The What’s What, Volume 163

Have you gone in on Bruce/Caitlyn Jenner yet?  -Atchamachula

Lets talk about Caitlyn refusing to identify herself as a lesbian as obviously masking homophobia.  I mean, that was my understanding of her explanation.  When she balks at giving the required details, it seems quite ingenuous when you invited the camera into your home to begin with.  You’re the one who brought up your bafflejunk, so lets talk about it.  Maybe your argument would be better received if you stop piquing everyones interests and then telling those who are trying to understand that its none of their business.  Even trans people can be homophobic.  What a complex world equality is.

Is Bruce Jenners transformation just a publicity stunt thought up by reality TV execs to make money? can’t decide if its legit or he’s full of shit. -Breezy921

I believe hes the reason for the TV show. The producers knew Bruce was a trainwreck ready to happen, had some fame hungry kids so they gave them a tv show knowing the eventual trainwreck would happen and  they get to cash in on that juicy transgender breakthrough ratings and money and hype.

GF: We should do engagement photos
Me: No.
GF: Why not?
Me: I don’t want to play in leaves
GF: There doesn’t have to be leaves.
Me: There’s always leaves.
GF: You really don’t want to do this do you?
Me: No.
GF: Fine, but we’re doing wedding pictures and if I get pregnant, baby pictures.
Me: Okay.

Summarized convo. I’m going to try to wiggle out of baby announcement pictures if that time ever comes. I have some time to work on that though.  -machooch

I fought my way out of them, too. Its not a representation of who we are. “Remember that time we went to the beach and carved our initials into the beach with our bare feet, so the tide could wash away our love into the ocean forever more? You dont remember? ITS BECAUSE WE WOULD NEVER DO SOMETHING AS RIDICULOUS AS THAT.” I dont want to spend hundreds of dollars memorializing an event that wouldn’t exist.  Seems conceited.  Have your friend take candid photos of you doing things you like to do. Its the shit Id want remembered anyway.  That was basically my argument. We had a baby and she gets baby photos. I don’t care about that. Grandparents, relatives and friends legitimately want photos of that shit. Good Luck getting out of that one. You dont have to be in them or anything. You dont need the professional family mayhem. But there WILL be professional baby photos, you get used to that shit right now.

Are you more of a “based on statistics” or “based on personal experience” kind of person? -PermiscuousRex

My gut tells me I should say statistics.

Christian Summer Camp Denies Autistic Boy.  I thought Christians were caring people.  I didnt think Jesus hates autistic children.  -critter717

You must have missed it.  “‘And Yay’, he said standing on the mount and before the gathered village, ‘it is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle, than the developmentally awkward to enter the Kingdom of God'” and with that did he shoveth Corky, the village boy needing a goat-skull helmet, to the ground with disdain”. Jericho 7:13-18

Today I learned that some girls have the philosophy: “Lets get it brackin’ now or never”.  Meaning you better make the move now. I’m not going to wait on your ass to make a move. If not, I’m moving on without you. -Cosmospolitan89

So youre saying some women participate in emotional games?  Get the fuck out of here with this insanity.

It’s my ex gf. I hate when she does this shit. Talking about offing herself for one reason or another. I can’t bring myself to ignore her or be an asshole because you never know when it’s for real or not. On top of that she’s a cutter. Got nasty wounds on her arms. Part of the reason we didn’t work out. She would keep doing that when things didn’t go her way or for whatever reason.  It’s mentally, emotionally, and physically draining -TommyTiptoes

The great thing about ignoring suicide threats is if they dont commit suicide, you get to be right, and if they do commit suicide, no one knows you were wrong.

I’m going to Virginia Beach in a few weeks.  Protips?  -BetItsButterIfYouDo

Pocohontas for Breakfast, Timbuktu for Dinner.  Hope you like Mini Golf and jet noises.

Why do so many people in america think they are entitled to so many thing? see a lot of people complaining bout they dont have this they dont have that. If they dont get a job they blame obama. They want a min pay of 15/hr. It seems like to no one wants to put in hardwork. May be thats just me idk. -BoJo4

In the USA, the size of the paycheck you get from your job indicates the amount of respect you are able to expect from the general public. If fast food workers began to get nice homes and fancy cars and pay for their kids to go to private school, then people would WANT to have fast food jobs. To keep up with that, the job you have would have to raise your wage, or else theyd be worried youd go hustle fries at Burger Shack. You can work hard and get paid $7.25/hr. You can be a lazy ass making $50k/year. Working hard doesnt necessarily equate to more money and you sound like an idiot doing so.

Sushi is unnecessarily expensive for little bits of uncooked fish and rice.  Total scam.  Even when you get a hot meal (say salmon teriyaki, which is what I usually go for), they give you a woefully small portion of salmon.  The only thing I like is miso soup. -BritaniaPrevials

Choosing the ingredients in sushi is so much more important because everything is served raw. The higher the quality in fresh meats, sauces, fruits and vegetables is of ultimate importance since so very little is being done to them before service. Saying nothing of the techniques possibly showcased inknife skills, rice making and nori rolling by a skilled experienced chef can be really noticed when nothing is being done to anything else. They have sushi available in the big grocery stores if you cant tell the difference. No sense in paying for it.

WOW DOUGIE HAMILTON TRADED TO THE FLAMES -Nepats81

Its ugly, yes. I mean, Hamilton wants like $10M a year, and the Bruins dont want to pay him that. I feel like Chiarelli was booted because he invested too much in his own draft picks at the expense of other talent. So Sweeney doesnt want to do that, by starting to invest heavily in Chiarellis young talent. I mean, this is awful. Theres no way around it. Okay, we have picks. Don Sweeney better turn them into fucking gold because right now our defense consists of an ailing olding Zdeno Chara and a half a dozen ice cream cones on fucking skates.  We wont see the playoffs until 2018, if were lucky. 

I’m not sure I want to live in a country where gay marriage is legalized.  -TAV0R

Im not sure I want to live in a world in which The Shaggy Dog has 2 stars, while Whos Harry Crumb? has 1.  So, we should totally get an apartment together somewhere.

The What’s What, Volume 58

Breaking news; Michael Jackson in death coma. Thoughts?  -ASteiner31

Michael Jackson, woah. – Animedia

So, the King of Pop is dead.  You one of the caring? -copydude11

I can’t care for people I never met.  Sure, his music was great, but it’s not like he died in his prime and we’re missing out on years of upcoming hit singles and critically acclaimed albums.

What really got me caring about anything related to this is the fake mea culpa of Jordan/Evan Chandler that people are passing around as fact.  One guy writes a fake news piece about a molested child admitting the charges were lies, and everyone who can uses it as means of fact, blindly. I realize that someones heart is in the place of wanting to do anything to get the person they care about most the respect they feel the deceased deserves.  But can you imagine if you were raped and 10 years later someone writes a false confession for you? I ‘ve been accused of things I didn’t do, but still I can’t even come close to imagine what this kid is feeling. Not cool, Jacko sympathizer.

What team do you think has the coolest logo in sports? I’m not much of a hockey fan but I think the Minnesota Wild logo is pretty badass. -glidingprimate

Either the Amsterdam Admirals from NFL Europe or the throwback Boston Bruins logo with the bear in the forest, and the ungodly brown and orange striped uniforms.

Who Is Your Favourite Ghostbuster? -<3ALevin<3

Ill go Stantz. He was as smart as Egon and could be as funny as Venkman. Plus he developed most of the gadgets, and got a blow job from a ghost.

what if barbara boxer called the general the wrong rank? How would he have reacted? -akotohealth

I like how you get to address her as “Barbara”. He didn’t call her “Congresswoman”, he called her “maam.” The same thing she was calling Condoleeza Rice during testimony, I’m told.  I bet if she called him “Sir” he wouldnt have responded like a douche.   I’m with the Conservatives on this one.  If someone claims to have earned respect and a a title through hard work, I tell them it should be no problem to work a little harder for my respect.  Respect is earned, not entitled.

How about that Oklahoma girl who killed and skinned her puppy, and made a belt to get back at the girl who gave her the dog? –MKennedy

Just think of the ownage that would have been when the ex-girlfriend saw her in a store somewhere.
“Hey Alexa, sorry about leaving you, hows Fido?”
“Hes great at keeping my pants up, bitch.” *Lifts up shirt to show jack russel belt with owners tag buckle.*

What does reputation mean to you?  To me? Nothing, because of the music I and my friends like we are hated.
But hey, who cares? Reputation is determined on what a certain amount of people think about you. Its not Important, never care what people think about you. If they like you or hate you, who cares? Never let somebody else judge you. -Illinoid

Good luck trying to stop people from judging you.  Reputation is important because it goes farther than you do. People you have never met that could benefit or hurt your situation in life are judging you right now based on your reputation.   Doesn’t make it right, but it happens. Ever heard the phrase “Your reputation preceeds you.”? It’s because it does.  And whether you like to believe otherwise, peoples opinion of you matters a great deal. Telling people that it doesn’t matter what they think is only hurting you.

Thats crazy that Pennsylvania has 3 of the 4 major North American Championships, and 2 of them are in one city. -IdreamofJeanie

So then, it’s even way crazier to realize that The Red Sox, Celtics and Patriots all had championship at the same time 2 years ago, and they ARE from the same city!  Or is it only cool because its Pennsylvania?

How come anyone who’s been murdered is suddenly considered a good, decent person? you ever wonder about that? Every murder victim “brightens up the room, and was everyone’s friend”. It’s just weird, you know? -PhoenixRight

Its because they don’t put murdered assholes on the news.

Have you ever got pussy so good that you just don’t ever bother jerking off? i had some on monday…and me being a daily masturbator, haven’t even touched my penors in 4 days….i just deleted porn off my computer as well…could this be the end of a chronic masturbator? -IllbeBuck

Yes, I have. But it turns out other people were enjoying it also. And that’s how that goes.

I just found out that my Dad wanted me to be aborted… -OfficerFoster

I would be bringing that up in every situation, good or bad.  If I mess up it’s “Man, if only I was a bloody pool in the pan like you wanted, right Dad?”  If I do something nice it “A coathanger with a fetus attached couldn’t have done much better.. right pops?”

Have you ever looked at gay porn? -Girugamesh

Yeah, I watched a gay porn with some girls in college. I was hoping it would prove my openness while getting them all riled up and want to throw down, but they laughed it off and we went back to smoking weed and playing Scattergories like nothing happened.

All the dog lovers I’ve ever met hate small dogs. You are the only person I’ve ever seen to feel small dogs are superior. -FunnyJello

I think it’s an asshole move when you have a big dog and a small yard. I have a small yard, so I got a small dog.   Also, when people cant control their giant dogs when company comes, its a pretty big let down. It’s cool that you love your dog jumping and slobbering on you. But don’t subject your guests to that.  If my little dog jumps at you, he comes up to your knees.  Not really a big deal.

If the Ghostbusters game were not Ghostbusters licensed, it would be considered a bad game. Im enjoying it enough, but its a very ‘static’ feeling game.   I could see an expanded upon sequel being a great game, but this current game is a skeleton of a better game. -Mybandiscool

If it wasn’t licensed, it would have nothing to do with the GhostBusters. It would be called “Urban Apparition Hunter” and wouldn’t have any of the familiar characters, weapons, or plot that the original movie had.   But I agree with you, the game has an antiquated unprofessional feeling to it. It’s the nostalgia, plot and relatively fun combat that allows me to feel like I didn’t waste my money.

I once called my Grandfather by his real name, boy did he get mad. He said “What the hell did you just say, boy? You call me Papaw. Im not your drinking buddy, you stupid kid.” -RoyWi11liams

“I guess I was hoping we were buddies, too. I won’t make that mistake again, don’t worry about it, Grandfather.” Every time following that incident my grandfather would call me by my name I would say “What did you just call me? You call me “Sonny”. We’re not drinking buddies, old man.”

You can call my stories B.S. But I have done this before. When people tell me how hard they worked to receive the title “Doctor”, so they deserve respect. I tell them “You’ll have to work just a little harder to earn it from me.” I find someone demanding respect from people about the most disrespectful thing you can do.

Governor Marc Sanford, lol.  Did you see how Faux News had him as a Democrat in his press conference? -MissinChrisFarley

Seems like a bad idea for Fox to do that.  Now their viewers will deride him instead of supporting him like they would if they knew he was a Republican.  Either way something is fishy, his wife has known for 5 months, but yet he still goes to Argentina?  It sounds to me like hes made his choice.  Family values be damned, Republican, go get you some.

The most powerful superhero that no one ever talks about is probably Cap’n Crunch. And I mean in the literal sense that no one on ever talks about him on the lsit of superheroes.  You can bring up some superheroes that are very rarely brought up, but they are talked about more than Cap’n Crunch.  Sog out. -MainScreech

Keeping cookies crunchy in milk isn’t really a super power with broad usage.   I mean, it’s unlikely to save anyones life.

My Mom just got in a verbal fight with the cashier at 7-11. She is really scared of germs and when you buy a drink at 7-11 they always wrap their fingers around the top, where you have to put your mouth. This time she just put the bar code of the drink under the scanner, and the guy is like “this is mine, not yours” (he was talking about the scanner). Then she explained to him that he does not own 7-11, and he did not buy the scanner so he doesn’t own the scanner. Then she said if he owned 7-11, he would not be standing behind a counter for 8 hours a day,scanning her drink.

She couldn’t have explained her reasoning instead of being a total asshole?