The Whats What, Volume 7

Did you hear about the milf mayor that posted lingerie pics of herself on her myspace? -hreddum

I’m baffled this is news.  She also had pictures of her and her family in bathing suits on some family vacation.  Wheres the fucking news story?

What percentage of Americans do you think are idiots? -yodasteve

25%-33%.  Thats my estimation.  Did you know that 98% of Americans think that they are smarter than 50% of Americans?  Just thought Id throw that stat out there, I find it fascinating.

Why the new site? -Adamizer421

The old site said I was too popular to be there for free.  So, I left. I heard that this site, though less flashy,  would prefer popularity, hoping people coming here to read my blog, stay and make their own.  I’ve lost a serious amount of readership though.  Thanks to the few who made the jump with me.

Will Christianity still be as predominant in 2000 years as it is now? -jonezbones

Interesting question. If humans last to 4008, I think they’d evolve into more spiritual beings then religious ones.  If humans don’t make it to 4008, chances are, religion had something to do with it.

You shouldn’t do drugs.  I did ecstasy with my girlfriend last night and because of my highness and feeling of well-being I mentioned that we should have a threesome with one of our mutual friends. she got extremely upset and we might break up because of it. -Blackhole105

It doesn’t sound like drugs are the problem.  It sounds like your idiot mouth is.  If you were drinking beer, your girlfriend would have just laughed it off?  Ecstasy is a designer drug anyway.  Go with what the Earth offers.  Pills only bring trouble.

What’s the most important part of a movie? -Gh0stII

Writing, specifically character development.  If I dont care for the people or their stories, no amount of acting or special effects will cover that up.Did you brag about losing your virginity? -Black-Sailz

No.  I probably should have, seeing as I lost my virginity years before my friends did.  I didn’t see much of them when my high school girlfriends were open for business, anyway.  Im not regretful, though.  If I had to do it all over again, very little would change.

The Vatican made up “new sins”. It is now a sin to pollute. It is also a sin to support genetic advancements. Here’s  a Vatican official talking about it, because who better to consult about science than the Vatican, amirite? -CrandallWeathers

This is obviously a measured move by the vatican to gain back some of the sheep they lost from the flock.  Because nothing gets kids interested in religion more then additional rules to follow.  Funny line you got there about science, though.

My roommate found a wallet today on the ground, took the money out and threw it back down There was $101 in it. Now we have Brawl.  That is all. -HeyGrazer

At least throw the wallet in a post box.  The guy gets his cards and numbers and pictures back, anyway. I certainly have no issue with you taking the money, but at least earn it by providing the guy a solid service by returning the stuff you cant use.  Nice of your buddy to spend that money on a videogame for you both.  I went to a casino with friends and we agreed whoever won the most money would buy breakfast.  Two guys won over $1,000 and immediately started complaining about how broke they were and how this money was going to bail them out.  No breakfast.  Jerks.  One guy actually spent all the money on a date with a girl who didn’t want him.  She sure took that fancy date though.  Turns out, both of them came out losers.

As it Turns Out, I have a Tagalong Problem

Seriously.  I have eaten two boxes this season, have an open one on my desk, own two more in the freezer, and have at least 4 more boxes coming from different sets of girl scouts.  Tiny green bitches and their chocolate crack.  God help me if those Samoas solicitors are hanging around the front of any building I have to go into.  I can’t walk by without buying two boxes.  Remember that old Tootsie Roll song, “Whatever it is I think I see, becomes a Tootsie Roll to me”.  Thats me, only with orange boxes.  Those tiny little delicious disks, they’re well worth a quarter a piece.  Which, coincidentally, is about the cost of each cigarette.   Just as addicting, but if I was still smoking, Id be losing weight.  Keep your eyes on the news in June.  Ill be the one arrested for shaking the shit out of a little girl wearing a green dress, begging her for my fix.  Will I care shes not even a girl scout?  Probably after I spend a few hours in the detox tank.

As it Turns Out, Transformers are Galactic Hippies

While trying to wrap my head around the Transformers movie plot line last night, and consistently failing, I noticed the profound psychological argument embedded in Transformers I had somehow missed when I was 7.  Quick review, so the AutoBots (Good Transformers) come to Earth to stop the Decepticons (Bad Transformers) from getting this super powerful cube.  Of which the main function of, apparently, is killing humans by transforming things into human killing robots.  From what I can understand, the only reason these robots exist on planet CyberTron is to either destroy or protect humans, some light years away, presumably.  Ones name is “BoneCrusher” for some reason.  Like they know what “Bones” are, and how desperatly they are in need of “crushing” on planet Earth.  Anyway, theres a big existential debate between the good robots and bad robots on if humans should live.  One wants to kill us (for seemingly no reason), and the other wants to protect us because we deserve the option of whether to live or die.  Optimus Prime (leader of good robots) claims he would gladly give his life to save our waaaaay underdeveloped species.  He is to humans, what Hayden Panittiere is to whales.  Hes the Alicia Silverstone, standing up for those who cannot, by throwing the red paint of justice and righteousness at the evil Megatron.  And while Optimus Prime has the job of War General, BumbleBee has the only job of helping the main character renegade the panties of the most popular chick in school.  Really, this is the plot.  Somehow, one of the transformers is black.  Get this, hes the only good robot to die in the movie.  I guess they really did their research.

The Whats What, Volume 6

That show Intervention on A&E is intense . . . . . . you can watch entire episodes online now . . . f’ing intense. -tearsforbeers

Do you know how this show works? They tell the Junkie that they are doing a documentary on drug abuse, they give him/her a bunch of money to get zooted for a week, and then they televise the most personal thing anyone ever has to go through on national TV.  Disgusting exploitation.  Makes me sick of the families that agree to this.

I just watched the video of Ed Dwyer shooting himself. I don’t understand why people willingly watch these things as entertainment. You’re putting a permanent impression on your psyche by doing so. -SSgohan31

Honestly, I think that I react better in emergency situations because I damaged my psyche as a child by watching Faces of Death. Im less in awe of the situation when it arises, leaving me a clear head to make quicker, reasoned decisions.

Whenever we get into a fight, not an arguement, we basicly stop talking to each other. We don’t yell or scream but we walk around the house like neither one of us exist. We don’t say goodnight, but we remain courtous in front of our son. We kiss each other goodbye and say, have a good day and all that, but when she gets home it’ll be back to the same thing, no talking, no how was your day, just she does her thing and I do mine. 

So here’s my question. Is this healthy? Everyone fights in a relationship, that normal. But should I, knowing that she isn’t going to resolve it till she’s ready, just give in and let it slide until we can talk about it later, or should I continue to stand my ground and make her admit that she’s wrong so we can have resoloutn the the problem once and for all? -DeePiddy

Play her game. Not a word, and you can’t let her see that it bothers you. Go out when you usually don’t without a word, come home hours later and sit down in a common area without eye contact. It sucks that you both dont have the same way of working out problems, but your method only makes things worse for her. So make her method worse for her. You are already doing it now, without it being your choice. Make it your choice, and then own your choice. You are now better at it then her. When shes ready to talk, you still need time. Make her options suck for her.

Why do you smoke weed? I’m not going to try to sit here and act like some elitist douche about it all, I just don’t understand it. A couple of my friends that have smoked can’t give me a definitive reason for why they do such a thing. -projectshadow21

Because I don’t like alcohol, and I find sobriety a mundane chore.

be honest: Have you ever pooped and NOT washed your hands after? -mishtahdeeze

 I have pooped outside before, so yes, I guess.  I washed my hands when I got home.  Whats the time alottment for washing traces of poop from your hands?  I’ve never had pink eye, anyway.

Were you kidding when you said there was a sex video of you on the itnerenet? -  hayzeedayzee

Me and my girlfriend were illegally taped in a motel having all sorts of weird sex play during a trip to her prom. It was on the internet for a few weeks before the guy was caught.  I took a settlement check and had to sign a bunch of papers.  It was out there, Im sure some poeple got it to their hard drive before it was removed.  I never called and told my ex-gf.

When does McDonald’s breakfast end around you? 10:30 or 11? -E11ios

6 hours later, in my toilet.