to trade in for minutes of life, and these dont cut it for me. No thanks. But you have fun. 3/10

I dont think your as intelligent as you think you are. -zer00

I dont think Im all that smart. I may just have a different way of seeing things than the majority of people. It’s not always right, I get that. But YOURE essentially Stevie Wonder calling Ray Charles an asshole because he’s black, blind and has a successful piano career. That doesnt seem that bright, either.

So Far Cry’s driving controls could be worst ever. Loving the game so far, gorgeous and fun. Hard to believe it came from the same developer as AC Unity. That being said, if it wasn’t for autodrive, I would never drive in the game. -pswii60

I dont mind the Far Cry driving. It makes for shooting people easier than using 3 trigger buttons at the same time or whatever. Just the brakes are a problem. I dont have issues steering or getting around. Its kind of refreshing, larfy and fun. Fast Travel and running always good, too.

My girlfriend claims she hasnt farted in three years, we’ve been dating for two. Thats a normal body function. How can this be? Is that possible or is she a liar? -TerminalRage

I recently barfed for the first time since May 10th, 2009. Yes, I know the exact date and time thanks to Google Calendar. But, THATS a normal body function. Maybe she just stifles farts until shes sleeping. If you hold it in, does a fart really still exist? Does she burp a lot? I only have more questions, because I am not a gastro-enterologist. I wouldnt let it get to you. At worst, shes lying about a small embarrassment.

I really hope after Craig is gone that Bond goes back to being more tongue in cheek. But it won’t happen -BeLump

That shit was super campy for me, even before Austin Powers. I prefer the way it is now. I suppose Id make my own changes, but I absolutely enjoy the recent trend towards fictional documentaries like Damons Bourne and Craigs Bond. I dont mind the occasional wisecrack, but I see comedies for laughs. I go to movie theatres so the big kabooms can fuck my eyeballs for me.

Worst Christmas trend this year? -CanadiAnne

Maybe just more common for me this year were people who spend the first 24 days of December preaching about keeping the Christ in Christmas, but then posting photos of presents and wrapping paper everywhere on the actual day. I didnt see one picture of a prayer gathering or church service. I dont think they even got the contradiction. Itll be around next year, too.

So they’re going to merge Men in Black with 21 Jumpstreet. Sounds ridiculous, but also funny. -OAmber

Is Men In Black really that popular, still? Cant we have the guy who wrote “The Other Guys” write another buddy cop movie for Hill and Tatum or something? Put them in SuperTroopers 2, I dont care. These guys are funny and all, but I dont need more CGI celebrity aliens. I think weve all outgrown that, as a culture.

If you do heroin one time, will it mess you up forever? -codcmndr

It depends. Will doing it once change your mind on just doing it once?

The What’s What, Volume 79

What’s the most common cause of negativity in your life?  A person?  An event?  Work?  -goodlucky7

Hands down, when my basement floods.  It’s just so disappointing to know that your next twelve hours will be spent in some shorts, making sure the electronics are off the ground, canceling any plans I might have had and sweating my ass off lifting 20 gallon tubs for the indefinite future.   I assure you, it’s the momentum equivalent of getting fisted by the Incredible Hulk when he just finished shopping for habanero peppers.

I give up. Internet Explorer I tried, I really did but I just can’t put up with you any longer. I’m moving on, downloading Firefox as we speak but before I add my my bookmarks should I investigate Opera or Chrome? -tradingfaces

You give up, now? You’re the WWII equivalent of the Japanese guys all bunkered into some dormant volcano who thought they were avoiding the Allies for 30 years and got smacked in the face with Disco when they were uncovered.  Any of those three, just not IE.  100%  Welcome back. The Red Sox won the pennant 5 years ago, and Arnold Swarzenegger is a Governor. Don’t hurt yourself.

Who is your favorite Celebrity (of all time) to share your first name? -Develabmentor

Ever since that episode of Extras, Patrick Stewart.

Why Couldn’t Seinfield get an REAL reunion?  Is it because the show hasn’t really held up over time?  I mean the one on curb was ok but it was more like a behind the scenes stuff and not a real episode, I would have liked to seen a real one on NBC like 30 minuets or an hour.

Saying that Seinfeld has not stood the test of time is incorrect.   Seinfeld has been the 2nd most syndicated show in history, right behind the Simpsons. Affiliates would not be airing the show if it did not resonate with viewers today. It pretty much swallowed up Cheers in terms of syndication. So, that’s ridiculous.

Also, Seinfeld did get a REAL reunion on CYE. I’m not sure if you had noticed, but with the read-throughs and rehearsals, you got an entire episode of Seinfeld in. For me, it was like watching a new episode of Seinfeld, and if it’s the way they wanted to do it, it worked fine for me, and it’s better than nothing.

Can you dance?  I find it awkward.  No matter how skilled a dancer is I still can’t help to think from time to time that dancing is odd. -ArchieBunkerDown

Dancing is retarded. Its about the most primitive thing a human being can do thats considered socially acceptable these days.  But,  it’s fine if you want to, just keep it down for everyone else who would rather use their minds to have stimulating conversation with someone else and not spaz around some maple tile to Kool & The Gang for the thousandth time.

So there’s a Tila Tequila blowjob video going around. If you’ve got an ET fetish, heres your chance. -Czechlist

Giving or recieving?

I’m Netflixing a new series.  Deadwood or Mad Men?  You’ve been boosting both series.  Which one first? -phkb33

You’re talking about two of my favorites, right nyah.   Deadwood has boobies and an insane amount of swearing. So, that’s a big plus. The dialogue can be a little confusing, but its not too distracting.  Mad Men has nostalgia, and epic writing, but it can get a little soap opery sometimes.   You can’t go wrong with either one. Mad Men is a little more light-hearted, and Deadwood is a little more gritty.   I’d go with whichever you have the mood for. Mostly light-hearted fun and heavy drama, or handfuls of “Holy Shit!”

I really hate the shirts they made for the Yankees when they won the World Series. Did MLB really have to mention on the shirt that they won it 27 times? If the Phillies won, I highly doubt they’d say “3 Time World Series Champions” on the shirts. -2JeterisGod2

So, this is what you get to complain about after your team has won that many championships.   I always wondered.

This Christmas, I have declared JIHAD on high prices!!! Join me brothers!!! JIHAD!!! Join me my brothers as we rain savings upon the nonbelievers this Christmas holiday!! Clip coupons, scour the internet and hit the infidels where it hurts, in their wallets!!! -MoneyJack

Allahu Bargains!

Any non Christian who celebrates christmas is a poser. -Nickelwise

Jesus’ birth is decided by lots of theological scholars as being late spring, early summer. So, saying you celebrate your birthday 5 months early is hardly an accurate celebration of your BIRTH DAY.
Decorating trees and your house with lights is just to bring some light to the shortest days of the year, the winter solstice.

Or you can quote some scripture from the Bible and prove that it’s all Christian based.  If it was really a birthday ceremony for Jesus, we’d all be wearing bathrobes to the petting zoo instead of participating in dozens of documented Pagan traditions; like presents, mistletoe, christmas trees, and lights.