Just a heads up, some smooth operators are halfway through a live-streamed 4-day 6-console-generation war against every Mario game created over at www.MarioMarathon.com for Child’s Play, a charity designed to install fun into childrens hospitals. Other people are handling the medicine and beds, these guys are trying to bring fun and hope. So, if you have a moment, check them out, offer a small donation if so inclined, and stop by the chat. I’ll be checking in and out for the duration of the event.
Category Archives: Uncategorized
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The What’s What, Volume 92
Do you think the next GTA will be able to break the single day sales record again? MW2 made it pretty tough. -DaGaym
Well, something will, at some point. MW2 will not last forever, I promise. Even if it takes MW3.
Going to the circus Friday. Haven’t been to the circus since the 6th grade. I’m going to ride the elephant. -MightyMaybe
And a clown will likely molest you. They’re like the priests of carnivals, don’t let the makeup fool you.
lol this girl gave me a bj in bathroom then made out with my friend. Then i was standing with a different friend and her and joking about it. And i told her to suck that friends dick and she did for 10 seconds. Then she went inside and made out with the other friend again. He knows nothing about it and its his regular booty call. Little does he know we both had sex with her in the past. LMAO if only he knew. A girl just sucked two of his friends dick then made out with him within a 30min period. This is not a white trash situation either. This is a hot 105lb asain chick that works for abercrombie. Ugh im surrounded by bad people. This is why i dont trust anyone anymore. Including myself. -HimandEric
I can’t tell if you are bragging about this? Even if this is true, it paints you as a really bad friend. I just don’t understand the brotherhood fraternity mentality of friendship. Its more like torturing dozens of each other into emotional bribery and blackmail instead of just building a few trusted relationships with partners in crime. The groups of friends that you want getting your back in fights, are not the ones you want in a successful real life where there aren’t brawls breaking out, commonly. Just a heads up.
My Favorite nfl Player Is A Second-String Player, is that weird? -ArkoftheGovernment
Since mine is retired, Barry Sanders, I say no.
So we’re about one season away from E3 2010 in Los Angeles; What are YOU hoping for this year? -BestServant
I’d like to see a good crop of innovative software titles, and less of the wii motion control shenanigans catered to from Sony and XBox. I’d like the sandbox genre to continue to get more popular, expansive, and varied. I’d like for Nintendo to drop an Animal Crossing for the Wii. A new one and everything. Seriously. Those three and it’s going to be an expensive season for me.
What exactly is a plea of “No Contest”? I dont really understand it. -NinjaFlapper
From what I understand, people only use it when they accept a plea bargain from the Law but want to be able to defend themselves in civil court.
Played the Just Cause 2 demo yet? -DynamicBarbarian
Yes. Also, I bought the game Day 1. It’s amazing. Huge open world. Your main method of transportation is a parachute/grappling hook combo. The missions are varied and fun, I highly recommend it.
Pugs are seriously the best dogs of all time. -RileyV113
A buddy of mine’s girlfriend has one and besides the fact that its ugly as hell and fires the nastiest smelling shitfire acid on his belongings unless he takes it to the vet/groomers every two weeks to get its rectum squelched, it’s really a nice pet. You should get a couple.
My buddy keeps going on and on about how the Simpsons are not funny and how Family Guy is a way better cartoon. Whatever, it’s an opinion, but he feels superior to those who prefer Simpsons. Anything I can tell him to shut up? -FreeBoobies
I’d wager Seth McFarlane considers the Simpsons an inspiration. It’s cool to have a preference, but to call the Simpsons not funny, even if you think it’s true, makes you seem overemotional about the topic to the point where your credibility is a serious concern.
The What’s What, Volume 88
I don’t understand how people can actually LIKE cocktail sauce. -pen_island
Its horseradish and ketchup. Two condiments can sometimes go great together. Relish and mayo, honey and mustard, etc. I suggest saving your disdain for more important things, though.
Why is there so much hate on Lent? I feel bad for people that have such a simple message of self discipline and sacrifice fly right over their head. -teaboxer
Because others feel bad for people whos views of self discipline and sacrifice begin and end at giving up chocolate for a month.
Lol My dad thought that you made Oreo milkshakes using Oreo ice cream. The other night after we were done eating dinner he said “Well, if you want to make an Oreo milkshake we have some Oreo ice cream in the fridge”. Me and my Mom both laughed at him. -LastTopModel
You are completely wrong. You want the Oreo Ice Cream because the cookies are moister and break apart easier and fit through the straw. To this you add chocolate sauce, extra cookies and milk. I feel bad for your Dad that he got ridiculed for being right.
So, what’s the consensus on MAG? Good? Bad? Worth a purchase? -ZippahHead
My brother in law is really into it. Pretty good too. I liked playing the demo. I like how they force you to push for an objective rather than every game turning into a deathmatch. Pretty innovative scoring, revival, and activity systems. I would suggest renting before purchase, as I would most any game you’ve never played.
So this disabled lady that my mom buys groceries for passed away… How long before I can drink her A&W Root beer? -SOCommander
Im assuming you can’t just drink one and claim you didn’t know? If she does, pour two glasses and bring one to your Mom. Raise a glass to the fallen disabled lady and toast in her honour. She can’t really feel guilty if you have good intentions, and you shouldn’t either if you thank her memory for it. Bonus points: Make floats.
Who deserves more credit for the success of a movie?Director or Writer? -Sicileen
Tough call. Essentially, movie ideas don’t happen from nothing, so I would have to go with writers. I’d be interested to hear what a successful writer/director like Tarantino would have to say about it.
The problem with you potheads is that it doesnt matter if you are factually wrong if people believe you. Its kind of a big problem, given the amount of stupid people out there… -IEnjoiRayden
The problem with everyone (Christians/Atheists, Reps/Dems, Hershey/Nestle) is that it doesn’t matter if you are factually wrong as long as people believe you.
A friend BLOCKED all time wasting sites at work, now the 20 somethings are upset! LOL he has many 20 somethings under him. They spend time on sites like facebook, twitter, myspace, etc. …. everyday! So my friend talked to the tech guy and had him block all those sites. Now the 20 somethings are crying! WTF? Your at work to work, not surf the net. Here and there, surfing is no biggie, but several times a day, each and every day is pushing it. So my friend was pro active. -MortalityDeadbolt
Now, all the 20-somethings are checking these sites on their much, much slower phones wasting much, much more time.
I don’t get why people like you. This blog is about nothing, and it’s not even funny. -ShawneeL91
I don’t get why if I throw a paper clip or aluminum foil sheet into the air, it’s doesn’t float down slightly North. Shouldn’t this happen? Life is full of mysteries.
The What’s What, Volume 87
one of my favorite role models, Mr. Don Draper can’t get through a single meeting without not 1 but 2 old-fashioned’s. I decided to try this drink last night and three in I was all “damn son!” so I’ve deduced that to succeed in advertising, one must be three sheets to the wind. -OffenseSupplied
He makes his paycheck on wasted epiphanies and drunken poetry. He’s like Charles Bukowski in a suit.
Corn Pops are an underrated cereal. -killathenulla
They get soggy too quick. I like them dry. But, they also get stale quickly, which is what I always assumed the special foil bag was for. So, I don’t have them that often. Either in those tiny one serving boxes or at a friends house.
NYC does this annual thing called restaurant week. It’s as pretentious as it sounds. For 35 bucks a head you get app, entree, and desert at any participating place. The main course I went with was called a “filet migon”. It was a “filet medallion” topping out at THREE oz. I don’t mind dropping $100 bucks on dinner (if im getting laid) but I sure as shit want to get my money’s worth and NOT leave hungry. –Latticegrid
Well, we definitely made smaller portions for the restaurant weekers here in Boston. Maybe it’s a specifically Boston thing here, but it’s like $20 and you are supposed to go to 2-3 restaurants a night. It’s a tasting event round here, anyway. Some restaurants see it ass the chance for bringing business back to the restaurant, while others almost seem to feel like it’s a charity event, and your simply giving the littles a taste of the good life. Which I not only disagree with, but also get offended by.
Did you hear about that guy in China that padlocked his kid to a parking meter as child care? -goodlucky7
Different countries, different customs. If he is a loving father with his familys best interest at heart and really thinks thats the best way to keep his family safe, then I can’t argue, and won’t judge.
You watching the Olympics? I know you enjoyed Beijing. Just watched the Ceremonies or competition also? -CanadiAnne
I am, and very much enjoying it. I particularly enjoyed the Opening Ceremonies and the six minutes of awkwardness watching Steve Nash and Wayne Gretzky stall while giant ice dildos/breadsticks waved around haplessly. Nows a good time to mention that I went searching for an American Opening Ceremonies hat, only to find out they are asking $75 for the bastard. After much consideration, I went on the internet expecting and willing to pay $40 for one, and they doubled my offer. Oh well, maybe after the Olympics they’ll come down. Also, I can’t believe how often they keep showing the video of that luge guy dying. It’s pretty rare for American media to show someone dying, and certainly not as graphic. It’s a good thing it wasn’t an American who died, or NBC wouldn’t have this awesome video to exploit over the next two weeks. I mean, anyone who wants to see it can find it on the internet, and this is supposed to be family programming, but they insist on replaying this like its Sarah Palin writing on her hand. Crazy.
I know its late and you skipped blogging about the Super Bowl this year, but what did you think of The Who as the halftime show? -OfficeMaxwell
I thought it was alright. I really enjoyed how they used the whole field for a stage instead of having a bunch of people willing to look happy cause they were on TV jump around like retards for 15 minutes. The band did look worn and borderline loungey at times. I’m certainly not a fan of the elderly rock band half time show factory the Super Bowl halftime has become.
You seem to be pretty anti-American. Why don’t you just get the fuck out? -maroonunit
I’m not anti-American, I’m anti-Capitalism. I am a globalist, but that doesn’t mean you don’t get to take pride in your country. But sometimes, its difficult to defend my statesmen. In my experience, the people that say “Well, then they should learn our language” are the same people that will teach foreigners trying to learn English wrong definitions to be hilarious. There’s a lot of inconsiderate people in this world complaining about inconsiderate people, and that’s completely indefensible.
I tried to understand black holes, singularities, spacetime, etc, and it just made me feel stupid.Last night, I was on wikipedia reading about the origins of the moon and I ended up reading stuff about spacetime and singularities and black holes and the big bang and accretion. I’m a pretty intelligent guy, but what the fuck? That shit made me feel like a downright moron. -FirstLyric
I was in the same boat until I discovered Neils DeGrasse-Tyson. He totally boils these things down into analogies I can understand. I highly recommend his books, or TV show, Nova Science Now. There’s also an Asian astrophysicist whos good at it too. Michio something.
The What’s What, Volume 85
You got a new phone? What kind, whos your provider? Any good? -Navybound88
Sprint’s HTC Hero. Totally boss. It does tend to lag occasionally, but nothing a reboot doesnt fix. It takes forever to boot up, thats really my main issue. Which likely won’t matter if a firmware update fixes the lagging issues. I was really worried about the touch keyboard, I have always have a physical one. But, after a calibration and a few minutes it totally picks up what I’m going for. The Android Applications are awesome. I do have some disappointment in the Google Calendar function, but that’s on Google, and likely will be fixed with a couple applications over time. I am remarkably happy with it, overall.
Mark McGwire admitted using steroids when he broke baseball’s single-season home run record in 1998. Your thoughts? -Bronzemonkey
He’s going to follow-up with a press conference that the sun is hot, tomorrow. Seriously, though, his admittance is still full of lies. How he didn’t take them for performance is just one. Because everyone injects themselves with something every day because it does nothing, right? He’s an ass thats still lying. The worst part is, none of this was illegal, so I continue to blame the MLB Administration for the whole fiasco.
Do you flash your lights to warn oncoming traffic of cops? And how many people do you think are aware of this signal? -zappattammann
Yeah, I do it. Not sure how many people think I’m trying to tell them to turn their lights on. One time it happened to us in Ireland, and we slowed down to avoid foreign law and it turns out a biker got hit by car and was lying in the middle of the road around a sharp corner. We would have ran the bastard over again if no one had been coming our way. Apparently, thats the way they do it over there. Flashing lights means shit got real up ahead.
Sarah Palin is joining Fox News. She’ll fit right in. -HarvardBroad
So, she quit her job as Governor to pimp her book and get a TV show? Apparently, the only thing she’s going rogue on is responsibility.
I just really wasn’t in the mood for being in the office but then my boss requested a doctor’s note but I wasn’t sick so getting one wouldn’t have been possible. So I just printed some stuff on a piece of paper like “patient number 0444” and “symptoms” on a piece of a paper, cut it so it looked like a small note and not a full sheet of paper and then I told my friend to fill in the blanks with his handwriting and then he signed it at the bottom. My boss totally bought it. Owned. -MrGoodmanBar
You could have saved yourself the anxiety and just gone to a doctor. Every time I have asked a doctor for a legitimate or illegitimate doctors note, they have asked me what I wanted it to say. Seems like a waste of time for everyone involved to request one.
Seriously, every other day on the news I hear about group X being disapointed because Obama did not legalize gay marriage (gays), did not end racism (minorities), did not legalize marijuana (pot advocates), did not end both wars right away (bleeding hearts – just kidding, I’m against both wars), did not do more against global warming (tree huggers – again, kidding), etc. No wonder so many are disapointed, its like they expected him to be a messiah on all of these issues after 1 year in office. It`s not Obama that is the problem, its the political system that he is part of that makes passing any kind of significant legislation take years. Anyway, I`ll fully judge his presidency when its over, not after less than a year. -the_wire44
While true, he did kind of sell himself on hope and change, so you can’t really blame voters for choosing to support him. Not that you are totally the victim when your chosen political candidate turns out to be just another corporate puppet, if you can’t see that coming a mile away to begin with, than politics is not your thing.
What’s the worst book you have ever read? -kbrace8240
Either Lord of the Flies, or Bridge to Terabithia. Both pretty much turned me off of reading for a few years, when the point was to get kids interested in reading. You mean a bunch of adults agreed on books that kids would be interested in, put a fancy gold sticker on them, and completely failed in every aspect of the decisions? Shocking.
Ron Jeremy says violent video games ‘worse’ than porn.-drama11
I agree. I find the glorification of violence far more offensive than the glorification of sex, though I have a high tolerance for both. I think violence is wrong in all cases, while sex is wrong in very few. It’s retarded that parents who would be offended at buying their kids porn at 18 would be so easily talked into God of War at 10 years old.
Sources close to former ‘Tonight Show’ host Jay Leno tell me he is furious with the way NBC has treated him and Conan O’Brien and is considering walking away from the entire mess. How screwed is NBC? -OGBobbsonn
It’s just some PR trying to spin Leno’s disappointment that everyone is reacting to his treachery negatively. I don’t buy any of Leno’s reasons for leaving in that article. It’s nice to say now, to try to save some face, but Jay will eventually come through with the “too many people, from the props guy to the wardrobe lady, and their families, rely on me for their livelihood.” or such preconsidered nonsense and have no qualms stealing back the show he retired from when the time comes.
When you’re down and out, do you have any friends you can count on? -4emlock
I do, but I try to figure out my own problems. My friends are for fun. I don’t see any reason to burden anyone else with my troubles, and I have friends who treat me the same way. I might ask advice or their thoughts on a situation. But I try very hard to not complain about things that don’t really concern them.
The What’s What, Volume 83
If you order pizza in a snow storm and don’t tip more than usual, you’re a bad person. -MaxRushmore
I completely agree. I give much more in crappy weather, because it would be more of a hassle to get it myself than normal.
Better show: Weeds or Breaking Bad? Forget the fact that Weeds has a MILF as the main character. Which show is better? -RobinStoddard
I have only seen Weeds, so I can’t make an accurate comparison. But Breaking Bad is basic cable right? When in doubt as a tiebreaker, I go with the cussing, violence and boobies. Just for realism sake. But that’s just me.
What did you do for New Years Eve? -LostinMasturbation
I did the adult New Years. Fancy dinner with wife, played the games we got for Christmas with her uncle and cousin, watched some Stooges, some Twilight Zone, and the ball drop and then went to bed. I don’t believe I had a drink all night. I had a new phone to get the next morning. Didn’t want to be hung over for that.
Why do ALL the non-religious people feel so superior to religious users? -SuperChaos
Because they believe they are right, just like the religious. Only the religious superiority is more of pity towards atheists because they won’t get into heaven. While the atheists feel superior in a different way, kind of like the way you would feel upon meeting a 35 year old who still believed in Santa Claus. Like eye-rolling at a precocious scamp.
I got to know, why do people go on facebook,myspace,twitter,etc? SDownVRaw09
It takes less than ten minutes a day to find out what everyone you care about is up to. It’s on your own time, terms, and great to not get bogged down in phone call after phone call. I know what my moms sister is doing every day, and I haven’t seen her since my wedding 5 years ago. I tell my Mom what her sisters up to and she still doesn’t get it.
‘Denise’ from the new Taco Bell commercial is gorgeous -Gameridian55
I’d like to Chimi her Changa. But yeah, both those girls are cute. And I like the way the other girl gets pissed when she has to get Denise. I actually believe that shes pissed her service isn’t good enough. Quite the acting from her.
Should the drinking age in the United States be lowered to 18? -DatAzkhaban
Yes, I do. At the least. I think that we should follow a more European model and let kids get drunk. Seriously. I feel drunk people are better when supervised. Kids are more likely to get bored of getting drunk if its no big deal to anyone else. But for America? A great start is letting enlisted men and women have a drink, legally. It’s ludicrous that an 18 year old solider can shoot someone in the face from point blank rage or take a bomb in the crotch but having a beer or two to deal with it is a no-no.
You watch Bret Hart’s return on Raw? -zeitghost
I did, actually, thanks to a text from a friend. Just the beginning. Wasn’t impressed, really. HD is not kind to the Hitman. I thought they would spruce up an angle or something, but was pretty much the same tried and true forced heat recipe.
The What’s What, Volume 82
I got a $20 PSN card in my stocking, what do I get? -Nucleusandthem
You get another dollar and buy Flower and Battlefield 1942. Yes, they charge sales tax, which always struck me as unfair. If you only get one, get Flower. It’s like playing art.
I rage out when people shit on “Funny People”. It was a great drama, and people can’t get over the fact that Apatow can write a decent drama movie. It wasn’t supposed to be a comedy. It’s a FUCKING DRAMA! -Panthertopdog
I blame the studios for marketing it as a comedy. The studio knew it was a drama and marketed it as an Apatow comedy to make bank by concentrating on the casting of Adam Sandler, Seth Rogan, and that it was written by Judd Apatow. The fact that it was called “Funny People” gives a touch of blame to Apatow. But seriously, how can you blame people for going to a Judd Apatow movie called “Funny People” and expecting a comedy? You can’t. You CAN NOT.
From CNN’s Year in Review: Even celebrity pitch personalities weren’t immune as 2009 also saw the passing of Oxiclean pitchman Billy Mays and Gidget, the chihuahua best known for hawking Taco Bell. How about a little more respect for Billy Mays? -Ludermenn7
More importantly, “weren’t immune”? Weren’t immune from death? Really? Did commercial endorsers have mystical immortality powers in 2008? What the hell, CNN? Pointing out the fact that your job has to adhere to the natural laws of biology is hardly a respectful eulogy.
Brittany Murphy was taking medications including Topamax (anti-seizure meds also to prevent migraines), Methylprednisolone (anti-inflammatory), Fluoxetine (depression med), Klonopin (anxiety med), Carbamazepine (treats Diabetic symptoms and is also a bipolar med), Ativan (anxiety med), Vicoprofen (pain reliever), Propranolol (hypertension, used to prevent heart attacks), Biaxin (antibiotic), Hydrocodone (pain med) and miscellaneous vitamins. The doctor responsible should be charged for this. And be jailed. -TrolloverGrimace
I don’t blame the Doctor. I blame the idiot who feels the need to take that much medication. My guess is she asked for all that. I know Doctors that will write me a prescription for whatever I ask for. Not once have these Doctors said to me “You look like you could really use some HydroCodone”. She had been self-diagnosing herself and apparently taking pills prescribed for other people. How was she “really sick”? How was her doctor supposed to know which interactions are dangerous when she is taking pills prescribed for other people? Why is this junkie any different? Because shes famous? You liked her movies? No one cares.
How do you make money in San Andreas? These missions only give me rep. I’ve managed buy one new safe house due to killing those Ballas and taking their money. -Burrito_Alien
Horse racing, hands down. Each horse has a 20% chance of winning or 5:1 odds, but many odds of the horses are 10:1, 12:1, or 15:1. Just keep betting on long-shots and eventually you’ll make out. It’s like you are the house.
Describe the first porno you ever saw. –Latticegrid
It was entitled: Back Rent. Some Arnold Swarzenegger body double is playing a landlord, and collects rent from broke women who offer themselves in exchange. One of them was way too cute and innocent to be in this porno and he concentrates mostly on her and does unspeakable things to her while the other girls look bored. That wasn’t part of the plot, it’s just how it went.
People who bring up championships/rings when comparing two players in a team sport need to be killed. That argument only works for non-team sports i.e. Golf, Tennis, etc. -Ic3m4n7
I agree with you for the most part, but I think you have to include NFL QB’s, NHL Goalies and maybe MLB Starting Pitchers for championship victories earned as personal achievements.
Verizon trolled AT&T so hard with the 3G map thing. AT&T is really butthurt over it.-IssHowIDo
From someone who loves Sprint, it really seems like Verizon is fisting AT&T over the whole map fight. AT&T gets a celebrity to tell you what’s up, but he goes off on things that aren’t even related to the argument. And Verizons commercials get funnier and own harder every time they run one. Like the iPhone on the island of misfit toys. AT&T looks like a sad, drunk, desperate bitch over this whole thing.
Skip Bayless just said Wes Welker is the one that draws double teams. -Hogsfan206
Didn’t Welker get his 100 reception in like Week 11 after missing 2 games? Crappiest double team defenses ever.
There was no year 0, the decade ends next year, the millennium ended in 2001, your mind is now blown-MarciaLaw
Not blown yet. Allow me to bring up the scientific facts that the Earth is rotating slower and revolving closer to the sun every second, and you’ll infer that days are getting longer while the years are getting shorter, somehow. And then you can realize that time is a short term esoteric concept anyway, and that’s when your head gets blown.
The What’s What, Volume 81
I hung out with this awesome girl and I’m really into her. I knew she was a waitress, but then I found out she works at Hooters. I can’t tell if I am more or less attracted to her now. It varies from minute to minute. -rfaf4413
It’s less for me, personally. Flirting with desperate dudes for money seems just as desperate as the guys who are there to make themselves feel better. But hey, maybe all of her awesome qualities outweigh this one unfortunate thing. She’s not going to be a Hooters waitress forever. Unless they open up a “Cougars”, I’d let it slide for a bit to see where the relationship is headed.
Tikki tikki tembo-no sa rembo-chari bari ruchi-pip peri pembo. Bitch fell in a well. lol. -NicelegsDanny
I really hate it when people give nonsensical terms credence. Oh wow, the author made a bunch of made up syllables rhyme. What a literary genius. You know whats tougher to do then that? Everything. Up yours, Kipling.
My ex just sent me a text, “Hey, just wanted to see how you are doing” We broke up 3 months ago. You tell me what to reply to her. -limitlessorgasm
Anything but “Good thanks, who is this?” confirms that you still have her number in your cell or remember her number by heart. When you delete the name from the contact list, the number just shows up. Tell her it didn’t look familiar. It’s really your best option. Allows you to be pleasant while proving you have moved on. Even if you do remember her number doesn’t mean that it’s a good idea to let her know that.
Also, it seems kind of an asshole move on her part to phrase her question like that. Kind of infers that she is worried about how you could possibly be coping with the loss of her . Stick it to her pleasantly. Let her know it wasn’t that big a deal, even if it was.
HOW CUTE ARE THESE BOOTS? HOW CUTE ARE THESE BOOTS? -rackhimromey
I love my comfy sweater! I love my comfy sweater!
anyone who watches football all day on sunday either has a small dick or is a lesbian -Despotential
My friends and I take our football seriously. Theres usually two serious meals involved, and a handful of gambling. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t feel the need to justify my Sundays to you, or anything. During the offseason Sundays my wife and I, and whoever else wants to, go Geocaching all day. And I don’t care for your opinion on that, either. I hope you enjoy your Sundays, whatever you are up to.
Obama might be a one-term President. Obama has lost a most of the Democrats’ respect because he campaigned from the left and is now governing from the center. He has gained none of the Republicans’ respect because he isn’t conservative enough. A handful of moderates are really the only stronghold he has left. -bmaherforsenator
I agree totally. Hes trying to hard to be bipartisan with a group of Republicans that want nothing to do with it. Just makes him look weak. If the Republicans can find someone whos NOT a laughingstock (ie Palin, Jindal, Cheney) then it’s pretty much theirs. Congress is my main issue. I perceive a lot of corruption in that industry, from both sides.
Scenario: Non-Nuclear WWIII breaks out on your home soil. What do you do? -SunshineAssociation
I’d be an insurgent. Shaking hands with the invading armies, waving their flags, welcoming them to the country, wearing my suit every day to work. “Yay! Thanks for toppling our corrupt government! I love Lo Mein!” . And killing one soldier a day, quietly.
When you wipe your butthole, do you tend to smell your fingers afterwards? -Nickelwise
Why in the hell would I do that? If the toilet paper does its job, there should be nothing to smell. If it rips or something, I think I’d be wise to the fact that there’s a smear of food canoe on my hand that doesn’t need to be confirmed aromatically.
From a parent’s perspective, what would be the most haunting day for their child to die? The kid’s birthday? Mothers Day? Holiday? Parents birthday? -JeffreyWeinerslav
It’s not the kids birthday, that just stupid. The parents will already have that day to remember what happened. The kids birthday is already ruined as soon as the kid dies, no matter what day it’s on. This would cut the pain in half, I would think. Saving you from having to deal with the day the kid dies, also. It would be Mothers Day/Fathers Day if it was the same every year, reminding you the failure of your parenting skills on the day that celebrates them. But it’s not the same day every year, so that is also no dice. I’m gonna say the parents birthday. It pretty much ruins the day specifically aimed to celebrate you. That’s my thoughts, but I’m not a parent yet. Nor do I hope to have experience of your question.
Have you ever been to a soup kitchen? -ChoosingJif
Yeah, all the time when I worked as a a cook. I used to drop off all the leftover meals. A couple times a year we would all volunteer as cooks also. Fooled around with a few cute hippie girls that way.
The What’s What, Volume 80
Hey, it’s Tiger. I need you to do me a huge favor. Can you please take your name off your phone? My wife went through my phone and may be calling you. So if you can, please take your name off that. Just have it as a number on the voicemail, just have it as your telephone number. You got to do this for me. Huge. Quickly. Bye. Thanks. -TygerWoodz3
Hes such a romantic.
“This email was sent from my iPhone”. Oh God, really? Sweet, because I was sitting here wondering what you used to reply to my e-mail. Now that I know it’s your iPhone, I can’t stop thinking about how important you must be. Assholes. Learn how to edit a signature. -thecheezythree
I always answer these shitcakers back with an e-mail that quietly ends “Sent from my Amiga 286 ColecoVision Atari 2600”
Good for Biz Marquis getting Radio Shack to fill up his stocking. Has anyone gotten richer off of one song ever? -MysterySolver
Its like Radio Shack contacted BizMarkie’s agent and they were all “Using that song in a national commercial will cost you $40,000. But for another $10,000, BizMarkie will sing the god damned thing for you! Give it some time, I wager Digital Undergrounds “Humpty Dance” will surpass it. Seriously.
Buried or Cremated? –JackColtonsdogg
Cremated. I have this terrible fear that the death of your body does not necessarily mean the death of your mind.
do you intend to lie to your (future) childeren about santa clause? -CrestFightStrips
Nope. I’m going to tell my kids nothing of Santa Claus. I don’t think people should require perceived policing and justice from an imaginary person so they treat other people with dignity and respect. If everything goes to plan, they will fear my wrath until they are 18, and then, the law.
What the hell is up with furries? At first I thought it was a joke, then a fad, but it seems to be getting more popular and prevalent. WTF? -PalletJunkie
It’s legalized bestiality for the embarrassed and non-rural. Weird? Sure. Bothering my life? Nope.
Any mental tricks that help pass time? -Disneygro
No, there’s nothing. It’s called boredom for a reason. Take the opportunity to remind yourself to do some deep breathing. It’s really good for you.
US goes to war against the UK. Who wins? -5Mt1.
Wow. Some people are taking this World Cup pretty seriously. China is the correct answer, with “depends on the reason and who gets more world support” a close second.
The Whimsical MetaCognitionist Chronicles 