The What’s What, Volume 49

Little Jacob was the best NPC in GTA4 -SupahVillunn

Him and Packie were my two favorites. Alot of people were Brucie Boosters, I never really got that. LJ’s guns were the best perk of anyone, though, by far.

If you wear a cannabis leaf shirt or other weed related clothing garments, you need to get a life. seriously, how pathetic must you be for weed to become such a key part of your personality that you have to alter your fashion sense to suit it.  -LoltheDice

So, by your logic, we’re not allowed to wear clothing promoting sports teams or bands, or wolf shirts, also, right?

Seriously, has there been a nation in history who has done LESS to be proud of than Norway? My GF’s parents are Norwegian, and they’re all about stupid Norwegian heritage crap, they love to make fun of Swedes and other Scandinavians, they eat weird Norwegian food (Lutefisk, Lefsa), and other stupid **** like that.  Seriously, don’t they realize that there’s NOTHING cool about being Norwegian? -MarkareshExpress

They descend from Vikings, among the best ****-talkers in history.  Its in their blood.  Everyone is allowed to be a little proud of their heritage I suppose.

So since Chad Ochocinco wants out, what happens if that team already has a number 85? -AlbinoGorilla

Dunno, be even better if the Bengals kept him and changed his number to 11.

Best donut at Dunkin Donuts? -Flank.Roast

Blueberry Cake. I also like their toasted coconut and the chocolate creme filled.

My prom this weekend, is going to be great.  It ends at around five in the morning, which is the perfect time to ditch everyone, drive out to the east side of town, and find a spot overlooking the advancing floodwaters.

Humongous body of water? Check.
Thrill of possible danger it can cause? Semi-Check.
Sunrise glistening over the ripples, radiating outwards and creating a halo over her cornstalk blonde hair? Check.
Condom? Check

Sex is so much better when its done outside in front of a sunrise.  -shammy2012

“I’m so glad its just you and me here, overlooking the massive amounts of property damage and countless drowned domesticated animal carcasses floating about…. Just makes you want to take your pants off, doesn’t it?”

Would you accept a clone of yourself as a son or daughter instead of a normal child? -.J.

Yes. I’d be able to give myself a head start on the things I succeeded at, theoretically enhancing who I could be.

Do you believe waterboarding is torture? -DomoNique

Well, it sure isn’t foreplay.

Do you eat the pieces of bread at the top and bottom of a loaf of bread? BeaverEater

Nope, they are either used to make cookies soft or bird food.

have you ever stopped being friends with a girl because she wouldnt date you? i’m asking because this has happened to me like 3 times in the past 4 months. -MizzJayden

Me?  No, not personally. But don’t blame them, they are just the honest ones. Easy to prove. Offer all of your guy “friends” a sexual encounter.  They will say “Yes, please.”

Bob Dylan, as a musician, is severely overrated. -RorshachGimmick

He’s an awesome guitarist and lyricist, not so much a vocalist.  He had a lot to do with the social revolution of his time period, which probably would make him seem overrated to the kids of today.  Because the older crowd reacts to his music the way they do. Nostalgia and experience can’t be passed from generations.

The What’s What, Volume 44

Don’t you hate video news stories on sites? If I want to look up news I want to read it, I don’t want to wait for a video to load, see an ad, watch all the boring stuff, etc. I want to be able to read it, skim through to an important part, or just click back if the story wasn’t good.  . -Raistlin666

Absolutely, its one of the reasons I pay for a news site.  That, an no ads or sponsors to hinder stories based on ratings. If I wanted to watch the news, I’d turn on the TV.

Have you ever listened to a bulgarian song? -BuckWalid

Unlikely, unless they snuck one into GTA:IV’s “Chernobyl” station.

Nevada just put a state tax on cigs and it’s about 6 dollars for a pack now. I’m not a real smoker but I went to a pool hall with some friends tonight and we like to have a few cigs while we drink and play pool. So I picked up a pack for all us to share and it was freaking 6 dollars. it used to be 3.50. The cashier told me it’s going up to 7 dollars a pack august 1st. I feel bad for the every day smokers who pound through a pack a day. I realize the government needs money but if they put cig companies out of business aren’t more people going to lose their jobs? -she_bay_bee

I suggest buying cartons online. I used to get my Parliament Lights with Russian warnings on them, but they tasted the same and cost like 1/4 of the price. I just kept a carton or two in the freezer. They probably had lax regulations in Russia, but I rationalized that by smoking any kind of cigarette anyway. Like cigarettes in America are healthy or something?

Im hitting .175 with my RTTS guy in The Show after 63 at-bats. Why did they make hitting so damn hard. Makes me want to stop playing. Everything is just a weak ground ball. -Mass_FX

Yeah, just try and get through spring training. Once you get in the minors you’ll do okay. You are a rookie fresh out of highschool, trying to hit Jake Peavy and Tim Lincecum. Don’t get too discouraged.

do you hit the clearance rack first thing you go inside a store? -Cumulus_Max

My wife and I like the little dollar section as soon as you walk into Target. It’s crazy they put the impulse shopping at the beginning, usually its the end caps and aisles of check-out lanes, but they get us with it every time. But yeah, it only makes sense, you might find what you are looking for on the cheap.

hahah wtf @ The Last Boy Scout opening scene.  he shoots his way to the end zone and then kills himself. -inb404chan

That’s not even the best part. It’s “There’s six feet of mohagany desk between you and me right now; maybe I make it, maybe I don’t.  But if you say that to me one more time, we’re gonna find out.”  Best line of the movie, Damon Wayans made it work.

Would you go out with a girl that had a physical deformity? -SPippen458134

I dated a deaf girl for a while. She made some crazy noises during sex.  Imagine killing a 125 pound wild animal with your penis that laughs the entire time. Bad combination of distracting, disturbing and hilarious.

Did You Expect Your Wife to Change Her Surname? -Sandlotsoffun

I’m the last of my bloodline. So, I told her it was pretty important to me. She did.

What game(s) will you be playing over the weekend?  I’m going to try the new Street Fighter. -KAS321

I’m hoping to complete the GTA IV stunt jumps this weekend.  Probably some Show, also. LBP and 4 man co-op hockey when my friends come over.

DAMN GATOR CUT ME DOWN TO MY PRIME -pimpchimp

Just easing the tension, baby. Just easing the tension.

Imus has stage 2 prostate cancer.  Should I feel bad for this dick? -IndianDoug

Nappy headed Cheme-oes? Whatever you feel take into consideration that he does have a place for kids with cancer, I believe.  Granted, its a ranch that lets kids come slave for his property. You have the right to feel conflicted, surely.

Is Scrubs the best sitcom on TV? -BryanD1zzl3

I don’t have the time, want or bandwidth to list the amount of shows that are funnier than Scrubs.  Hermans Head was funnier than Scrubs.  Small Wonder was funnier than Scrubs.

Opening Day! How long will it take for fans to get over teh A-Roid situation? -nyyanks4live

Yankee fans? When he performs well, they’ll forget all about steroids.  Everyone else will never forget.

The Whats What, Volume 11 (GTA IV special)

No planes in GTA IV.  We’ve been grounded – Todd_Easter

Yeah, I was disappointed when I heard this too.  But now that I play, Im not missing it all that much.  Would the game be enhanced with planes and parachutes?  Yes.  Am I playing happily without thinking about the missing planes and parachutes?  Yes.

I enjoyed all the empty space San Andreas had. It was a nice break from the Urban Environments. Nothing like driving in the desert as the sun set, while listening to Free Bird.  Some of the Desert and even the mountain/forest area were just cool to cruise through. Made it actually feel like it was a real world. -blading2001

I couldnt agree more.  Completely disheartening to know that enough chuckleheads needed constant action to whine about ruined my ideal of fun.  If you were out in the middle of nowhere and smashed your ride, YOU SHOULDNT HAVE SMASHED YOUR RIDE, ASSHOLE.

I still remember my most guilty pleasure from GTA3 I would use a cheat where all peds had weapons and they were also hostile then i would just sit back or drive around and watch the carnage i still remember when this one chick in a skirt wasted a cop car driving by with a rocket launcher -shyguy5454

I liked gambling on horses.  Still do, in fact.  I also suggest filling a bus with gang members and driving it off Mount Chiliad. They scream like little girls one by one as they get off the bus into a free fall.  Hilarious.

What’s your favorite radio station?  – Kyoot_Hilly

My stats claim Journey as my favorite radio station.  I listen to Radio Broker, The Jazz Stations (Fusion particularly) and Journey.  Journey gets a bad rap, but I think its great driving music.  It doesn’t drown out the sound effects and the voices of NPC’s.   Also, if you are in a cab and change the station, the way Niko asks is great;  “uhhhh, I don;t want to be trouble, but can we listen to something else, my friend?  I WANT to HEAR Juuuuurrrrrney.”

Which version are you getting?  I don’t care DLC because Im sure all versions will have some sort of exclusive downloadable stuff in the future. – HazzardUSS

Though the XBox Achievements looks pretty cool, I decided to run with a PS3 for a few reasons.  Blue Ray DVD player for my new 52″ Flat screen, the friends I want to play with have PS3. (Save one important exception whos lady friend thought systems were the same and got him an XBox.  Hes not unhappy though, we’re not Sony Fanboys or anything) im familiar with the controller, and I am pretty interested in PSHome to drop round Christmas.

Detailed chronology of your plans for 4/29/08.  Go.  – the_future420

8a-5pm = work
5-5:05 = 2 bonghits
5:05-6pm = Around the Horn and PTI
6pm-7pm = Dinner (Homemade Chinese food)
7pm-11pm = Nap
11-11:30 = more bonghits
11:30-Mid = BlockBuster for game
12:15am-8pm Tuesday- GTA:IV and bonghits

I took Tuesday off of work to play the game all day.  Also, I pre-ordered the game at BlockBuster.   I showed up 10 minutes before midnight.  Was first in line.  Meanwhile Gamestop, less than 800 yards away had a line of at least 100 people.  A lot of stores re-opened at midnight, yet all I heard about was Gamestop, like the game was better from there or something.  I even got a free picture frame with Nikos picture inside.

New driving, Buy or Sell? cause it seams like the diving gets knocked the most and IMO the driving is great and much improved over past Gtas -jewbacca32

Ill be honest, I was worried it had ruined the game at first.  Now, I legitimately enjoy the challenge.  Its better than SA for sure.  Makes racing on-line fun, also.  And it is the main reason I now consider GTA no longer a game, but a simulator to avoid police capture.  Combine realistic driving with better cop AI, factor in the tactics you need to use to lose the cops, and this is no longer a game in my eyes.  BUY.

It is absolutely incredible.  I mean .. It’s so amazing that I took a cab to my next mission, it was like an 8 minute ride, and I didn’t rush the cab driver (thats an option). I just stared out the window and appreciated a living, breathing city.  Sorry, but just had to get it out there.  -Albino_Ferret

Taxis are great, they let me get to your destination in the amount of time I desire, with no hassle from the cops, while I learn about the city as I’m packing my bong!  Romans cab service is better even, because the poor guy astutely ridicules you for the entire trip!

For us Eastern European guys, GTA IV is heaven Finally a game we can relate too.. seeing the Albanian mob in the game is awesome!  San Andreas sucked balls.. worst theme ever -Negativiteen

In GTA 4, Game plays you!  Finally, a poster of someone other than Vlade Divac on Serbian bedroom walls everywhere.  Congrats to all of you.

The TV shows in GTA IV are amazingly funny. Such creativity, you can actually sit there and watch them for a long period of time haha. -Babedlam

Republican Space Rangers, for the win.  When they shot the tentacle off the purple octopus with the light bulb on his head offering  peace, I almost fell out of my chair. My friends and I have a controller rotation going. I get three mission attempts, safe house to save, watch TV while we all take a bong hit, hand the controller to the next man for his three missions.  The TV keeps us all well entertained.

GTA4: Brucie or Patrick. I can’t decide Which character do you like more?  -Orangepeel

Brucie is irritating.  Packie seems to run things effeciently, plus I feel like I am part of his family and he’ll never turn on me.  Patrick, in a landslide.

Do you stop and pay the tolls in GTA4? I did at first, now I just haul ass and outrun my wanted level. Eat that toll booth guy!! -OKSteerChalupa

Yeah, Im embarrassed to admit that I do.
I like squeezing to the front of the line and honking at the bastard standing at the open gate.

What’s your PS3 multiplayer name? -Nizbart

Metacognitionist.  Feel free to add me to your friends list, anyone.

Stay well in Liberty City, all!