The What’s What, Volume 108

Thanks to everyone who sent me recommendations on a new blog service.  Special thanks to CanadiAnne for creating a WordPress account for the specific purpose of troubleshooting the issue, and finding the fix by adding a specific combination of apps and filters to my browser.   We’ll remain here until the next thumbs-down.  Or maybe earlier, I’ve heard very good things about blogspot.

LOL that ESPN 30 for 30 special on the Red Sox 3-0 series comeback is so epic.  The best part so far was when the butthurt Yankees fans were throwing shit on the field because A-Rod got caught cheating. -shyguy5676

MLB Productions did a great job. I expected them to gloss over or not mention the dubious parts of that series, but they showed the warts and all.

Should I start watching Prison Break or Deadwood? I’ve already seen The Sopranos, 24, Lost, Heroes and Nip Tuck. I’m already into Dexter and following this season. And I’m up to season 4 of The Wire.  -Jeremeier

Only the first season of Prison Break is worth watching.  The Deadwood catalog is boss. Get you some.

if you were granted one request by god to change the world, what would you ask him for? -roastinglikeever

I’d need a lot of consideration.  Id wish for him to “become a little more involved in the people of Earths well being” or even “Set everyone straight on which religion is accurate.”

Do you consider yourself different from other people? -aeyxes

I’m unique, just like everyone else.  Doesn’t make me better in any way, though.

Louis CK > George Carlin.  After his latest stand up, he officially moved to the number 1 spot. He’s a hit and no miss comedian. -VandRandV

Carlin did a lot for the prestige of comedy. He ended his career a pompous, bitter, social commentator more than a comedian. Louis CK hasn’t even come close to the level of traditional success of Carlin. He’s being edgier in a time that’s much more difficult to be so, but if Henny Youngman opened the doors of edgy comedy, Carlin opened it up with an axe and a crazed look, Shining style.  In short, if your argument is Louis CK > Carlin, best comedian ever, you’re going to come off sounding arrogant because of the levels of esteem and success Carlin was able to achieve. if our argument is Louis > Carlin for your comedy enjoyment, personally, then that’s cool, I’m right there with you.

Do you consider it wrong for people to “fall in love” with “fictional” characters?  It’s something that’s become somewhat accepted in the anime community. I know the majority of you here think it’s weird but I want to hear your perspective. “Love” meaning going beyond simply being attracted to someone, but feeling deeply emotionally attached to.  Is the fact that you can’t actually interact with someone a significant enough barrier to where you shouldn’t be able to “love” them or the qualities that they represent? Do you think I’m just a socially-deprived loser who lacks the ability to find “real love” so turned to anime instead?  -Azu-Nyan

Love is a mutual concept. It’s a two way street. It’s impossible to love something that doesn’t know you exist. That’s called lust. And knock yourself out with lust. All day long. Fine by me. But when you compare what you have vs people who have to put effort into making a loving relationship worthy, then you are an embarrassment to humans, and a failure to yourself.

A man can beat his wife and kids as long as he leaves no physical marks, the United Arab Emirates’ highest court has found.  Reaction? -NeedInput

I bet theres still way more domestic violence in America.

SCENARIO:Your GF steps on Christian Bales shoes in public and he starts yelling at her.  What do you do, hotshot? -codmohcommander

We turn our back on him and walk away.  I bet that would piss him off more than anything we could say.

Should immigrants be forced to learn the language of the nation they move to? -ZombieImplants

No. People should choose to do it because communication could be necessary to saving your life and the lives of people you love, among one of the many obvious examples of how to use society to your benefit.  But no one should be forced to do anything, in a free country. That’s kind of the point, and makes you just as retarded as the people who choose not to.

Do you buy a lot of dvds/blurays? I personally buy tons of dvds and they really stack up. Pickin up predator along with Fallout later. Just wondering as I know lots of people just download them nowadays. I have been buying lots of blurays lately too.  -sgilatapus

I have like my top 5-10 movies or so on Blu-ray/DVD. The only time I watch them is with friends who haven’t seen the movie.  When the movie is on TV, I’ll watch until the first commercial to catch a vibe and if I want to see it, I play the DVD, if not, I turn the channel. I absolutely refuse to watch a movie on TV (unless its on HBO or Showtime) that I have on DVD. Makes me feel like I’m a retard, watching the edited, commercial filled version.

The What’s What, Volume 97

as every summer approaches, I hope and pray that it is the year where jorts enter extinction and every summer I am disappointed. -_Deeze_

I actually had to google “jorts”.  That’s how old I am.  Turns out, they’re “jean shorts”.  Now it all makes sense. After consideration of the issue, I’m going to vote to continue letting women wear jean shorts, but only the kind made from old jeans.  Never hemmed at cuff.  Men can’t do either.  If you have a penis and are wearing jean shorts, you should leave your trailer for an hour and get yourself something that isn’t embarrassing you for the summer.  Treat yourself, and the rest of us.

See the Evans/Rampage bout? -Grapedrinker

I did.  I understand when people who pay for the fights get upset by what they call “lay and pray”.  Also, I completely agree that these fights are wholly unexciting.  However, I just cannot fault Evans for using the strategy to win.  In a successful career, winning and limiting damage are pretty much the two necessities.   It’s boring, but landing 2 jabs and snuggling is technically fundamental.  Which is why the undercards are always more exciting.  Less fundamentals, more opportunity for mistakes.

i mean, like these dudes are bitches. i make one comment and they remove me from their friends list lol.    i could understand when girls do this, but like really what little bitches.  so what if i drop f bombs and shit, who the fuck cares, its the goddamned internetz. serious bizness. -smoke_dust_rising

So what if you drop f-bombs? The people who dropped your ass care. How about using a little god-damned tact and consideration for the people you consider friends? Some peoples Facebook pages are the social equivalent of a childrens birthday party on the internet. You run into the inflatable bouncetty-bounce, start swearing and dropping retarded jokes next to people that were born this decade or lived through the holocaust or something and you wonder why you don’t get invited back?

I don’t care if you want to be a retarded asshole in front of people that could eventually offer you help in your life. Your reputation is yours to piece up all you like, but I’ll be damned if I’m going to listen to you complain about it like your butthurt, and then act like you don’t care when you admit it’s all your doing.

In about 15 years, J.K. Rowling will probably make a lotta “greatest author of all-time” lists… Even though she probably doesn’t deserve to be there, she is single-handedly responsible for igniting an entire generations love for literature. Not many, if any, writers have ever been able to do that in their lifetime.  ColLexSanders

“Most successful” =/= “Greatest All-Time”.  Plus I’m going to take issue with your claims of her turning a generation onto literature.  Kids waited for the next HP book.  They weren’t pick up any Ginsberg or anything.

SCENARIO: Qui Gon Jinn never goes out & gets Anakin Skywalker. How do things change? Does the original trilogy still happen? Is there still civil war? Does Palpatine still become all powerful?  -RoyaleSithCheese

It’s a prophecy. Anakin would have found his way into the situation some other way.   What’s more interesting to me is how everyone expected Anakin to be this wonderful person. His prophecy was to bring balance to the force. And the Jedi were ahead by thousands. So, either the Sith would become equally powerful, or the Jedi’s were to get served up to a scant few, which is what happened. Everyone seemed shocked by these events. I still don’t get it.

Sarah Palin recent tweet:  “Extreme Greenies: see now why we push “drill,baby,drill” of known reserves&promising in safe onshore places like ANWR? Now do you get it?”

I realize she’s pigeon-holed herself as America’s Mom, and everything.  But, I can do without the condescension.  Being all “I told you so” is going to get people defensive instead of considering your point.  Not that I believe what she’s saying anyway, there’s plenty of footage of her campaigning for extended off-shore drilling.

A-Rod doesn’t seem to want the record anymoreEver since he was like “I’m on teh roids lol” he’s not swinging for the fences. This makes me a sad panda. -ImpliedOffense

Well, because of his steroid usage, it’s been tainted.   It’s best he keeps quiet and cross bridges as he comes to them.  I’d rather not double the amount of complete douchebag juicers on top of the HR list. But you are free to hope as you choose.

Do women withhold sex as a form of coercion or punishment? This is another one of those issues that perplexes me whenever I contemplate female sexuality. I’m genuinely curious to know if (a) this is a widespread occurrence, and (b) why a woman would do this at all. -amazingbagman

Really?  After centuries of sexual repression, objectification and double-standards, you need to ask why women use sex as a weapon?  Really, dude?  I hope you are good looking.

Someone Steps on Your Sneakers; pull knife, pull gun, or punch them?  I did option 1 today when some cracker stepped on my Jordans. I went easy on him since they are kinda old, I’ve had them for two whole months.  -FritosInyoAss

Well, traditionally people expect shoes to take a beating. You know, due to the close proximity and repeated contact with THE GROUND.  An accident is one thing. Completely unacceptable to get upset over. If not this, then you’d kick a curb or catch a screw on the train or something.  On purpose is another. You’d best equalize or answer with superior aggression if you got the numbers, size and/or skill., in any situation someone is trying to bring you undue negativity.

The What’s What, Volume 65

Whats the earliest you’ve ever wake ‘n baked it?-UkranianRifRif

4:20 every year on 4/20. I know. Make fun all you want.  Other than that, probably 5:30 or 6 for the Boston marathon.

It’s strange how athiests believe in aliens and yet don’t believe in God. Most of the atheist’s arguments are “Well the galaxy is so big how could there not be life on other planets?” And yet, there’s no scientific proof that aliens exist at all. It’s funny how they’re the same ones bashing Christians and Muslims because “There’s no proof God exists, LOL”  Oh, the hypocrisy. -DrunkenCookie

Life on Earth is proof it can happen for people who don’t believe in creation.  That is to say humans are aliens to every other planet.

Why does the audience always boo the guy when he is not the father on Maury? -EC4118

Because they want everyones life to be crappier than the one that led them to be sitting in a Maury Povich audience.

Remember when you used to fap to the Girls Gone Wild commercials? -CockStar

No, never the commercials, unfortunately.  But, I am still in love with the Southern girl in the purple bikini that called her mom to ask her if she could take her top off.  Mom said yes, and I am forever grateful.

2 years for shooting yourself in the leg???? What kind of ass-backwards system is this? -QDNPCash

A gun in his possession went off in a crowded bar on accident.   It’s still a crime, and a miracle he only shot his own retarded ass.

A Spa nearby was advertising: “Spermalogical Facial – 340% off” – E3ClampsE3

I know it’s not the focus, but how the hell is anything 340% off?   That means they pay you three times the amount of the service to get one?  I can’t get past this.

So I’m randomly going for “coffee” with my high school crush/obsession this weekend. I’m 22 now so this was obviously a long time ago, but I had the hugest, hugest crush on this girl, nothing ever came of it because she had always had a boyfriend / I was too much of a bitch to make my move. When I did have a sort of chance a few years ago, I’d moved on, had other girls etc.

Now I’m broken up with my GF of 3 years for quite a while and I’m going with this girl who was like, “the one who got away.” It’s messing me up…serious advice Vesti? She initiated this which is good at least. She lives in a town 2-3 hours away for college purposes, although her family and many friends live here, and she comes back intermittently. Also, I know she’s dated (and so presumably sexed) a lot of guys, to the point many guys would not like it. Ahhh well! -C0ldB1ll

Sweet, so now that her emotions have been torn apart by pretty boys in college, shes decided to take stock in the guys that worshipped her in high school to see if any of them are rich. Play up the fact that you have great occupational prospects and you are likely to get a shot in her pants. Welcome to life.

apparently theyre bringing back celebrity boxing and rodney king is going to fight an ex cop, lol – DogtheAccountant

Are they going to make RK fight on his back from the ground like last time?

Has America always been in a culture war? Or is this way worse than its ever been before? -ElPadrinoExperto

When the media sold out, they pretty much polarized everything. It started sometime during President Clintons Administration.  Seems to have gotten super amped up during the Gore v Bush thing.

Shatter kicks ass.  -CranstonNBC

It took me a THOUSAND tries to get 10M on the bonus mode. Got 9.8 three times and 9 or over at least a dozen times.  Finally got the trophy tonight, 11.1M. LoL.

Bob Ryan said Jeter is the best of his generation.-IwontheInternet

His defense has always been suspect. And he’s a little overrated overall because he’s playing the Yankees premier position.  He’s great, don’t get me wrong. First ballot hall of famer. But hes not the best of this generation.   I’m giving that distinction to either A-Rod or Ichiro. Seriously.

The What’s What, Volume 50

I think every Sox/Yanks fan secretely respects certain players on the other side. For instance, I’m a big Red Sox fan and hate the Yankees but at the same time, I have a lot of respect for Posada, Jeter, Rivera, and Mussina and Torre when they were with the Yanks. -CrossFiyah

I don’t secretly respect them, I openly respect them. I am a Sox fan and my love for baseball won’t allow me to hate the Yankees. They’re great for baseball.  I do dislike the new stadium, the new Steinbrenner and A-Rod. But only because I think they are bad for baseball.  I think that Jeter is way overrated, but I still respect him as a competitor. Sox v Yanks truly does transcend baseball and thats great for the sport.

What foods are better as left overs than fresh? Earlier I had a meal from Olive Garden, it was ehhh while I ate it there. I ate half and boxed up the rest. I heated my left overs up in the microwave not too long ago and it was FUCKING AMAZING. So much better.  -Filmenhancer

Soups, stews, and chili all taste better after they’ve been fridge fucking for a day or two.  Time enhances these flavours, like marinating only after the fact.

Senator John Mccain is still Alive! Now four months since his humiliating lose to the Community Organizer in the American Presidential election. It appears the much talked about supposed Liberal theory of him dieing shortly after being  elected were GREATLY EXAGGERATED or possible even  just Propaganda.  More updates to come in the next 3 1/2 years as this story continues to unfold. -Large_Loaf77

He’s also playing golf with family and friends, and not having to deal with the stressful situations that comes with being President.  No wonder he’s fine.   And the only reason that was an issue is because of his choice for VP.  Republicans aren’t even close to getting over losing, and it’s making their opponents happy.  Stop letting everyone know how much it kills you inside.  When your enemy suffers, laughter is acceptable.

I think Im alone when I say HJ’s > BJ’s. -Regrenade

Thats ridiculous, you can give yourself a hand job. Plus the added bonus of getting your girl to shut the fuck up for 10 minutes, is pretty key.

I had a bad afternoon with a girl. She consistently pushed away and denied kissing me. Now I feel like a jerk. Discuss. -SizzermeTimbers

Chloroform: The Handshake of Seduction.

Humans can do cool, amazing things, but it’s really only limited by how much we currently know and how far out into the universe we are capable of reaching… Which is laughably short-handed, obviously. I bet in comparison to other intelligent beings out there, we are incredibly lame and pretty limited in ability… -Tokyo_Black

I’m sure these other alien races had obstacles to deal with.  You have to evolve into a better race. I’m talking mentally as much as physically.  Everyones cognition has to be globally centered to utilize full progress.  But to most on Earth today, it’s a laughingstock. Too many obstacles still to overcome for us.

i’m the kind of guy that hates small talk, but also hates awkward silence.. im going out with like 3 girls tonight, and i’m sure there will be few times when no one will be saying anything and it will get awkward as hell. what do you  do during times like these? -IMNigerian

Think of some good stories before the event to bring up only in these situations.  That’s what I do. Or just fart, really, really loudly.

Somehow it’s okay to make fun of the nuclear bombing of innocent civilians 70 years ago at the cost of the victims but it’s not okay to do the same for 9/11? I’m not for or against either, just wondering why this is so. Doesn’t suffering=suffering, and shouldn’t that concept exist outside of time? Humans so fickle…

I know, seriously. They do say that humor = tragedy + time.  The good news is, in just a few short years the holocaust is going to be COMPLETELY HILARIOUS.

Is it me or Black people pissed that Eminem is at the very least a top 5 Emcee of all time? -BahamaPapa

About as mad that some white people are about Tiger Woods being the best golfer.

5 Progressive Insurance commercials later.. would you hit Flo? -plaidtrousers

I’d like to trick out her name tag.

Why did Constantinople get the works? -Moneyhan

That’s nobodies business but the Turks.

The What’s What, Volume 44

Don’t you hate video news stories on sites? If I want to look up news I want to read it, I don’t want to wait for a video to load, see an ad, watch all the boring stuff, etc. I want to be able to read it, skim through to an important part, or just click back if the story wasn’t good.  . -Raistlin666

Absolutely, its one of the reasons I pay for a news site.  That, an no ads or sponsors to hinder stories based on ratings. If I wanted to watch the news, I’d turn on the TV.

Have you ever listened to a bulgarian song? -BuckWalid

Unlikely, unless they snuck one into GTA:IV’s “Chernobyl” station.

Nevada just put a state tax on cigs and it’s about 6 dollars for a pack now. I’m not a real smoker but I went to a pool hall with some friends tonight and we like to have a few cigs while we drink and play pool. So I picked up a pack for all us to share and it was freaking 6 dollars. it used to be 3.50. The cashier told me it’s going up to 7 dollars a pack august 1st. I feel bad for the every day smokers who pound through a pack a day. I realize the government needs money but if they put cig companies out of business aren’t more people going to lose their jobs? -she_bay_bee

I suggest buying cartons online. I used to get my Parliament Lights with Russian warnings on them, but they tasted the same and cost like 1/4 of the price. I just kept a carton or two in the freezer. They probably had lax regulations in Russia, but I rationalized that by smoking any kind of cigarette anyway. Like cigarettes in America are healthy or something?

Im hitting .175 with my RTTS guy in The Show after 63 at-bats. Why did they make hitting so damn hard. Makes me want to stop playing. Everything is just a weak ground ball. -Mass_FX

Yeah, just try and get through spring training. Once you get in the minors you’ll do okay. You are a rookie fresh out of highschool, trying to hit Jake Peavy and Tim Lincecum. Don’t get too discouraged.

do you hit the clearance rack first thing you go inside a store? -Cumulus_Max

My wife and I like the little dollar section as soon as you walk into Target. It’s crazy they put the impulse shopping at the beginning, usually its the end caps and aisles of check-out lanes, but they get us with it every time. But yeah, it only makes sense, you might find what you are looking for on the cheap.

hahah wtf @ The Last Boy Scout opening scene.  he shoots his way to the end zone and then kills himself. -inb404chan

That’s not even the best part. It’s “There’s six feet of mohagany desk between you and me right now; maybe I make it, maybe I don’t.  But if you say that to me one more time, we’re gonna find out.”  Best line of the movie, Damon Wayans made it work.

Would you go out with a girl that had a physical deformity? -SPippen458134

I dated a deaf girl for a while. She made some crazy noises during sex.  Imagine killing a 125 pound wild animal with your penis that laughs the entire time. Bad combination of distracting, disturbing and hilarious.

Did You Expect Your Wife to Change Her Surname? -Sandlotsoffun

I’m the last of my bloodline. So, I told her it was pretty important to me. She did.

What game(s) will you be playing over the weekend?  I’m going to try the new Street Fighter. -KAS321

I’m hoping to complete the GTA IV stunt jumps this weekend.  Probably some Show, also. LBP and 4 man co-op hockey when my friends come over.

DAMN GATOR CUT ME DOWN TO MY PRIME -pimpchimp

Just easing the tension, baby. Just easing the tension.

Imus has stage 2 prostate cancer.  Should I feel bad for this dick? -IndianDoug

Nappy headed Cheme-oes? Whatever you feel take into consideration that he does have a place for kids with cancer, I believe.  Granted, its a ranch that lets kids come slave for his property. You have the right to feel conflicted, surely.

Is Scrubs the best sitcom on TV? -BryanD1zzl3

I don’t have the time, want or bandwidth to list the amount of shows that are funnier than Scrubs.  Hermans Head was funnier than Scrubs.  Small Wonder was funnier than Scrubs.

Opening Day! How long will it take for fans to get over teh A-Roid situation? -nyyanks4live

Yankee fans? When he performs well, they’ll forget all about steroids.  Everyone else will never forget.

The What’s What, Volume 40

A-Rod should get no respect for admitting he used steroids, he only confessed because he was caught. -SoggyBoot

I agree. He had plenty of chances to some clean if he truly was regretful.  But, this certainly does make things easier for him in the long run.  I really enjoyed how he kept talking about why HOF voters should still vote for him, but that he doesnt really caare he just wants a championship. Plus, he tried to scapegoat his cousin.  Does anyone blame A-Rod less now that his cousin was involved?  He should have said “They were my mistakes, it doesn’t matter where I got them.” He really is fraudulent.

9/11 was made for TV.  If the attacks occurred on June 24th no one would refer to them as 6/24 but some ultra clever TV personality realized that 9/11 is like 911 and 911 is the # you call for emergency services. Plus the 11 can represent the towers on T shirts, bumper stickers, collectable coins etc… -Koleizzshun

Who knew terrorists had marketing degrees?

America wants the Middle East to have democracy, but when they do and elect Hamas, we kill them. -God_Foley11

It certainly is true we were hoping they didn’t elect people that would want to kill us.  But now that they have chosen who to represent them, we have to deal with them.

thoughts of salma hayek breastfeeding random african baby during recent trip? -billswillwin23

*Googles “African baby costume”*

Would you let Oscar the Grouch give you a BJ for $40? -Furnituremishandled

Sounds kind of rough.  Couldn’t I just jerk-off with a mitten, get the same effect, and keep my $40?

high school dropouts still screwd even with stimulas package, Id love to go to school but I dont have a gang.

I laughed out loud when I was forced to consider that high school dropouts care about the stimulus package. They chose their economic threshold way before the stimulus package dropped.

If you could go back in time to witness history, where would you go? -DoughBoy911

Jesus’ miracles, no other option even comes close.

How old were you when you played your first video game? -MeltsinMouth

Arcade game? I can’t remember.  Home console? I was 7 when the Atari came out, My dad brought one home with Bowling and combat. I played forever.

My Grandma just learned how to use the internet, and she keeps e-mailing me nudes of herself. I think she’s a member of senior swingers. -Hazytrain

Can I have her screen name? I’ll bring my bingo marker and some Sanka, it’s about to get nasty.