The What’s What, Volume 64

Your issues with the movie Watchmen would be best served by reading the graphic novel.  It was a movie for people who were fans, if you don’t like it, get the fuck out. -JoystickJesus

It’s the same thing with Harry Potter.  Movies are not 2 1/2 hour book commercials.  Movies should be able to stand alone.  If a normal person buys a ticket, pays attention, and leaves the theatre confused on any key point, then the movie has done a disservice to the paying customer.

I noticed you’ve been playing a lot of Fat Princess. What exactly is it?  Is it fun?  There’s no demo. -SeminoldTimer

It’s capture the flag only the flag is a princess that your make more difficult to carry by feeding her cake. Plus there is wizards, priests, warriors, rangers and worker classes to choose from at any point you wish during the game.  Hell yes it’s fun, a mix of button mashing mayhem and strategy.  (Anyone reading this with a PS3, please feel free to send a friend request to MetaCognitionist)

Do you think Bob Saget is funny? I think people only think hes funny because he used to be Mr Tanner and now hes saying bad words.  -MysticalOfficer

Saying shocking things does not necessarily make them funny.  His stand-up is worthless, but his acting is funny. He’s only funny when others write the funny for him.

Is Socom Confrontation the biggest failure of this generation? I mean seriously. Horrible at launch, released with only 8 maps, And still no MAP PACK, COD WAW has 3.   Still waiting for a patch to fix the famas and the clan ladders ,  Not even gonna talk about the inability to shoot out of windows and over rails…. and yet, with all this i played the game like hell for about 4 months, i just recently said fuck it i put it away.   Slant six fails so hard. -LegolassMan

SOCOM is pretty fail. Complete lack of single player or tutorial completely removes the fun for any rookies who haven’t played it.   Plus the installation and load times are shockingly ridiculous.   It’s the only game I have regretted purchasing this generation that’s for sure.

If Jesus had died 20 years ago, Christians would be wearing electric chairs instead of crucifixes. -Sharkaroo

Interesting point. I’m not sure he broke any of today’s laws, though.  Plus we would have visual record of him committing miracles.  I agree that someones method of death is a bad symbol for their lives, if that is your point, but I’m not sure it translates to today’s time.

Wait.. RadioShack is going to be called just “The Shack” now? Bad move.-GermanApologist

Really? You don’t think that the term “Radio” harbors a little bit of credibility issues for a cutting edge electronics store?

Imagine being the children of a porn star???-InfinityZero

I can’t decide what’s worse.  Being a teenage boy and completely mortified to look at porn in case you accidentally see your Mom catching a mouthful from 12 dudes in public.  Or having to deal with your friends that have.  Poor bastards.

Should cops be respected more than the average citizen?-Superdickery

Everyone deserves only the respect they earn. This goes for cops, strangers, your parents, everyone.

Do you usually laugh at your own jokes?  -ManJuiceLunatic

It’s okay to do so if you are being witty and making immediate jokes based on a situation that just happened.  If you write jokes for a living, argue over the proper wording in the writers room, and then laugh while telling them hours later, you are a failure. See Bill Maher, and Jimmy Fallon.

What are your impressions on the Batman: Arkham Asylum demo?-CockoldFart

Fun to play and looks nice. I particularly like the way the game visuals transform into comic book illustrations when you pause the game.  But yeah, there doesn’t seem to be much in the way of replayability, but I’m at least renting the game, for sure.

Oh Boo-fucking-hoo.  Cry about your  ex-girlfriend some more. Way to hold a grudge. –jasonnasojjason

I was asked a question.  I wanted to be clear that her having sex with someone else wasn’t really the problem.  It was that her attitude changed towards me,  she realized this and used me  instead of dumping me.   I’m certainly not holding a grudge against her.  I swear to God, it took me three days to remember her last name, and I’m still not convinced I remember it correctly.  Just because I know from previous experiences that I don’t like the kind of person she is, and we would not get along, doesn’t mean I’m holding a grudge.  It means I let history influence decisions.  I didn’t mean to come off sounding still wounded or anything.  Other people suck too, I’m not losing any sleep over them, either.

you do realize that religion only exists because it’s a trillion dollar industry, right?  -Soggypillow

Just like any other business, most money goes into advertising which never tells the truth.  They should run with something like “Catholocism: Subsidizing teenage nut juggling for over 1500 years.”

Do you think you could take a dump on a chick’s face if she asked you to? I was thinking I could, but not if I liked her and she knew any of my friends though. -DrayDizzle

Wait. Your crapping on a girls face and your worried about what your friends would think ABOUT YOU if she told them? Like you would be the one to be embarrassed in that situation?   “Oh yeah? Well, I’m gonna tell all your friends that you shit on my face! That’ll show you!”

Pepsi & Mountain Dew Throwback will return!! On facebook & twitter Pepsi announced the throwbacks will be making a comeback December 28-February 22.-DataLovesJordi

I loved them both, and will support their return with purchases.  If you are a perceptive reader, thanks for the heads up.  If you are a corporate shill googling where your products are mentioned and sending me a mail to pimp your shit, then fuck yourself with a Coke bottle.

How did your meteor shower night golf event thing go? -Crow754

Great, thanks for asking.  I lost but played well and the weather cooperated.  The group confirmed 8 meteors in 3+ hours.  The only bad thing were the mosquitoes.  It sucks being the only food source available for these bastards within the mile.

Wow, Youkilis really made himself look like a fool… Porcello looks smaller than him too. -CaptDrawers

They both looked foolish.  Porcello backing away with his hands raised leading Youkilis to Porcellos defenders is a bitch move.  But so is throwing your helmet and getting your momentum shifted by someone 40 pounds lighter than you.  It wasn’t a good thing for either of them.

Is Mad Men a good show? I’m interested in the new season, but I’ve never seen it.  -Illegalsubstance

Its in my top 5 right now.  You might want to Netflix the first couple of seasons. Not because the stories are so complex, Im sure you could piece it together. Its mostly awesome because of the sets, acting and the authenticity feel of the writing. I haven’t seen the new season so I’m not sure how much info you would need to follow along.

Have you ever used pages of the Bible or record sheaths as joint paper?-LifeofStrife

Yes. In a hotel while travelling cross country. We used Genesis because we figure everyone already knew that story.

The What’s What, Volume 62

If you jerk off and work out at the same time you will work out more as theres more adrenaline, you will orgasm alot harder from the sudden relaxation and you only need to clean yourself up once for two activities. -Dirty_Pants

Way ahead of you, I installed a fleshlight into my rowing machine. One of my greatest achievements.

Your opinion on Mopeds? -mayobacon

A buddy of mine had a few decked out as mini dirtbikes and we used to ride them around his families trails when we were kids.   I certainly wish they were more accepted. Cheap, safe, easy on the environment.

If you live in a small town, I say yes. Otherwise, no. Probably to dangerous to ride on the roads. Something you laugh about and don’t change any insurance information for in a car will kill someone on a moped.

Slumdog Millionaire’s story was just terrible. The movie was very well made, but the story just blew. -AuburnU99

Note to directors; just because you have a low budget does not make chases on foot as exciting as car chases. There’s less explosions. Thank you.  The first time I saw it, I was on a plane and didn’t have the sound. I thought it was a movie about marathons, there was so much god damned running.

Which is worse: Anime or wrestling? -CleanHarry

First off, I’m giving anyone 18 years or younger a pass on either of them. Kids can be into these without losing respect from me.

But for adults? Anime. Unfortunately, the stereotypes associated with anime are far worse than the stereotypes associated with watching wrestling. Plus, I know fans of wrestling who don’t take it seriously at all. The only people who claim to really enjoy anime without suspending disbelief or the “I’m just watching the technical aspects of the animation crowd” comes off as a horrible excuse to get off on tentacle porn.

If Jesus Christ offered you a hug right now, would you accept, Atheist? -NeoSkywalker

Passing up a hug from Jesus is like passing up a blow job from Isabella Soprano; you just don’t do those kinds of things.

See Watchmen yet?  Waiting for your take. -DJKwan&TheBiz

1.) Why are all these people caring about the death of an asshole? They show the Comedian just being a douchebag the entire movie. And everyone is sad when he dies. They show one little scene where he is drunk and presumably is regretful. I just don’t get it.

2.) How is Rorshach able to claim that “someone is killing off costumed heroes” after the Comedians death? It’s only one murder, not a serial killing. Also, if there was one Watchmen that made enemies, it looked like the Comedian was that guy. What as asshole he was. He deserved to be murdered by other Watchmen because he was giving them a bad name.

Good movie, but long. Needed more Ozymandias.

Hey, Elitist Atheist – How does it  make you feel to know that it was a Roman Catholic Priest who first proposed what we now call the “Big Bang” theory? -SmallPerformance36

I would wager that he was trying to prove God exists somehow.  But, why would finding truth bother someone, dependent on how they were trying to find it?   That’s doesn’t make any sense to me, personally.

Why does everyone from Boston think it is the greatest city ever? -AmandaHuggenkiss

It’s a beautiful coastal city where college aged girls are the number one demographic. Thanks to the dozens of gigantic colleges and half dozen or so girls only colleges. If you have never been, then I suggest you go before wondering why 99% of the people who have been there, loves it.

Would you agree that if someone is a High School Football coach, they’re a failure? -HomoforRomo

Depends on their ambitions. If they had dreams of coaching in the NCAA or NFL, then yes, they are failures.  If they just want to be a leader to young people and a pillar of the community, then they are not.  By my method, you would only know he’s a failure if he admitted it to you.

I miss the XFL. -TKornheisersbaldspot

That scramble at the beginning of the game for the ball instead of the coin toss was fucking BOSS.

If you don’t think Michael Vick has (more than) paid his debt to society then you’re just a racist.-LockBlock

If I (white) get sent to jail for 2 years on racketeering charges, you think my job is gonna let me back?

Rate Minnie Driver out of 10. -Barrelryder

She moderately cute. Nice boobies. In interviews her personality and accent makes her more attractive. Also, I was surprised how well she can sing. 8/10

Did you watch alot of TV when you were a kid? –Imnotalf

I watched Saturday morning cartoons and live sports with my Dad up until we got cable and Nickelodeon when I was 8, I think, then I watched that alot.  My sister and I watched A-Team and Dukes of Hazzard on Fridays too. But that was it. Couple hours a week.  Granted, there wasn’t much for kids on TV all day when I was a kid.  I wasn’t really into the Reagan/Mondale debates.

A Unicorn with a dildo on its head instead of a horn.  Dildocorn?  Uniporn?  Thoughts? -Sizzlean15

My thoughts are to call animal control.