The What’s What, Volume 75

HOLY CRAP Drago just knocked out Apollo. He’s not looking good after that. -ThereIsNoGodZilla

I agree with the widow Creed and blame Rocky, he should have thrown in the towel.  No matter how proud Apollo was.

Would you take $10,000 to Teabag a hibernating bear? -TinHearted

I’m pretty sure he’d fucking tear you to pieces before you unbuttoned your pants.  So, no thanks.

Watching Bored To Death?NineInchMark

Yeah, last Sundays was particularly funny, with the Craigslist girl. But the show is okay. More interesting than it is funny.  I don’t like that he never loses a case. It would make the show more appealing if you weren’t sure it was gonna work out in the end. I suppose they could be setting up for something.

FACT: Les Stroud > Bear Grylls -wool21

Les takes himself too seriously and is over-dramatic. We don’t need to see him bored in the wilderness to prove that he’s there.  They should merge the shows and drop one in one spot one week, and the other in the same spot the next week and see who has the best ideas and easiest time. Now, we’re talking.

“Taking Ecstasy is Safer Than Riding A Horse” -British Drug Czar David Nutt.  Reply? -BBSS8833

What a coincidence, Ecstasy is less exciting than riding a horse, also.

Rachel Scotts Dad came to talk to us at school today.  Shes the girl killed in the Columbine attacks that had all these premonitions of the attack and her death and stuff.   Very moving and eerie.  Have you heard of this? -everpack17

Have you heard the theory that she was in on the attack?  Apparently, there’s concern that she wanted to die, but didn’t want to commit suicide.  I’ve even read that the three of them had sex because no one wants to die a virgin, and then she did a bunch of things to look like she knew it was going to happen, because she did.  She even “somehow” saved her brother, who had a gun to his head at one point from several accounts.  I don’t subscribe to anyones version of the situation, because I wasn’t there and I really don’t care.  But when given the basic choices of “Knowing Co-conspirator” or “Teenager with mystical powers”, I’m going to invariably go with the one that’s more likely.

You’re from Boston.  Ever been to Salem on Halloween?  I just went, shit gets crazy there, It’s like being in the North Pole for Christmas, it just feels right. -EricaLamb

I prefer not to support the site of one of the most retarded government-sanctioned murder sprees in the countries history.   But thanks for asking, though.

I am part Japanese, and I don’t consider the word “jap” to be offensive.  -DaGr1lla

I don’t see how anyone could.  It’s like “Jew” or “Brit”.  But some Japanese people do get offended. So, I’ll still avoid the word to not chance bringing someone negativity because I’m not so lazy that I need to shorten a three syllable word.

PS3 fans are loving that party chat was removed from the XBox, but they never had it at all!  How does it feel, fanboy? -5Mt1.

Great, knowing that all my online games have been legitimate, and not open to rampant cheating exposed on the XBox. It’s like someone who has beaten cancer asking someone else “Hows it feel not having Cancer?”  It’s great, and you look retarded for asking such a retarded question.

Would you have to be really bored or have nothing better to do in order to take revenge on someone?  Let’s say someone you love gets killed. You have a 4.0 GPA and have a lot on your plate, maybe even an athletic scholarship. Could you be bothered to seek revenge? Would your decision depend on your itinerary? If I were bored enough I’d enact tons of revenge. -DudeListen

Revenge is not motivated by boredom or an abundance of free time. Revenge is motivated by injustice, and usually comes at the expense of future plans, not in spite of them.  If you aren’t emotional enough to concoct revenge, then you’re just wasting your effort thinking about how awesome it would be if you did.  That’s called a “grudge”.   Revenge isn’t rational. You either sacrifice things to obtain it, or you don’t care enough to do so. That’s it, the only two options.

The What’s What, Volume 63

Have you ever tried breast milk after being a baby? -cocakratos

I slept over a friend of mines house and in the morning he put his wifes breastmilk in my coffee. I barely noticed a difference, he thought I was gonna spit it out. When he told me I looked him straight in the eye, drank the rest of the coffee, and told him her boobs were delicious.

NO NOT CHRIS MCKENDRY, Bring back Hannah Storm.  -CircusBest

Both those ladies are worthless for sports reporting.  They are like robots who can’t pronounce athlete names.  Erin Andrews and Linda Cohn own them.

Have you ever hit a girl? -DJBizzle

Yes, twice.   Once, I instinctively slapped a girl who just spit water in my face to prove to her friends she was a bad ass or had the upper hand on me or something.  I’m not exactly sure why, but it was premeditated and juvenile.  And it wasn’t really like I hit her, more like I pushed her by the face, but there was a loud slap.  The other time was because a different girl asked me to several times during sex, so I did.  She had to convince me over time it’s what she wanted, but I eventually did.

A 3some with two 5’s or a 1-on-1 with a 10? -ElectoralUniversity

I have had both experiences. And I’m gonna say the three-way for a couple reasons.

1.) It’s more likely that you get a 10 drunk enough or generally vulnerable enough to plug her at some point in your life time. I have had 2. One as a girlfriend, and another as a one night stand.

2.) One the door is shut and the lights are off 2 sets or hands and holes is just ridiculously fun, and the likelihood you are going to get another opportunity for this is far less likely.

Mind you, during my threesome one was a 6 and the other an 8. But, I can’t ignore my own experiences. I guarantee that if you were really given that option, once its over, you’d regret not picking 2 girls. You’ve had sex with a hottie before. You’ve never been knuckle deep in two girls at the same time, or balls deep in one while being molar deep in the other.

Better Head Coach: Urban Meyer or Pete Carrol? -GestapoMotorCompany

Urban Meyer, 2 reasons.

1.) Recruits well in a really competitive state. Pretty much anyone who is talented and wants to live in Cali goes to USC these days.

2.) Not a proven failure in the NFL.

Name food combinations that sound odd/disgusting but are great in reality. -LynchPin321

Watermelon Sherbet and chocolate chips, my all time favorite.

have you ever been cheated on? If so, did you actually love the girl that did it to you?  my girl did it to me last month, during one of our “down” times. it really hurt me but i took her back… would you ever take back a girl if she cheated on you? -CooliosDreds

Yes, and I was in love with her. I would never have known about the cheating, if she wasn’t blackmailed into telling me by someone she trusted.  I owe the blackmailer a lot, she was the only one offering me the truth, as underhanded as the way she presented it was.

I didn’t have the option to take the girlfriend back. She had already decided to leave me when she started banging other dudes, yes, plural. She just needed me to help her move, get her high, eat her out, and buy her things until she had the nerve to dump me.  I wasn’t upset at the cheating as I was the way she handled it and treated me in the process.  She got a STD test, and I accepted that she cheated on me then, and didn’t really care all that much about the sex.  I was more interested in repairing what made her cheat, but again, she has resigned the relationships failure and portrayed an interest in fixing the relationship to continue taking advantage of my generosity.

Luckily, I had sex with the blackmailer (and unwittingly assisted the blackmail) a handful of times, and I had lost so much respect and just general interest in the ex-girlfriend, because of the callous way she treated me, it became a celebrated blessing that she was gone, never to resurface in my life for even a casual hello.   Again, in my story, I didn’t see the cheating as the serious problem.  It was the way she so easily resigned herself to using and disrespecting me  after advertising to our family and friends how much we were in love at the time that really opened my eyes to the type of person she was capable and, apparently, comfortable being.   That feeling of betrayed trust was far worse than her sleeping with some guy I didn’t like to begin with.

What’s opinion on Gordon Ramsay?-Vadilla

Don’t know, never met him. I have had his food once and it was fantastic.  If he really is how his TV shows portray him, then we would not get along, professionally. I have worked for chefs like him, and don’t react well to that kind of motivation.

So wait… the recession was caused by people buying things they couldn’t afford on credit. So as part of the recovery, the government creates a program where they encourage people to buy cars on credit they normally wouldn’t? You don’t  see a problem with this? -LittleFather

Prius’ don’t cost as much as a two family, 12 acre Colonial in Lenox, Massachusettts, genius.

If the PS3 sold trophies, I’d probably buy one. OfficerFoster

They’re a good secondary goal if I’m having a good time with the game. It seems like the design, to allow others to see what games you liked by how far you advanced or how much you play them was overrun by farmers. I bet it sells/rents more games so, I bet the developers like that.

I’m in Boston alone. What should I do? -PeriodicLoveseat

Museum of Science is the bomb. Theres usually a few good IMAX movies playing throughout the day. The planet-arium is good there also.

I would also suggest BU Beach. Which is not actually a beach. Its a field next to Storrow Drive behind BU, and when you lie down and close your eyes, the cars driving by behind you over the hill sound like waves crashing. But, hotties tan there during the summer when the kids are out of school.

If you have a GPS go Geocaching and see some cool landmarks and historical sights, if that stuff interests you.

What near-future events are you most excited for? -Josh9515

In order of appearance; The 6th Annual Perseid MeteOpen (a night golf event during a meteor shower), my friends fantasy football draft party, football sundays, fall weather, and Red Dead Redemption.

The What’s What, Volume 62

If you jerk off and work out at the same time you will work out more as theres more adrenaline, you will orgasm alot harder from the sudden relaxation and you only need to clean yourself up once for two activities. -Dirty_Pants

Way ahead of you, I installed a fleshlight into my rowing machine. One of my greatest achievements.

Your opinion on Mopeds? -mayobacon

A buddy of mine had a few decked out as mini dirtbikes and we used to ride them around his families trails when we were kids.   I certainly wish they were more accepted. Cheap, safe, easy on the environment.

If you live in a small town, I say yes. Otherwise, no. Probably to dangerous to ride on the roads. Something you laugh about and don’t change any insurance information for in a car will kill someone on a moped.

Slumdog Millionaire’s story was just terrible. The movie was very well made, but the story just blew. -AuburnU99

Note to directors; just because you have a low budget does not make chases on foot as exciting as car chases. There’s less explosions. Thank you.  The first time I saw it, I was on a plane and didn’t have the sound. I thought it was a movie about marathons, there was so much god damned running.

Which is worse: Anime or wrestling? -CleanHarry

First off, I’m giving anyone 18 years or younger a pass on either of them. Kids can be into these without losing respect from me.

But for adults? Anime. Unfortunately, the stereotypes associated with anime are far worse than the stereotypes associated with watching wrestling. Plus, I know fans of wrestling who don’t take it seriously at all. The only people who claim to really enjoy anime without suspending disbelief or the “I’m just watching the technical aspects of the animation crowd” comes off as a horrible excuse to get off on tentacle porn.

If Jesus Christ offered you a hug right now, would you accept, Atheist? -NeoSkywalker

Passing up a hug from Jesus is like passing up a blow job from Isabella Soprano; you just don’t do those kinds of things.

See Watchmen yet?  Waiting for your take. -DJKwan&TheBiz

1.) Why are all these people caring about the death of an asshole? They show the Comedian just being a douchebag the entire movie. And everyone is sad when he dies. They show one little scene where he is drunk and presumably is regretful. I just don’t get it.

2.) How is Rorshach able to claim that “someone is killing off costumed heroes” after the Comedians death? It’s only one murder, not a serial killing. Also, if there was one Watchmen that made enemies, it looked like the Comedian was that guy. What as asshole he was. He deserved to be murdered by other Watchmen because he was giving them a bad name.

Good movie, but long. Needed more Ozymandias.

Hey, Elitist Atheist – How does it  make you feel to know that it was a Roman Catholic Priest who first proposed what we now call the “Big Bang” theory? -SmallPerformance36

I would wager that he was trying to prove God exists somehow.  But, why would finding truth bother someone, dependent on how they were trying to find it?   That’s doesn’t make any sense to me, personally.

Why does everyone from Boston think it is the greatest city ever? -AmandaHuggenkiss

It’s a beautiful coastal city where college aged girls are the number one demographic. Thanks to the dozens of gigantic colleges and half dozen or so girls only colleges. If you have never been, then I suggest you go before wondering why 99% of the people who have been there, loves it.

Would you agree that if someone is a High School Football coach, they’re a failure? -HomoforRomo

Depends on their ambitions. If they had dreams of coaching in the NCAA or NFL, then yes, they are failures.  If they just want to be a leader to young people and a pillar of the community, then they are not.  By my method, you would only know he’s a failure if he admitted it to you.

I miss the XFL. -TKornheisersbaldspot

That scramble at the beginning of the game for the ball instead of the coin toss was fucking BOSS.

If you don’t think Michael Vick has (more than) paid his debt to society then you’re just a racist.-LockBlock

If I (white) get sent to jail for 2 years on racketeering charges, you think my job is gonna let me back?

Rate Minnie Driver out of 10. -Barrelryder

She moderately cute. Nice boobies. In interviews her personality and accent makes her more attractive. Also, I was surprised how well she can sing. 8/10

Did you watch alot of TV when you were a kid?Imnotalf

I watched Saturday morning cartoons and live sports with my Dad up until we got cable and Nickelodeon when I was 8, I think, then I watched that alot.  My sister and I watched A-Team and Dukes of Hazzard on Fridays too. But that was it. Couple hours a week.  Granted, there wasn’t much for kids on TV all day when I was a kid.  I wasn’t really into the Reagan/Mondale debates.

A Unicorn with a dildo on its head instead of a horn.  Dildocorn?  Uniporn?  Thoughts? -Sizzlean15

My thoughts are to call animal control.