I’m bored. -Raven237
Boredom has all but been extinguished from my life because maturity has removed it, or cell phones, or a combination of both. I invented a new game out of boredom stuck in the situation that forced me to watch Family Feud on mute. I tried to decipher what the question was based on the answers popping up on the screen, like a Jeopardy Feud Remix or something, but that shit is hard. Not to mention completely imfuckingpossible when you need closed captions or someone to rewind a DVR to hear the question for any confirmation. It was like someone canaled the root of my brain. To this day, I dont know what they asked 100 people that made them come out with Candy Corn, Grandmothers, and Waterslides. The point is, I didnt have a phone, so I had to entertain myself. And Family Feud on mute wouldnt have done it for me as a kid. I would to have started wrestling chairs or something.
LOL Donald Sterling calls the deal off and will pursue his 1 billion $ lawsuit. holy fuck just go away old man. -Gr8Escape
All legal experts on whatever news program you are watching were all saying the same thing, and are all right. The answer is capital gains taxes. Since Donald Stirling bought the team for $40M in 1977, if he sells the team now for $1B, he’ll have to pay 33% of the profit, $960M for some $320M in taxes. But, if he dies and the team is bequeathed to his family, the valuation is readministered to the actual value the day the paperwork is filed. So the family is now on the hook for an estimated $850M base value, and when they sell it for $1B, they only have to pay 30% of the $150M in capital gains taxes for some $50M. There are an estimated $270M reasons why this shit will go on IN PERPETUITY. This legal battle will go on for the remainder of Donald Stirlings life, because he has the means and the system allows for it. He will win with his last act on Earth; by simply dying. Capitalism is the major reason the courts in USA are filled with frivolity and excess, not old ladies spilling coffee on themselves.
Ever take a dump in a public restroom with some dude in the stall next to you masturbating? Awkward. -TerminalRage
Yes, once. But, I assumed he was only fapping BECAUSE I was shitting, so I was flattered. But, now that I type that out it sounds awfully conceited. Now, somehow the whole episode seems a little unseemly.
Have you ever put your pillow in the freezer? -boatznpotahoes
Id have to eat a shitload of Toaster Strudels and pork chops and pierogies and ice cream sandwiches and chorizo and green giant veggie things and chicken breasts and waffles for me to be able to fit a pillow in there.
Have you ever run into someone you’ve masturbated to? Sometimes I jack it to friends of friends on Facebook because of bikini pics. Next day I have lunch with friend and her big tit friend (from facebook) joins in randomly. no one knows -TylerCartwright
The best part is when you fuck a girl youve fapped to several times. Once I figured out early in my fapping career that you could put anyone you wanted to in there, without their knowledge or consent, I used a lady from school in my head that shortly thereafter became my eventual sexy time girlfriend. It’s quite an amazing victory.
The US is responsible for much of the unrest in the middle-east. -MonsterEnergy
The USA has decided its in their best interests to sponsor fights between everybody else on the other side of the world. Seems kind of smart to me.
Thoughts on Fargo, the TV version? -BigButtsAndICannotLie
It was great. My wife and I enjoy it very much. Awesome writing, awesome acting. Its different from the movie, but similar in the parts that matter. Just enough reference to the source.Didnt get enough mainstream attention.
Fetishes you’ll never understand? FlagstaffMerc
By definition, all the ones I dont have.
I just ate a 9$ grilled cheese sammich. it tastes like a 35cent grilled cheese sammich you could make at home. I am disappointed to find out that a 9 dollar grilled cheese doesnt have like magic cheese in it or something. -Flatwe4r
Was it at a real restaurant or did you get gouged in some airport terminal or something? If youre ordering a $9 grilled cheese from a NYC restaurant, you are well within your rights to expect something a little fancier than a grilled cheese youd make for your kids. Like if you got a $9 grilled cheese at some stadium or fancy rest area, Id consider you lucky for getting real cheese.
Sometimes I feel like giving up with the ladies and joining the ranks of the forever alone. -ScrappleJac
Can I tell you about the time I alone approached 8 women at a bar table? I looked them all in the eye, introduced myself, and asked the 7th hottest one to dance. Her friends were floored. One of them gasped. The 7th hottest one TURNED ME DOWN. Her friends all essentially yelled at her and told her to get out on the floor with me. I stopped them from doing so. I said it would be awkward to dance with a woman who didnt want to dance with me. I thanked them all for their time, apologized for the interruption and said good night.
The hottest one stopped me. She said “Well, I want to dance with you. Will you dance with me?” I took her up on it and then she proceeded to dry hump me on the dance floor for 6 minutes. She scratched my neck, she grinded on my junk, she took my hands and put them on her chest and hips. I thanked her for helping me save face. She told me that she liked the way I handled the situation and gave me her number. I never called. Maybe I was saving my self the embarrassment of it being fake. Maybe I thought I couldnt live up to the bar I had set.
The moral of the story is to try. Outcomes different and maybe better than the ones youre banking on are possible.
The Whimsical MetaCognitionist Chronicles 