The What’s What, Volume 60

What’s the last bad movie you watched? -Arkannitee

Paul Blart: Mall Cop.  The villain was such a poor actor, it reflected terribly on the satisfactory skills of Kevin James, and the surprising chops of Jayma Mays.   Also, the writing wasn’t great.  I’ve never really been a fan of Nick Bakay.

Contrary to popular belief, I think lust can be just as… “beautiful” as love. I mean, it’s not nearly as meaningful, but I think it’s just as important. -Innocensassin

I’m pretty sure this was the early thought process of the serial killer from Silence of the Lambs who was skinning his victims to make a dress.

How does Donte Stallworth get 30 days for killing a man and Michael Vick get 2 years for killing dogs? -The_Frank

If I die and my family has a chance to get rich instead of putting the dude in jail, you damned right I expect them to.  His ass rotting in jail is not doing my family any good.  Plus, I believe that Michael Vick was jailed for some federal gambling charge involving crossing state lines, and had very little to do with the actual killing of dogs.

I don’t get Thriller. So MJ watches MJ rape some girl as a werewolf. His date IRL gets scared of bestiality walks out, MJ follows. Starts singing to her. Then Vincent summons zombies. Who dont want to eat brains like decent zombies but rather to dance with MJ and his date. Then somehow MJ becomes a zombie. They dance and then the lady runs into a house. MJ breaks in and is closing in on her. But he just wakes her up and then turns around is now a monster again? WTF -ConArtiste

That about covers it.  I think you’ve got it all figured out there.

Rate a song: Soul Asylum – “Runaway Train”-Alpha_Omegatron

It was just so god-damned overplayed back in High School it really started to rub the wrong way.   Hearing it now immediately returns me to my junior year. Good times, still a song that’s actual value was ruined for me because of over saturation.

So if your gf catches you smoking weed and wants you to quit, you do it right? -Mazzeltoff

No. You say “I’m going to want to try a lot of different things in our future together. If you don’t want to try them, that’s okay. But I would never ask you to not try something new, and then stop doing it if you enjoyed the experience. That would cause resentment, and that’s not balling to me.”

What would That 70’s Show be called if it actually aired in the 70’s? -urban_apostle

Either “Kelso Loves Jackie” or “Red Foremans Parenting Showcase”

PSP Go is only digital download… that is BAD thing. There will be no more finding cheap used games to save a ton of money.  Digital download’s prices stay the same for YEARS.  I’d rather just get a normal PSP so I can find a bunch of the games for a lot cheaper. -Legendary_Hamburger

That’s a good point. But not losing games is also a significant advantage, for me, anyway.  I still can’t find my beloved copy of Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney.  Especially for like travel systems, with their tiny, tiny, games.

“Useless item collection” is now “replayability” in games with GP/trophies. that’s ridiculous, the only game I ever wanted to (and did) collect stuff in was GTA:SA  -magayushi

Works for me. I pretty much play the stories as I normally would the first time around. If the gameplay is fun enough which makes me want to continue playing more, it gives me an actual goal to work for. I’m not doing it for the trophies exactly, I’m doing it because the game is fun and it’s a goal to accomplish.

Watching this seasons Entourage? -Teggles11

I don’t care about E and Sloane. AT ALL.  I’ve never been around 3 guys who act more like bitches  than his friends. Why the hell are they on E about his girls, or his relationships?  When did they turn into 13 year old girls? I swear it was the whole god damned episode. Barely a mention of the Scorsese movie. They’d better get back to bonghits, naked girls and movie politics toot sweet.

The What’s What, Volume 57

How is being gay a sin when a man’s g spot is in his a-hole? -ballin1995

I believe you just disproved the existence of God, by simply referencing anal pleasure.  Kudos.

“the first dozen sexual experiences in my life (either inappropriate or welcomed) were directly related to the church, its clergy, its parishioners, or church functions.” Dude, please elaborate on the clergy part. -stella

Look, I’m not here to whistleblow anyones fun or ruin any careers.  The only names you will find on this blog are mine and celebrities.  Since I don’t believe in God, I believe that clergymen are equal to a man, and should not held to a higher moral standard.  If someone else wants to put their trust in them, that’s their issue.  Yes, I have been in some inappropriate situations with a clergyman and other church employees.  But I was able to avoid anything really unfortunate simply by leaving.  No one held me against my will, they were simply testing it.  What was really surprising to me is how some kids welcomed the advances.  I had no idea that “abuses” could occur that would leave both parties satisfied and happy, which I would hardly consider abuses at that point.

My girlfriend made out with some douche at a party last night. She tried to blame it on the alcohol, I wasn’t hearing any of it though, we are done. But it sucks, it happened to my friend with his girlfriend of 4 years, she banged one of his friends. She tried to blame it on the alcohol.-rfj202

They always blame it on too much alcohol and never take the responsibility to admit they are the ones who drank too much alcohol. In fact, I truly believe that some girls preemptively get drunk so they know they’ll have it as an excuse, when they carry out their plans of banging the cute guy upstairs or whatever.

There is nothing worse than talentless artists who think people just “don’t get” their work. -Hamas_Hummus

It sure makes them feel better about sucking though.

Don’t get me wrong, I love the WhatsWhat, but what happened to your writing?  I really enjoyed your stories. – Zelmarket

Thanks for the kind words.  My wife and I are trying to have a baby, and she said she’d feel better if I quit marijuana for the time being, so I did.  Ideas come less frequently and when they do, I get half way through them and don’t feel as excited about my writing, so I stop.  I’m blaming it on that for now.  We’ll see if it’s true or not when shes with child.

Since David Stern became NBA commissioner in 1984 only 7 different teams have won a championship.  Thoughts? -soarlemur

It sounds scandalous until you realize that none of them are the Knicks and Sterns been rigging drafts and lotteries both to get NY to be good. So, he can’t even cheat properly, if that’s the case.

Which Daily Show reporter do you think will be the next to make it big? (Other than Ed Helms) That show has a knack for making huge stars out of people. I’m betting John Oliver.-FHGPuzzle

They are really pimping for Jason Jones to be next, but I’m not really a huge fan.  I’ve seen quite a bit of Sam Bee off the show alot recently, but I still wager Oliver is the house favorite.  That Chris Farley ripoff can die in a fire, though.

Scenario: You like a girl, she is single but she is still getting over her ex who cheated on her. She was in love with this kid and he broke her heart, she’s been single awhile now but she isn’t over him. You fear she might get back with him soon, but this girl means a lot to you. How do you get her? -Thurmon_Wright

In girlspeak this translates to “You’re not my top choice, but if he doesn’t take me back, I’ll need some way to keep my mind off of him and make him jealous at the same time, so you might come in handy.”

Are your animals well at communicating with yoi? Do they let you know when they have to go outside, their food dish needs filled, their tummy hurts, if something bad is happening? -Hyper_Hypo

My dog is great at communication. We have jingle bells next to the door that he rings when he wants to go outside. Will bring a leather glove (or brush or any toy) to me when he wants to be brushed/play. Sits by the treat door and grumbles when he wants a bone.  I can’t tell when he feel sick though.

Well… I just spent 30 min on a phone with a Doctor, telling me how I’m making a mistake wanting to go to Med School.
He said that I’m going to be in debt until im 40, I’m in the service of the devil (Obama), as an example, if I was a watchmaker, I would normally be making $100 per watch, Obama will make it so that I’m only making $20 per watch now…
He also said that I will be a slave for the rest of my life, and that I’m “lucky” for him to opening my eyes to world of evil, saying that it’s not to late to change my career plans…  -Enya_Lives

Well good, if you were going to be a Doctor to make money, as opposed to having the drive to help people, like they way it sounds the Doctor you spoke to was after, then hes doing us all a favour by keeping you out of the industry.

Is obesity a disability?  I personally don’t think it’s a disability. People get fat on their own accord, and it’s not like it’s an overnight thing. You can tell if your ass is getting fat, so that’s the time when a normal person will try to get healthier. If obesity is a disability then what’s next, alcoholism? Is cocaine addiction a disability? -HunterXThompson

Kind of. In the same way that a retard shoots himself in the foot and then is forced to have a limp.

Microsoft just sent me an email saying that because of the network downtime, I get a month of XBL Gold for a dollar.  I was on vacation!  lol. -rawdawg0911

Did the e-mail actually say “We’re sorry about that, to make up for the inconvenience we’re going to accept more money from you.”?

Fact: If you saw a ghost or something, you would pray to god for it to go away. You would close your eyes and PRAY to god to get that thing to go away. Even you, atheist. -CampingWhore

I lol at people who claim to know what the unexplained is so unequivocally.  I wish I would let my imagination run my head once in a while. To be so assured in your own ignorance must be wonderful for your ego.

your nike and reebok shoes are made in the same factories with the payless crap. -Ozmandee

Same factory, but different design and different grades of leather and cotton.

The What’s What, Volume 53

I just saw that Eddie House video from the semifinals.  What a bitch he is, he got hoe slapped upside the head, and didn’t do nothing about it. What a pussy, but he is a Celtic, and they’re a team full of pussies. -Jijcore

Really? Eddie House is the bitch? Not Rafer Alston, who SLAPPED a dude in the BACK of the head? He SLAPPED him. In the BACK of the head, and Eddie House is the bitch? With an open hand, Alston hit House where he cant see it coming, and Eddie is the bitch?  You sure about this?

did they really have to show that guy’s cock so much in ‘forgetting sarah marshall?’ -jbillz

They should have traded off with some Mila Kunis or Kirsten Bell boobies.  And don’t give me “They did, the snapshot…” I mean REAL boobies.

If you were starting an MLB franchise right now, who would you take with the first pick? -hamashummus

Either Pujols, Longoria, or Hanley Ramirez.  Pitchers are too sporadic.

I’m skipping church this Wednesday to watch Lost -SoljahofGawd

This just means when you need a miracle, God will be watching 30 Rock.

Do you think it’s completely retarded that global warming/climate change is a political issue? I don’t think something as important as the future of Man and the Earth should be hinged on which side you lean towards the most. -IluvHaydenP

If the government shouldn’t be the one to fix it, then no one will. Corporations? Theres no profit margin. God? He’s the one who’s causing it. Your Mom? Shes busy causing my glacier to melt, if you know what I’m saying.

Ever had a drug deal go bad?  N3w_Y0rk3r

After a drug dealer sold my friend blunt shavings, he approaches the dealer who says to him, “You best not press, lest you gots a vest fo yo chest.”  We laughed in his face and left. He got our twenty dollars, but we bought one hell of an incident for it.

If you were grilling a pork tenderloin, What would you flavor it with? -ObesityLite

Dry rubs work really well on grilled pork. Creates a textured crust that seals in natural juices.  I would suggest either cajun, lemon pepper or cinnamon chipotle.

Pericings or Tattoos? -HighOnLifeandDrugs

Piercings are usually immediately distinguishable and when you notice them, it’s because some retard put them in a place to garner attention and shock value.   Tattoos can only be seen if you want them to. It’s like finding out a secret when someone shows you one.  Tattoos by 15 lengths.

I wonder what it’s like to be in a swimming pool during a big earthquake.  -Hammeroidrage

I went SCUBA diving in the caribbean and asked the instructor what happens if theres a tsunami.  He said “You wouldn’t feel a thing, we’d come up to the surface and wonder what the fuck happened to the beach and parking lot.”. Pretty cool.

how much of your life has changed since Barack Obama was elected President?-Mototype12

Other than the copious amounts of lulz from butthurt Republicans, very little.

How much did you spend on your sunglasses? -BishDin

$250 They’re prescription so I only get one pair, and I buy high quality so they last a while.

Who do you love more wife or your parents? -Czechlist

Well, they are different types of love. My love for my parents is based on respect and gratitude. My love for my wife is different because I chose her based on her inherent qualities, of which I fell in love with. You don’t get to really choose to love your parents. But if they werent my parents, I probably wouldn’t have had the chance to meet them.

Jim Rome is a bitch about Pot Use. Mind you this is a dude that grew up in So. Cal and went to college at UCSB. Can’t believe that guy is wound so tight. Maybe pot touched him in a bad place when he was a kid? -Large_Soprano

I wager his girlfriend started to smoke and dumped him for a dealer or something.

Do you think Christian Bale is a prick? -RRODDaily

Dunno, never met him. But from what I have assembled from people who do know him or overheard by reading the news, he’s a class A douchebag.

The What’s What, Volume 29

My 18 year old cousin hurts my heart… I’m talking about real shit here man. My cousin is a God damn whore. Now she’s living with a damn crack head selling her ass. It’s painful to watch her because God knows we tried to help her.  -4lock

I doubt it, Gods been paying nickels for that ass all week.

favorite hot pocket? -bloogoo

Either Supreme, or Italian four meat/four cheese.

Honestly in porn.. does the guy matter to you at all? Meaning, if it’s a hot chick ****ing a goldenboy, is that different than the same hot chick ****ing a hobo? -mattitude17

As long as he’s not making retarded jokes. Guys don’t bring anything TO the table in porn, so they’re only job is to not take anything FROM the table.

Do you understand how the United States economy works? -salgood

I don’t claim to know, but I don’t claim to care either.

THE THING I HATE MOST IN THE WORLD! MANUAL CARS!!!! arghhh why cant people just get with the times
they should stop making them… I just want all cars to be auto then I could reach my dream of becoming a police officer!!!  -Jonathan_Drama

Manual is way better once you learn. More control of the car. The car is safer because it’s waaaaay lighter. Also, many girls think driving a manual is sexy. Go ahead, ask them.

What’s a career you feel you’d be perfect for but will likely never do? For me, it would be a career in law, specifically a lawyer, then a judge. -Ganon_Jones

Park Ranger.  I love the outside, and feel strongly in protecting it. Plus, I’m even-keeled and don’t mind being alone.

On the real… Why is beef jerky so expensive? 6 bucks!?!? -acquacurse

Because they have to use real meat.  The higher the quality of meat, the higher quality of jerky.  You are buying a bag of ready-to-eat flavoured steak, how should this not be expensive?

Is Quantum of Solace a “stand-alone” movie? I know you might not have seen it. But do you know if you need to see Casino Royale before you see it? -Melon_collie

No, you have to watch the previous 21 movies in order to be able to follow along with the explosions and car chasing.

Has anything weird ever come up on shuffle while you were doing the dirty? -MizzerAble

“Aids” by Ween.  We laughed and she hit FF with her toe, and the scrumping recommenced.

The What’s What, Volume 28

You smoked cigs?  Why?  And how did you quit? – KarinKoizumii

I did.  Parliament Lights for 10 years. I find the act of smoking almost spiritual. The feel of warmth in the lungs followed by a wash of fog out of the nose. I always enjoyed the feeling.  I quit 2 years ago this Christmas.  I used Chantix, a pill.  And I hate pills.  Still like smoking though.

The people doing all the dirty jobs in society need to be respected and recognized. I don’t like the way people look down on them. They clean up all your ****. -Stussie_King

I couldn’t agree more. I get vocal with anyone who thinks they are a better person because of the job they occupy.  Stranger, Family, or friend; you give flack to the girl that just brought over your chicken entree or the dude who cleaned your table and you will hear about it from me, as I openly tell you how much of my respect you just misplaced.

You switch bodies with a girl and have sex with yourself.  Your reaction? -Slibberty99

“Damn, I eat pussy like a champ.”

How many guys can you have sex with and still qualify as experimenting? What’s the limit? -Deckadunceman

When you have penis thats not yours in your possession or smuggled in your anus, you are at least “bi”. “Experimenting” is a buzzword word bigots use to describe their activities, to make them feel better about hating themselves.

Girls obviously get more attention than guys, but what if we just stopped giving it to them? What would they do? -BillsFan177

Attention is like mana, staph of life to some girls.  But, your plan is flawed. We give them less attention, and some knob seizes the opportunity to give just a taste of a compliment, and her legs just spread open like a hungry bird.

Steve Rhoades vs. Jefferson Darcy: Who was Marcy’s better husband on Married With Children? I liked how free Jefferson was with Al and everyone, but the more I watch older episodes I really am beginning to favor Steve Rhoades much more. How did him and Marcy separate because I don’t remember. Who is better to you as a character? -RattleNHummer

Though No Ma’am was funny at first, it took over the show and became old fast.  I was always a Rhodes scholar myself.  See what I did there? But seriously, he’ll always be Marcy’s husband in my mind.  Plus he was the original pioneer of leaving a show for better things and then flailing miserably as “that guy” who every popular show picks up for one episode.  He paved the way for greats like David Caruso to overestimate their free market worth.  And it’s always great to see someone who takes themselves too seriously get knocked down a peg.

This weekend made me realize that I don’t have it in me to have a one-night stand. I just can’t do it. I mean I’ve made out with girls an hour after meeting them but as far as taking them home to have sex? I can’t do it. Maybe I don’t have the “game” to work girls I just met into spreading their legs, but also it just doesn’t seem something I would do. -DDRNexus

This sounds like you’re trying to convince me.  Are you sure it’s because you don’t have the nerve to try, and you are practicing excuses? If you bang a girl you know you aren’t going to marry, then look at it as doing your future wife a favor.  Don’t worry about their feelings. I’m sure they’ll be able to get over your 8 hours of awesomeness with just a few months of crying alone, curled up in the shower.

What’s so hard about hating individuals instead of groups? -NiarraiN

Don’t associate yourself with groups that suck, if this bothers you.

The What’s What, Volume 27

Thoughts on President Obama? – nihilist4567

Ignorance wakes up in extreme discomfort this morning and I, for one, welcome that.

Would you voluntarily have sex with 50% or more of women your age? -Linklots44

I’ll assume for the basis of argument that I’m single and everyone is STD free.  So, I think yes. I’ve always found plainness attractive.  My standards have always been set on a case by case basis of women that show a sexual/relationship interest in me.  And I always liked variety; body type, skin colour, disabilities (she was deaf).  Very few were rejected.

I saw Fast Times At Ridgemont High for the first time yesterday awesome movie though it would be more awesome if they gave Sean Penn’s character more screen time. -hotgoogunn

I particularly enjoyed the immediate dismissal of serious issues. “I’m gonna go grab a quick abortion in the time it would take to go bowling.” *wipes hands* “Okay, and on with the comedy!”

Have you done ANYTHING remotely notable in your life? -eaglent4242

Obviously, you mean besides this blog.  I wrote 2 novels, both were published and and failed miserably.  That’s about as close as I got.

Do you like cold or warm weather? I’m a cold weather type-of-guy personally. -Stahmchasah988

There is nothing like flannel pyjamas, a quilt, my wife, my dog and a fire.  I’m going with cold weather.

Protip: Don’t use soap as lubrication. What the hell was I thinking that one time -NavySailorX

Once a girl gave me a handy with soap while I was knuckle deep in her in the girls bathroom at church during sunday school.  We had to hurry so I just kind of wiped off, instead of rinsing.  It left this crusty painful film I had to peel off my junk.  Like when you were a kid and dried Elmers glue on your hand.  Only this was my junk, and it hurt.  Still worth the life experience of a knuckle-shuffle at church.  Growing pains, i believe they’re called.

I never understood why it is selfish of people to commit suicide. I don’t support suicide in anyway, and I think people are weak for doing it. How is it selfish? -TellyMundo05

Because its a permanent solution to a temporary problem.  One who commits suicide has their own gains in mind and pays no attention to the feelings of others.  It’s the ultimate act in the “Ill show them” arsenal.

why doesn’t my cat like her belly scratched? she always tries to bite my fingers -jumblemix19

Instincts. Usually when things go for an animals stomach its to disembowel them so they may eat them after a slow painful death.

Something I’ve always wondered about: Does anal intercourse promote constipation or diarrhea? – Spacesage

I suggest a professional opinion. You should call your Mom anyway, she misses you.

The What’s What, Volume 26

Is it mandatory to join the Selective Service System? They sent me some stuff about having to join or else I would go to jail, are they just ****ing with me or are they serious? _MynameisRomas

You won’t go to jail. Don’t plan on getting a cushy government job though.

Have you ever ran into celebrities/pro athletes? Last week at a California Pizza Kitchen in Milwaukee I ran into Gabe Kapler. Well, he was seated with his family at the booth behind mine. I (and everyone else) left him alone. -Lancemalot

Are you sure it was Gabe Kapler? I don’t see how he could possibly eat in public with the tsunami of fan asking for autograph and picture.

But actually, I saw Reggie Jackson at the Saratoga Race Course last year going up the clubhouse steps surrounded by security. I yelled “I must kill the Queen!” at him. (His only line from Naked Gun.) He turned around, we made eye contact, he smiled and pointed at me. I yelled “I’m a Sox fan, but I still love you Reggie.” He laughed and said loudly to me, all with eye contact “That’s cool, I don’t hear that one that much anymore.” It made me feel awesome. Even though I am a Sox fan.

My new ex-GF wants to see the guy she cheated with again, to make sure I’m “the one”. Hence, “ex-GF”. -BigEyeland

Well, that didn’t go the way she planned. Or did it?

The What’s What, Volume 21

Sweet potato fries, or regular?  I know a lot of people who absolutely hate Sweet Potato fries, but I love ‘em. Healthier too. I just like to slice up a sweet potato and salt the wedges then bake it in an oven. Absolutely delicious. -DrDiablo

I like sweet potato fries with BBQ and steaks, but regular fries with burgers and hot dogs, or with gravy and cheese.

If you had to choose: 1 night with Angelina Jolie or ten Pounds of dat dankest bud? Replace Jolie with someone else if she’s not your type. But if you had to choose between one night of sex with your dream girl and a enormous amount of weed, which would you chose? -Flesh_Aaaaaa

I’d take the weed because I did the math.  Smoking at my current rate (1/8th a week) that would be EIGHTEEN YEARS of free weed.  There is no way that one night of hosing man chowder on a hot celebrity is going to equal 18 years of free laughable complacency.  Just the way I roll, I guess.

If you went back in time and killed Hitler as a baby, someone else would’ve done what he did. We are all placedholders in this world. -MaximusClitorius

Thats a ridiculous assumption.  If you were aborted this question would still be in my in-box?  Then what is the point of you living?  Have a little more respect for your self-worth.

How many times did you fap to the Olympics? -Bob_A_Fett

I lost count after Day 2.   I’ve devised an estimation formula: Programming hours of Gymnastics + Beach Volleyball + Synchronized Diving and divide by 2.  Thats my best estimate.

so i was watching the Scrabble championships on espn… and someone totally made up a word the judges totally didn’t catch it, he was asian too which explains it. -Iced-Tee

Not a judge thing, people do it all the time.  It’s the reason championship scrabble is retarded. Its the players responsibility to challenge, they just assume the championship player across from him knows more than them and never challenges.  Totally ridiculous.

Do you listen to music in a language you don’t understand? -Hellabund71

Yeah, I like a lot of Indian stuff, and I’ve been into French rap for a while.

Isn’t it great when in a movie a kid can fix a complex problem, with their “computer skills” I just have to hack in to the main frame and change the data and the town will be saved! -E_Mail_Address

What’s worse is any movie where a child is considered the wisest person in the movie.  Sleepless in Seattle, Pay it Forward, that new Ryan Reynolds joint where Abigail Breslin is telling her father “Trust me, Dad. You’re NOT happy.”  Precocious fuckers.  Also, women or children who need to be rescued, and then invariably become action heroes somehow and help the ass-kicking process bothers me, too.

Do you approve of McDonalds, and if so, what do you usually order? -prezidense

Sure, fast food is good once in a while.  1 Big Mac, 1 McChicken sammich, Med Coke

my parents won’t let me sell me wii because supposedly it’s the “family wii” even though i bought it with my own money… -lordsofdogsville

Sell it anyway. If you are old enough to buy your own Wii, you are old enough to determine when you get bored of it.  Tell them to buy your Wii, or start looking for a new one, because yours is paying for something you need.

If there was a WNFL (Women’s National Football League), would you watch? – Omega-San

My friends will have forced me to have already drafted a fantasy league before Kick-off, so yeah, I’d watch.

Jeff Dunham is the least funny, overrated “comedian” today -sykniss

Hes corny as all get out. He might have some “talent” for ventriloquism, if there is such a thing.  I just can’t get past his corny jokes.

The What’s What, Volume 18

How exactly do I ask my mom this? I want to ask her why she never circumcised me. But how exactly do I bring that up in conversation? -Edmulled

“Mom, why do you hate jews?” No seriously, just ask her. Someone else asked her when you were born. It’s your penis, you have a right to know.

Rate a band /10: Dropkick Murphys -MrAwesome

9/10. Full disclosure though, I’m from Boston.

If you could prevent 1 persons death in any time in history, who would it be? -SambarLee

If we’re talking Epic History, JFK. If we’re talking personal guilty pleasure; Phil Hartman.

You ever “top-shelf” anyone? -BongZimmer

You mean the Mexican Aquarium? Top-loading? 2,000 Brown Flushes? Up-Tanking? No. I have never done it. Seems like it would be an awkward situation for me. I do know someone who claims to have “High-Bowled” Rachel Ray at her house in Saratoga. Great story he tells.

Should I smoke weed? -Harbringer319

Whichever those options you choose, neither will make you a better person. So, just don’t make a big deal about whichever direction you go, and people don;t have the right to resent you.

Slavery helped African-Americans because otherwise, they’d be starving in Africa. -crider4

If I was a southerner, I’d want white reparations for the transportation and room & board afforded to black people. Unfortunately, my great-great grandfather fought in the Civil war wearing Blue, so I don’t have any claim.

So a mosque is being built near my town and all the Christians are going crazy. Protesting to the government to try to get it stopped. Being an atheist, I really don’t see what the problem is. No one protests churches being built, why should they protest mosques? -Cruzcontrol

Is there another way for a religion built on tolerance to react?

What would you consider the perfect size for your ladies boobs? -BlackDraggin

Anything more than a handful is unnecessary and potentially dangerous. Plus it avoids the chances of some turd-burgling douche-gallon eye-humping your ladies chesticles right in front of you at any given point.

If given a choice between Hamburgers and Hot Dogs only at a BBQ, which one would you pick? -4Chancellor

Sight unseen? I would choose the hot dog, because I’ve been to many a BBQ where the burgers are burnt meatballs on a bun. Tough to fuck up a hot dog.

Are you Circumcised? I am and I’m proud not only because of the many health benefits but As a Jew it is the covenant that Abraham made with G-d when he said every descendant shall have the mark of the covenant. -fibronostalgia

I am, but neither feel pride nor shame because of it.

Would you have sex with your land lord if you were broke and needed to pay rent? What if your land lord was a dude but looked like a young david hasselhoff? -Frazzled

He can eat my cheeseburger off the floor.

Would have sex with your hot boss, regardless of the ramifications? -8bitselect

Depends on the boss, I have like 50.

I’ve never been a big fan of The Boondocks. and I’m black. Is there anything wrong with that? -Razashell

Im a big fan, and I’m white. I don’t think you are an Uncle Tom or anything because you don’t like a cartoon show thats aimed at your demographic. Just shows you are more complex than your skin color, but aren’t we all?

Why are so many people jumping onto the Buddhism bandwagon? Seriously. I’m hearing more and more people talk about how they’re Buddhist while also being their religion. What? -JayMotes

I don’t get how people feel the need to move from one religion to another, like one has the answers they need, and they can’t possibly have an identity of spirituality without religion. Anyway, Buddhism is a fine religion. Could use a dose of it in America. People should recognize that different things don’t have to be classified as better or worse, just different.

The What’s What, Volume 17

My fat ass sister ate my Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Ice Cream. Half of the can was left yesterday night. Today I wake up and the can is in the trash empty.  Bitch.  -iPhony

Act like you are just noticing when she is in the kitchen.  Open the freezer, poke around and yell “Alright who ate MY cookie dough…” Stop here, look at your sister and say, “Oh, you did; I can tell by the 18 ounces of cream and sugar visible in your thighs.”

Does anybody really ask a girl to be their girlfriend?  It just happens with me. -StraightFighter3

I did. I’d say “So, what? Are we at that point where I get to make fun of you, and give you a nickname like “Muffin-Ass”, and have to stand up for you when other people are making fun of you? Or are you still shopping around? No big deal, I just like to know where I am at.”  I gave a version of that speech to 10 different girls and each one thought it was endearing and charming.

i started work at summer camp today. it was a good day, lots of memories from years past, and lots of fun times today.  We had a game called “deetz”, where you punch people in the nuts. It’s funny when you aren’t getting hit. We couldn’t last 1 day without someone getting deetz’d. -assandphyre

Sweet! A reason to touch 10 year old boys in their groin, have fun in Chris Hanson’s chair.

Hot Pockets take 30 minutes to cook in the oven Does this seem like BS to you? WTF? Are they trying to pass it off as filet mignon? – Theeter

3:15 in the micro with that pseudo-foil sleeve is the best way I’ve found.  I like the crust softer though.  In 30 minutes I could cook real food.

Everything that ever had a beginning had a cause for its creation. So can you please tell me how the universe came to be without a cause? I just want an honest answer. Thanks  -SliteofMan

The contraction into itself of the previous universe caused a massive explosion, the Big Bang.  Also, this is not a good debate starter, the Atheist gets to ask “What created God then?”

With inconsistent QBs, below average RBs, and only one decent WR (from what we’ve seen from him,) do they lack an offense? -EMailaddress

Unless they put in 10 lineman and Devin Hester, they do NOT have an offense.

Do you shave or trim your armpits? I’m debating on whether or not I should shave them or just trim ‘em.
What do you do? -FreakoBellic

I trim them.  More often in the summer.

Kids is the most useless movie I’ve ever seen, horrible. -3dbuck

There was a lot of bad acting, thats for sure.  And I don’t care about my friends drama, I don’t know why anyone thought I should care about these peoples manufactured nonsense.

Rate my DVD haul from the $5 bin at Wal-Mart/10; Clerks 2, Joe Dirt, School of Rock, South Park Movie, Fight Club. -Haddagootodd

I’m gonna go with 8/10.  School of Rock is a kids movie, and Fight Club is a bit overrated.  I instinctively find myself distrustful towards soap-makers because of that movie.

Do you drink at all?  If so, how often? -SecretAsianMan

I exclusively drink whiskey, rather rarely.  Maybe, three drinks in one sitting a month. I haven’t been drunk since college, like 10 years ago.