The What’s What, Volume 62

If you jerk off and work out at the same time you will work out more as theres more adrenaline, you will orgasm alot harder from the sudden relaxation and you only need to clean yourself up once for two activities. -Dirty_Pants

Way ahead of you, I installed a fleshlight into my rowing machine. One of my greatest achievements.

Your opinion on Mopeds? -mayobacon

A buddy of mine had a few decked out as mini dirtbikes and we used to ride them around his families trails when we were kids.   I certainly wish they were more accepted. Cheap, safe, easy on the environment.

If you live in a small town, I say yes. Otherwise, no. Probably to dangerous to ride on the roads. Something you laugh about and don’t change any insurance information for in a car will kill someone on a moped.

Slumdog Millionaire’s story was just terrible. The movie was very well made, but the story just blew. -AuburnU99

Note to directors; just because you have a low budget does not make chases on foot as exciting as car chases. There’s less explosions. Thank you.  The first time I saw it, I was on a plane and didn’t have the sound. I thought it was a movie about marathons, there was so much god damned running.

Which is worse: Anime or wrestling? -CleanHarry

First off, I’m giving anyone 18 years or younger a pass on either of them. Kids can be into these without losing respect from me.

But for adults? Anime. Unfortunately, the stereotypes associated with anime are far worse than the stereotypes associated with watching wrestling. Plus, I know fans of wrestling who don’t take it seriously at all. The only people who claim to really enjoy anime without suspending disbelief or the “I’m just watching the technical aspects of the animation crowd” comes off as a horrible excuse to get off on tentacle porn.

If Jesus Christ offered you a hug right now, would you accept, Atheist? -NeoSkywalker

Passing up a hug from Jesus is like passing up a blow job from Isabella Soprano; you just don’t do those kinds of things.

See Watchmen yet?  Waiting for your take. -DJKwan&TheBiz

1.) Why are all these people caring about the death of an asshole? They show the Comedian just being a douchebag the entire movie. And everyone is sad when he dies. They show one little scene where he is drunk and presumably is regretful. I just don’t get it.

2.) How is Rorshach able to claim that “someone is killing off costumed heroes” after the Comedians death? It’s only one murder, not a serial killing. Also, if there was one Watchmen that made enemies, it looked like the Comedian was that guy. What as asshole he was. He deserved to be murdered by other Watchmen because he was giving them a bad name.

Good movie, but long. Needed more Ozymandias.

Hey, Elitist Atheist – How does it  make you feel to know that it was a Roman Catholic Priest who first proposed what we now call the “Big Bang” theory? -SmallPerformance36

I would wager that he was trying to prove God exists somehow.  But, why would finding truth bother someone, dependent on how they were trying to find it?   That’s doesn’t make any sense to me, personally.

Why does everyone from Boston think it is the greatest city ever? -AmandaHuggenkiss

It’s a beautiful coastal city where college aged girls are the number one demographic. Thanks to the dozens of gigantic colleges and half dozen or so girls only colleges. If you have never been, then I suggest you go before wondering why 99% of the people who have been there, loves it.

Would you agree that if someone is a High School Football coach, they’re a failure? -HomoforRomo

Depends on their ambitions. If they had dreams of coaching in the NCAA or NFL, then yes, they are failures.  If they just want to be a leader to young people and a pillar of the community, then they are not.  By my method, you would only know he’s a failure if he admitted it to you.

I miss the XFL. -TKornheisersbaldspot

That scramble at the beginning of the game for the ball instead of the coin toss was fucking BOSS.

If you don’t think Michael Vick has (more than) paid his debt to society then you’re just a racist.-LockBlock

If I (white) get sent to jail for 2 years on racketeering charges, you think my job is gonna let me back?

Rate Minnie Driver out of 10. -Barrelryder

She moderately cute. Nice boobies. In interviews her personality and accent makes her more attractive. Also, I was surprised how well she can sing. 8/10

Did you watch alot of TV when you were a kid? –Imnotalf

I watched Saturday morning cartoons and live sports with my Dad up until we got cable and Nickelodeon when I was 8, I think, then I watched that alot.  My sister and I watched A-Team and Dukes of Hazzard on Fridays too. But that was it. Couple hours a week.  Granted, there wasn’t much for kids on TV all day when I was a kid.  I wasn’t really into the Reagan/Mondale debates.

A Unicorn with a dildo on its head instead of a horn.  Dildocorn?  Uniporn?  Thoughts? -Sizzlean15

My thoughts are to call animal control.

The What’s What, Volume 37

Do you concur that the South American kid from Captain Planet had the lamest power? I mean, heart? WTF kind of lame power is that?  -Alihambra

I bet the intended demographic numbers had a lot of say on who got the short end of that straw. Which is ironic, because we all know how heartless Peruvians are.

Putting 2 hot dogs between 1 bun. Yay or Nay? -DaPragmatistHonor

Actually, I couldn’t give a louder more resounding nay.  I actually cut my hot dogs in half the long way and utilize one hot dog per 2 buns.  Especially at ball games.  I find a majority of hot dogs too thick, so the meat to bun ratio is far too high.  Your way is just finding a handle to eat two hot dogs straight up, and that is unacceptable to me.

If God actually created the Universe, at least there may yet be a point to life. Thats slightly more comforting as opposed to being born into existence to balance an equation out of science, that has no actual use for our being he -ABrazier202

God makes people believe there is something more to come after life. Which is great, because it makes for less competition when I’m trying to get things done on Earth.  Unfortunately for you, because something is “slightly more comforting” doesn’t make it truth.

I put ketschup on my eggs, my roomate thinks I’m weird because I do. He also thinks it’s weird that I like cold peanut butter so i put it in the fridge. -FowntenSoda

Sometimes, when I’m in the mood I’ll mix tobasco and ketchup together to dip my eggs in.  I do think peanut butter in the fridge is weird.  Seems like it would get difficult to spread and end up ripping the bread or whatever. I hate that.

Do you use lube during masturbation? Feels like someone´s giving you a handjob, or so I heard. -SamuraiChad

Someone is, you are.

Turns out my grandmother (who lives in the UK) had a stroke and is going to die. Luckily my dad knocked before coming in to tell me he’s flying out there, otherwise he woulda been in even more pain after seeing me jerking off to internet porn.  That really killed my boner -GabrielNino

To add to the uneasiness, Now nana can watch you shuffle knuckles from heaven.

When someone says that a Death or Black Metal band would sound better with a clean singer, I just laugh. It should be more accepted my mainstream teenagers.  Certain types of music go well with regular singing, while other types work better with aggressive vocals. I think the intense, evil feeling of it fits the music underneath it perfectly and makes it sound much more aggressive overall. I don’t like all growling/screaming vocals (for example, I dislike most Metalcore vocals), but in genres like Death and Black Metal, I think it’s great.  What don’t you like about it? -Xpert4551

SotD is about as hardcore as I get. If I have to strain to listen to the messages coming across from a vocalist, it distracts me from the music and the overall experience. What words I can decipher always seem to be about “evil in your soul” or other such nonsense.

Lucikly, it’s not like my distaste in your music makes it any less enjoyable to you, so why even care about how “accepted” it is by mainstream youth? I bet if it was more accepted, you’d be lamenting the fact that 13 year olds like the music you like, and how they can’t possibly understand its depth.

Bush’s farewell speech got to me, made me feel sorry for the guy, your reaction? -ElmundJoy

Looks like 6 years of piling on the guy, really made some people feel guilty.

Are you one of those Atheists want God stricken from inaugural oath and the Pledge? -npe1057

I agree with the feeling that it gives religious fundamentalist terrorists more propoganda material, that our government is religion based, and our negativity towards them has religious reasons.   Thats really the only reason I think it should be taken out.

where to hide my stash in the car? goin to a concert in nyc today. what’s a good place to stash -AdmiralMills19

Follow the dashboard underneath the steering wheel towards the pedals. There will be an opening with a little shelf under there, lodge it in some wiring as far back as you can towards the corners. Impossible to see, he pretty much has to know where it is.

do you think people in charge of busting pedophiles have alternate agendas? i could imagine some of those guys get off to roleplaying as a 14 year old girl and “busting child predators” is their socially acceptable cover for cybering. some of them probably get a subconscious pleasure from it, while others probably copy their favorite conversations on notepad for later. i just sense something unwholesome coming from the whole operation to be honest. -misterrubble

Absolutely, I do. People who specifically choose that branch of law enforcement, particularly. I have heard stories to people getting caught fapping to evidence and getting transferred. They got to say it was their choice to leave. “Sick of the worst type of people” is the most common excuse.

Movie scene that disturbed you the most? -Headbaggs

I literally lost sleep as a teenage after seeing the alien abduction scene in “Fire In the Sky”.

What do people mean when they say “drugs open your mind”? what the hell do they open your mind up to? Only drug I’ve ever done is weed and it just makes everything awesome. -Harvestfrg1

Consider what finding an instruction book for your mind would feel like.

Who do you think the most masturbated to person of all time is? -Mellsigot55

Gotta be Marilyn Monroe. The first super model, the first pin-up, the first sex symbol while TV and pictures could zip her around the globe, and very few girls could even compete with that kind of coverage.  Think about how the last episode of MASH is still the highest rated show of all time. Too many choices now.

The What’s What, Volume 36

Let’s say Tom Brady’s career is over today. Will he still be in the HOF? -KingMayker

16-0, 3 SuperBowls, MVP, TD Record holder?  Yes, first ballot.

What made you stop believing in God? -Chad_The_Hun

Remedial Cognition.  I kid, it just kind of added up over time.

I’m making chicken wings for lunch. What should I baste them with? -BBQball

Put them in a crockpot with ketchup, soy sauce, garlic, and grape jelly for a couple hours.  Then, prepare yourself to be amazed how fucking delicious they are.

Can a stripper make enough money between age 18 to age 25 to support her for life? -BereccaX

Just stripping? Very unlikely. High class hooker? Probabaly.

Prostitution and Marijuana; Basically, if any of the two are going to legalized, they must be both lucrative and productive for society (though it’s all really about revenue).  Which of the two benefits society more? -ARL95

Marijuana, hands down.  Farms would be created, regulatory committees, companies of new jobs to process and distribute.  Prostitution would need regulation on a much smaller scale.

they need to start making reverse skyscrapers. look like a small building on the surface but go 50 floors into the ground like a bunker…but awesome.  -ssobsivart

The view isnt as nice.

turn your keyboard over and hit the back side of it over some white paper. I just did this at my office and a bunch of skin flakes, eye lashes and some marijuana just fell out! wtf?! how did that get in there at work?! -CuriousExplorer

When I was moved into a new office I asked the tech for a new keyboard and he asked me why. I turned it over and shook it out on the desk, and he said “Gross. I’ll go get you one.”

A friend of mine is asking me if masturbating and then praying cancels each other out. Thoughts? -BigNeve23

He should go to confession so the priest can ask him to describe it in every detail.  All I can think of is that scene from Clerks 2, where the goodie-2-shoes kid is masturbating to the donkey show while crying and saying “I’m sorry, Jesus…” Hilarious.

Favorite Star Wars character? -CenturionRomanus

Either IG-88, the bounty hunting robot responsible for artificial intelligence, or Admiral Ackbar.

Michelle Obama quit her job, I bet Obama will want to quit when things get real. -notsodope43

I think if I had 4 years to tackle a meaningful social issue, Id quit my job to give it every effort I could, also.

HBO passed up Mad Men? WTF guys? It’s actually a really good show. It feels like I’m watching a long movie that I don’t want to end. I’m on the 7th episode of the fourth season right now. -bright_shadow

Though the show would be even more awesome with boobies and swearing, it does the job fine now.

How would a Doctor end a letter? Sincerely?  Regards?  Dr. Name, MD, or just Name, MD? -y_so_srs90

Forgery is tough, I know.

Would you listen to Hayden Panettiere’s music to have sex with her? You have to listen to every song she has ever sung BEFORE you can start even doing anything with her then it’s on when you’re doing whatever you want with her. -pensnteller11

Can I turn her down to her face if her music sucks that badly when I hear the first song?  Cause that might make it worth it if shes talentless.  As cute as she is, I really disdain crossover attempts.