The What’s What, Volume 28

You smoked cigs?  Why?  And how did you quit? – KarinKoizumii

I did.  Parliament Lights for 10 years. I find the act of smoking almost spiritual. The feel of warmth in the lungs followed by a wash of fog out of the nose. I always enjoyed the feeling.  I quit 2 years ago this Christmas.  I used Chantix, a pill.  And I hate pills.  Still like smoking though.

The people doing all the dirty jobs in society need to be respected and recognized. I don’t like the way people look down on them. They clean up all your ****. -Stussie_King

I couldn’t agree more. I get vocal with anyone who thinks they are a better person because of the job they occupy.  Stranger, Family, or friend; you give flack to the girl that just brought over your chicken entree or the dude who cleaned your table and you will hear about it from me, as I openly tell you how much of my respect you just misplaced.

You switch bodies with a girl and have sex with yourself.  Your reaction? -Slibberty99

“Damn, I eat pussy like a champ.”

How many guys can you have sex with and still qualify as experimenting? What’s the limit? -Deckadunceman

When you have penis thats not yours in your possession or smuggled in your anus, you are at least “bi”. “Experimenting” is a buzzword word bigots use to describe their activities, to make them feel better about hating themselves.

Girls obviously get more attention than guys, but what if we just stopped giving it to them? What would they do? -BillsFan177

Attention is like mana, staph of life to some girls.  But, your plan is flawed. We give them less attention, and some knob seizes the opportunity to give just a taste of a compliment, and her legs just spread open like a hungry bird.

Steve Rhoades vs. Jefferson Darcy: Who was Marcy’s better husband on Married With Children? I liked how free Jefferson was with Al and everyone, but the more I watch older episodes I really am beginning to favor Steve Rhoades much more. How did him and Marcy separate because I don’t remember. Who is better to you as a character? -RattleNHummer

Though No Ma’am was funny at first, it took over the show and became old fast.  I was always a Rhodes scholar myself.  See what I did there? But seriously, he’ll always be Marcy’s husband in my mind.  Plus he was the original pioneer of leaving a show for better things and then flailing miserably as “that guy” who every popular show picks up for one episode.  He paved the way for greats like David Caruso to overestimate their free market worth.  And it’s always great to see someone who takes themselves too seriously get knocked down a peg.

This weekend made me realize that I don’t have it in me to have a one-night stand. I just can’t do it. I mean I’ve made out with girls an hour after meeting them but as far as taking them home to have sex? I can’t do it. Maybe I don’t have the “game” to work girls I just met into spreading their legs, but also it just doesn’t seem something I would do. -DDRNexus

This sounds like you’re trying to convince me.  Are you sure it’s because you don’t have the nerve to try, and you are practicing excuses? If you bang a girl you know you aren’t going to marry, then look at it as doing your future wife a favor.  Don’t worry about their feelings. I’m sure they’ll be able to get over your 8 hours of awesomeness with just a few months of crying alone, curled up in the shower.

What’s so hard about hating individuals instead of groups? -NiarraiN

Don’t associate yourself with groups that suck, if this bothers you.

As it turns out, gay people aren’t so happy.

Proposition 8 passed in California, which essentially is the legalized discrimination of a group of peoples. I can marry a woman, but a woman can not. Full disclosure, I don’t really care all that much. I don’t care about gays, or black people, or religious people, because I am none of those. There are two groups of people in the world; those who say “Do whatever you choose, as long as it doesn’t hurt me, I have no issue”. And the rest have the “What you are doing is wrong, and I’m going to stop you.” mentality. Thats what I care about. I care about stopping people who take themselves too seriously, that somehow they matter enough to be able to force their beliefs into my home.

So, to Homosexuals, I offer this solution. Get married. “I/They can’t,” you say, “that’s the whole problem.” Hear me out. I think Homosexuals people should protest with gay couples finding lesbian couples, pairing up men/women and having a double wedding. In a church.  After the ceremony, you go off with your original partner and live happy lives.  Maybe you call the lesbians twice a year; once to celebrate your anniversary, another dinner party to fill out your taxes. Maybe exchange Christmas gifts for laughs. But, the whole point, is that homosexuals are getting married. Just to each other. Confused? Good, thats the point. Confusing the issue makes the opposing argument lose weight. How could a conservative Christian be angry with a man and a woman marrying each other? Because they are gay? They can’t be gay, they just got married! See the fun that can be had?

The end game; Homosexuals get the same rights as married couples because they are married. And Christians are pissed off because gay people are getting married in their churches and making a circus of the institution that already has a 50% failure rate, and a joke of their beliefs.

Gay men, help your cause, marry a lesbian.

The What’s What, Volume 27

Thoughts on President Obama? – nihilist4567

Ignorance wakes up in extreme discomfort this morning and I, for one, welcome that.

Would you voluntarily have sex with 50% or more of women your age? -Linklots44

I’ll assume for the basis of argument that I’m single and everyone is STD free.  So, I think yes. I’ve always found plainness attractive.  My standards have always been set on a case by case basis of women that show a sexual/relationship interest in me.  And I always liked variety; body type, skin colour, disabilities (she was deaf).  Very few were rejected.

I saw Fast Times At Ridgemont High for the first time yesterday awesome movie though it would be more awesome if they gave Sean Penn’s character more screen time. -hotgoogunn

I particularly enjoyed the immediate dismissal of serious issues. “I’m gonna go grab a quick abortion in the time it would take to go bowling.” *wipes hands* “Okay, and on with the comedy!”

Have you done ANYTHING remotely notable in your life? -eaglent4242

Obviously, you mean besides this blog.  I wrote 2 novels, both were published and and failed miserably.  That’s about as close as I got.

Do you like cold or warm weather? I’m a cold weather type-of-guy personally. -Stahmchasah988

There is nothing like flannel pyjamas, a quilt, my wife, my dog and a fire.  I’m going with cold weather.

Protip: Don’t use soap as lubrication. What the hell was I thinking that one time -NavySailorX

Once a girl gave me a handy with soap while I was knuckle deep in her in the girls bathroom at church during sunday school.  We had to hurry so I just kind of wiped off, instead of rinsing.  It left this crusty painful film I had to peel off my junk.  Like when you were a kid and dried Elmers glue on your hand.  Only this was my junk, and it hurt.  Still worth the life experience of a knuckle-shuffle at church.  Growing pains, i believe they’re called.

I never understood why it is selfish of people to commit suicide. I don’t support suicide in anyway, and I think people are weak for doing it. How is it selfish? -TellyMundo05

Because its a permanent solution to a temporary problem.  One who commits suicide has their own gains in mind and pays no attention to the feelings of others.  It’s the ultimate act in the “Ill show them” arsenal.

why doesn’t my cat like her belly scratched? she always tries to bite my fingers -jumblemix19

Instincts. Usually when things go for an animals stomach its to disembowel them so they may eat them after a slow painful death.

Something I’ve always wondered about: Does anal intercourse promote constipation or diarrhea? – Spacesage

I suggest a professional opinion. You should call your Mom anyway, she misses you.