The What’s What, Volume 87

one of my favorite role models, Mr. Don Draper can’t get through a single meeting without not 1 but 2 old-fashioned’s. I decided to try this drink last night and three in I was all “damn son!”  so I’ve deduced that to succeed in advertising, one must be three sheets to the wind. -OffenseSupplied

He makes his paycheck on wasted epiphanies and drunken poetry.  He’s like Charles Bukowski in a suit.

Corn Pops are an underrated cereal.  -killathenulla

They get soggy too quick. I like them dry.  But, they also get stale quickly, which is what I always assumed the special foil bag was for.  So, I don’t have them that often. Either in those tiny one serving boxes or at a friends house.

NYC does this annual thing called restaurant week. It’s as pretentious as it sounds. For 35 bucks a head you get app, entree, and desert at any participating place. The main course I went with was called a “filet migon”. It was a “filet medallion” topping out at THREE oz.  I don’t mind dropping $100 bucks on dinner (if im getting laid) but I sure as shit want to get my money’s worth and NOT leave hungry. –Latticegrid

Well, we definitely made smaller portions for the restaurant weekers here in Boston. Maybe it’s a specifically Boston thing here, but it’s like $20 and you are supposed to go to 2-3 restaurants a night.  It’s a tasting event round here, anyway.  Some restaurants see it ass the chance for bringing business back to the restaurant, while others almost seem to feel like it’s a charity event, and your simply giving the littles a taste of the good life.   Which I not only disagree with, but also get offended by.

Did you hear about that guy in China that padlocked his kid to a parking meter as child care? -goodlucky7

Different countries, different customs.  If  he is a loving father with his familys best interest at heart and really thinks thats the best way to keep his family safe, then I can’t argue, and won’t judge.

You watching the Olympics?  I know you enjoyed Beijing.  Just watched the Ceremonies or competition also? -CanadiAnne

I am, and very much enjoying it.  I particularly enjoyed the Opening Ceremonies and the six minutes of awkwardness watching Steve Nash and Wayne Gretzky stall while giant ice dildos/breadsticks waved around haplessly.  Nows a good time to mention that I went searching for an American Opening Ceremonies hat, only to find out they are asking $75 for the bastard.  After much consideration, I went on the internet expecting and willing to pay $40 for one, and they doubled my offer.  Oh well, maybe  after the Olympics they’ll come down.  Also, I can’t believe how often they keep showing the video of that luge guy dying.  It’s pretty rare for American media to show someone dying, and certainly not as graphic.  It’s a good thing it wasn’t an American who died, or NBC wouldn’t have this awesome video to exploit over the next two weeks.  I mean, anyone who wants to see it can find it on the internet, and this is supposed to be family programming, but they insist on replaying this like its Sarah Palin writing on her hand. Crazy.

I know its late and you skipped blogging about the Super Bowl this year, but what did you think of The Who as the halftime show? -OfficeMaxwell

I thought it was alright.  I really enjoyed how they used the whole field for a stage instead of having a bunch of people willing to look happy cause they were on TV jump around like retards for 15 minutes. The band did look worn and borderline loungey at times. I’m certainly not a fan of the elderly rock band half time show factory the Super Bowl halftime has become.

You seem to be pretty anti-American. Why don’t you just get the fuck out? -maroonunit

I’m not anti-American, I’m anti-Capitalism.  I am a globalist, but that doesn’t mean you don’t get to take pride in your country.  But sometimes, its difficult to defend my statesmen.  In my experience, the people that say “Well, then they should learn our language” are the same people that will teach foreigners trying to learn English wrong definitions to be hilarious.  There’s a  lot of inconsiderate people in this world complaining about inconsiderate people, and that’s completely indefensible.

I tried to understand black holes, singularities, spacetime, etc, and it just made me feel stupid.Last night, I was on wikipedia reading about the origins of the moon and I ended up reading stuff about spacetime and singularities and black holes and the big bang and accretion. I’m a pretty intelligent guy, but what the fuck? That shit made me feel like a downright moron. -FirstLyric

I was in the same boat until I discovered Neils DeGrasse-Tyson. He totally boils these things down into analogies I can understand. I highly recommend his books, or TV show, Nova Science Now.  There’s also an Asian astrophysicist whos good at it too. Michio something.

The What’s What, Volume 47

Allison Iraheta from American Idol is very cute. Agree? -ztuntz

I couldn’t disagree any more.  She looks like Miss Piggy to me.

Is it just me, or is the intro to Pineapple Express trying to send a message to people? Although I cannot agree more, I think the herb makes everything so much better, for me its like the ultimate anti-depressant. But, the problem with feeling good all the time is that it tends to have the effect of making people take down their defenses. Smoking weed gives me the mindset of opening up to people and having the urge to want to help others. That’s what the entire hippie generation was all about. But, the problem is, when we take down our defenses and all we try to talk about is a peaceful Utopian society, it can get us killed. Enemies would completely ignore our plea for a peace, and they will do what every dominating species does, try to control us.  -psychicnewt

Great example of the other issue of smoking pot, “Over-thinking comedy movies”. Well illustrated, sir.

Freedom Tower renamed “One World Trade Center”.  Thoughts? -DZDeere

Good. Crashing those planes into the towers was just saving us having to tear them down to improve the lot. Let them think that.

Should “Under God” be removed from the pledge? -DonFlamenc0

I think it should be removed because it gives terrorists the impression that we are fighting Holy Wars with them. If you have ever seen terrorist propaganda, they reference the Pledge, the inauguration, and are court system of using bibles to uphold truth as evidence that we hate Muslims and the Islamic religion.

“I love you. I just thought I’d throw that out there.”
We’ve only been together for about 6 months.
I just replied being like “You can’t say that through a text! You’re drunk anyway. Tell me again when you’re sober.”
To which I was asked whether it would even be accepted anyway or is it too early to be saying such things.
I haven’t replied. How awkward. -Polishgnocci

Text back; “Love has no minimum time requirement.” You want to allay her fears of bringing it up, without giving away your hand.

Is it ever appropriate to kiss a girl on the cheek? Seems kinda gay. -Gargantuwon

The majority of women in my life I kiss on the cheek; my wifes friends, my friends that happen to be girls, my friends girlfriends and every family member. How is kissing a girl in anyway shape or form gay anyway?

Seriously, you’ve got the son of freaking god at your dinner table and you sell him out for a few shiny coins? Coins that Jesus could conjure up from thin air? Was Judas retarded? -Albatross_Beach

Didn’t the Gospel of Judas claims that Jesus asked him to betray him? I remember having a pretty elaborate theory tying the removal of his Gospel with the basic fundamentalism of Faith. I might have been stoned, also, though.

I gotta be honest. I don’t like it in movies or magazines when girls just show one boob at first. It’s stupid and annoying. I don’t want to see just one. I want to see all of them and I want to see them now! -LGRaver

Like that one tit-tease, Kristen Davis. My favortie part was when you said “all of them” and not “both” just in case someone has a half dozen under there.

Corn Pops: Yay or Nay? -Crow754

They get soggy too quick. I eat them all the time as a snack out of the box, but with milk? That’s a big nay.

I couldn’t get it up yesterday when I was about to have sex. -dagupe

It was your golden retrievers lucky night, I guess.

My friend told me he was thinking of hurting himself because is Fiancee, girlfriend for three years, broke up with him. I told him a bitch isn’t worth your life, here’s what you got to do. Go out, fuck a bunch of random bitches, live your life, your 19 years old, you don’t need to settle down right now. He just looked at me and said he’s not like that and that nothing could fix the way he felt. I got up and said well good luck then, and left him with one finaly quote amongst everyone in my group of friends “Bitches be crazy, you never know what they gonna do, all you know is what comes when you stick your dick in them.”  Buddy_Christ

A simple “I’ve had my heart broken too. It sucks, but time will fix it.” would have been way more helpful then telling him the way he is feeling is wrong.

Your opinion on they might be giants? -Lamerooster

Ive been down with them for like 20 years. Never have an accordion and horns sounded so consistently bad-ass. I really wish they were able to release their DuDo commercials.

What would happen if a college team put on tv sanctions makes it to the national championship game? -Minumus

The NCAA would never allow a situation where they couldn’t make money off of volunteers.