The What’s What, Volume 55

Where do you buy your clothes? PhilbinAddict

Marshalls, TJ Maxx, GAP, Eddie Bauer, Lands End, LL Bean. Thats it. Always.

Gay high school kid named Prom Queen, thoughts? -FoleynJackin12

I don’t think it’s all that cool that he took away the pinnacle moment of some vapid teenage girls life for the lulz. I don’t really care though. At least he’s not reinforcing negative stereotypes or anything.

Do you like cold pizza? -Meyerheimer

Yes. But I find some pizza is actually better the day after out of an oven. Dominoes for one, is better heated up the day after than when they bring it to you, somehow.

I got confirmed today! -SandyKoufaxsprostate

Congrats, now you get to confirm that Father Larrys penis tastes delicious.

What do you think of girls that wear Converses with formal dresses? -OnCloud8

Hey look at me! I’m being individualistic by conforming to what everyone else is doing! Flip flops and high heels are the only appropriate choices.

Do you care if other people do drugs? -Tunapurrito

To an extent. Depends on the drug. Harder drugs like PCP, Meth, crack, and heroin have real social problems associated with them. My tax dollars pay to help get them off of the mistakes they have made. Which I don’t mind as long as the treatment works.

But mostly I have problems with people who have never tried drugs making broad accusations about the effects of them on the user and society. If anything, I have a problem with people NOT doing drugs and then forming an opinion on them based on some propaganda a cop who can’t handle a beat came to their school with.

WHY IS IT WHEN YOU’RE AT THE BEACH HOT WOMEN NEVER TAKE OFF THEIR BRA’S TO TAN BUT FAT WOMEN DO -METROIDRAGE

How else are they compete for attention with hot girls wearing bikinis? Plus, put a rubber band thats too small around your thigh. That stuff hurts.

Did you throw your cap in the air for HS graduation? -MinimusRex

Hell yes, I ripped the tassle off and frisbeed the fucking thing as hard as I could at my dean, sitting on stage. It came about three feet from slicing off his head. It hit an empty folding chair loudly and I laughed my ass off. I looked up, grabbed a cap nearest to my head size and returned it.

Are you people so simple-minded, uncultured, ignorant, and boring that your favorite foods are things like pizza, hamburgers, burritos, and macaroni and cheese? Like not even specific preparations, just those foods in GENERAL?
How can your favorite food be a burrito from Chipotle? Do you not realize how much awesome food there is out there?
YOU CAN DO BETTER CHILDREN -AsianChildKing

A lot of these foods are comfort foods, and are just labeled as favorites because of the nostalgia and warm and fuzzies they get when considering them.

Also, there’s nothing wrong with chain foods. Paid expert chefs are modifying ingredients to better showcase their food. A lot of science goes into making chain foods good tasting, which a Mom and Pop restaurant can’t compete with. Just because ingredients are fresher or more wholesome does not mean that the food is guaranteed to come out better.

The bladder does not help with water retention, once liquid is in it, it does not return up the ureter to the kidneys. Is it a scent marking adaptation? Is it used as an end point for urinary tract infection? What evolutionary pressure forced us to stop peeing anytime we needed to? -jdawg256

I’m going to assume this is a veiled argument of creationism, so I’ll say; Why do Muslims have bladders? If God created everyone in his image, why would Muslims have bladders? Unless you are saying that God is a Muslim, and that’s not gonna go over well at all at your next Bible study meeting.

How can you sneak prescription drugs on a plane if they’re not in your name? -PlayorDie

Buy a pill organizer, the kind with the days on it. Fill it up. Claim you need them to live. Go on your trip.

Did you get to see Will Ferrells “Survivorman” episode? -Nationalsfan18

I still cannot believe what they did with those two buried sticks.  That was mayhem right there. Ron Burgandy has brass balls.

Have you heard of this anti-rape implant for women?  “Rape-axe”? -HomelessDepot

Which is why I always test my rape victims with a finger first.  Gotta beware of that vagina sarlaac.  But seriously, it seems like a sad state of affairs when this needs to even be considered.

wtf mate!?? i’ve never been in an office where they make you buy your own coffee. this is an outrage! they should have told me this during the interview! -MormanNailer

Buy a coffee machine. It certainly would ingratiate yourself to the new co-workers.  Ask the boss beforehand if it’s okay you do so, maybe he’ll give you the company card.

Keeping count of how many girls you have had sex with is like counting of many drinks you have had. Only pussies count. Real men just keep going. -Blutowannabe

The only difference is when you go to drink a beer, its not mad if you’ve had a dozen more previously in your life.

The Whats What, Volume 35

So, its been a month since I’ve talk to my ex-gf of 2 years. And like 5 months since we broke up now. Is it weird that she has a new bf and all, but I still have the urge to call when I get plastered? I just wannna see how things are going, I have no shot at getting her back even if I really wanted to. -SaabLava

The only thing worse than letting her win, is letting her know that shes winning.

Winny or Topenga? Be the tie breaking vote in my fraternity survey. -KeggaBrew

Winnie in a landslide, Topanga was whiny and ugly.  I can’t believe that this is close.

If you lived in the Middle Ages, would you murder someone?  Would you do it if there were almost no chance of getting caught, no chance of even being suspected…would you do it to the person you hate the most? -zombeeviktim

Wouldnt I have to worry about retribution from Tarbashkor; God of Fire, Lambs Wool, and Premeditated Murder or something?

My grandfather is willing me his stamp collection, he claims it’s worth $30k. He’s got about 25-35 binders full of stamps from almost every country. He’s been collecting them since he was 10.   Thoughts?  -da-grebb

If you aren’t adding to the collection, sell it. When an emergency comes, you’ll get far less than the actual value because you’ll need the money immediately and have no time for collecting reasoned bids from interested parties.   The baseball card industry is almost wiped out, and with e-mail becoming more prevalent the stamp collection industry is struggling also. It was a hobby for old people, and is likely to die with his generation.

Do you HONESTLY believe the world will end in 2012? -PijjunEnglish

Nope. Unfortunately all the other doom sayers have turned the whole Armageddon thing into “the boy who cried wolf” for me personally.  If there really is a threat, Im unlikely to pay it any attention because I’ve been desensitized to the fear mongering.

Do you  know of any music stores that might carry keytars? -Fridgefeet

Congratulations on being the first person to ever wonder about that since 1992.  Much luck in your search. Remember to frost your tips after crimping them, not before.

If a god proved it’s existence to you personally, would you worship it? -rsieg23

I would thank him for his efforts, and ask him how I could repay him.  If he wants my effort of Sunday worship, he’ll get it. If he wants charity and tithes, he’ll get it. Maybe he just wants me to be a good person to others and enjoy his effort, I’ll do that too.

When Bumblebee got his voice back in the movie, he should have sounded younger. Sounded like an old ma. -PhilAnthropissed

That whole voice losing scenario was a complete trainwreck.  That, and the only black Transformer died, like it was a joke or something.  Character development was a consistent failure throughout the movie for me, personally.

The army recruiters just  called and my mom answered and instead of telling them I wasn’t here she had to be a dumbshit and give the phone to me so I just hung up. They heard me talking before I did it too. Am I going to jail? -BidzX420

While its good you aren’t wasting their time, you could have made it clear like a rational person.

there’s noththing cuter than your girlfriend wearing your clothes, amirite? -irulehyruleido

Agreed, I used to have a girlfriend who would change into my clothes the second she came over, football jersey and boxers.  Cute as hell.  One bitch robbed me of some of my best Eddie Bauer gear and the only way I found out it was her because her new boyfriend was wearing my stuff when I saw them together.   That **** REALLY pissed me off.