The What’s What, Volume 1o3

My sister is friends with the girl who plays Ginny Weasley in Harry Potter.  Bonnie Wright. She met her at a dinner party for an acquaintance they both knew. She’s nice, but IMO, too nice to tap.  -wariO’s

Yeah, she wouldn’t have stood a chance at those charms of yours. It’s a good thing you respect the kindness of someone you’ve never met enough to not make her want to have sex with you.  Is your sister friends with her, or did she just meet her at a dinner party for an acquaintance they both knew? Because there’s a pretty big difference.  It  sounds like your sister told you that she didn’t make an ass of herself in front of a famous person, like she would have seen the conversation as anything else but her impressing a celebrity.  Do you have even the SLIGHTEST idea of how many people attempt to be friends with a famous person on any given day?

Ian Huntley, who murdered two girls eight years ago, is sueing the prison service for £100,000 after he got slashed in the throat by another prisoner. Do you think this is right? The guy is in jail, what is he going to do with a hundred grand? -Ham-Tam

Well, his family could probably use the money. I don’t believe prisons get the right to be ThunderDome.  I’m not going to lose any sleep if he doesn’t win his case.

so this guys owes me a few grand… this morning he drops by with a “deal“.  He wants to give me two “houses” instead of paying me back. This guy owns a butt load of trailer houses and is trying to give me two of them. There are currently people living in them and paying $450 a month. He claims they have lived there for a long while and never missed a payment. on one side it would be steady income.. but do I want to get into property with this economy? Sure they are trailers but to be honest I have seen much worse…  -rawksawlid1

I don’t like the deal.  He might know things about the property that you don’t.  You might have to invest in fixing it, back taxes, or the people might be moving out.  Who knows the arrangements he has with these people?  Tell him you would feel more comfortable if he used the rental property income to pay you back. Draft up a payment schedule with prime rate interest to be nice. Get a notary. Wipe hands of this guy.

Breaking Bad VS Dexter VS Lost – MisterSerious

Dexter isn’t as good as everyone thinks it is. Lots of questionable dialogue and the drama is even a little too much. Lost is a joke.  Breaking Bad by ten lengths.

Can people on “Lets Make A Deal” actually TAKE the zonk if they get it?  Sometimes they look really cool… I wouldn’t mind taking a motorcycle with triangular wheels… -Corks

Once I saw a guy win a pineapple cart or something, and he took like 5 pineapples back to his seat.  I bet he got out of there with them.

how do you start smoking when you know it’s bad for you..? to look cool, huh? enjoy your cancer, loser -Adsimbenefits

Why eat butter when you know it’s bad for you?  Why do you spend all day in the sun when you know its bad for you?  Why do you play sports, when you know all the health risks associated?  Why do you get a puppy companion when you know you’ll have to bury him someday?  Why do non-smokers think they are avoiding death by whining about it?

Of all the religions in the world, only 1 has it right.  The Amish. You have NEVER heard of radical Amish terrorists, have you? Nope. The world would be a better place if everyone was Amish. This is indisputable.  -MGSisLife

I refuse to argue.  Wonderful peoples.  One of the greatest restaurants I have ever been in my life was an Amish restaurant.  Everything from scratch, big giant plates of three kinds of meat served family style with like 12 different sides and every fresh vegetable you could think of. And the desserts, Jesus, the desserts. Pies from scratch still hot from the oven. Fresh ice cream. Was like $9 for me to eat everything I wanted.

Did you see Inception?   -MoeMunney66

I did, and I was a little distracted by something.  Cillian Murphy wears a burlap sack on his head in all 3 of Nolans epic movies, Batman Begins – He’s Scarecrow, kind of his thing.  Dark Knight – Batman de-burlap sacks him during the robbery attempt in the beginning.  Inception – As a kidnapped energy concern mogul, he’s wearing a burlap sack in the back of the white van for a healthy percentage of the movie.  After I noticed this, I spent the rest of the movie analyzing this fact, and I think its obvious the conclusion we can come out with. Apparently, Cillian Murphy has the ability to make some sort of magical supernoise of which he needs to contort his face in awkward ways to make, but the result of this supernoise convinces you that what you are doing is awesome and you need to tell your friends and implants a yearning for it to continue. I am currently running tests to determine if burlap has some sort of amplification properties science might not be aware of.

I understand your mind is blown here. Please, try to settle down. Let’s not let the media know until I’ve concluded with my experiments and can get a concrete case here. But, since the the blog is about to get a lot more popular, I’ll need to deputize some people to handle press events. Thanks for your patience and effort, readers. We’ve finally done it.

What do you think about that Fox News guy buying  gay bar next to the “Ground Zero Mosque”? –DUN-FIP

A conservative owning a gay bar out spite hardly sounds like the greatest business model.  But, it sure is confusing the hell out of both conservatives and liberals, so that’s kind of funny.

Chocolate Milk in Cereal, Yay or Nay -IllyMays

I did it once with regular rice crispies because I didn’t have any sugar.  It was great. Ill vote Yay, but only for some cereals.

You’re a gamer/nerd.  Interested in Scott Pilgrim? -pepsiizawsum

I’m also 33.   So, no.  I’ll wait the 16 months and turn the channel to something else 12 minutes into it when its free on HBO.

The What’s What, Volume 99

The Mario Marathon was awesome, good choice on your first link ever. -Nights-In-Malta

Woah.  Shit got real at the end of the Mario Marathon there.  What happened? Did they really let trolls cancel it?  -MetzylAtzi

No, but thanks for bringing it up.  It’s been a few days and I still can’t believe what happened there.  To those unaware of the situation, let me preface by saying that I am about to shit on a charity fundraiser.  At the end of my observations, I’m going to prove it all doesn’t matter, but for just a moment, let’s pretend like it does.  I’d also like to add that I feel confident in bringing it up, because of the overwhelming support I received from people involved in the event.  To avoid possible strained friendships, I’ll  say I got AT LEAST one message of “You are saying what everyone in the room is thinking, but can’t say.”

The Mario Marathon had distinguishable defined rules that “unlocked” levels that had to be played after a certain specific donation level was reached.  Throughout the marathon, people would ask how long the marathon lasted and were consistently told “There is no time limit.  We play until the last level has caught up to the donation limit, and then we turn off the Nintendo.  People can still donate, but we’re done playing.”   However,  that’s not what happened.  It turns out the wife of the guy hosting the event wanted her house back, after they raised too much money and would have to spend another night in her living room playing video games.  They even made jokes about it.  Their official excuse for ending the marathon early was “My wife got a new job six months ago, and we didn’t know the situation.”  Everyone in the chat knew all about her job, because she left for it every morning while the guys sacrificed time, effort, and sleep for charity.

“Woah, hey, MetaCog.  C’mon, lets give them a break.  The guys raised $82,000 for charity, and did a lot of good.”, you might say, accurately.  Which might force me to wonder how much money could have been raised with a legitimate, credible ending to the event.  You also might say, “Give the wife a break, it’s not like she was selling off memorabilia for financial gain while everyone was coming to an emotional grip with the end of an event that brought so many people happiness.”  You could say that, if that wasn’t EXACTLY WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED.  Would you believe, that seconds after her husband had finished a tearful speech ripped from his yearbook about how far they’ve come, and new friends they’ve made, and how this will be the last marathon; the wet blanket took the opportunity to offer the Mario-themed decorations on sale to the chat room?  Would you believe that?   Did I forget to mention the part where she said “All proceeds go to Childs Play?”   It’s because she didn’t.

I’m in an, apparently rare, considerate, supporting marriage.  I could not begin to imagine my reaction if my wife publicly castrated me in front of an audience of thousands of people building a provident image of me over three years through sacrifice and effort for the benefit of sick children.  Luckily, my wife wouldn’t allow that to happen.  I loved the event, and those guys are heroes to me.  They could have easily called the event “100 hours of Mario” if they had worries.  They probably shouldn’t have been estimating an end time, publicly, while simultaneously raising the hopes of everyone else to exceed their estimations.  It just brought an unfortunate ending to a magical three years of concurrent fun and pride.

I wish the guys long friendships of happy memories of the event.  And as promised, to prove that it all doesn’t matter what I think,  I leave the last word to a faithful reader who’s observations are all that does matter:

Thanks for advertising to Mario Marathon 3.  My little sister was in the hospital and we were allowed use of a game kart to keep her mind off treatment.  Not only was it the bearer off many of the last few smiles of her life, but it allowed us to keep some amazing memories of her, sides of her we had not or ever would have seen.  I’m not sure if Childs Play was involved with my situation, but I am happy to invest in other peoples similar circumstances. -PelleCee33

-=*=-

How do you feel about 3d being pushed into the market so suddenly? -hottubmimemachine

Seems like a money grab. Some rehashed gimmick from the 50s to make money.  Oh, and for it to work right, you need to buy a new TV AND STILL use clunky glasses?  I remember being impressed with a 3D Super Bowl ad a couple years ago, worked on my TV and everything.  I’m not investing.

If you don’t die next week, congreats on Volume 100.  Plans for a big to-do? -NinjaFlapper

Thanks for noticing. Nope.  No big plans.  Going to use the letter “o” in place of zeroes “0”.  Try and notice the difference.  It’s quite the milestone, I’ve always wanted a counter on my boredom and image of self-importance.

I’m selling my 360 with a 20gb HD, 2 wireless controllers, the charger kit, and 2 games.   All this for $200 dollars. Well actually I’m buying all this from a friend for $150 and then turning it around and selling it for $200.  That’s a fair deal, yeah? -DragonSlayah

Not for your “so called” friend.  Does your friend know you are reselling it? If not, you’re an asshole. If so, you’re a charity case. Congrats.

What is the greatest national anthem of all time?  -taekwondokid

USSR>Canada>USA>Everyone else

E3 reactions? -WalrusAmI

Nintendo won, hands down.  How they hell they have gotten me to anticipate a Kirby game is beyond my current understanding.  The 3DS looks interesting.  More importantly, it comes with a new Animal Crossing game.  I’ll have to get one in my hands for a final answer.  Sony and Microsoft paid far too much attention to the movement controller future.  I just feel like anyone who likes that stuff already has the Wii.  At least Sony had actual demos.  Microsoft showed gameplay recordings with actors miming, very underhanded by them. Leads me to believe that Kinect/Natal is having workability issues.   Sony had a better showing of games.  Microsoft really failed the event for me.

Fuck 1. Marry 1. Kill 1. Breaking Bad Edition: Jane (Jesses dead girlfriend), Skylar (Walts Wife), Marie (Hanks Wife) GO!-WaltWhiteshat

I’d fuck Jessie’s dead girlfriend, well, when she was alive.   Marry Hanks wife. She seems very caring, pleasant, and not embarrassingly self-righteous. Handy in the hospital? You marry that. Kill Skylar. What a bitch. All she does is complain and get involved where shes not invited.

The What’s What, Volume 96

The “Imperfect Game”.  Discuss. – KrazyIvan82

If Bud overturns last nights major fuck up, then I want him to go back to September 7th 1984 and over turn the official scorer who gave a base hit to a cubs hitter when Ray Knight bobbled the ball at 3rd base and was unable to get off a throw. That is an error. Dwight Gooden should have a no hitter.  I also want him to go back to 2008 when Marlon Anderson was called out for illegal contact on a slide against the Phillies that would have resulted in the winning run being scored. So at the least the Mets and Phillies would have been tied at the end of that season and they should have gone to a 1 game playoff.  YOU CAN NOT OVER RULE THE CALL ON THE FIELD UNLESS YOU ARE PREPARED TO RIGHT ALL THE WRONGS THAT HAVE HAPPENED IN BASEBALL OVER THE LAST 120 YEARS.  -VendingLights

No you cannot. The technology wasn’t there to fix it. And those situations you described are totally different.  One would have changed the celebrations of millions of fans.  Can’t do that.   And the other is a judgment call by a  scorer.  I’m sorry bad calls happened to your favorite team, they happened to everyone’s favorite team over the years equally.  But let’s not let past mistakes validate present ones.

You CAN fix the “imperfect game”.  While people benefited from those other calls you mentioned, absolutely NO ONE benefits from the tragedy. It’s a complete disaster for every single person involved.  There is indisputable evidence and admissions and apologies from the Umpire, Jim Joyce. This is the perfect place for Bud Selig to fix it and won’t. 100% of people who saw the play concede/believe its a perfect game. The only thing that says otherwise is the box score.  Shame on him and anyone else lauding “human factor” as traditionalism. You are advocating that incorrect history be written instead of admitting you were wrong.

So whats the going rate for male adult actors in bukkake porn? -igetbet

Seriously? I wager a free blow job from a hot girl whos expectedly good at it and assurances to keep your face out of the video is the only compensation a lot of the guys get.

Saul is the best character in Breaking Bad no doubt.  Dude’s a real bro I love it -skeetskeetsk33t

Why was the last episode of Breaking Bad basically 53 mintues devoted to a fly? -malpractcevctm

Saul might be the greatest character on TV right now.  It always pisses me off when people don’t listen to him.  And, the fly episode was okay. I see what they are going for, but it seemed a little long and forced. I think the writers could have saved the twenty minute monologues from Jesse about a possum, I mean “an opossum”, and Walt trying to figure out what time was best that he died. Those really dragged on.

Some shows are good at the random episode direction and theme, like House. They do the best job ever, and sometimes it’s still a little clunky. I just wish 2 or 3 good seasons didn’t give the writers the right to change whats been working for them, under the guise of art.  It’s like they don’t do “special episodes” where a character gets hooked on drugs for an episode anymore, and clip shows are lazy, but they still have to “mix it up” for some reason, so they have to be pretentious about it, and go with arty, to validate their schooling or something.

Did you watch the LOST finale?  You must have something to say. -CanadiAnne

I did.  People have been talking about how the writers had to sew up all these crazy loose ends for 4 years, and I decided I’d be able to tell how happy fans were by how ridiculous and pretentious the ending was.  And it seemed to me like fans would not be happy.  It was kind of a creative cop-out.  Apparently, the writers had the first fantastic season written and concluded, and when it got popular, they had to scramble to extend it.   See Prison Break, Heroes, etc…. Sometimes they do it right and reserve the ending, other times they take liberties to keep curiosity peaked and have set the story too far out to write their way out of it, a la Lost. The writers left holes in the plot because they needed to keep curiosity peaked throughout the years and weren’t good enough writers to figure out something sensible.

People who claim to understand some deeper profound ending like they are smarter than everyone else and are touting this failure as genius are those who love and championed the shows to others so loudly that they can’t give the appearance of being let down. Here’s a litmus test. If you ask a writer what a vague ending he wrote meant and he says, “What do YOU think it meant?” That’s pretty much the best sign that the work is a massive failure.

Most people who vote democrat are suckers just saying if you vote dems for reasons other than being black and not rich and not giving money (which will in turn bone the population as a whole at least a little bit but does not keep money in your pocket)… you are either a biggot or a retarded sucker just saying. -nutsh0t

And in turn the Republicans are masters of getting poor uneducated retards to give their money to corporations, so the CFO’s daughter can get heated seats in her 16th birthday Bugatti.  Thank God poor people love God and hate gays so much.  The real failure here?  Is that you don’t understand that your vote is only choosing who gets to screw you, like your opinion makes a difference.  Vote 3rd party.

dude.  wtf is up with bitches laughing over Paul Gray, slipknot bassist’s death? you’re a stupid fuck if you show no sympathy for someone dying just because you didn’t like the band. -MezzDupp

Human nature dictates you celebrate the stoppage of things you dislike, no matter how unfortunate the reason, nor how much you disagree with it.  He didn’t know your name.  Try not to get so worked up over it.

What exactly is American Culture?  Racism, obesity, gullibility?  -OptimalShag

Well, other countries consider American movies and music to be the greatest export the Earth has to offer.  So, you kind of sound bitter for not recognizing such an obvious concept.

Great job pepsi, giving 25,000 to a 12 year old. For the idea of “Putting a sheet of plexiglas in front of buses to increase aerodynamics to save gas”What a worthy cause! So genius! And what a great use of 25,000 dollars! -BladerX

I’ve also seen this.  The “Green Screen”, right?   What a bad idea. No one wants anything even remotely obscuring a SCHOOL BUS DRIVER. The Pepsi-blue school bus they enlisted for the event DIDN’T EVEN HAVE ONE. The whole thing is a fucking sham.  School buses don’t even go high speeds for long periods of time, everything is stop and go on residential roads.  Complete failure.   If that’s among the best they had offered, Pepsi should have scrapped the campaign and donated the money to putting solar panels on a school or something.  What a disaster.

The What’s What, Volume 83

If you order pizza in a snow storm and don’t tip more than usual, you’re a bad person. -MaxRushmore

I completely agree. I give much more in crappy weather, because it would be more of a hassle to get it myself than normal.

Better show: Weeds or Breaking Bad? Forget the fact that Weeds has a MILF as the main character. Which show is better? -RobinStoddard

I have only seen Weeds, so I can’t make an accurate comparison.  But Breaking Bad is basic cable right? When in doubt as a tiebreaker, I go with the cussing, violence and boobies.  Just for realism sake.  But that’s just me.

What did you do for New Years Eve? -LostinMasturbation

I did the adult New Years.  Fancy dinner with wife, played the games we got for Christmas with her uncle and cousin, watched some Stooges, some Twilight Zone, and the ball drop and then went to bed.  I don’t believe I had a drink all night.  I had a new phone to get the next morning.  Didn’t want to be hung over for that.

Why do ALL the non-religious people feel so superior to religious users? -SuperChaos

Because they believe they are right, just like the religious.  Only the religious superiority is more of pity towards atheists because they won’t get into heaven.  While the atheists feel superior in a different way, kind of like the way you would feel upon meeting a 35 year old who still believed in Santa Claus.  Like eye-rolling at a precocious scamp.

I got to know, why do people go on facebook,myspace,twitter,etc? SDownVRaw09

It takes less than ten minutes a day to find out what everyone you care about is up to.  It’s on your own time, terms, and great to not get bogged down in phone call after phone call.  I know what my moms sister is doing every day, and I haven’t seen her since my wedding 5 years ago.  I tell my Mom what her sisters up to and she still doesn’t get it.

‘Denise’ from the new Taco Bell commercial is gorgeous -Gameridian55

I’d like to Chimi her Changa.  But yeah, both those girls are cute. And I like the way the other girl gets pissed when she has to get Denise. I actually believe that shes pissed her service isn’t good enough. Quite the acting from her.

Should the drinking age in the United States be lowered to 18? -DatAzkhaban

Yes, I do.  At the least.  I think that we should follow a more European model and let kids get drunk.  Seriously. I feel drunk people are better when supervised.  Kids are more likely to get bored of getting drunk if its no big deal to anyone else.  But for America?  A great start is letting enlisted men and women have a drink, legally.  It’s ludicrous that an 18 year old solider  can shoot someone in the face from point blank rage or take a bomb in the crotch but having a beer or two to deal with it is a no-no.

You watch Bret Hart’s return on Raw? -zeitghost

I did, actually, thanks to a text from a friend.  Just the beginning.  Wasn’t impressed, really.  HD is not kind to the Hitman.  I thought they would spruce up an angle or something, but was pretty much the same tried and true forced heat recipe.