The Whats What, Volume 35

So, its been a month since I’ve talk to my ex-gf of 2 years. And like 5 months since we broke up now. Is it weird that she has a new bf and all, but I still have the urge to call when I get plastered? I just wannna see how things are going, I have no shot at getting her back even if I really wanted to. -SaabLava

The only thing worse than letting her win, is letting her know that shes winning.

Winny or Topenga? Be the tie breaking vote in my fraternity survey. -KeggaBrew

Winnie in a landslide, Topanga was whiny and ugly.  I can’t believe that this is close.

If you lived in the Middle Ages, would you murder someone?  Would you do it if there were almost no chance of getting caught, no chance of even being suspected…would you do it to the person you hate the most? -zombeeviktim

Wouldnt I have to worry about retribution from Tarbashkor; God of Fire, Lambs Wool, and Premeditated Murder or something?

My grandfather is willing me his stamp collection, he claims it’s worth $30k. He’s got about 25-35 binders full of stamps from almost every country. He’s been collecting them since he was 10.   Thoughts?  -da-grebb

If you aren’t adding to the collection, sell it. When an emergency comes, you’ll get far less than the actual value because you’ll need the money immediately and have no time for collecting reasoned bids from interested parties.   The baseball card industry is almost wiped out, and with e-mail becoming more prevalent the stamp collection industry is struggling also. It was a hobby for old people, and is likely to die with his generation.

Do you HONESTLY believe the world will end in 2012? -PijjunEnglish

Nope. Unfortunately all the other doom sayers have turned the whole Armageddon thing into “the boy who cried wolf” for me personally.  If there really is a threat, Im unlikely to pay it any attention because I’ve been desensitized to the fear mongering.

Do you  know of any music stores that might carry keytars? -Fridgefeet

Congratulations on being the first person to ever wonder about that since 1992.  Much luck in your search. Remember to frost your tips after crimping them, not before.

If a god proved it’s existence to you personally, would you worship it? -rsieg23

I would thank him for his efforts, and ask him how I could repay him.  If he wants my effort of Sunday worship, he’ll get it. If he wants charity and tithes, he’ll get it. Maybe he just wants me to be a good person to others and enjoy his effort, I’ll do that too.

When Bumblebee got his voice back in the movie, he should have sounded younger. Sounded like an old ma. -PhilAnthropissed

That whole voice losing scenario was a complete trainwreck.  That, and the only black Transformer died, like it was a joke or something.  Character development was a consistent failure throughout the movie for me, personally.

The army recruiters just  called and my mom answered and instead of telling them I wasn’t here she had to be a dumbshit and give the phone to me so I just hung up. They heard me talking before I did it too. Am I going to jail? -BidzX420

While its good you aren’t wasting their time, you could have made it clear like a rational person.

there’s noththing cuter than your girlfriend wearing your clothes, amirite? -irulehyruleido

Agreed, I used to have a girlfriend who would change into my clothes the second she came over, football jersey and boxers.  Cute as hell.  One bitch robbed me of some of my best Eddie Bauer gear and the only way I found out it was her because her new boyfriend was wearing my stuff when I saw them together.   That **** REALLY pissed me off.

As it Turns Out, Transformers are Galactic Hippies

While trying to wrap my head around the Transformers movie plot line last night, and consistently failing, I noticed the profound psychological argument embedded in Transformers I had somehow missed when I was 7.  Quick review, so the AutoBots (Good Transformers) come to Earth to stop the Decepticons (Bad Transformers) from getting this super powerful cube.  Of which the main function of, apparently, is killing humans by transforming things into human killing robots.  From what I can understand, the only reason these robots exist on planet CyberTron is to either destroy or protect humans, some light years away, presumably.  Ones name is “BoneCrusher” for some reason.  Like they know what “Bones” are, and how desperatly they are in need of “crushing” on planet Earth.  Anyway, theres a big existential debate between the good robots and bad robots on if humans should live.  One wants to kill us (for seemingly no reason), and the other wants to protect us because we deserve the option of whether to live or die.  Optimus Prime (leader of good robots) claims he would gladly give his life to save our waaaaay underdeveloped species.  He is to humans, what Hayden Panittiere is to whales.  Hes the Alicia Silverstone, standing up for those who cannot, by throwing the red paint of justice and righteousness at the evil Megatron.  And while Optimus Prime has the job of War General, BumbleBee has the only job of helping the main character renegade the panties of the most popular chick in school.  Really, this is the plot.  Somehow, one of the transformers is black.  Get this, hes the only good robot to die in the movie.  I guess they really did their research.