The What’s What, Volume 117

Why do so many MLB players not swing 3-0?  Very often you’re getting a fat meatball of a pitch down the middle of the plate. The highest level I ever played was HS ball, but I always swung 3-0 if it was a good pitch to hit. This always bothered me that MLB hitters just pass on what is likely to be the most hittable pitch they’ll see in the whole game.  -VendinglyIlluminated

I completely agree. They should, AT THE VERY LEAST, be expecting a meatball to crush. I see alot of 3-0 meatballs that go by because the manager demands another click to the opposing pitch count. I’m all for working a pitcher long, but also have never understood the pitch count argument in that situation.  I get the “next two pitches might be a ball” angle, but still feel like the rewards are worth the risk.

Why do men who pose for Playgirl do so without boners? I mean if it’s without boners then it’s kind of not telling the whole story. -Trezzk2

Good point, never thought of that.  My first instinct is to note that it would seem like people whod want to look at pictures of naked men for sexual arousal, would want those men sexually aroused.   But, whatever. Not my canoe, so I’m not wasting any time paddling.

Fuck you, Texas.  I dunno why but I felt compelled to say that. -Tricky70930

I had a fair time when I went. The people were nice enough. And the BBQ, while good, I’ve always preferred the saucy version of Tennessee and the Carolinas. I also disagree with some of their politics, but it’s a fine place and I’d welcome the chance to go back.

 Is it acceptable to eat dessert after lunch? – somerandomguy

I say Yes, unless you’re fat.  Then, you are inviting ridicule.  You can wait an hour or so and call it a snack, legally.  Of course, this is all hinging on the fact that it’s a lighter dessert than one would expect at dinner, since lunch is a lighter meal that dinner.  You can’t have a cup of soup and a bakery tasting sampler at the break room table or anything.

I Showed My Gynecologist Friend, Who Specializes In Women Over 70, Your Blog Yesterday…He said it’s the worst thing he’s ever seen.  -Adsimbenefits

I am shocked bordering disbelief. Why a doctor would focus on a human organ that doesnt work anymore is completely over the scope of my understanding. What kind of gynecologist specializes in the elderly? The malfunction rate on a human female 75 year old uterus has to be around 100%. It’s like rebuilding a god-damned BetaMax. Even if you get it working, theres nothing you can put in it. Wait. Not the best analogy. Hold on. It’s like calling a mechanic for that car you have under a tarp in your garage for the last 20 years, but it runs on moon rocks.  Why not deliver babies? Why not try to give a middle aged woman the chance at motherhood? Seems counter-productive to me, is all. Not only is that gross, but he must suck.  He just slides off their panties, takes a dust buster to the wrinkly cooters, tosses in a couple moth balls and charges Medicare $300?  I hope you didnt let him use your keyboard.  I kid, tell him thanks for reading.

SCENARIO: You can ENHANCE one part of your body with CYBERNETICS.  Which body part do you choose?  Which body part do you choose?  Derk@_Derk@

While it would be very cool to have super eyesight or hearing for the rest of my life.  Can I cheat and wait until something starts to fail, and use it on that?  For a guaranteed second lease on life for even the slightest amount of time?  I’d do that.  What a rare gift.

I know hes dead and everything but Greg Giraldo wasnt that funny.  this i only my opinion of course….maybe i just didnt understand his schtick.  -OffenseSupplied

While I enjoyed his roast work, people overstepped his impact and success in the days after he died.  I can’t blame them, and it’s am amazing common phenomenon.  Don’t let it get to you.

Should I buy a Kindle? -prusion3126

While it’s my favorite stand-alone e-reader, not if you can hold off. The prices have continually decreased since their inception. Eventually, people believe it will be more cost effective to give them away with the purchase of 5 books, or opening an amazon account or something.  Unless you are getting an iPad or a tablet to does other things, hold off as long as you can to save hundreds of dollars, and gain years of technological advancement.

People who aren’t registered organ donors shouldn’t be able to be put on an organ waiting list.  They shouldn’t be able to receive donated organs if they aren’t willing to do the same.  -BroncksBommahs2

This isn’t a take-a-penny, leave-a-penny pot luck supper. Usable organs should go to those that need them, end of story.

The What’s What, Volume 18

How exactly do I ask my mom this? I want to ask her why she never circumcised me. But how exactly do I bring that up in conversation? -Edmulled

“Mom, why do you hate jews?” No seriously, just ask her. Someone else asked her when you were born. It’s your penis, you have a right to know.

Rate a band /10: Dropkick Murphys -MrAwesome

9/10. Full disclosure though, I’m from Boston.

If you could prevent 1 persons death in any time in history, who would it be? -SambarLee

If we’re talking Epic History, JFK. If we’re talking personal guilty pleasure; Phil Hartman.

You ever “top-shelf” anyone? -BongZimmer

You mean the Mexican Aquarium? Top-loading? 2,000 Brown Flushes? Up-Tanking? No. I have never done it. Seems like it would be an awkward situation for me. I do know someone who claims to have “High-Bowled” Rachel Ray at her house in Saratoga. Great story he tells.

Should I smoke weed? -Harbringer319

Whichever those options you choose, neither will make you a better person. So, just don’t make a big deal about whichever direction you go, and people don;t have the right to resent you.

Slavery helped African-Americans because otherwise, they’d be starving in Africa. -crider4

If I was a southerner, I’d want white reparations for the transportation and room & board afforded to black people. Unfortunately, my great-great grandfather fought in the Civil war wearing Blue, so I don’t have any claim.

So a mosque is being built near my town and all the Christians are going crazy. Protesting to the government to try to get it stopped. Being an atheist, I really don’t see what the problem is. No one protests churches being built, why should they protest mosques? -Cruzcontrol

Is there another way for a religion built on tolerance to react?

What would you consider the perfect size for your ladies boobs? -BlackDraggin

Anything more than a handful is unnecessary and potentially dangerous. Plus it avoids the chances of some turd-burgling douche-gallon eye-humping your ladies chesticles right in front of you at any given point.

If given a choice between Hamburgers and Hot Dogs only at a BBQ, which one would you pick? -4Chancellor

Sight unseen? I would choose the hot dog, because I’ve been to many a BBQ where the burgers are burnt meatballs on a bun. Tough to fuck up a hot dog.

Are you Circumcised? I am and I’m proud not only because of the many health benefits but As a Jew it is the covenant that Abraham made with G-d when he said every descendant shall have the mark of the covenant. -fibronostalgia

I am, but neither feel pride nor shame because of it.

Would you have sex with your land lord if you were broke and needed to pay rent? What if your land lord was a dude but looked like a young david hasselhoff? -Frazzled

He can eat my cheeseburger off the floor.

Would have sex with your hot boss, regardless of the ramifications? -8bitselect

Depends on the boss, I have like 50.

I’ve never been a big fan of The Boondocks. and I’m black. Is there anything wrong with that? -Razashell

Im a big fan, and I’m white. I don’t think you are an Uncle Tom or anything because you don’t like a cartoon show thats aimed at your demographic. Just shows you are more complex than your skin color, but aren’t we all?

Why are so many people jumping onto the Buddhism bandwagon? Seriously. I’m hearing more and more people talk about how they’re Buddhist while also being their religion. What? -JayMotes

I don’t get how people feel the need to move from one religion to another, like one has the answers they need, and they can’t possibly have an identity of spirituality without religion. Anyway, Buddhism is a fine religion. Could use a dose of it in America. People should recognize that different things don’t have to be classified as better or worse, just different.