If Osma is caught under Obama’s watch, what does that do to the right wing dickheads like Hannity and Limbaugh? -mus1cel1t1st
Hannity and Limbaugh trip over each other to claim that it was Bush’s policies that did the work, and that the trillions of dollars spent on the war has now been justified.
My brother has been a self-centered douche for the last month and today my mom went into hospital for a check up, nothing major, and we were tasked with cleaning up the house for when my mom got back.
Predictably he refused to do any work leaving me to do all the chores whilst he loafed around the house all day. I finally had enough and when he went outside for a smoke I stole the power cable to the xbox360 and hid it in my safe.
So now he’s all mad at me and demanding I give it back, should I try and resolve the situation diplomatically and strike a deal or shall I just refuse to give it back to him at all? -HallamanCX
Hes just going to end up doing something worse to you. If you want this escalation to continue, it could end up worse for everyone involved. You should have done half the work and let your mom handle him when she gets home.
How many different jellys/jams are in your fridge right now? -TimSchone23
Polaner seedless raspberry is the only way I roll.
Would you rather have a million dollars, or a day pass to the world’s only Dinosaur petting zoo? Keep in mind this petting zoo will only last for a day. All of the Dinosaurs are tamed and will not eat you. You will be the only person in the history of mankind to ever see and touch living, breathing Dinosaurs. -BlankMedia
Great question, though a bit flawed. After I wrote a book about how awesome it was to be the only person to handle dinosaurs, I’d make more than a mil. Not to mention the skin and hair samples I’d pocket. So I figure I can do both, thats the only flaw.
You find out your Dad is cheating on your Mom. You’re in college so you’re on your way out of the house anyway, but you have a younger sibling. Do you tell your mom, or do you give your dad a high five? -LowAltitude4yer
Extort him for what you can now, because likely you’ll never see him again.
Mixing a laundrymat and tanning salon is the most random business combination I have ever seen. -M4j0rB1s0n
Thats actually a smart idea. There was a place in Wheaton, Maryland called “Bubba Louie’s Beef BBQ and Adult Video” I noticed when visiting my uncle. I would not eat pulled pork or any form of moist meat from a porn store.
I don’t eat the pizza crust on the end, my palate is far too sophisticated for that nonsense. -Soufcentral212
I completely agree. It’s the handle. That like eating shrimp tails, or steak bones, or like drinking the coffee and then eating the mug.
Sylvia Browne is the biggest con artist in American history. There’s a lot of youtube videos out there that show just how wrong she is when she’s on Montel. Check them out if you want a great laugh. But it also angers me to see the people that are devastated when she gives her “readings” that are completely false. -Grapedrinker
Some people choose to trade rational cognition for a little closure, I guess. I’d rather have the truth or nothing than an ugly muppet guessing, but to each their own.
This girl in the slow class at school claims to be the reincarnation of Hitler because she took an internet test. When the teachers told her that she wasn’t the reincarnation of Hitler and that he was a horrible man, the girl started crying and screaming. After arguing with them for a good 5 minutes, she hit one of the teachers and got sent to detention. I gotta say, it was pretty entertaining. -MaroonNoon
Tell her you are the reincarnation of Eva Braun. And that she has to ingest your seed for the reckoning to begin. It’s not every day you get an opening for oral from a retard. You best capitalize.
Heath Ledger won the Oscar because hes dead. He sucked as the joker and his best role was for being a homo.
He doesn’t have the acting chops of a legend like Sylvester Stallone. That guy would never play a homo if his life depended on it. -MetsUpset
He was good. But it seems like this Oscar was a cop-out. HL wasn’t good enough for a lifetime achievment award, but they wanted to honor him, so they just shuffled this one his way. I don’t think Alan Arkin even opened the envelope before saying “andtheoscargoestoheathledger”. All the other nominees reactions looked like they had no plans to get up. The whole thing seemed kind of phony.
Let’s say you found out a gay man was masturbating to pics/videos of you. How would that make you feel? Would you be flattered, angry, confused, or something else? -Shift8isAsterisk
I’d probably become his cam whore and make some PayPal bank, while learning about him personally and blackmail him if he gave me an opening.
The Whimsical MetaCognitionist Chronicles 