People who insist on eathing their food with chopsticks. Stahp. They invented forks and spoons for a reason. SMH -diamondtime
My neighbor visited Japan and bought this cherrywood and steel sake/sushi set as a souvenir. Fast forward 20 years later, and shes going to put it out at a garage sale for $5. The shit was worth hundreds when she bought it. Damn right I scooped that shit up and ate chicken nuggets and Kool-Aid by the shot with that thing for DAYS. Id have eaten Frosted Flakes out of the motherfucker if I could have. But thats my limit. I dont break apart the cheap chopsticks at your local crab rangoonery and rub them together just for the sake of doing so. That shit is rookie mode.
I need a metaphor for a clown funeral. Hit me with it. -CanadiAnne
I always wondered why the creatures that fart silk and shit honey are the most terrifying creatures on the planet. Why cant koala bears make this stuff? I mean, I dont have the phrasing down for you, but that fits for me.
How long would you survive in medieval times ?
Id like to think I could get away with some grift utilizing my future knowledge. But just learning how to speak without arousing suspicion, or being labeled a magician or whatever seems like a tough sell. I would like to think that I had some basic knowledge of horsemanship or smelting and smithing or whatever, but I have none of that. I bet I could offer my services as a cook to an Inn in exchange for a small pittance and a room. But honestly, and its crazy to say, I think my best shot would be in medicine. I have a pretty solid standard knowledge, no medical school or anything, but I dont think it would be needed. These people were still shitting where they ate. Id break out cocaine 200 years before its time, treat everyone with that shit and make fucking gold. Just getting people to wash their hands once a day might save some serious fucking problems. But that also might get me burned at the stake. It’s a fine line, youd think.
So, this couple got these red splotchy tattoos on their legs because theyre daughter has a red splotchy birthmark on her leg. What in the actual fuck? -OAmber
I get the sentiment and all, but instead of awkward “What happened to your daughter?” questions, they’ll be responding to awkward “What happened to your family?” questions, only now they have to give two answers. I mean… why dont they all just wear pants?
Would you rather know when you’re going to die or what you’re going to die from? -BakingWildCat
Knowing what killed you could be more beneficial in regards to preventing that death and getting to your second killer. If the door were open to that situation, Id have to think about that some more. Otherwise, give me the when.
Are you attracted to red pubic hair? -RealLeoAvus
Just so I could call her “FantaPants” and yell “FIRE IN THE HOOOOOOOOOOOOOLE” when she takes her panties off.
Who do you want to see at the Super Bowl halftime show in 2016? It’s really hard to pick an artist that doesn’t suck because they’ll either be too obscure (for the venue) or the genre they’re in is too niche for all the old white people watching. -smokemeth
Neil Patrick Harris. No, really. I want the Super Bowl halftime show to be a giant flashy musical 12-minute opera that summarizes and lampoons the entire season. Midgets in lego suits recreating popular highlights and endings to good games. Light and tongue-in-cheek, like the Oscars opening number had sex with the Beijing Olympic opening ceremony. But the NFL stuffed shirts would never allow themselves to be the butt of jokes, integrity of the game, all that bullshit. I could see someone who crosses genres like Macklemore getting a bid. But it’s probably going to be someone we havent heard of yet.
Have you found the meaning of life? Or at the very least meaning in your own life? -SushiAddict
The Whimsical MetaCognitionist Chronicles 