The What’s What, Volume 45

Have you ever walked out on a movie? -HungrynIrish

Yes, once.  My sister and I walked out of Uncle Buck when we were kids.  We both looked at each other and knew without saying anything we were done with it.

I really like this girl, but I’m scared that she’ll turn me down. The only thing is, I won’t be able to keep living if she turns me down. My life will be ruined, there’s no one like her. She’s one of a kind. I found out what love really means by meeting her.  What should I do? Should I keep enjoying her friendship until she gives me more of a hint that she likes me? I’m guessing just to take things slow for now, any advice? -Titans23

As much as you’d like to think that your situation is special, it’s not.  Sure you can take things slow, but don’t wait for it to be too late.  Remember; Rejection lasts a day, regret lasts forever.

Lots of talk about the legalization of marijuana, whats you answer to opponents view that it would be bad because it would teach children that drugs are good? -SSMSSIV

If anything, the teachers would gain credibility in being able to concentrate on the drugs that actually harm people. Weed is a gateway drug because kids find out Marijuana isn’t as bad as everyone claims and is forced to wonder what other drugs they have been lied to about.

Police officers are the scum of the earth. They’re losers who couldn’t make it doing real work, so they became police officers to pretend they have power over normal people. All they do is harass teenagers and ticket speeders, yet they think it gives them the right to be giant dicks to anyone that questions them. -Jason_Jaguar

There are honest, nice guys and power-hungry shitcakers, like any other profession.

It’s important to know which one you are dealing with and modify your attitude accordingly. If you feed the power hungry with “Yes, sir” and act a little intimidated, he’ll most likely let you off with a warning. Don’t get roadside lawyer with these guys.

Nice cops you can treat like actual people, and they’ll respect you more for it. I find you can get roadside lawyer on these guys because they respect that you know your rights, much like they know theirs.

Power hungry people, in general, are among the most sickening types of people at all. When they are given a little power, it really can be problematic in any line of work.  When you have a co-worker get promoted at your work, you’ll see what I mean.

Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? -Ledgehead

They fight the same retarded confusion that prize fighters do.

What are your thoughts on Marylin Manson? -Cocksolid3

His music sucks, but the interviews I have witnessed conducted with him, leave me feeling that he is a thoughtful, intelligent person.  Which makes me resent him more, because it proves his act is just for shock value and attention whoring.

My g/f wants to start fingering my cornhole while I receive a BJ … large steamers come from that hole … she says I’m too close minded. Am I? -IsoGravity48

Girls hands get cold when giving oral. It’s just chivalrous of you to let her keep her fingers warm.

Why does Alison always end up in the bottom 3 when everyone claims shes such a great singer? -Definite_Johnson

I imagine its because teen girls vote for these people, and they are incredibly jealous of her, instead of being able to identify with her.

People like True Blood? -S1ZZl3an

I can only imagine the great numbers are boys Tivo’ing and watching it in fast forward for Anna Paquins boobies.  That’s got to be it.

This girl next to me in the computer lab occasionally has seizures. Anyway, I’m not sure what I should do. -HabelTower2313

Hold her down by the boobies, and when medical professionals arrive, take her purse. But, I’m no doctor.

You said you were anticipating Socom Confrontation, any good? -MizztahRadjas

I returned it within 24 hours due to the lack of a Single player anything, and the lack of being able to set up rooms by rank. How do they expect anyone to learn controls by throwing them into the middle of a war with people who have been playing the game for months?  Ridiculous. Maybe the game is fun, but I’ll never know because the developers literally gave me no chance to find out.

Snuggling is the best damn thing in the world. Such a great feeling. -Dutchessoffunk

I won’t allow my wife to use the terms “snuggling” or “cuddling”, she either has to say “melding” or “skin-fucking” to make it sound more awesome, and less flighty.

After 10 years….And my stepdad told my mom the reason he is leaving is because of me, he says he cannot live with me anymore. Which I think is total BS – BaggaDoosh

I’m gonna go ahead and be a jerk and blame your Mom. If I was in love with someone, I wouldn’t let their kids get in the way of my happiness.

Kat Dennings from Nick and Norah and Charlie Bartlett is my new obsession.  I want to marry her. -WCFHer0

Too bad looking at her forces you to wonder if she was born with a penis.  Other than that, she’s great, sure.

Where would you dump a body? -MCJarhead

Open water. They couldn’t even find those two gigantic football players, knowing the area they were in, who wanted to be rescued. Plus if they are bleeding or you bloodlet them a bit, animals will pretty much take care of everything for you.

There’s a girl at work that I’m into but she’s dating a another guy at work. I’m not friends with the other guy, but were cool with each other. Lately, they’ve (girl and coworker) been having relationship troubles (he’s suspected of cheating) and we’ve been flirting a lot more. I’m pretty sure she heard through someone else that I was interested in her. I asked if she wanted to hang out one night after work and she said yes. But now I’m having second thoughts on pursuing this any further because the other guy is pretty cool and hasn’t really done anything wrong. -DellsKitchen

I have found that when I was in this situation, I would just ask the dude if its okay. They are always waaaay to proud to say it would bother them. So they have no reason to be pissed after you plow her. Enjoy, guilt free.

The What’s What, Volume 42

Who would win in a fight, the Hamburgler or Grimace? I think I’m going to have to side with Grimace on this one because he looks more fierce -Boboozol00

Though Grimace has a huge weight advantage, he’s got tiny tyrannosaurus arms of which he can’t even use to scratch his own nuts, if he had any.  Plus, the hamburglar has prison experience, I bet he fights dirty. I’d say Hamburglar weasels out of Grimaces tiny reach and shivs the purple blob in his back with a spork or happy meal toy, whichever is more dangerous this week.

Familiar with the show “Charmed”?  Ever watch it? -Closetdweller

Ill be flipping channels and stop on it because the girls are hot.  Then they’ll say something completely ridiculous like “But I thought the Amulet of Hamsammich vanquished him to the netherworld months ago.” and I’ll laugh openly and change the channel.

Favorite chess piece? -GMBrody99

Every time I see a different artists version of a chess board, it seems the bishop is the most open to interpretation and modification.  I like variety, so I’ll go with the bishop.

If weed was legalized would you smoke it more, or roughly the same as you do now? BossFoley4

My habit is pretty set, but I would smoke more if it were legalized, if only to cancel out the times that I have problems procuring it.

Michael Cera finally onboard the Arrested Development movie — it’s a go!  -MasterofScience

It’s nice of Michael Cera to throw a bone to a dozen of the least talented actors in Hollywood today. I mean, if this hadn’t happened for them, they have no other slightly popular projects to grasp at in hopes of getting work.  I’m looking at you, David Cross.

What makes you think you’re so cool? -WhatRichWhat

The fact that I don’t care whether I’m cool or not.

Why all the hate for Juno? -pantlessninja

It’s a movie written by a porn actress failure who stole her best friends problem in high school, exploited her issues, added in an abortion angle to get the movie edgy and controversial, and never gave a dime to the woman who lived the life.  What’s there to love? I’ll never see the movie, and talk badly about the author any chance I get.

Does anyone think LARPing might be kinda fun? Not all taken to the nerd extreme where you think it’s real and never break character or whatever….but I think running around and fighting with swords and stuff would be pretty fun. -12ptbucknaked

I would rather go to a renaissance fair. Some women throw down in haystacks at the drop of a hat if you are in character and costume. Even the slightest flirting has been met with a handy. Or so my friend swears. Plus, the costumes seem more comfortable.

Any ideas how to get my gf to open up to anal?  No pun intended.  -StoneJohnson

If you are having sex with her already, it’s easy. Gonna take a couple sessions. Let her be on top. While shes bouncing on your boystick, reach around and spread her ass cheeks. Circle your middle finger around her anus while shes working on orgasm, she’ll be too busy to say anything. Do this for two or three sessions. Advance on the situation by slowly introducing a fingertip in there. A session later, a knuckle. A session later two knuckles. She’ll pretty much be down for it at this point. Of course a lot of girls think if you like the ass, its because you like pounding dudes. Just a heads up.

If you sleep with a cousin of a cousin, is that incest?  I say it’s not because there is no genetic relation. -H4xsawTim

No blood? Good to flood.

I honestly find it impossible to not believe in ghosts, especially when there’s so many eyewitnesses out there who have seen ghosts first-handed. I know a lot of people have told me they’ve seen or experienced some kind of supernatural event, and these people are honest people, who would have no reason to lie, and definitely aren’t the crazy-type.
Even my parents and grandparents told me they’ve seen ghosts, and hell if they would lie about something like that.
So, what’s your take on this? -KSJayCock

It all boils down to people believing in what they want to believe in.They got scared, and don’t want to admit to themselves they allowed themselves to get all worked up over the reflection of moonlight off a window or something.
It sounds like you are insinuating that everyone doesn’t believe in ghosts until they see one and then become converts, where I offer that those who believe in ghosts already are more likely to claim they saw one.