Is it weird to wear white khakis? I thought I looked good with them but now I feel self conscious. -BaruchCollege
Not between Memorial Day and Labour Day, they say. If you wear white pants, you better have on a seriously winner shirt. I bet you looked good.
My problem with liberals is that they have no respect for religious freedom. They claim to be tolerant but if you disagree with them because of faith they call you names. -ChaoticGood1
Its because they are using logic and reason. Disagreeing because of your faith is not a legitimate basis. You dont get to build an argument off of faith because it just a belief. Thats its whole reason for existance. Faith is believing in something with no evidence. You arent disagreeing. Youre espousing your beliefs. Youre elevating something without evidence against something with evidence. Apples and Oranges.
Does anyone actually still think Kylo Ren’s lightsaber looks dumb? -Balsamwoodman
I just cant get over the fact that theyve turned something designed to protect the weapon-holder into a weapon thats available to injure the weapon-holder. Its like putting a giant spike pointing down into your helmet because it looks cool. Ill give you that it LOOKS cool. But seriously….. the fuck?
Why do Star Wars fans hate midichlorians? -CruiseController
Because it turned the Force, one of the most beloved fictional powers ever envisioned, from a spiritual goal to a hereditary monarchy. It went from something almost anyone could obtain through difficult trials to even begin considering mastering to a blood test done with a fucking pocket thermometer.
I wonder if Bruce Jener is using this whole sex change thing to get out of a manslaughter charge. -ebevan19
“Oh, Im sorry, you’re looking for Bruce. Im Caitlyn. Bruce isnt here. Havent seen him in a couple months.”
Jimmy Carter? -CanadiAnne
Hes the sweetest most deliberately caring and most emotionally generous president weve ever had. People look down on him for this. I find that sad.
Why does it hurt so much? “Because it was real” Holy hell was this movie (Hobbit 3) bad. Can’t forget the scene where Legolas is jumping the stones while falling 
At least the girl elf was hot doe. -SizzleNinja
Is that the one where surfed down a battle elephant while killing it? Because thats when I checked out of the series, for good.
I have $120 in cash in my wallet. What should I do with it? -wwefan07
Hang on to it until something comes up and you’re like, “Damn, I wish I had $120.”
Give me a way to curb American obesity. -Itab
Sure, Ill do your homework for you. Limit usage of escalators and elevators to people under 200 pounds only.
A fan in Atlanta has died from injuries sustained falling from upper deck at Braves game. -Blue.Jay.Link
Another victim of A-Rods general encompassing awfulness.
My little sister is in the hospital after being beat up . Be wary who you meet on online dating. -YoungXBeast
Yes, because shell never be hurt dating a guy she met in a bar.
Post your Superbowl 50 prediction. -cubby21
Packers d Chiefs in a Super Bowl 1 rematch.
Where has Bill been during Hillary’s whole campaign? -CornWallaceJackson
Theres a reason they save the headliner for late in a show. Hillary is Zendaya featuring The Big Sheed and Bill is a double billing of Kanye and Taylor Swift.
I just smoked an acai bowl and can’t tell if it’s doing shit. How long does it usually take to kick in? -fishfulwinking
I can tell you right now that its not doing shit or else wed all know about it. The acai berry has been around for hundreds of years in South America. If that shit fucked you up, that shit would be processed, concentrated and being snorted up the noses of stock brokers and restaurant workers since the 70s.
How do you live being circumcised? I just wince/cringe at that thought of getting your tip snipped tf off as a baby who can’t give consent and having to pretend like everything’s alright for the rest of your life. -MegaGameCube93
If I hear one more circumcised guy complain that sex doesnt have feeling or one woman complain that she wishes her boyfriend has a skin leg-warmer on his dick, I will surely make note of that as the first people to ever complain about these things.
Girls pierce their ears for men. If your tonsils or appendix was outside of your body, theyd remove that too when you were a baby. Sorry you have to clean cheese and see the subtle twinge of disappointment in a womans face when she sees your dick for the first time. She wouldnt rather you have a skin fish hook turning her lady parts inside-out for her, she wants you wearing a thin rubber scrunchy, jamming up the works.
‘What lion?’ Zimbabweans ask, amid global Cecil circus in that it does not seem to bother those who live there. -GraniteWhiteKnight
Who cares about the people of Zimbabwe? This was never about them. Maybe if one of them gets lured out of his hut with a Firehouse Subs Kings Hawaiin Pork n Slaw, and gets shot in the back with a bow and arrow by Dr Kirk Weatherwood, Dermatologist to the social elite of Fresno, California, then maybe they have a claim. Until that happens, keep blowing your vuvuzelas and shut the fuck up.
I can’t respect a man who isn’t willing to fight for his. If you can’t stand up for yourself you just wasting them testicles. Might as well donate em to some butch chick who’ll actually use em. -c0mp3t3t1v3g4m3r
I mean, what are we fightiing over? If its a woman, and she wants you, then shes your problem now and an upgrade will be around that corner shortly. I aint even mad. If its my fucking breakfast, then you best not press lest you brought a vest for your chest.
I just had to pick up all the cigarette butts in the parking lot. Parking lot of the waterpark- 28 I counted. I then smoked the ones that had a few hits left behind the equipment shed. -evpacks2
Doing your job is one thing. Lip fucking a bunch of strangers for fractional secondary nicotine is a whole different level of sadness.
Hot dog on a stick is my favorite mall food. That lemonade and fries. Whats your go to? -BTrain12
Im going to assume Im limited to the Food Court and say Bourbon Chicken, Dubble Noodle, please.
WTF have they done to Mafia III? -Solefool
I’ll tell you exactly what theyve done. They super glued a Pam Grier to the three guys from GTA V and didnt think anyone would notice. Thats what they did. And its a pretty weak move.
I cant tell if HBO getting Sesame Street is awesome or the end of my childhood. -Kevlar101
Hopefully, this opens the door for reboots of some of my favorite disappeared muppets like the Fraggles, Doozers, and Emmit Otter.
What if every time you had sex you traveled to the future? – BellOfRoos
It does. I get about theee minutes older, every time.
The Whimsical MetaCognitionist Chronicles 